i revisited my past today and it really hurt things made me realise i was stupid selfish and daft and i mean my cousin died almost two monthes ago of a heart attack at 29 after just having her second child he was 3 weeks old and she died it as made me realise how precious life is and how we should try and make ammends for past mistakes and try and not to hurt people in the future i truly regret alot of stuff i have done now in my past and wish i could change it and i wish i could take away pain i've caused people that mean so much to me and all i wish is to be given a chance not to be forgiven but to be given a chance to put things right or at least try to and it is very true you don't know what you've got until it's gone as any1 else ever felt like me

I expect most people have felt like this at some stage in life. The trick is to don't let life get your down- chin up girl- one cannot re-do the past so leave it just there-in the past. Regards Nan

Regardless of how much you think you have changed, if you place yourself in the same situation again it is very possible that you would behave in the same way and cause far greater pain than you did the first time around. It can become a cycle which both parties can't break out of.

What goes around, usually comes around. It often takes someone else behaving in the same way towards you to make you realise just how much agony you caused by your own behaviour.

I am sure you have given your apologoies to the people you have hurt.

Move on and put the past behind you.

I sincerely believe you are wrong Ant. That is the whole point in learning by your mistakes, or the mistakes of others. You still make more mistakes but not the same ones.

Looking back on the past need not only be a thing of misery and upsets. So many good things took place in your life. Even if it was no more than scaring the cat from beneath the car before the vehicle drove over it.

People are too quick to look back and see only the negative sides of the past, hardly sparing a thought for all the good that came out of whatever took place.

And in remembering the people we have lost - we do not lose them at all, but carry them with us in our thoughts and in our hearts. The person you fell out with and never got to say sorry to before they died - just honouring their memory is a way of saying sorry.

The past is what makes us who we are - good and bad - and there is no harm in remembering or taking that trip down memory road every now and then.

Dragon

There may well be people reading your remorseful post who have been scarred by your past behaviour, as you are well aware, Kirsty. Talk is cheap. It's easy to post a message expressing remorse for treating people in the past like dirt. Express your remorse by way of improving your behaviour in future relationships. Public expressions of remorse tend to be purely self-comforting.

Originally posted by lemonkirdy
i revisited my past today and it really hurt things made me realise i was stupid selfish and daft and i mean my cousin died almost two monthes ago of a heart attack at 29 after just having her second child he was 3 weeks old and she died it as made me realise how precious life is and how we should try and make ammends for past mistakes and try and not to hurt people in the future i truly regret alot of stuff i have done now in my past and wish i could change it and i wish i could take away pain i've caused people that mean so much to me and all i wish is to be given a chance not to be forgiven but to be given a chance to put things right or at least try to and it is very true you don't know what you've got until it's gone as any1 else ever felt like me

Can we have a whip round and buy lemonkirdy a full stop for her keyboard :hihi:

I felt the same way when a familly member suddenly died. It made it clear to me how quickly someone you love can be taken away and you will never see or hear their voice again. Dont let it change your relationships, just cherish the ones you have and make the people close to you know you care about them.

There are many things in my life i want to change, but i cant do it as im affraid of the upset this would cause, i may be putting their feelings b4 my own but, i have changed my out look at life and have come to understand that its a gift why try to ruin it for other for a selfish act for myself.

Madowl - how do you know that the selfish act would ruin it for others rather than enhavce their lives until you actually tried it?

Regret is pretty normal - but that has been covered by another thread. Wanting to change something or thinking how things could have been different is regret. We cannot live our lives by what ifs. It is better to learn to recognise our mistakes, decide if they were real mistakes, and to lead the rest of our short times on this planet with regards to those decisions.

MAy seem harsh but basically you will only ever do what you are supposed to do. You do not get any real options.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
Madowl - how do you know that the selfish act would ruin it for others rather than enhavce their lives until you actually tried it?

Regret is pretty normal - but that has been covered by another thread. Wanting to change something or thinking how things could have been different is regret. We cannot live our lives by what ifs. It is better to learn to recognise our mistakes, decide if they were real mistakes, and to lead the rest of our short times on this planet with regards to those decisions.

