Although this recipe does contain quite a substantial amount of calories at the start, simply follow the easy no bake recipe containing step by step instructions of how to remove them all. You can eat a whole cheesecake without the guilt or worry of piling on the pounds.

15 digestive biscuits
6 tbsp butter, melted
400g soft cream cheese
grated zest of 3 oranges (save segments for decoration)
200g mascarpone cheese
100g caster sugar
3tbsp milk
184ml double cream

1. Crush biscuits roughly. (calories fall out when you break or crush biscuits)

2. Put the biscuits in a bowl and mix in the melted butter. (When butter is melted the calories dissolve) Put the mixture into a 23cm cheesecake tin and, using your fingers or the back of a spoon to spread it evenly, press it down in the tin to form the base. Put the tin into the fridge to set. This should take 30 minutes.

3. Put the soft cheese, orange zest, mascarpone, sugar and milk into a bowl and mix very well with a wooden spoon. Mixing with a wooden spoon disorientates the calories and they topple out of the bowl.

4. Put the cream in a clean bowl and whisk until it is the consistency of thick custard. Add to the orange mixture and mix thoroughly. (Calories very rarely survive in an environment where cream cheese and double cream are mixed together with orange zest. This is because the citric acid from the oranges kills off the fat/calories.

5. Remove the cheesecake tin from the fridge. Pour the filling over the biscuit base and spread evenly. Decorate with segments of the orange and return to the fridge until ready to serve (at least 4 hours or overnight). Finally, if any calories have survived, when the cheesecake is chilled, any stray calories will rise to the top and when you remove the cheesecake from the fridge you can just blow them off.

*chuckles* Thanks for this :hihi:

That’s OK, I am very calorie conscious, i.e. conscious that there are far too many of the little blighters, especially in things like cheesecake and chocolate. The answer is to remove and/or kill them. In fact, why hasn’t anyone else thought of this? I am sure there are many people like myself who have far better things to do than count calories.

Another recipe for the health conscious. Peanut butter, strawberry jam and banana sandwich, made with wholemeal bread for fibre. If you eat this, together with a piece of the calorie free cheesecake you will have had 3 (strawberries, bananas, oranges) portions of fruit. If you follow this with 2 larges glasses of wine (2 portions of grapes), you will have had your 5 portions of fruit for the day and not forgetting the protein from the cheese in the cheesecake and also the peanuts. I think this proves that healthy eating can be fun and tasty too.

N.B. Suitable for vegetarians.

Thanks - I beleive it will work!

Try this then: - 2 weetabix with skimmed milk. Heat in microwave for 1 minute. Stir. Heat for 1 more minute then remove from microwave. Pour over double cream left over from the cheesecake. Leftover cream bought for another recipe has no calories whatsoever. You can now have a latte made with the leftover cream and the rest of the packet of digestive biscuits bought to make the cheesecake. Now might also be a good time to have 1 large glass of wine (grapes) to get in one of your 5 daily :thumbsup: recommended portions of fruit.

Can i ask where you have got this statement from Please
If citric acid was added to everything we eat then we would not have an overweight society at all

if you read the whole post, you'll see that it's made with 'tongue-in-cheek' ;)

On a serious note, when dieting, I rather enjoyed ryvita with dried apricots (soaked so they were all juicy and lovely) with light cream cheese. Obviously not as good as the real thing - but it did me!

Also on a serious note. Check out 'Quark' in the soft cheese aisle. I've used this in a Slimmers cheesecake recipe

Thanks Hayley, you got it. Norma, this is very much tongue in cheek. I am not a scientist, more of a satirist. I apologise.

This one's for Hayley. This is not one of my diets, buy I would recommend it.

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds up during the day. I have found that it REALLY works!!

BREAKFAST
* 1 grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH
* 1 small portion lean steamed chicken with cup of spinach
* 1 cup herbal tea
* 1 Penguin biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA
* The rest of the Penguins from the packet
* 1 tub Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves of garlic bread
* 1 family size supreme pizza
* 3 Snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

REMEMBER: 'Stressed' spelt backwards is 'desserts'.
Here's some advice for you: Doctors proclaim the way to
achieve inner peace is to finish all the things that you have
started. I've looked around my house to find all the things
that I've started and hadn't finished. I've just finished off a
bottle of vodka, a bottle of chardonnay and bottle of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of Pingeuns, tha 'mainder of botl Prozic an Valum prscriptins, the res of the chesescke, an a bax a cholates. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel!!

On a serious note, when dieting, I rather enjoyed ryvita with dried apricots (soaked so they were all juicy and lovely) with light cream cheese. Obviously not as good as the real thing - but it did me!

That sounds lovely and vegetarian too. Marvellous. The diet I am currently following doesn't work on my scales and the pointer suggests I have gained rather than lost weight. I don't understand :huh:

:hihi: much appreciated *hic!

Thanks Hayley, you got it. Norma, this is very much tongue in cheek. I am not a scientist, more of a satirist. I apologise.

This one's for Hayley. This is not one of my diets, buy I would recommend it.

This is a specially formulated diet designed to help WOMEN cope with the stress that builds up during the day. I have found that it REALLY works!!

