ive hit a low point in my life, im 20, and life seems really, really boring, every couple a weeks i come to a point were im kinda depressed, i do average things like go to a gym work, have gf, the odd mates, but i feel as though i can do more, am i being silly.. or?

any help appreciated...

either organise a cheap last min hols with some buddies, or do something crazy like rock climbing or learn to dive . or got to rother valley and water ski

Hi Ryan, this is a natural feeling every now and then for us to feel fed up, we all get that way at times. Have you thought what it is that makes you get like that, and what do you think you could do to change the feelings for the better ?

hes prob right, analyse what makes u feel this way b4 u jump to solutions and then it wont happen so much. what r ur triggers etc... what r u unhappy with, or bored with etc...

Originally posted by owdlad
Hi Ryan, this is a natural feeling every now and then for us to feel fed up, we all get that way at times. Have you thought what it is that makes you get like that, and what do you think you could do to change the feelings for the better ?

i dunno really, i think its jus a combination of things, like sometimes like im under achiveing, could do more wi life, regrets n stuff.. n people that i cant trust...

shoulnt worry about under achieving or regrets, they dont change anything
your still you no matter what

i dont have regrets, and i dont care about under achieving, im me and i just go about being me :)

as for friends you cant trust .........**** em, find some new ones :P

There is nothing wrong with regrets. The things we learn to regret are the things we will avoid repeating.

I am sorry but I feel the people who claim they have no regrets (including me at times) are lying to themselves, especially if they believe it.

Accept that you have done things you regret and use that to build upon for a better future.

As for feeling down - yeah! We all feel down at some time, and some of us more than others - depending upon life itself. Getting lost in pass times such as rock climbing may be great but they jsut put off the inevitable return - unless you have the time to run off to a mountain every time you start to fel low.

Sheffield forum is a great tonic for feeling down. Read the posts and get to know the people. Read the funnies - enter the chat room. You may be surprised.

And then there are those times nothing seems to help - like when you are thinking of a partner you have split with in the past and wish you never had. Nothing can help when that happens. Wish there was some miracle cure, but there isn't. When I start feeling that way I chat in the chat room whilst listening to anything that does not contain lyrics such as those in Linkin Park or Rasmus.

Regrets are healthy. Feeling sad is healthy. Pretending they do not happen is denial, and that means you never learn.
Just my 2 pennys worth.

Dragon

Originally posted by ryan123
i dunno really, i think its jus a combination of things, like sometimes like im under achiveing, could do more wi life, regrets n stuff.. n people that i cant trust...

Ryan, who says you are under achieving, is there something, or someone who says that to you? and do you think you are?

Regrets are they related to the under achieving and the people you can't trust, or are they something different and what would you like to do to change things ?

Originally posted by Dragon
There is nothing wrong with regrets. The things we learn to regret are the things we will avoid repeating.

I am sorry but I feel the people who claim they have no regrets (including me at times) are lying to themselves, especially if they believe it.

Accept that you have done things you regret and use that to build upon for a better future.

As for feeling down - yeah! We all feel down at some time, and some of us more than others - depending upon life itself. Getting lost in pass times such as rock climbing may be great but they jsut put off the inevitable return - unless you have the time to run off to a mountain every time you start to fel low.

Sheffield forum is a great tonic for feeling down. Read the posts and get to know the people. Read the funnies - enter the chat room. You may be surprised.

And then there are those times nothing seems to help - like when you are thinking of a partner you have split with in the past and wish you never had. Nothing can help when that happens. Wish there was some miracle cure, but there isn't. When I start feeling that way I chat in the chat room whilst listening to anything that does not contain lyrics such as those in Linkin Park or Rasmus.

Regrets are healthy. Feeling sad is healthy. Pretending they do not happen is denial, and that means you never learn.
Just my 2 pennys worth.

Dragon

i dont regret anything ive ever done.........i really dont, yeah ive done bad things as well as good things, prolly not done as many good things as i shouldve, but id prolly do it exactly the same again

But just cos you would do the same again does not mean you do not regret the things you did. Perhaps it is just an understanding of the term regret.