MAy seem harsh but basically you will only ever do what you are supposed to do. You do not get any real options.

Dragon life is not that simple when you have others to think about..... what ever we do in this life it effects others in one way or another, its not a case of regrets, or doing what your supposed to do... its also doing whats right.

You can still harbour regrets. I regret more things that I did not do than the things I did. Sometimes the easy path through life is not the idael one to take.

We all suffer at the hands of others. Such is the way of life, and eventually we become the others who cause suffering. But do we take the plunge and accept our redgrets and do what we know to be right, or do we continue to live a lie and hope for the best?

Sometimes there are no simple ways, and every step forwards looks far too scary for us to take, but we need to examine our choices and recognise the ones that are right.

A favourite of mine is "There is no law beyond do as thou wilt. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law. Love under will". I regret spending over 8 years with a partner I did not love though we had two fantastic children to show for it. I travelled the path I had to go along in order to reach the place I am now. Wonder where I would be if my path had been different.

Regrets are not a bad thing. Living without them does not mean you are perfect - just means you have much to learn - in my opinion. I could go on. I won't cos I do not want to bore you all.

Dragon

my past is ****e. And my future probably is ****e. I try and stay away from the past as I have regrets.

Lemonkirdy, if the person you regret treating badly is now dead,write a letter to them,expressing how you feel and apologising for the way you treated them,say your sorry,then seal the letter in an envelope, and put it away. Each time you get these feelings ,take the letter out again,and read it again.

Originally posted by Dragon


A favourite of mine is "There is no law beyond do as thou wilt. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law. Love under will".


I've always thought that was a ridiculous, nonsensical piece of twaddle. Having said that, what else could you expect from such a moronic waste of space as Crowley.

Which just goes to prove your limited kno9wledge and limited ability to see things as they really are Ant. But hey ho - each to their own.

Maybe time for some education? LOL. Crowley. LOL.

Guess what - mr so quick to put down everyone and everything that is not your way - Crowley did not write it - he repeated it.

Dragon

my friend said to me "Do you remember 20 years ago?" i said yes like it was last week (and i do! ) she said well think, cos in 17 years time we will be 60! shows how time flies.... god how i wish i was 23 again .......you cant change the past but you can help your future........you can ! :)

Originally posted by Dragon
You can still harbour regrets.
Dragon
Maybe so but, i can for the moment live with my regrets.. the years go by too fast... where the past 35 years of my life have gone i dont know?? but i do have 4 Beautiful children to show for it... they will one day grow up and leave home and have their own lifes etc, then i will be still young enough to have a life of my own to live with out regret knowing i did what was right for me. Dont get me wrong my regrets are "not my kids" im proud of them, ive hid my regret for them to protect them.
maybe with what you told me (pm) you will understand.

I realised the other day that I've been a graduate longer than I was a student. I saw some kids on the news getting their GCSE results - I was shocked when I realised it was nine years ago that I got mine.

Regrets - yes plenty, but at least I regret things I've done. Would hate to be on my death bed thinking "I wish I'd tried that..."

Its not so much 'I wish I had tried that', Andy. More a case of 'If only I had done that'.

We have all been there - even those who say they have no regrets. If only I had stayed on at school; if only I had not packed in my job; if only I could remember; if only I had bought that anniversary card; and so on.

Often the things that affect us the most are the things we haven't done. Often - but not always.

Madowl - you have my total support on this. You do what you think is right at the time, and hope everything will turn out great in the end, but you do not see the resentment and the accusations that come from putting up with something for years and then turning away when it seems that part of your life is finished. Your kids leave home, and you go do what you want to do, but where does that leave the other half - if there is one, or where does it leave the folks who helped and supported you?

Aint life a big mess.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
Which just goes to prove your limited kno9wledge and limited ability to see things as they really are Ant. But hey ho - each to their own.

Maybe time for some education? LOL. Crowley. LOL.

Guess what - mr so quick to put down everyone and everything that is not your way - Crowley did not write it - he repeated it.

Dragon

Dragon, just because I disagree with your philosophies doesn't automatically mean that my knowledge is limited. That makes no sense at all.

Why the two LOL's? You are coming across as a little bitter, my friend. Chill. I just happen to disagree with you - is that such a crime? I strongly believe that Crowley wrote it (and it is a lame passage), not the ludicrous story he peddled, that some "mysterious being" dictated it to him in Cairo.

Dragon,
Whether or not Crowley penned the 'Do as thou wilt' entreaty, why is it such good advice? Aside from Crowley's reputation as self-appointed Beast of the Apocolypse, isn't the idea that we should do whatever we wish really an encouragement to selfish, egocentric hedonism? What about the impact on others who do not share this 'free as a bird' philosophy. Frankly, I agree with Ant. Crowley, or 'the mysterious being' is spouting ludicrous, fatuous rubbish. There is more wisdom in the message contained within the average Xmas cracker.

Ahh! Common sense, skillfully wrought. Music to my ears.

I'm sure we've all felt like that at least once in our lives and the most important thing is to make sure you & your life are the way you want them to be now. The past is the past.

Though I am certain this is not a thread about Crowley I assume that failing to answer questions will result in people jumping about saying - Hah!

Do your research on Crowley - and I am not talking about the rubbish that is widely available about him - the nonsense from newspapers and such. Crowley was the father of the two main branches of witchcraft about at the moment - Alexandrian and Gardnerian wicca. Not bad from a madman.

The words of the Law originate from way before Crowley was even a twinkle in his mothers eye. Again - If you are interested then I am sure a little digging on the net will show you this. I found a nice picture of a temple like the ones in Greece - you know - the ruins, and there faded above the door was part of the inscription that is the law.

Your speed to dismiss the words of a man because of the rubbish that was placed about him does not do you justice.

I dislike Crowley intensely, but the works of his are something altogether different. Of course - you would need to research the occult to learn more about that, and I am sure it is outside your scope of interest.

Bitter? Me? Nah! I thought it was funny because I have used the same arguments to diss Crowley and his teachings to put off those who were not ready to look beyond the man and actually understand his words.

Now you try to discount Love being the Law, maybe in another thread, and you will be so proven wrong I hope. Anyhow - back to the topic of the thread eh?

Dragon

Your speed to dismiss the words of a man because of the rubbish that was placed about him does not do you justice.

I dislike Crowley intensely, but the works of his are something altogether different. Of course - you would need to research the occult to learn more about that, and I am sure it is outside your scope of interest.

It is actually well within my scope of interest, and I may well have read many of the books which you have read. I abandoned any real interest in the occult after growing out of that phase, and applying logic and reasoning to a scrappy field where for some odd reason, only fellow practitioners claimed to observe tangible results from their occult practices.

Crowley I dismiss on account of both his behaviour and his own writings. The man was a mentally unstable pig who penned nothing but drivel.

Yes we're all done now. Back on topic.

Footfalls echo in the memory

Down the passage which we did not take

Towards the door we never opened

Into the rose-garden.

That poem always gives me a raging headache. I find Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time" less imponderable. :hihi:

Originally posted by Ant
That poem always gives me a raging headache. I find Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time" less imponderable. :hihi:

Ant, strangely, I've never found it imponderable. Its meaning seems clear to me. Far from giving me a raging headache, it stimulates powerful and sometimes very painful pangs of regret.

It must be me. Too dim to decipher it. :rolleyes:

Originally posted by Ant
It must be me. Too dim to decipher it. :rolleyes:

Ant, I doubt that very much.

As I understand it, it is referring to our thoughts about the paths our lives might have taken - for example, if only we had pursued career path x rather than y; or if only we had married person A rather than person B etc.

The 'rose garden' refers to the happy and successful life we would have had if only we had followed a different path.

Its a variation on the 'if only' theme - and in my opinion beautifully and poignantly expressed

Originally posted by Ant
I've always thought that was a ridiculous, nonsensical piece of twaddle. Having said that, what else could you expect from such a moronic waste of space as Crowley.

If you can get past the smoke and mirrors of the occult trappings, crowley is actually pretty interesting. It's a given that he was an ardent self publicist, and an inspiration to L.Ron.Hubbard, but at the same time he was an extremely lucid intuitive psychologist.

Pretty good at yoga too, or so I am told.