BREAKFAST
* 1 grapefruit
* 1 slice whole-wheat toast
* 1 cup skimmed milk

LUNCH
* 1 small portion lean steamed chicken with cup of spinach
* 1 cup herbal tea
* 1 Penguin biscuit

AFTERNOON TEA
* The rest of the Penguins from the packet
* 1 tub Gino Ginelli ice cream with chocolate topping

DINNER
* 4 bottles of wine (red or white)
* 2 loaves of garlic bread
* 1 family size supreme pizza
* 3 Snickers bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK
* 1 whole cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

REMEMBER: 'Stressed' spelt backwards is 'desserts'.
Here's some advice for you: Doctors proclaim the way to
achieve inner peace is to finish all the things that you have
started. I've looked around my house to find all the things
that I've started and hadn't finished. I've just finished off a
bottle of vodka, a bottle of chardonnay and bottle of Baileys, a butle of Kehuha, a pockage of Pingeuns, tha 'mainder of botl Prozic an Valum prscriptins, the res of the chesescke, an a bax a cholates. Yu haf no idr who gud I fel!!

OMG! You have really cheered me up with this post! Love it!:love:

If you use the broken biscuits for the base, that reduces the calories, too.

Because the biscuits are broken, the calories have leaked out of them...

Other calorie losing tips are as follows:-

Anything eaten standing up has zero calories.

If you have a Diet Coke at the same time as a Mars Bar, the Diet Coke cancels out the Mars Bar...

If you use the broken biscuits for the base, that reduces the calories, too.

Because the biscuits are broken, the calories have leaked out of them...

Other calorie losing tips are as follows:-

Anything eaten standing up has zero calories.

If you have a Diet Coke at the same time as a Mars Bar, the Diet Coke cancels out the Mars Bar...

It does say in my cheesecake recipe that if you break the biscuits all the calories fall out. And I thought everyone knows that the only way to eat successfully and not gain weight is to stand up. It's obvious. If you are standing up the calories just fall straight past your belly and your bum straight on to the floor.

If you use the broken biscuits for the base, that reduces the calories, too.

Because the biscuits are broken, the calories have leaked out of them...

Other calorie losing tips are as follows:-

Anything eaten standing up has zero calories.

If you have a Diet Coke at the same time as a Mars Bar, the Diet Coke cancels out the Mars Bar...

This is very interesting. Does it work with wispa, twirl, a whole box of thorntons continental, twix, galaxy, galaxy caramel, kit-kat, giant chocolate chip cookies, jaffa cakes, peanut kit-kat (don't seem to be able to get them since they introduced the new caramel ones), toffee crisp and boost? Please reply urgentlyif the answer is yes, Co-op shuts at 10.

I heard that if you use carnation milk any calories evaporate.

I heard that if you use carnation milk any calories evaporate.

And does condensed condense them too? :confused:

And does condensed condense them too? :confused:

Yes it gathers them all together so none get left behind when they evaporate

Yes it gathers them all together so none get left behind when they evaporate
Does this mean that you have to use the evaporated milk in conjunction with the condensed i.e. simultaneously, to make this work? :confused::huh:

Does this mean that you have to use the evaporated milk in conjunction with the condensed i.e. simultaneously, to make this work? :confused::huh:

As posted earlier calories also disappear when biscuits are crumbled. Using condensed milk just helps all biscuit calories stick together before they disappear. I think using either condensed milk or evap milk helps the calories escape from the other ingredients.

here we are, here's the diet rules in full:-

* If you eat something and no-one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
* Foods eaten off plates or dishes about to be washed contain no calories as they are dissolved in the clearing up process.
* If you have a diet drink with a choc bar, the calories in the choc bar are cancelled out by the diet drink.
* When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
* Foods eaten at films have no calories as they are part of the entertainment package e.g. caramel popcorn, chocolate dipped ice-cream, marshmallows, chippies.
* Broken biscuits have no calories as the process of breaking causes calories to leak out.
*Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
*Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want


Chocolate is a vegetable:- Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans, and sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get a block of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the car park!

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose or diet powders, and advertising would affected in a major way. Entire industries would be devastated. People would be out of work. Families would be overwhelmed. You can't let that happen, can you?

Tell as many people as you can about this wonderful vegetable. Chocolate is a proven remedy for stress. Remember, 'stressed' spelled backward is 'desserts'.

:hihi:
I haven't been able to get hold of any Peanut Kit Kats either, and I don't like caramel :(

here we are, here's the diet rules in full:-

* If you eat something and no-one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
* Foods eaten off plates or dishes about to be washed contain no calories as they are dissolved in the clearing up process.
* If you have a diet drink with a choc bar, the calories in the choc bar are cancelled out by the diet drink.
* When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
* Foods eaten at films have no calories as they are part of the entertainment package e.g. caramel popcorn, chocolate dipped ice-cream, marshmallows, chippies.
* Broken biscuits have no calories as the process of breaking causes calories to leak out.
*Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It will take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.
*Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want


Chocolate is a vegetable:- Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans, and sugar is derived from either sugar cane or sugar beets. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

The problem: How to get a block of chocolate home from the store in a hot car.
The solution: Eat it in the car park!

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put 'eat chocolate' at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose or diet powders, and advertising would affected in a major way. Entire industries would be devastated. People would be out of work. Families would be overwhelmed. You can't let that happen, can you?

Tell as many people as you can about this wonderful vegetable. Chocolate is a proven remedy for stress. Remember, 'stressed' spelled backward is 'desserts'.

This is marvellous news. If I follow all of these simple rules I should be back in my size 10 jeans in no time. I have also been wondering that if you allow your dogs to watch you eating chocolate, if they do not take their eyes off it until it is completely finished, do you think they could telepathically remove the calories with their dogged determination?:)

:hihi:
I haven't been able to get hold of any Peanut Kit Kats either, and I don't like caramel :(

Me too, Hayley where can you get a Peanut Kit Kat? If I follow Plain Talker’s advice it would help with my diet as they are my favourites. Does anyone know where you can buy them? I have a car and I am prepared to travel. :help:

Nom nom nom must try this