Somewhere in my mid-thirties, I grew out of being lazy. Perhaps it was due to the realisation I was already half way through my alloted three-score-and-ten, and had better get on with doing something a little more productive in my spare time than staring out of the window. So it is with some shame that I offer an example of my former slothful conduct....

At the age of thirteen, sick of having to get dressed for school, I hit upon the idea of going to bed in my uniform (complete with shoes and tie). I must have reasoned I could spend another five minutes asleep if all I had to do on waking up was walk downstairs, eat my breakfast, pick up my satchel and go to school. I remember getting into bed on the opening night of this great experiment, and lying there thinking what a clever soul I was (few teenage boys had even the flimsiest grasp of personal hygiene in the 'seventies). The key to what I imagined would be the success of this venture were the new-fangled sta-press trousers I was sporting. No amount of teenage er, tossing and turning would ruffle their perfectly crisp creases (presumably because they were fabricated from some unearthly fusion of terylene, nylon and fibreglass).

Uncannily, it seemed to me at the time, my mother knew exactly what I was doing (or, more to the point, not bothering to do), despite sitting several rooms away in front of the TV, eating biscuits and laughing her head off at the Dick Emery Show, or whatever it was. Before I had time to fall asleep, she materialised at the foot of my bed and ordered me to remove my school uniform and throw it in an untidy heap on the floor, like any normal school boy - or words to that effect.

Welcome to my reality.

I'm lazy EVERY day. Suppose I should grow out of it soon - I just can't be arsed - yet.

I learnt to drive

I don't walk ANYWHERE now

Originally posted by IanMitchell
I learnt to drive

I don't walk ANYWHERE now

I caught that disease too...

Its now called DJ cabs...

Originally posted by Deejay
I caught that disease too...

Its now called DJ cabs...

Yeah, my condition is called "Petrol Legs".

Originally posted by BoroughGal
Yeah, my condition is called "Petrol Legs".

I have a lotion for that :heyhey:

Thank you so much for your kind offer, Deej (as always), however, I don't know that I want them curing.... I like them that way....

Originally posted by Deejay
I caught that disease too...

Its now called DJ cabs...

You can give me a lift to the next meet then :hihi:

Oh dear, perhaps my 'lazy days' are not yet behind me. There is a newsagents less than two minutes walk from my front door. I usually drive there and back for a few pints of milk etc. Parking is tricky - the complete round trip often lasts ten minutes. It is uphill all the way, though.

Er, that's to say, it's uphill as far as the shop, the return leg is downhill, obviously. I don't live in an MC Escher drawing!

Laziest thing iv ever done is stayed in bed all day even though there was nothing wrong with me- i just felt like staying in my nice... warm... comfy bed....

RIGHT on that note i think im going to get in it now

Don't know about ever but I couldn't be bothered to make myself something proper for tea just now so I've eaten a tin of prunes - out of the tin - with a spoon :thumbsup:



Looking forward to morning now. :o

Sometime not so very long ago, i could not be arsed to get dressed and spent about 3 days in my jimjams... :D
my way of cooking was microwave ready meal....:D
or slow cook tin of soup...:suspect:
once upon a wet day when all the washing was hung on the Rotary Airer and it started to rain, i just could not be arsed to take it all off and bring it in.....so i closed the airer like an umbrella and put it all in the shed..

But i had to go and spoil things and get a gym membership, and now i hate doing nothing:D : and can now cook as daughter helps:hihi:

its a bloke thing....:P

When I was Between 12 and 14, I used to go to the old hillsborough baths in the school holidays and it was really cheap for school pupils 15p?. But the sessions only lasted around 45 mins. So we had to get out, go outside into the queue and go in again. One time I kept my swimming trunks on under my jeans after I got out because I couldn't be bothered to take them off and towel myself down.

Later on the way home I suffered with a wet arse, and a bit of nappy rash afterwards, ( what a twerp ) :loopy:

one of my old housemates once rang me whilst I was in the living room to put the kettle on. he was upstairs.

oh, and when I was at uni a few people when asked to make a cofee would make the most disgusting one imaginable so you'd never ask again.

laziest thing ive ever done? without a doubt would be




my

ex wife.........................

