Those of you with siblings or close relies, would you
grass on them if they were commiting benifit fraud?
Say if they murdered someone or did someone horrific
it wouldn't take much debating you would phone the cops,
but something like seems different. I dunno why.

It all seems such a joke, and the various relatives of mine
are just taking the p***. First they started to ask to borrow
£10 here and there, now they want to use relatives credit cards
and pay them back when they can. Phft, thats a laugh. All they
spend the cash on seems to be alcohol, eating out, or day trips.

So annoying.

I know if I did say anything I'd be the black sheep of the family,
even though everyone else is fed up with it just as much as me.
Plus, if they did get fined or whatever, someone else would end up
paying it for them, like parents etc. Tragic.


So, whats your take on this?

I never lend money to relatives, they always asume they don't have to pay it back (the old, "but you earn a fortune" line). I just say I'm skint, sorry.

I don't think blood is thicker than water at all. My parents don't have anything to do with me at all because they don't like my boyf (they don't even know him and I've been with him 7 years). They've never seen their grandchildren and we all live in Sheffield.

I'm also "the black sheep" even though all I now do is make handcrafted cards and look after my children (ooooooh how naughty of me). My bro is a lazy layabout who doesn't get out of bed, I have a binge drinking sister and another one who poses nude for cash. And I'm the bad guy?!

After all this time it's safe to say that there won't be any reconciliation which suits me I have to say.

I've met complete strangers who I get on with better. You can't choose your family unfortunately. I would be heartbroken if any of my kids ever felt this way about me when they were older.

I guess it depends how close you are to your family. To me they are the most important thing in the world. I am very close to all of my immediate family - particularly my sisters.

If they ever commited a crime, did anything wrong, needed help in anyway then I would be 100% behind them. I may not always agree with or like what they do but my love for them is unconditional.

Blood is thicker than water but only up to a point. In the past my brother was a bad lad and managed to defraud my bank account to the tune of £1500 and also use my name when questioned by police landing me with 9 court summons.

I had no compunction in giving his name up to the police in both matters.

it's difficult isn't it.

If a relative of mine started committing benefit crime, i'd first ask them to stop, and if that didn't happen i'd either have to cut them off completely or report them for their own good.

Fortunately it's unlikely to ever happen as all my family work hard.

The hotline can be contacted in the following ways: • on line by completing the report a cheat online form.
• by phone in confidence on 0800 854440
• people with speech or hearing problems using a textphone can dial 0800 3280512.

http://www.targetingbenefitfraud.gov.uk/report.html

I personally DO think blood is thicker than water. I wouldnt grass my close relatives up for anything INCLUDING murder, dependingonwho it was that was murdered, but thats just me.

I think blood is thicker than water because I am close to my family. I would probably not grass about something such as benefit fraud and to be honest I would have to think very carefully about it for something like murder. But this is my closest family I am talking about. I have an Auntie who does just cause lots of problems for the family and I have as little to do with her as possible. The contact I do have with the Auntie is entirely for my Mum's benefit who would get a tongue lashing from this Auntie at the slightest provocation. My Mum doesn't feel able to exclude her sister from her life.

It does sound, thestruggle, like your family are just taking the P*** though. I think as far as money is concerned I would not be lending any more to anyone.

Not in my case either..

The only Family I see is my sister, parents, gran (Mansfield) & gramps (Bridlington).. The others can go whistle, I don't have anything to do with my cousins or uncles on my dad's side and rarely see relatives on my mum's side and yes, its through choice..

I've never looked back and don't even give them a second thought, harsh maybe but its a conflict of personality between us all..

Blood is thicker than water, no matter how well (or not) you get on with your family, the tie is always there.

Friends on the other hand can be much more supportive, we choose our friends, so we are more likely to choose people who we get along with, have fun with and support each other.

Family, despite the ties can be nasty, unsupportive and be very much like the people we would least choose as friends, but they are still family. Whether that means much to some people is debateable. The tie is there in law (for example if you and a sibling were the only people left in your family, and your sibling died without leaving a will, then you would automatically inherit their estate - I think). The same does not happen with friends, no matter how close.

I've had people in my family rip me off, more than once. I don't have anything to do with them, but they're still family.

As for money, I once read a book where this guy gave his daughter advice - never lend or borrow money. If someone you know needs money, and you have it to give, then give it if you want to, but don't loan it as loans only lead to arguments.

If someone in my family commited a crime would I report them? Not sure, I think if it was something major (not that I can see it ever happening) and I knew they were guilty I would talk to them and try to get them to hand themselves in. I find it very difficult to lie, so if the police came and asked me directly about something then I would have to tell the truth.

I think it varies for me depending on how close the relatives are. I'm not talking about how genetically close we are or anything like that but how involved with my life they are. I have to say I am ridiculously close to my immediate family and while I'd feel bad about doing so, I could never betray them, no matter how in the wrong they were.

As for my auntie her children and grandchildren and various other cousins I have (now thought to be 20+) it really depends on how often I see them. I'm closer to them since my uncle's death because as a clan it has brought us into contact much more and made us realise we should stick together. Many of us will never see eye to eye and my little family unit will always be the odd ones out from the group but that working class solidarity (to use a stereotype) is probably always going to be there.

Wilf

You can't chose your family, but you can chose how much you give to them in terms of self.

Personally I have a couple of difficult family members and quite a few close and loveing friends, so I'd say that blood isn't necessarily thicker than water.

There is often a lot of guilt tied up in the way you feel about your family, particularly if your family circumstances are less than ideal, but I'd argue you should never compromise yourself or your beliefs for them, unless it's of your own free will.

Originally posted by spyro2000
I wouldnt grass my close relatives up for anything INCLUDING murder, dependingonwho it was that was murdered, but thats just me.

And you could live with that ?? Im just curious :)

Originally posted by Deejay
And you could live with that ?? Im just curious :)

No I probably couldnt live with it, and hope I never find myself in that position.

Lets say for example my mother killed someone that I dont know. Yes it would be terrible, but I wouldnt grass her up. I wouldnt want to see my own Mother behind bars no matter what she did. could you do it?

I have a very small family and there is a large age gap. I'd do anything for one set of cousins (however they are in Oz and have more money than me) and I hardly ever see the others but again they are way older than me.

Most of my other relatives apart from my mum and dad are dead. And the ones who are left I only see on special occasions.

As an only child I've never really done much family stuff.

I owe a lot to my parents but that is about it.

Originally posted by spyro2000
Lets say for example my mother killed someone that I dont know. Yes it would be terrible, but I wouldnt grass her up. I wouldnt want to see my own Mother behind bars no matter what she did. could you do it?

To be honest mate I don't know.. If I did it would be the hardest decision of my life..

I guess we'd never know unless put in the situation..