Hah Phanerothyme - you giving lessons on Crowley to anyone we know?

The mad was a raving loony who should have been locked up and the key thrown away. However - as from the depth of madness comes the voice of reason, and some of what he wrote was pretty interesting stuff.

And lotds of wiccans have someone to be grateful to for the path they follow.

But are we not off topic here?

Dragon

Originally posted by Phanerothyme
If you can get past the smoke and mirrors of the occult trappings, crowley is actually pretty interesting. It's a given that he was an ardent self publicist, and an inspiration to L.Ron.Hubbard, but at the same time he was an extremely lucid intuitive psychologist.

Pretty good at yoga too, or so I am told.

Crowley's name is associated with the cult of excess. He had an excess of money, so that he could indulge his puerile fanatasies, but unfortunately for him he had no literary or other talent, except for attractive gullible idiots to whatever occult 'cause' he was currently espousing. If you read his writings or sayings, you will quickly realise this. He had a certain shallow charisma, but so do a lot of charlatans and con men. An inspiration to Ron Hubbard? Now that's some recommendation - wow!

I take it for definite that you have never even looked at "The Book of the Law" Lordchaverly?

Read the book, disected it a dozen times, found hidden depth and the literary value is open to each individual - a bit like a piece of art. Some people like Picasso, others think his work is garbage.

Which cult of excess is that then? The cults Crowley joined for much of his life were fronted by the Masonic Orders - as in the OTO; the Golden Dawn, and The Silver Star. Though that last one is definitely attricuted to the man himself.

I do not particularly like the writings of DH Lawrence. I find the works boring and much of what he writes about jsut makes no sense - does that make him a bad writer because I dislike his work?

Ah well - each to their own.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
I take it for definite that you have never even looked at "The Book of the Law" Lordchaverly?

Read the book, disected it a dozen times, found hidden depth and the literary value is open to each individual - a bit like a piece of art. Some people like Picasso, others think his work is garbage.

Which cult of excess is that then? The cults Crowley joined for much of his life were fronted by the Masonic Orders - as in the OTO; the Golden Dawn, and The Silver Star. Though that last one is definitely attricuted to the man himself.

I do not particularly like the writings of DH Lawrence. I find the works boring and much of what he writes about jsut makes no sense - does that make him a bad writer because I dislike his work?

Ah well - each to their own.

Dragon

Dragon,

yes i have read Crowley's works, albeit many years ago. I think if you trace their genealogy (as various literary experts have done) I think you will find that Crowley's writings are highly derivative. There is nothing original about them at all. Lawrence was literary genius. Crowley was a rich, egotistical mediocrity - a case of more money than sense if there ever was one. His whole life amounted to saying 'boo - look at me - aren't I wicked' - rather like a badly behaved child seeking attention.

Each to his own indeed.

I think when you are younger you take time for granted. You think you've got all the time in the world. I remember thinking when I had my son, 'when he's 16 I be nearly 40' He's 18 next month and it doesn't seem two minutes since I had him. I don't want to think about how old I will be in the next 18 years! But I do think you realise how quickly time flies, as you get older and realise you have to make the most of it.

Possibly jaded memory there Lordchaverly?

You continue to show you have little understanding of Crowleys writings. In occult circles at he very least - his works are held in the same light as those of Cornelius Agrippa; solomon and so on.

The book of the law covers every aspect of life and then some. Its depth is way beyond what most people understand, which is the whole intention of the book. He talks about his feelings concerning love - real love - and anger, rage, upset, war, famine, religion - and so much more - all in that tiny book.

Are you sure you read it?

Hmmmmm! Ponders!

Dragon

Originally posted by LordChaverly
An inspiration to Ron Hubbard? Now that's some recommendation - wow!

Trust me, You share my distaste for hubbard. The remark was intended to acknowledge Crowley's craven megalomania, hence the "...but".
:)

Originally posted by Phanerothyme
It's a given that he was an ardent self publicist, and an inspiration to L.Ron.Hubbard, but at the same time he was an extremely lucid intuitive psychologist.

Pretty good at yoga too, or so I am told.

Originally posted by Dragon
Possibly jaded memory there Lordchaverly?