Sat through an episode of Eastenders because I couldn't find the TV remote.

Many fine contributions! Are you aware, Kirsty, that Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys once 'lived' in bed more-or-less continually for a least three months in the early 'seventies (some accounts have it at anything between three and six years, but this is surely journalistic 'license'). Hello again Don! I've never tried prunes 'au naturelle', but have occasionally scoffed cold baked beans straight from the tin as a (somewhat hopeful) hangover cure.

Madowl, you are a man after my own heart. I had an old zig-zag type clothes drier outside (until it finally disintegrated) and more than once dragged it into the basement while it was festooned with my wet washing, somehow unable to deal with it in any other way.

Had someone nailed planks over your housemate's door as a prank, Robbie? And Muddy, don't berate yourself for your swimming trunks scheme - at least you could be bothered to get dressed again, I'd have joined the queue in my trunks! Twiglet - whatever the circs, anyone who can sit through an entire episode of Eastenders deserves a knighthood, in my opinion. And Depoix.......what can I say, except that I too have an ex-wife who was several light years away from being even mildly animated, except when she got drunk, which, in fairness, tended to bring out the best in her.

I remember once I caught a bus all the way to the terminus and back again, just so I could get off at the right side of the road. Couldnt be bothered to cross the road :D

Originally posted by LordSnooty
What's The Laziest Thing You've Ever Done?I've MSNed the housemate downstairs asking him to put the kettle on for me.

Believe it or not, I know a man (Sheffield's most boring man, to be precise - I dive into the nearest shop/hide behind lampposts whenever I see him) who was lazy enough to fall asleep while 'on the job' with his long-suffering partner. A cruel irony, since the poor woman must struggle to keep awake whenever he opens his mouth.

This thread appeals to my true nature...

When I was at school I had to wear a tie but I couldn't tie it correctly. My mother tried to show me how, but I couldn't be bothered listening so she devised a 'slip knot' way of fastening it which meant I could just loosen it and pull it over my head. After a while I tired of wearing a tie altogether so I simply got my mother to buy me a round neck jumper instead of a v-neck. The teachers by this time had tired of my arguing my way out of everything so they let me wear my own interpretation of uniform.

One of my favourite things to do was lie in bed all day as a teenager. Unfortunately my mother used to be able to see my bedroom window from work and would come home in her tea break if I hadn't opened the curtains. I got wise to this and used to get up and open them and then go back to sleep until she got home at 3.

I've been known to do the ironing sitting down, and have a stool in the kitchen so I can sit down while cooking, because stirring food in a pan is soo tiring. If a TV or Hi-fi has no remote, a long stick comes in handy for operating the controls, just don't drop it or you'll have to get up. ;)

One of my favourite animals is the Sloth, an animal so wonderfully idle that it would sometimes rather die than crawl to the next branch to eat some leaves.

every day i have to work from home - to save brewing a cuppa. i drive 10mins to a drive thru for a coffee.

Originally posted by Kirsty_87
Laziest thing iv ever done is stayed in bed all day even though there was nothing wrong with me- i just felt like staying in my nice... warm... comfy bed....

RIGHT on that note i think im going to get in it now

A like minded individual... *snoozes*

Originally posted by Captain_Scarlet
I've MSNed the housemate downstairs asking him to put the kettle on for me.

when i was a student we used to phone each other in the mornings from ours rooms to see if each other was up and going in that day.

i've also had several text conversations with my housemate when we are both in our bedrooms.

so lazy. but i blame modern technology.

Originally posted by Captain_Scarlet
I've MSNed the housemate downstairs asking him to put the kettle on for me.

I've actually texted a housemate downstairs before, demanding to be brought a cup of tea because I couldn't be arsed to move (he did!)

Originally posted by KookyKoo
I've actually texted a housemate downstairs before, demanding to be brought a cup of tea because I couldn't be arsed to move (he did!)
I can top both of those.

When I was living in a student house on Store Street (off Queens Road), one of my housemates texted another for a cup of tea.

The thing was that the guy sending the text was lounging in an armchair by the kitchen door and the guy he texted was upstairs!