The bad things you have done - would you do them again regardless of how things may have been better if you could change them to good things?

Sounds like you have regrets but do not accept the generally accepted meaning of the term.

Aside from which - it always seems cool to claim no regrets.

Dragon

Originally posted by Dragon
But just cos you would do the same again does not mean you do not regret the things you did. Perhaps it is just an understanding of the term regret.

The bad things you have done - would you do them again regardless of how things may have been better if you could change them to good things?

Sounds like you have regrets but do not accept the generally accepted meaning of the term.

Aside from which - it always seems cool to claim no regrets.

Dragon

or im just chilled out and get on with my life no matter how it pans out, taking the good with the bad and not giving a flying ****?

in fact ok you win i dont know what the word regret means :)

I did not say you do not know what the word means so no need to get arsy. What I said was that your understanding of the word and mine may be completely different.

Most of us have regrets but still get on with our life no matter what - otherwise we would be dead and not posting in here.

I have regrets but I live my life as best I can - and end up with more but different regrets. For those who feel regrets - it is not a bad thing. It is how we deal with life that is important.

Dragon

Originally posted by ryan123
ive hit a low point in my life, im 20, and life seems really, really boring, every couple a weeks i come to a point were im kinda depressed, i do average things like go to a gym work, have gf, the odd mates, but i feel as though i can do more, am i being silly.. or?

any help appreciated... Try to keep thinking positive mate, there must be something in your life you are happy/proud of ? your still young and you can change your life if you want to, different job - new mates, if your feeling low and a little depressed just look at all your good points, take a look at what you have, job, girlfreind, good health etc. maybe you just feel a little frustrated and you want more from life?? whats stopping you?
Im 35 and im only just starting to turn my life around after a long illness, but as far as im Concerned whats the rush.. the only way is think positive.. i dont think your silly asking this, your just being honest with yourself and thats a good thing.
:thumbsup:

hi kirk ive done it:clap:

Originally posted by Dragon
I did not say you do not know what the word means so no need to get arsy. What I said was that your understanding of the word and mine may be completely different.

Most of us have regrets but still get on with our life no matter what - otherwise we would be dead and not posting in here.

I have regrets but I live my life as best I can - and end up with more but different regrets. For those who feel regrets - it is not a bad thing. It is how we deal with life that is important.

Dragon i agree with dragon, i have regrets many many regrets, but i hope i have always made the right decision when faced with certain problems in life,the main one being putting my mom in a nursing home when i couldnt look after her at home anymore,shes gone now and nothing anyone can say makes it any better,dragon is right,you just have to deal with the ache in your heart ,i say pick yourself up dust yourself down and start all over again.:thumbsup:

Originally posted by owdlad
Ryan, who says you are under achieving, is there something, or someone who says that to you? and do you think you are?

Regrets are they related to the under achieving and the people you can't trust, or are they something different and what would you like to do to change things ?

probs jus cos job bores me, so i go to gym, n i kinda wanna do something wi drama, unused potential i guess?

Originally posted by Dragon
I did not say you do not know what the word means so no need to get arsy. What I said was that your understanding of the word and mine may be completely different.

Most of us have regrets but still get on with our life no matter what - otherwise we would be dead and not posting in here.

I have regrets but I live my life as best I can - and end up with more but different regrets. For those who feel regrets - it is not a bad thing. It is how we deal with life that is important.

Dragon

put it this way
i dont regret never having a passport
i dont regret never having left britain
i dont regret the drugs ive taken
i dont regret being unemployed for 18 or so years

in fact im quite proud of some of those records :)

makes me special

Originally posted by ryan123
probs jus cos job bores me, so i go to gym, n i kinda wanna do something wi drama, unused potential i guess?

Go For it! Join an amateur dramatics society - why not?? :)

Those are jsut a few things out of your life melttheball. And just cos you say you have no regrets now does not mean you never had regrets, or that you will never regret anything.

Accepting that there are ways we would rather things were different is accepting we made mistakes. You never made a mistake M? If you have made mistakes then you have regrets.

