I think people take advantage of my placid nature.... what do you think?

This morning I am stressed due to the fact that I am having carpets fitted on Wednesday, before which I have rather a lot of decorating to do. My other half rolled in a 8am this morning after a big night out and crashed out which means I have to look after/ entertain the kids instead of decorating (as I'm writing this I have one clambering over me for attention). I cancelled a night out with a friend on Friday as I know I have so much to do before Wednesday.

Yesterday I did a favour for a friend which ended up taking much longer than it should have done, which meant I had to wolf my lunch down before taking my son to the cinema as arranged. I couldn't relax at all as I had been rushing around so much.

My neighbour had a clear out and filled up my recycling bins which I had only just emptied.

A friend phoned up last night to tell me about her wonderful holiday. She asked me how I was but wasn't interested in the fact that I feel 'washed out' or why. She kept talking not letting me say anything. She kept saying 'I'm waffling on and not letting you say anything'- and still not letting me say anything!

Is this what friendship is about? If so, when do I get a break? Surely I'm due one by now!!!!

I could go on but I will save it for my counsellor tomorrow:(

Some people find it really hard to say no. You just seem like one of those people. You go on and on doing what you think is best and putting up with other people, not wanting to see them put out or stressed having little regard for your own well being.

I think the generally accepted term 'friend' refers to someone who will call on you for help, but will let you know they are grateful when you do help them, and they will not keep coming back for more and more. Friends will see that you are stressed and try to help in return.

You can only take so much before you break, and the thing is that you need to make sure it is not your kids who suffer for it, as can be the case.

Just learn to say 'No'. One day I will also be taking my own advice ;)

No-one should be a doormat for anyone.

Dragon

OMG we have the same life! I am hearing you loud and clear and have had years of this. I got into a pattern of playing the put upon friend / girlfriend / Mum / Sister etc etc etc, which just makes it worse for yourself.

It's time to toughen up and go and do something just for yourself that has NOTHING to do with anyone else you know.

I was SO desperate about 3 weeks ago that I even joined a forum and met up with some total strangers! :hihi:

Really though, take some time out NOW before you start resenting everyone too much and it destroys relationships & friendships. EVERYONE needs some time out (as I just realised myself). Get out and have a bit of fun. And don't follow with your list of ready-made excuses (I have those too) - just do it! NOW! GO!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx

oh quit complaining and get making your mans lunch :heyhey:

Originally posted by Robbie_Lovin
oh quit complaining and get making your mans lunch :heyhey:





...........waits for the cheeky robster to get jumped on from a great height! :rolleyes:

Sadly, it made me laugh tho. :blush:

stand up for yourself a little bit more Hatter.
Tell your SO to do his share, tell your friend to shut up (although she was probably just on a high about her holiday) and tell your neighbour to empty the damn bin as it's not his/hers.

Damn right Cyclone!


Hatter......have a right good strop in an indignant (not mad) and wholly justified way. If people regard you as a little unpredictable they're less likely to trespass on your good nature and more likely to start giving you a helping hand when you need it, instead of thinking you can cope alone.

Besides......there's no finer feeling than making someone nervous when you give 'em the dead eye!

;)

stop thinking about others and put you and your kids 1st, im a lot like you, just cant say no to helping others but when the time comes for us to need help , who's there for us. and 1 day ile take my own advice too...:thumbsup:

Originally posted by hatter
I think people take advantage of my placid nature.... what do you think?

This morning I am stressed due to the fact that I am having carpets fitted on Wednesday, before which I have rather a lot of decorating to do. My other half rolled in a 8am this morning after a big night out and crashed out which means I have to look after/ entertain the kids instead of decorating (as I'm writing this I have one clambering over me for attention). I cancelled a night out with a friend on Friday as I know I have so much to do before Wednesday.

Yesterday I did a favour for a friend which ended up taking much longer than it should have done, which meant I had to wolf my lunch down before taking my son to the cinema as arranged. I couldn't relax at all as I had been rushing around so much.

My neighbour had a clear out and filled up my recycling bins which I had only just emptied.

A friend phoned up last night to tell me about her wonderful holiday. She asked me how I was but wasn't interested in the fact that I feel 'washed out' or why. She kept talking not letting me say anything. She kept saying 'I'm waffling on and not letting you say anything'- and still not letting me say anything!

Is this what friendship is about? If so, when do I get a break? Surely I'm due one by now!!!!

I could go on but I will save it for my counsellor tomorrow:( Oh, dear, How difficult it is to say no to friends and people that we like/love! I want to be liked by my friends too who are not BTW users but the more you do for them, the more that is expectected of you and then they seem to stop appreciating you. You are always there, someone to rely on. Although, people who are true friends will be ther for you. One day you will need help from your friends and they will be there in a shot. Some people have great difficulty expressing emotions. They do appreciate you but can't say so. Give them some credit and give them a chance to recipricate - you sound like a good person and there for when you, need help, it will be waiting for on your doorstep x

Next time your Partner does something like that when you have somuch tocontend with.......leave his belongings on the doorstep! HArsh, but after a few occasions he will get the picture.

Tell your friends that you have a lot on at the moment and you will get back to them, they will probably ask what and offer to lend a hand.

Unless people know how you feel they will assume everything is Ok.

Thanks for the advice- it takes a lot to push me into a strop, but when I do I can be quite scary (so I've been told!). I'm going to take the kids to the Osgathorpe One Love festival today- everything else can wait:cool:

Don't let him get away with that....make him pay - buy shoes :)

Originally posted by Internetowl
Don't let him get away with that....make him pay - buy shoes :)

I AM LOVING THIS PIECE OF ADVICE! :thumbsup: :clap: