i need advice etc my mum has done a horrible thing to me im living with boyf with our daughter, the thing is today someone from jobcenter came to see me to sort my benefits out and i told him where i was living etc and my mum goes and screw things up for me now im in crap street and dont know what to do im angry and hurt.:rant: :( :mad: :cry: :sad: :x :shakes:

Why are you in trouble?

im not in trouble my boyfs mum rented me a room in a three bedroom house and my boyf has a room too now because hes working and im on benefits the dss will stop my money yeah i live in the house with him but we have each room its his mums house you see and now i have to move out and stop at me mums i dont want to i wanted to stop here i now have to find my own place that will take ages.

Fantastic punctuation there!

I'm afraid I don't feel sorry for you since you should probably have a job and pay for yourself anyway, instead of relying on dole money...

Originally posted by 1000000000
Fantastic punctuation there!

I'm afraid I don't feel sorry for you since you should probably have a job and pay for yourself anyway, instead of relying on dole money...

I tend to agree with this.

no sympathy i'm afraid. seems like a way to claim for more than your entitled.
if he's working he should support u regardless of where u live & is u both reside at the same address i's sure the dss will think u r cohabiting.

i have a 3mnth old baby to look after i dont intend to leave her till shes 12mnths old ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ilaria, I can't really give you any advice except to try and get a council place, as you have a child they will house you but it may be somewhere you do not particularly want to live with your daughter and your mums may be the only choice you have.
If your boyfriend is not your childs father and you are not living together in the same room as a couple you may be ok still,as he is under no financial obligation to either of you, it is probably worth talking to the CAB.
But I just wanted to say good luck and I hope things work out.

I am pretty sure the other people who have judged you have not experienced being a young single mum on benefits, otherwise they may be a bit more sympathetic. x

I haven't experienced being young, single with a kid and on benefits because I've got more common sense.
Having a kid when you can't afford to look after yourself in life is just selfish - plain and simple...

Originally posted by elf
you are not living together in the same room as a couple you may be ok

just a quick naive question - is that quote a genuine one. if it is it's no wonder the benefits agency is up the creek.

[MOD NOTE]Please moderate your language or this thread will be removed.

Exactly!Im at university and my partner graduated last year, but struggled to get a job for a while.

We tried to see what we were entitled to, and were made to feel like scum, they wanted to see every single document that we owned!

They took months and months, and were not really helpful at all. My partner was looking for jobs, but was always made to feel like he shouldnt be claiming anything.

He graduated in summer 2004 and finally got a job April 2005, and really we are hardly any better off!

I have lost my free pescriptions (aparently they have to do a joint assessment, even though he isnt entitled to them-he works full time! so i have lost my entitlement, maybe i should have said he lives in the lounge while i have the bedroom.) our council tax went from £40 a month to £80!!! he pays nearly £500 a month in tax, national insurance, student loan etc. So theres no wonder the benefit agency is not working as effectivley as it could be.

IT DOESNT PAY TO WORK, AND SO PEOPLE DONT!

(My partner does actually really enjoy his job, and wont be giving up any time soon!!!)

I think you need to start supporting yourselves, move in together somewhere else, doesnt necessarily have to be council house as there are lots of private properties.
The sooner you start to look after each other, the better. You need to aim to support yourselves and get on the property ladder.

So is what you're really saying then, that you told the man from the benefits agency that you were living with your Mum, and then your Mum told him that you were actually living at your boyfriend's Mum's house, with your boyfriend? Or do you mean you said you lived at a particular place, and then your Mum pointed out that your boyfriend lived there too?

Because if so, that sounds rather as though you are trying to defraud the benefits agency by claiming something to which you aren't entitled, by being economical with the truth about your circumstances. In which case I don't really think you're deserving of a great deal of sympathy.

Either way round it sounds a bit dodgy to me - maybe you should just come clean and own up to cohabiting with him, as indeed you did in the first post of the thread if i'm not mistaken.

I think you are going to have real problems getting them to believe that you and your boyfriend are living in the house but do not share the same bedroom when you have a baby together...

Have you got your name down for a place of your own with your boyfriend?

Originally posted by pdrnsf

IT DOESNT PAY TO WORK, AND SO PEOPLE DONT!

Do people who think this way ever stop and wonder where the money comes from to pay them benefits? Could it be the Giro fairy? Do they object to taking money from the vast majority of people who work and pay taxes? I think not................

Originally posted by cloudybay
[QUOTE]Originally posted by pdrnsf

Do people who think this way ever stop and wonder where the money comes from to pay them benefits? Could it be the Giro fairy? Do they object to taking money from the vast majority of people who work and pay taxes? I think not................

Hear Hear!

It may not pay to work but it is a better standard of life if you do work.

Also, it is hard for me to have sympathy when there is some sort of benefit fraud going on:suspect:

Come on ilaria, have you sorted it yet?

Originally posted by robbie
It may not pay to work but it is a better standard of life if you do work.