Never mind. You be Mr Macho. This is not about me or you - it is about someone who is feeling a bit down.

So Ryan - as you know - these feelings will pass. They will happen again. Nothing to worry about. You do what you do, and the fact you do something is a good thing.

I know most people are better than me at this or that or the other, but the fact I still do what I can is great for me. Stop thinking your life depends on what others think of you. If you do not like your job, stick with it adn look for something better or more to your liking.

Dragon

Originally posted by koritsi
Go For it! Join an amateur dramatics society - why not?? :)

oh i have tried but i jus cant seem to find anything!

thanks dragoon 4 the advice, much appreciated :D

Originally posted by Dragon
Those are jsut a few things out of your life melttheball. And just cos you say you have no regrets now does not mean you never had regrets, or that you will never regret anything.

Accepting that there are ways we would rather things were different is accepting we made mistakes. You never made a mistake M? If you have made mistakes then you have regrets.

Never mind. You be Mr Macho. This is not about me or you - it is about someone who is feeling a bit down.

So Ryan - as you know - these feelings will pass. They will happen again. Nothing to worry about. You do what you do, and the fact you do something is a good thing.

I know most people are better than me at this or that or the other, but the fact I still do what I can is great for me. Stop thinking your life depends on what others think of you. If you do not like your job, stick with it adn look for something better or more to your liking.

Dragon

lol, i only said i didnt have any regrets, it was you that kept saying i should have .................and how the hell can i have regrets if they havent happened yet?

Originally posted by ryan123
oh i have tried but i jus cant seem to find anything!




I thought joining one would be fairly easy...... :0

Do you have hobbies Ryan? You have things you can do better than other people - maybe not everyone, but you do know there are people who cannot do some of the things you can, or not as well as you can. Maybe you should offer to help them?

There are also many people around who feel as bad or worse than you do. Perhaps you can chat with them and help each other out.

Solitude is rarely a good thing so have a few friends keep you occupied. Be creative. As for work - I spent four years in a job that was going no where fast. I finally threw in the towel and went self employed.

The possabilities ahead of you are limited only by you.

Dragon

Originally posted by koritsi
I thought joining one would be fairly easy...... :0
you have to find one before you can join it

To feel regret.

n.
A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone.
A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.


Acknowledging a mistake and learning from it is not the same as regretting it. I'd associate regret with not really having gotten over the issue, still wishing that it could be different isn't accepting it, learning from it and getting on with your life.

Anyway, amateur dramatics, there's at least one in Rotherham, I went to see a friend in jesus christ super star a few months ago. I'm sure google can furnish you with some leads, try "amateur dramatics sheffield/rotherham" and limit it to uk results.

I also disagree about physical activity not being a potential solution. It's proven that activity helps cure depression, and having a hobby gives you both goals and social activity as well as the physical.
I'm sure i'd be a very different person if I hadn't done jiu jitsu for the past 9 years. And even when other things were going to crap I could always go and train for a few hours, forget it all, and then have a beer with friends afterwards.
On the other hand, sometimes the jitsu has gone crap and it's been other areas of my life that helped keep me on the even keel.

apex players (http://apexplayers.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/) am dram group in sheffield. Just the first I found.

It's so sad to feel like that at 20, but it's better than feeling like that at 80. You're 20 years old for God's sake, you can do whatever you want to do, you've got you're whole life ahead of you.

Write a list of all the things you want to do.

Now, imagine you are 80 and frail, what do you regret not doing? OK, now you're 20 again - do not 'not' do things that you know you'll regret whenn you're 80!

Life is about the journey - not the destination.

Life is for the living.

Life is what you make it.

Don't regret it, do something!

Don't be afraid of making mistakes. The only people who never make mistakes are those that don't do anything.

One other thing - human's mess things up, but it takes a computer to totally ***** things up completely!

Do what you want to do, if it doesn't work out - so what? As long as you don't hurt anyone else, do whatever it is that makes you happy.

i live my life by what my signature says,,, i do have many regrets but i have also enjoyed making them :D :D

We each believe what we each have to believe. Having lived with someone going through serious depression and suffering from it myself I go on personal experience and the experience of friends who have gone through the same. Obviously it affects others in different ways.

The thing is that you try hobbies, and for a short while they are fine, but you cannot do them from when you wake up in a morning to when you go to bed. Half the time you do the activity for a short while and then get bored with it and need to find a new one - leaving a trail of half finished projects that will never be completed. You just cannot be bothered to fit that final piece to the jigsaw.

You lay in bed at night thinking, what if, or if only, and you cannot jump up and start doing something. Those are regrets.

What you do is you try to carry on, knowing that you will do things you will regret, and that for a while at least those things will haunt you, but you carry on anyhow, and you find happy moments. Find enough of them and the problems mean less and less.

Just a small point of view and as we are all individuals we are all affected in different ways.

Dragon

Ryan, perhaps you should explore more around the ideas you have of underachieving, what exactly your regrets are and why you can't trust your friends. There might be something there that you can change.

yesterday is history
tomorrow is a mystery
today is the present

thats why they call it a gift

live every day as if it were your last....cause one day you will be right

hi ryan im sorry to hear that your feelin like this i think your just a little depressed and you need to inject some fun into your life friends that you can trust comes with time. i think you really need to have fun some mad crazy fun. Do something that is not a routine thing. Aslo start to do more for for yourself. take time out to sit and thiink about your situation and what aspects your unhappy with then make changes a little at a time. i know it is easier said than done but do a little at a time take your girlfriend on an advernture holiday and mad things youll soon start to feel better i think we all get like this sometimes hun i think your just fed up and need some fun. please let me know how you get on in the futre and good luck

Originally posted by Dragon
We each believe what we each have to believe. Having lived with someone going through serious depression and suffering from it myself I go on personal experience and the experience of friends who have gone through the same. Obviously it affects others in different ways.

The thing is that you try hobbies, and for a short while they are fine, but you cannot do them from when you wake up in a morning to when you go to bed. Half the time you do the activity for a short while and then get bored with it and need to find a new one - leaving a trail of half finished projects that will never be completed. You just cannot be bothered to fit that final piece to the jigsaw.

You lay in bed at night thinking, what if, or if only, and you cannot jump up and start doing something. Those are regrets.

What you do is you try to carry on, knowing that you will do things you will regret, and that for a while at least those things will haunt you, but you carry on anyhow, and you find happy moments. Find enough of them and the problems mean less and less.

Just a small point of view and as we are all individuals we are all affected in different ways.

Dragon

well in that case it's entirely possible to have a life without regrets.
The worst thing I worry about when i go to bed is whether I've locked the door (which I know I have), or more likely i'm planning to buy my next car, thinking about training or teaching, or maybe remembering my last snowboarding holiday and looking forwards to the next one.
Maybe starting a new hobby when you're already depressed isn't the answer, and maybe if you've not found the right one then you will give up, but even if I took a break from jitsu now, it would never be given up, only on hold.

Originally posted by katy1981
hi ryan im sorry to hear that your feelin like this i think your just a little depressed and you need to inject some fun into your life friends that you can trust comes with time. i think you really need to have fun some mad crazy fun. Do something that is not a routine thing. Aslo start to do more for for yourself. take time out to sit and thiink about your situation and what aspects your unhappy with then make changes a little at a time. i know it is easier said than done but do a little at a time take your girlfriend on an advernture holiday and mad things youll soon start to feel better i think we all get like this sometimes hun i think your just fed up and need some fun. please let me know how you get on in the futre and good luck

thanks 4 the advice katie, as it turns out im on holiday to turkey next monday, so should be fun? im sure people know what i mean, i aint depressed or anything i dont think jus that i get fed up with life at times..

Getting fed up with life is a mild form of depression.

Do not see that anything I said in my last post indicates an ability to live life without regrets cyclone. Must be the way I read what I post ;)

Did you know that most of us suffer some form of what is now defined as autism? Differenttopic I know, but this shows that perhaps the understanding we have of terminology should be kept flexible.

Dragon

Originally posted by ryan123
ive hit a low point in my life, im 20, and life seems really, really boring, every couple a weeks i come to a point were im kinda depressed, i do average things like go to a gym work, have gf, the odd mates, but i feel as though i can do more, am i being silly.. or?

any help appreciated...

hey mate, I feel prety similar. A basic feeling of what's the point which I've had ever since I can remember.

It also seems to go hand in hand with the inability to actually do anything about it.

Don't know what to suggest really as I've never really found a way out of it.

Originally posted by Dragon
We each believe what we each have to believe. Having lived with someone going through serious depression and suffering from it myself I go on personal experience and the experience of friends who have gone through the same. Obviously it affects others in different ways.

The thing is that you try hobbies, and for a short while they are fine, but you cannot do them from when you wake up in a morning to when you go to bed. Half the time you do the activity for a short while and then get bored with it and need to find a new one - leaving a trail of half finished projects that will never be completed. You just cannot be bothered to fit that final piece to the jigsaw.

You lay in bed at night thinking, what if, or if only, and you cannot jump up and start doing something. Those are regrets.

What you do is you try to carry on, knowing that you will do things you will regret, and that for a while at least those things will haunt you, but you carry on anyhow, and you find happy moments. Find enough of them and the problems mean less and less.

Just a small point of view and as we are all individuals we are all affected in different ways.

Dragon


You sound like a very wise man from your postings on this thread, Dragon.

StarSparkle

I went through a similar thing while I was at uni. I started feeling really down, as though I had no real purpose and that life was just a drag. I couldn't eat, drink, smoke and had a real hard time sleeping. I'd never suffered from depression before, and seriously didn't understand what depression was until I had it. I dunno what caused it, but I got over it in a few days. It's just a phase, it probably happens to most people at some point in their lives.

Originally posted by Hels
It's so sad to feel like that at 20, but it's better than feeling like that at 80. You're 20 years old for God's sake, you can do whatever you want to do, you've got you're whole life ahead of you.

Write a list of all the things you want to do.

Now, imagine you are 80 and frail, what do you regret not doing? OK, now you're 20 again - do not 'not' do things that you know you'll regret whenn you're 80!

Life is about the journey - not the destination.

Life is for the living.

Life is what you make it.

Don't regret it, do something!

Don't be afraid of making mistakes. The only people who never make mistakes are those that don't do anything.

One other thing - human's mess things up, but it takes a computer to totally ***** things up completely!

Do what you want to do, if it doesn't work out - so what? As long as you don't hurt anyone else, do whatever it is that makes you happy.

do you think you could still do this at 30?

i think another thing it maybe, is i think about things way to much, like a form of paranoia.. i think i need to chill real bad, sometimes i think i wanna do a patrick bateman of american psycho...

RegretsI had a few,But then again too few to mention.I did what I had to do and saw it through without convention.I planned each careful course each careful step along the by way,and more much more than this I did it my way.Something like that anyway.Yes I put my mother in a home,and caused me distress,but I couldnt look after her either.

Originally posted by ryan123
i think another thing it maybe, is i think about things way to much, like a form of paranoia.. i think i need to chill real bad, sometimes i think i wanna do a patrick bateman of american psycho...
What's that then?

Hoegarden, you can do it whatever your age :thumbsup:

We each have some things that make us sad and some things that make us happy.

Depression is something else entirely though, we each have to develop coping strategies in order to get through the bad times.

For me, I sit and think, when i'm old and can't do very much, what will I regret? What will make me smile when I look back on my life?

[QUOTE]Originally posted by ryan123
[B]thanks 4 the advice katie, as it turns out im on holiday to turkey next monday, so should be fun? im sure people know what i mean, i aint depressed or anything i dont think jus that i get fed up with life at times.. [/sorry ryan,i think you are taking the ****,in one breath you say your depressed, another you say your off to turkey,so many people have posted on here with suggestions on how to help you out, with sympathyand understanding.
enjoy yourself in turkey,im sure yuo will have a lot of regrets about going. but hey when you get back we will all be here feeling sorry for you,I THINK NOT.

