Honest opinions please, this might be a long one.


I have a 6 yr old with my now ex husband, hee has him every weekend.

He recently split with his last girlfriend about October time for reasons I don't know. I found out a few months before the split she was smacking my son around the face after he came home one night and burst into tears, I hit the roof (as you would!) and told his father while she was still around I didn't want her being near him, or staying over night (they lived together)

Anyway, she moved out in November (late on) and my Ex moved back in with his dad.

Today he's informed me he's got a new girlfriend and that my son has met her this weekend, I went ballistic. This same guy who refused to believe his last girlfriend hit our son, beliving her over his own child, now decides without any thought and after only a month to introduce them!

Am I right to be totally and utterly P**d off?

My son still gets upset at the mention of the last g/f's name, was I right in saying it was too early to introduce them?

Am I just being over protective?

:help:

IMO it is too early but that isn't going to stop it happening :|

My ex was always doing it, it isn't helpful but all you can do is be the reassuring influence which doesn't change :)

in my opinion they should be kept seperate you dont want to introduce anyone to your and his son till it is concrete that he will be staying with her it is a bit unfair as your son will have no proper understanding surely he should have learnt that with the last girlfriend looks like he is not willing to put the effort in to do things properly,i would be angry as its you who had to pick up the pieces. x

I just wish he'd talked to me about it first. I have no argument over him meeting her, just not this soon. He's still so confused over the last one bless him, then having another thrust on him like this.

I just feel so sad for him. He was so happy when he got his dad back just him and dad, now its like he's been shoved aside again

I just wish he'd talked to me about it first. I have no argument over him meeting her, just not this soon. He's still so confused over the last one bless him, then having another thrust on him like this.

I just feel so sad for him. He was so happy when he got his dad back just him and dad, now its like he's been shoved aside again

Unfortunately, there's probably not much you can do about your ex being a pillock and not putting his son first.

As somebody else said, you're the stabilising influence in your lad's life, just give him a bit of extra reassurance that you're always going to be there, whatever happens with dad.

Honest opinions please, this might be a long one.


I have a 6 yr old with my now ex husband, hee has him every weekend.

He recently split with his last girlfriend about October time for reasons I don't know. I found out a few months before the split she was smacking my son around the face after he came home one night and burst into tears, I hit the roof (as you would!) and told his father while she was still around I didn't want her being near him, or staying over night (they lived together)

Anyway, she moved out in November (late on) and my Ex moved back in with his dad.

Today he's informed me he's got a new girlfriend and that my son has met her this weekend, I went ballistic. This same guy who refused to believe his last girlfriend hit our son, beliving her over his own child, now decides without any thought and after only a month to introduce them!

Am I right to be totally and utterly P**d off?

My son still gets upset at the mention of the last g/f's name, was I right in saying it was too early to introduce them?

Am I just being over protective?

:help:


Its going to be difficult for you and your son to trust anyone that your ex decides to date from now on, thats to be expected. but you should continue to reasure your son that not everyone believes in smacking(she sounds a nasty piece of work)
and if I were you id have a calm private chat with your ex to let him know that he's being a bit insensative towards his sons experiance with the last bunny boiler that he had a key cut for. :rant:

way too soon, what about if that relationship dosn`t last long?? things like this can be very confusing for kiddies(especially as the last one was horrible to him)
sounds like the ex is just thinking bout himself but what can you do?

Its going to be difficult for you and your son to trust anyone that your ex decides to date from now on, thats to be expected. but you should continue to reasure your son that not everyone believes in smacking(she sounds a nasty piece of work)
and if I were you id have a calm private chat with your ex to let him know that he's being a bit insensative towards his sons experiance with the last bunny boiler that he had a key cut for. :rant:

Tried this with him when he told me last night, he just shrugged his shoulders. Speaks volumes really :|

I personally wouldnt let him stay with his dad, To be a child is to feel safe with his parents and letting someone smack your son is beyond me, I can imagine its hard because he will want to see his dad but you cant guarantee what will happen, why dont you meet the new girlfriend and explain to her what happened with the last one, to be honest this can surely only work in your sons favor as she'll be extra nice to him as she will know what happened before.
Then if again they split up, just tell your ex that unless he is in a stable relationship he is not to introduce anyone to your son.

The only person who will know whether they want to trust this woman around your son is you so you go and meet her

Have you spoken to your ex in detail about this? To be honest, I have just spend two days with my ex drawing up a non-legal agreement on how to deal with issues like this, along with others. It appears to have helped, following a recent 'situation'. To be honest, when I got ditched over a year ago in favour of a younger version, and left with our son, the new girl moved in straight away. I had lots to deal with, and only actually found out from neighbours that SHE was looking after MY son whilst 'daddy' went to work. Recent events forced my ex to look how he behaved and the effect it had on his son, so we got together to discuss how we can prevent anything like this happening in the future. Fortunately, this woman is great with my son, but should that relationship dissolve, then we have 'time limits and procedures' now in place. My ex and I are both happy with what we have agreed, and have it in writing....not just for this kind of issue, but for lots of things. Perhaps you really need to sit down and talk with him and do the same sort of thing.

I was proven right over the weekend either way, they had a massive bust up infront of him and have split....

I think I may have to consult a solicitor about something in writing in future..