Also, it is hard for me to have sympathy when there is some sort of benefit fraud going on:suspect:

I second that robbie...

It's all gone quiet. where has ilaria gone?? have the fraud people taken you away?
:o

Ha! Maybe they have?

Ah! The sweet sound of holier than thou arising from this site. Easy to condemn her for her benefits claim but what else was troubling her? I thought she wanted some help - didn't get much from this site.

Perhaps if her grammar was better or she'd got a degree people might have been more sympathetic.

Should we all feel sorry for the SCROUNGER, I think not.

Originally posted by ilaria
i have a 3mnth old baby to look after i dont intend to leave her till shes 12mnths old ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if you have a 3 month old baby you be gettin loads of benefits anyway so why try claiming more?

sorry but i work damn had for what i get and i had to leave my daughter to go back to work when she was 6 motnhs as i am a single parent so stop whinging about it all

Originally posted by elf
Ilaria,
If your boyfriend is not your childs father and you are not living together in the same room as a couple you may be ok still,as he is under no financial obligation to either of you, it is probably worth talking to the CAB.



Is does not matter if you say your a couple or not.My x to my daughter lived with me till he got a place.He stop in the spare bedroom.and even tho the dss came out and saw that we was still liveing together even tho we told them we was not a couple they still class us as one.even if the baby father not ur partners that you live with, your still classed in the dss eyes as if you liveing together then you must be a partners.

I could not claim even tho i could not work with medical problems and with my x in the same house working.but soon as he left and proved he got his own place then i could get onto the dla that i was allowd to have.so no unless you get a seperate home to each other you can not claim as you still in the same house.even tho you may told them your not a couple.and that is through my own experience and not by word of mouth.

ilaria

your boyfriend should be keeping you i sympathise if he is on a low income and you may feel you cannot manage with just having a child. maybe you are just after what you can get as some people are but we should never make judgements on that if we dont know all the story.could you not try to get a part time job to help you out with money. i dont agree with SAVBABY, you should be at home looking after your child not dumping it with someone while you go out to work. a child needs its mother or father to be there in their young years not a grandparent relative friend or a stranger unless you have such a job like a doctor or you are only working part time.

when my first son was born back in 1973 my hubby was not working we were both only 17. you did not get child benefit in those days unless you had at least 2 children. dole money under 18 did not include money for children unless you were a one parent family, you had to go to the welfare clinic where you got free milk for your baby. we were told to ask my father to buy clothes for the baby and essentials as he was working i was still his responsability being under 18 even though i was married.

Originally posted by summer1955
ilaria

. i dont agree with SAVBABY, you should be at home looking after your child not dumping it with someone while you go out to work. a child needs its mother or father to be there in their young years not a grandparent relative friend or a stranger unless you have such a job like a doctor or you are only working part time.
.

i did not say that she should go back to work, i said i had to go back to work and i have to work hard for what i get, i work part time and its a struggle but needs must. yeah i could screw the system for every penny i can get but i am just not like that..

i like to know i have worked for my money and not just living of other people hard earned cash..
i do get help of the government but i also still pay my tax and national insurance.

and i will thank you not to suggest i have DUMPED my child on someone she is in a safe and happy enviroment

my daughter goes to a private nursery and she loves every minute of it, you can ask anyone on here who knows her how happy a child she is and she is not losing out on anything me being at work. i feel being back at work i send QUALITY time with her and she get to socialise with other people and kids so is generally a balanced kid

Originally posted by ilaria
i have a 3mnth old baby to look after i dont intend to leave her till shes 12mnths old ALRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One must see what is important in life, you can care for your daughter even if you leave her and go for work and earna living thus providing for your daughter's needs.

People like you live on benefits and make my worked for salary smaller as I pay more taxes on it. What I earn provides for my needs blah blah, I don't get no money from Council or owt.

You only ressort is to get a job and you'll get money, that is life !

Work => Money.

savbaby is a hard working woman who earns enough to take care of her daughter.

Money scrownger !

Originally posted by summer1955
i dont agree with SAVBABY, you should be at home looking after your child not dumping it with someone while you go out to work

Well if you don't work you don't get no money, obvious when you think about it really. Why should us tax payers keep you in benefits :confused:

Did any one see the artcle in Fridays Paper ( sorry not sure which one ) regarding the family who had 15 kids and got nearly £48,000 in benefits, that was not including council tax, perscriptions or rent

the paper stated that to get the same as they got on benefits, a WORKING person would have to earn around £70,000.

It seems to me that these people are just fleecing the Tax payers, I mean who in their right mind would have 15 kids??? These people are just lazy, good for nothing's!

we have two Kids and we both work, I work around 30 hours per week and my husband often works a 50 hour week to support our family.


TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE AND STOP SPONGING FROM US!!!
:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

Well it looks as though Ilaria hasn't posted anything since about five days ago, so maybe she didn't like the sort of advice she was getting.

I sympathise with your situation Ilaria

There is nothing wrong with claiming benefits, and the system is there to be screwed. Life is hard, and we have to do our best given the circumstances.

I had trouble with benefits people, when I took a year out of university after a nervous breakdown. I was too ill to work, but was not entitled to benefits (due to being still classed as a student). So I relied on my family to support me. Eversince then I've hated the system.

As someone else suggested your best bet is the citizens advice bureau. Or looking for housing with a housing association. I've been forced to live with my parents due to ill health. You just have to get through the tough times until you sort youself out.

I'm sorry I can't offer any real advice.

Good Luck!

I did not see much advice for Ilaria - just lots of abuse and attacks.

Love all you upright citizens who are so full of it cos you have been working a few years and paid a little tax. How much of it do you reckon goes to the benefits section of the government? A couple less nuclear missiles and we would not be having the difficulties we are experiencing.

That aside - of course it is great to work and bring home some cash to pay the bills. Brilliant. Her boyfriend is working so at least he is putting something into the system. What about all these bums who do absolutely nothing except draw from the state?

Sometimes I think too many folk jump on a bandwagon without thinking. Always easier to condemn someone than to offer advice. Maybe in this situation the view should be that Ilaria is being sublet a part of a house - just as if it was a flat, and some contributions made with regards to that view?

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon

Sometimes I think too many folk jump on a bandwagon without thinking. Always easier to condemn someone than to offer advice. Maybe in this situation the view should be that Ilaria is being sublet a part of a house - just as if it was a flat, and some contributions made with regards to that view?

Dragon

she is still trying to screw the system and claim for more than she is entitlied to.. yes things are tight with a baby but go without if you cant afford it..

yes she asked for help but i am sorry why should we help he commit fraud???

Perhaps she's got a job :o ;)

It looks like Ilaria actually has a very caring mum (although she may show it in a way Ilaria doesn't understand).

She probably knows that Ilaria will have to return 'home' if she is boxed into a corner. Perahps she feels happier with the baby and her daughter under her own roof where she can keep an eye on them both, which in old money means looking after them or ensuring they come to no harm ;)

no ilaria did not get much advice and probably as not come back on with a lot of comments that have been made with out anyone asking her any more questions about her circumstances, she probably was upset, mad or just embaressed to come back on

and to savbaby saying that she did not tell her to get a job thats what it looked like to me as she answered ilaria when she put down she did not want to leave her baby while 12 months of age she came back with she went to work when her daughter was 6 months old and to stop winging in my eyes looked like she was telling her to get a job

i gave my views that a mother should look after her own child or only left with the father at an early age savbaby was eager to have a go at ilaria but did not like it her self when she was made to feel she was being labled as dumping her daughter and came back to defend herself and i did put in my view that i thought part time was ok to leave a child.

i cant see how savbaby can be better off working if she is only working part time and as to have money made up to help her live when she does not have to do that i understand she does not want to feel abliged to taking money off the dole but being a one parent family she is intitled to it and should not have to work.it can be very tiring to have to work even part time and look after a small child on your own and look after a house. i have worked part time and looked after a house and children even a baby and found it tiring at times and i had a partner.i dont know if the system is any better for part time work but i was working in 1996 21 hours a week husband unemployed 2 children aged 5 and 14 money made up with family credit and i was £16 week worse off than being on dole money but i thought i was sticking it out than have social security on your back all time but i then got mugged coming home at night from work and could not bring myself into going back to work and have not been out at night on my own since.social didnt believe we were £16 week worse off till she did her sums right

I'm sorry, but I do not agree that people should be entitled to have children when they cannot afford to keep them and expect me to pay for them.

i think the general advice was - don' try to rip off the state.
i don't care if she has a job or 3 kids, trying to abuse the benefits system by claiming individual residency sucks,just like people who's partner only stays 3 nights a weekto defraud the system.
if you want to be in relationship or have children be honest & people would be more supportive.

**** you all ******s, and IM NOT A ****ING SCROUNGER.yes i have sorted my life out thank you very much.:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

I'd have a word with Citizens Advice, they will sort you out Ilaria and I hope your situation gets better for you :)

Originally posted by ilaria
**** you all ******s, and IM NOT A ****ING SCROUNGER.yes i have sorted my life out thank you very much.:rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant: :rant:

What an eloquent, pleasant mannered young lady. :roll:

I can't understand people who seem to be convinced that the world owes them a living. If you can't afford to support a child then you shouldn't have one in the first place.

All the swearing and abuse-hurling in the world won't change the fact that the majority of people are fed up with taking on thoughtless selfish people's financial burdens.

Are you really angry because deep down you know all these "******s" have a good point?

ilaria, i know that you are angry with the people who have called you a scrounger, but honestly what kind of response did you expect, for a request for advice on how to get benefits that youre not entitled to!?

Did you really think that the people of Sheffield were going to be happy to help you out with this. Maybe we were going to advise you on a few loopholes so you can blag some more money from the council? Or why dont we just give you money straight from our pocket - that might be quicker.