Originally posted by roughy101
[QUOTE]Originally posted by ryan123
[B]thanks 4 the advice katie, as it turns out im on holiday to turkey next monday, so should be fun? im sure people know what i mean, i aint depressed or anything i dont think jus that i get fed up with life at times.. [/sorry ryan,i think you are taking the ****,in one breath you say your depressed, another you say your off to turkey,so many people have posted on here with suggestions on how to help you out, with sympathyand understanding.
enjoy yourself in turkey,im sure yuo will have a lot of regrets about going. but hey when you get back we will all be here feeling sorry for you,I THINK NOT.

there was no need for this personal attack, the turkey thing was booked a long time ago, im not takin the ****!! i was jus trying to get helpful advice! it was just a feeling i was feeling.. heck i dint even ask people to feel sorry 4me, I THINK SO!

Originally posted by ryan123
ive hit a low point in my life, im 20, and life seems really, really boring, every couple a weeks i come to a point were im kinda depressed, i do average things like go to a gym work, have gf, the odd mates, but i feel as though i can do more, am i being silly.. or?

any help appreciated...

Awww I feel the same (see my posts today about my job) and how to put a spark back in the relationship.....its all gone pete tong! But I know how you feel mate. x

i seem to be sat dishing out advice on this forum, when really im not much good at it, so take what i say with a pinch of salt, but hey im bored, so your gonna get useless wisdom now...


i see life like a movie, i try to distance myself from problems sometimes, i think id like my life to be more of a romantic comedy, but i suppose its more like a boring documentary.

i think we need to think of things to spice life up a bit, get a bit of excitement, stuff to look forward too, time flys when your having fun etc, but i also think that it doesnt come to you, you have to almost work for your happiness, make good things happen, i guess your fate lies in your hands.

Low points are usually triggered by some thing. every body no matter how strong you think they show them self to be have low points too.

either regrets or something in your life is making you feel like this i too suffer low points real low points where some times i think its not worth living. but i usually think what would that atchive its not going to make you be able to prove any thing what ever is bothering you, You need to get it out talk to some one may be you could talk to some one who you dont know too good so they have no prejudgement of your situation or what it is that makes you feel so low.

regrets are something every one as it only takes a song or something to remind you of it and your mind works over time but really you should stay posertive about it cos you wont find a future by fixing the past thats in a song but it so true the past is the past and you cant change it so live for now.

i have made so many wrong choices in life and sometimes i feel like the whole world is caving in but there is always something if you look for it that will supprise the life out of you in a good way all you have to do is look around you and get on with it you have many more corners to go round and you wont get them all right but you have one shot at life so do the best you can. That way you will be able to say at least i did things my way there is only one person you can make sure is ok sounds selfish but thats you cos you live this life not any one else they have there own. I am not saying dont think about others but dont let them decide what you do, if you dont want to do it then dont do it!!

Iam sure soon you will feel much better cos we as humans have a funny way of getting through no matter how big the problem we get through what we have to just take it easy and do your best!!

well thats kinda long but really i know how you feel hope you can sort it out!!!!

Originally posted by ryan123
ive hit a low point in my life, im 20, and life seems really, really boring, every couple a weeks i come to a point were im kinda depressed, i do average things like go to a gym work, have gf, the odd mates, but i feel as though i can do more, am i being silly.. or?

any help appreciated...

Read books, if you watch TV (wich you should cut down on) then watch documentaries, Socialise with people, if you have a games machine throw it away, start a new hobby, take up a class at night school or somthing, drink less alchol, go for walks....

soon you'll find yourself looking forwards and you wont feel depressed because you either wont have the time, or you'll find a constant urge to expand you own thinking power. You see one cause of depession comes from allowing 20th and 21st century technology to oppress your thinking power, your brain is probably the most powerfull tool you'll ever own and you must use it.

I won't mention about Rap music again on this thread :D , but things like day time TV, Soaps and reality programmes really screw you up and they should come with a goverment health warning. The same goes for games machines they should be categorised with class-A drugs.