You continue to show you have little understanding of Crowleys writings. In occult circles at he very least - his works are held in the same light as those of Cornelius Agrippa; solomon and so on.

The book of the law covers every aspect of life and then some. Its depth is way beyond what most people understand, which is the whole intention of the book. He talks about his feelings concerning love - real love - and anger, rage, upset, war, famine, religion - and so much more - all in that tiny book.

Are you sure you read it?

Hmmmmm! Ponders!

Dragon

Possibly very jaded memory I will agree. What I do know is that nothing I read of Crowley's encouraged me to ever want to read him again - in contrast to many other authors I can think of. As far as his esteem in 'occult circles' is concerned, well since I regard the occult as complete nonsense, I am hardly likely to be impressed by this either. His reputation in literary circles - correct me if I'm wrong - is zilch.

Those same literary folk who acclaim the works of Shakespeare? Well - fair enough. You have your point of view and I have mine. That is what makes the world turn.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
Those same literary folk who acclaim the works of Shakespeare? Well - fair enough. You have your point of view and I have mine. That is what makes the world turn.

Dragon

You can hardly compare Crowley to Shakespeare. The latter is unsurpassed in his mastery of the English language, the former wrote as a child imitating the style of the King James bible.

Getting back to the theme of the thread- yes, life does seem too short sometimes. I suppose it is all down to our perception of time and general temperament, state of mind and circumstances. I am a happy person who enjoys life, and for me there simply isn't enough time to do everything I want to, see everything and everyone I wish to etc. I can imagine that time, indeed life itself, must drag for those less fortunate.

We can revisit the past and make amends for wrongdoings in some cases. Of course, it is not always possible, but occasionally the opportunity presents itself. In my case, I have been able to 'heal a situation' with a rival/enemy of my youth through Sheffield Forum. I would never reveal the identity of the poster, but he and I are now on very good terms and able [in his words] to 'put the past into perspective'. We both felt glad to be able to apologise to each other, and to move forward in a positive direction. At last, we understood each other, and realised how really very similar we both were as youths. He has turned into a gifted, clever, kind man. I sincerely hope that his opinion of me is now more favourable too.

Regrets Ive had a few, but then again to few to mention: I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption.

Originally posted by pattricia
Regrets Ive had a few, but then again to few to mention: I did what I had to do, and saw it through without exemption.

I didn't realise it was forum karaoke night. OK, I'll finish off then.

I did it maaeeey waaaaaeeeeyyyyyyyyyy.........

I can do 'Fat bottomed girls', but then again what red-blooded male can't?

I've been seen doing Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer by many of my friends.

yeah...sure i think i knew how it felt..ya noe..
well...it doesn't mean that ya can forget all the other things in life...i mean, come 2 think of it //there's still zillions of other ppl who would've shared the same feeling as ya did:
trust me ya should talked 2 them..
ya never noe ya might something that interests urself
:thumbsup:

I went and visited part of my past today... went back to the place I lived at for about **gets pen and paper out** 13 years, it was my first job as well, left school at the tender age of 15 **aww** and worked there for only a year but lived at the place for about 13 years, it was my school days home, and when we all left **Family** in 1981 it was the turning point of my life, living on a Farm (Whirlow Hall Farm) was a bit remote. I was actually shy, LOL

IT was very emotional today, the place was sooo quiet and could remember what I did there, and today was my first visit there for 24 years.

I certainly wouldnt relive my time in newcastle either, it wasnt a mistake it just wasnt right for me, hence I came back to my roots **Sheffield** and then met this place, and starting to meet some nice people off here.

Oh those were the days,. would I go back and re-live anything .. answer NO, some were mistakes and not doing them again, I look towards the future. Plus also cannot believe how quick time is passing by.

As many know I was involved in an incident involving knives and other injury potent weapons many moons ago..

I've often gone back to where my life changed all those years ago, the memories aren't so great but that was the point my life changed and I don't think it does any harm to be reminded how quickly things can change.

I can sit for hours just thinking back to these low lives tried to finish me off and how they've made the person I am today. Strong, Independant and annoying to some :P

Ah well, thats me piece said :D