Needless to say the texted housemate came down and made the requested cup of tea.

Originally posted by Carmine
I can top both of those.

When I was living in a student house on Store Street (off Queens Road), one of my housemates texted another for a cup of tea.

The thing was that the guy sending the text was lounging in an armchair by the kitchen door and the guy he texted was upstairs!

Needless to say the texted housemate came down and made the requested cup of tea.

LMAO! Genius! Can't believe he came and did it though, that is lazy!

Mathom- a long stick to operate TV controls- when we were younger, my friend Tom had just such a thing, it was called Biggus Stickus, and I don't think any remote control ever since has compared!

Originally posted by KookyKoo
LMAO! Genius! Can't believe he came and did it though, that is lazy!
I don't think the guy made one cup of tea in all the time we were living with him...we still see him a lot after uni and he's capable of astonishing feats of sloth to this day!:thumbsup:

i never used to make a cup of tea,once while at my sons he asked " dad how many sugars do you take "? " dunno,ask your mother" i replied :banana:

Originally posted by Mathom
When I was at school I had to wear a tie but I couldn't tie it correctly. My mother tried to show me how, but I couldn't be bothered listening so she devised a 'slip knot' way of fastening it which meant I could just loosen it and pull it over my head. After a while I tired of wearing a tie altogether so I simply got my mother to buy me a round neck jumper instead of a v-neck. The teachers by this time had tired of my arguing my way out of everything so they let me wear my own interpretation of uniform.


Ah yes. That'll be the Windsor knot. It's both tidy and slidey, so the wearer needs tie the tie just once. Each evening they can slip it large enough to go over the head and hey presto, labour saved. My school foiled my Windsor knot lethargy by giving me half colours, then full colours, followed by a Prefectship. While many establishments dole out badges for this kind of aggrandisement mine did it the posh way - with ties. Bummer.

But that was then. Nowadays, I just can't be arsed to think what was the laziest thing I might have ever done...

Nowadays, I am a hyperkinetic ball of creativity. However, in my late twenties [I am now 43] I went through a most shameful period of bone-idleness and slack-jawed loafing about. Once, I hired a taxi to collect and deliver a newspaper from the newsagent. The shop was roughly six doors away. That must surely take some beating?!

Another favourite idler trick of mine - when I was down at the bus station or train station and I wanted to go up the hill, I used to go into Hallam Uni (it was the Poly back then) and take the lift up to the main floor, and then stroll off to the shops without having to strain my lungs in any way.

Someone I used to know never used to use saucepans because she hated washing up. She would take tinned food, remove the lids and labels and then just shove them in the oven. When cooked, she would eat the contents straight from the tin.

Like a lot of people I hated homework and didn't do any if I could get away with it. After so many years I got tired of making up excuses and forging my mother's handwriting to produce elaborate 'excuse notes'. One day a teacher asked me why I hadn't done my homework and I honestly answered "I couldn't be bothered", which was accepted calmly as a reason.

I used to hate washing my clothes so much that I would wear them until they noticeably stank, then shove the offending items into the corner of my room, before going out and buying some new clothes which I'd wear until they stank and I'd have to throw them onto the ever growing pile in the corner of my room, which would force me to visit the shops once more, and so on, and so on...

I started to change my ways after a few weeks of living on my landing due to there being no available floor space in my bedroom.

Tubthump, I'm afraid I am guilty of a similar sin - only more so. When I was a student, I used to go to jumble sales with my housemates and buy a complete gentleman's wardrobe for 32p (including some fantastic suits). So cheap was the clobber, I treated it as 'disposable', that is, I too threw it into festering heaps around my bedroom. I never bothered washing or laundering anything; I would simply recharge my wardrobe at the next jumble sale...

Speaking of suits, I hatched a scheme for appearing smartly turned out when wearing a nice white cotton shirt with a jacket. I would iron only the area visible when the jacket was unbuttoned, and leave the rest in a lunar landscape stylee. I don't ever remember having to remove my jacket unexpectedly, so in this respect my labour-saving scheme was a dazzling success. I don't feel so great about it now, however........

