I have devised a simple test to check how stressed you might be. There is no scientific basis for this stress test - it's just for fun. Have a pen ready to add up your scores as you answer the following ten questions....

Q1. Check your key ring. Are there any keys you don’t recognise?

I know what all my keys will open. Score = 0
There are 1 or 2 keys I’m unsure about. Score = 2
There are 3 or more keys I’m unsure about. Score = 5
I don’t know what the majority of my keys will open. Score = 10

Q2. At the supermarket you join a fairly long queue at the checkout for less than 10 items.

Do you patiently wait your turn whilst starting the crossword in your newspaper to kill time? Score = 0
Do you mentally add up the number of items in the basket of the person in front of you? Score = 2
Do you politely tell the person in front of you that the checkout is for baskets only and that as they have a trolley they are in the wrong queue? Score = 5
Do you dump your shopping basket in the trolley of the person in front of you and march out of the supermarket? Score = 10

Q3. You accept an invitation to stay the weekend with a relative. Whilst using the loo do you –

Ignore the fact that the loo roll hangs the opposite way to how you hang your loo roll at home? Score = 0
Mention this seemingly interesting observation to your relative? Score = 2
Suggest to your relative that it is in fact easier to tear the loo paper by hanging it the other way round? Score = 5
Take the loo roll off the holder and hang it the other way round? Score = 10

Q4. On a visit to a supermarket, parking spaces are difficult to locate, but you find an empty space eventually. You then observe a childless couple parking in the parent and child zone.

Do you enter the supermarket without a second thought? Score = 0
Do you say to your companion ‘Now why didn’t I think of that?’ Score = 2
Do you speak loudly to your companion and within earshot of this couple about people who park inconsiderately? Score = 5
Do you point out the ‘Parent & Child’ sign to this couple and suggest they move their car before you inform the Manager? Score = 10

Q5. A neighbour has a son who seems to enjoy revving his car engine most Sunday afternoons. One day you notice his tax disc has expired.

Do you walk on by and think nothing more of it? Score = 0
Do you leave an anonymous note on the windscreen? Score = 2
Do you have a polite word with the neighbour? Score = 5
Do you ring up the DVLA at Swansea and shop the annoying little git? Score = 10

Q6. Your partner has invited friends and their two children round for a barbecue on Saturday. You’ve always considered these kids to be badly behaved.

Do you discuss with your partner whether to barbecue chicken, chops, sausages or all three? Score = 0
Do you secretly hope it will rain all day and thus have to cancel the barbecue? Score = 2
Do you tell your partner to ring the friends back and cancel the barbecue with any excuse? Score = 5
Do you go ahead with the barbecue but deliberately cook the meat to a blackened cinder? Score = 10

Q7. Whilst trying to contain a headache, you lie down on the settee to rest. Your children rush in from the garden demanding to be fed.

Do you get up from the settee and cook something light for their meal? Score = 0
Do you point them towards the kitchen and suggest they feed themselves? Score = 2
Do you explain your need to rest awhile and that you’ll fix a meal for them in about an hour? Score = 5
Do you have mental imagines of Jack Nicholson in ‘The Shining’ and go in search of a large knife? Score = 10

Q8. It’s raining hard and the people at your bus stop crowd together under the shelter. Then someone lights a cigarette.

Do you move furthest distance away from the smoker? Score = 0
Do you loudly start coughing, wheezing and patting your chest? Score = 2
Do you bring to the attention of the smoker the ‘No Smoking Sign’ pasted on the shelter? Score = 5
Do you ‘accidently’ jostle the smoker out of the shelter just as a lorry passes by and secretly gloat when they get drenched from being splashed? Score = 10

Q9. Whilst posting on a SF thread, you’re getting irritated by little asides from another poster which detract from what is a very interesting debate.

Do you put the poster on your Ignore list? Score = 0
Do you PM the poster and explain that their behaviour is unhelpful? Score = 2
Do you report the poster to the Mods on the grounds that their contributions to the discussion add nothing at all to the debate? Score = 5
Do you post on the thread that the poster is clearly an imbecile and should be posting on some other thread in the I’m Bored section? Score = 10
Do you then edit your post for good measure to point out that they also can’t spell? Score = an extra 20!

Q10 It’s been a tiring day and you’ve got to be up early in the morning. It’s 2.00am and you’re suddenly woken by the sound of an owl hooting from a tree across the road.

Do you find some ear plugs in the medicine cabinet and go back to sleep? Score = 0
Do you get up; find your binoculars and that Book on Birds to check if it is a long-eared owl, a tawny owl or a barn owl? Score = 2
Do you open the window and start flapping an item of clothing to get the bird to fly away? Score = 5
Do you find a catapult, open the window and aim directly at this obnoxious creature that’s disturbing your sleep? Score = 10

Now add up your total scores and check out how stressed you are.

Scores

O-10 = Hardly anything stresses you at all. This is bad news. You are far too placid, and will allow anyone and anything to walk all over you. You’d even apologise to the driver of a steam roller if it flattened you in the street. You need to change your attitude. Start by writing letters to the newspaper signed “Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’.

10-30 = You are inwardly containing your stress, and this isn’t good for you - as you lack determination to properly resolve stressful issues that confront you. You need to relieve your stressful experiences in a more direct way. Begin by donning a uniform and holding a clipboard at the supermarket Parent & Child parking bay. If sheltering at a bus stop when someone starts smoking, you should retaliate by passing wind.

30-50 = You are a well-balanced individual who knows that a certain amount of stress in life is a consequence of daily living and is actually good and healthy for you. You do not allow stressful situations to undermine your confidence or ability to handle the occasional difficulties that come your way. You are well adjusted to cope with most stressful situations in a calm and rational manner.

50-70 = You too often go over the top in a stressful situation. You are in danger of a heart attack if you don’t learn to calm down and stop over-reacting. If staying with your Aunt Maisie and the loo roll is hanging the ‘wrong’ way, why get stressed about it? You need to get stress into proportion - after all, your dear aunt isn’t asking you to use the loo roll to wipe her backside for her!

70-90 = You are constantly stressed out most of the time, even over the smallest inconsequential issue. This is very unhealthy. Do yoga exercises or Pilates and learn to breathe from the diaphragm. Step back when experiencing stress and count to ten. Admit it - you really did edit your SF post to accuse that irritating poster of not being able to spell!

90-120 Go and see your doctor immediately! You need an urgent prescription for Temazepam! And put down that catapult! And do not go anywhere near the kitchen knife drawer – ever!

I scored 36 robbo that's not bad is it? IS IT?:rant:
Just kidding with you :hihi:

I scored 36 robbo that's not bad is it? IS IT?:rant:
Just kidding with you :hihi:

You're completely sane anyway Joto! :)

(Just kidding you :hihi:)

What's your score then ash? I know your looking at this thread right now!

Thanks for that....I now know I have a split personality! :suspect: Some Days it would be the last scenario :o....most days the first!! well...that's my story! :hihi:

Scored a zero I'm afraid. Life's too short to get stressed.

you need to learn to add up when setting a quiz how do you get 120 points when there is only ten questions scoring ten points max 10x10=100 not 120:hihi:oops my mistake didnt see the add 20 bit

mmmmm, 27 points :confused:

you need to learn to add up when setting a quiz how do you get 120 points when there is only ten questions scoring ten points max 10x10=100 not 120:hihi:

Think its YOU that needs to learn to add up :roll::roll::hihi: