SYorksDeano
24-10-2009, 20:23
A major hurricane (Hurricane Shazza) and earthquake
measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Sheffield in the
early hours of Saturday with its epicentre in Parson Cross.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering
"Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30
worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and
the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Hallam FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused
and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with
the fact that something interesting had happened in
Parson Cross.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of
5 said, "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into
my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next
morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected
and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000
crates of Lambrini to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and
have found large quantities of personal belongings,
including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at
Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels
for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this
disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all
the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
Ice cream
Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family
of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those
affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in
raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
"Manor" said the girl, "woss that gotta
do wiv you?
measuring 5.8 on the Richter Scale hit Sheffield in the
early hours of Saturday with its epicentre in Parson Cross.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering
"Faaackinell".
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30
worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and
the Costa Del Sol were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.
Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived.
Hallam FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused
and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with
the fact that something interesting had happened in
Parson Cross.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of
5 said, "It was such a shock, my little
Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into
my bedroom crying. My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and
Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking
when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next
morning."
Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected
and carried on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000
crates of Lambrini to the area to help the stricken locals.
Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and
have found large quantities of personal belongings,
including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at
Argos and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels
for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this
disaster.
Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:
Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all
the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
Microwave meals
Tins of baked beans
Ice cream
Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family
of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those
affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in
raspberry alco-pop.
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked,
"Manor" said the girl, "woss that gotta
do wiv you?