By the way, my trawls through the jumble sales of the north-west of england always seemed to yield a sizable catch of 'dead man's pants'. That is, giant, thick, white cotton dreadnaughts which start just below your knees and end just below your armpits. My girlfriend at the time (unfathomably, I had one), used to try and reassure me that my dead man's pants looked 'unworn'. But, I have to tell you, there were.........there were............well....... stains. Not poo stains, exactly, more like stains of habitation, like the Turin Shroud.

I don't wear them no more.

Both my primary and secondary schools were literally a five minute walk away from my house, and I was nearly always late. This has carried on into my working life, where I virtually never make it for the required 9.00am (today I managed 9.20).
I live a 20 minute bus ride away from work.

During my student years, I used to have 11 hours a week of lectures, and I don't think I ever managed to turn up to a full week's worth. My average waking up time was 11.00 am, I'd spend an hour watching telly while getting ready, and my typical lunch tended to consist of either a birdseye microwave curry, or chicken and chips from the local takeaway. I used the oven twice during my first year, both times for cooking Frey Bentos pies.

At college, I managed to miss three months of lectures for one A level, mostly because I hated the lecturer, but also because I kept getting behind with my other A levels and I needed the time to catch up!

vis post........

SEE! I knew I wasn't the only lazy slob in the world! :)

I have many tales of being lazy...but the one that makes me chuckle is when I used to live with my folks on a small road. Me and my best friend at the time lived 3 doors apart, and insted of actually walking up and down the road ( a round trip of 20 seconds) to see if the other was 'playing out' we would ring each other, infact we would spend more time on the phone than round each others houses cos it was easier. Our parents didn't approve - funny that. :hihi:

WM

Originally posted by KookyKoo
I've actually texted a housemate downstairs before, demanding to be brought a cup of tea because I couldn't be arsed to move (he did!) Originally posted by Lee1979
when i was a student we used to phone each other in the mornings from ours rooms to see if each other was up and going in that day.

i've also had several text conversations with my housemate when we are both in our bedrooms.

so lazy. but i blame modern technology. Texting would involve getting up and fetching the mobile, so I just leave MSN in the backgorund. True lazy people I amdit: Hear! Hear!

Other lazy acts include banging the floor to get him out and then ask him to do something to me, use the VCR to switch the TV on (yes two birds with one stone), also 'look' at housemates sending Jedi messages telling the other housemate that even up I weren't going to the 0900 Lecture :D :D .
I have also managed to not get off my seat between 1000 and 2300, no bog pause, and last night's leftovers left next to desk.

When I lived as a student on Ecclesall road, between 1988 and 1991. My landlord was also a student and one of the laziest people I have ever met. examples ...

"small talk is just a waste of effort" - regular comment which was typical of him

He was so lazy to wash clothes that he had about 50-60 pairs of socks and that meant that he could leave it about 2 months between washing them. Anyhow, I thought that he's peed in the corner of his bedroom, but it was his 2 laundry baskets of festering socks.

It was quite regular for him to go to the Banner Cross pub in just carpet slippers, but I once found him in there with a dressing gown on, he hadn't even bothered to get dressed properly!

Surely the correct answer to this question is...'nothing'.

So to all those prudish people,

I say again:-
What's wrong with peeing in the shower?

:clap: :heyhey:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Don't know about ever but I couldn't be bothered to make myself something proper for tea just now so I've eaten a tin of prunes - out of the tin - with a spoon :thumbsup:



Looking forward to morning now. :o


:blush: result :thumbsup:

When I was still living at home I used to use my mobile (conveniently left on the bed next to my mouth and placed on "loudspeak" to avoid unnecessary strain from holding it to my ear) and phone the landline and get my parents to bring me breakfast in bed - it worked once as they were impressed by the pure cheek of me!!

I have approx. 8hrs a week of uni lectures and didn't make one full week last year!!

I often, in my jobless condition, lie in bed all day and then at about 4.30, when my housemates are due back, quickly get dressed and throw some bleach around the kitchen/bathroom to make it look like i've spent all day cleaning up after them... Genius as they then feel obliged to make me endless cups of tea... :hihi: