Me and my boyfriend have split up. This time for good and we have a holiday booked in September which I have paid for in full (he was giving me half). No one else can come along as of the short notice and the money to be paid for their share. It's been a rocky relationship over the past 2 years but this time I think we've both come to our whits end with it all.

Last night we were chatting online and talking through some of the problems we've been having even though we both knew it wasn't the best way of doing it, it really did go very well.

I don't want us to get back together as I felt a breath of fresh air when we split, knowing that this time it was for good - but that was before realising the huge debt I now had over my shoulders, which I definitely cannot afford to pay for and either not go or to go alone.

I know he is going to push for us to get back together and I am in fear that I will say Yes just so I can get out of the mess I'm in regarding the holiday and I don't want that.

I know it might sound far fetched or complicated or I might not have explained things properly but if anyone can offer any advice please reply!

Angel x

It does sound as if you are in a difficult situation so I'm going to ask some questions which may help you think things through.

If he had already paid his half of the holiday money, how would you feel about him coming along? I wonder whether the answer to that question would help you decide whether you could go on holiday with him to avoid going into debt.

If you really do feel you have to go with him, do you have to restart the relationship in order to do so, or could you go with no strings attached?

In the long run, it may be possible to pay off the debt, so although it must seem like a huge mountain right now, you need to ask yourself which is more important to you - your new-found freedom from the relationship, or the money that will be owing if you go alone or don't go.

Hope these help - good luck with whatever you decide

hello,

I'd say whatever you do don't go on holiday with him. It will only make it worse. If you cannot get anyone to go with you all I can suggest is you are going to have to bite the bullet and lose the deposits.

Not an ideal situation I know but I assume you have already fully paid them so there will be no more to pay out.

Have you paid the balance in full because you had to by a certain date or because you chose to?

Have you spoken to the travel agents regarding the cancellation fee?

Have you thought about selling the holiday.....it may only incur a small fee for changing the details?

Is your ex still going to give you his half?

And i agree with Robbie, don't go with him....not a good idea.

Good luck & keep ya chin up.

can't your ex take a friend with him and give you your half back. or you could both go on holiday and just do your own thing whilst your there.

Ok here's the score. It's somewhere we've been numerous time before. It's a house we rent in Newquay - very very nice indeed and the owners of the house have got to know us and never make us have to pay a deposit anymore etc because they feel they can trust us just to turn up with the cash. However I decided to get it all out of the way and pay up front this time, but my ex doesn't know I have done this.

I don't want to cancel the holiday as yet because I want to be sure of what I am doing first. We were meant to be there for my birthday so I am really peed off about that too. At the same time, if I do have to cancel I can't leave it too late because I feel really bad about letting the guys down in Newquay as they have always been really good to us in the past. And although they have been good to us, they are running a business at the end of the day and qill quite possibley keep the money or most of it because it is such short notice to let the house again...

PLUS - for the very first time we had booked to fly down. Usually all we have ever done is go by coach which takes a dreaful 10 hours from Sheffield. This time, for not that much extra cash we thought we'd fly from Leeds. There's no refunds on that at all and it's £40 to change the name on the ticket plus you have to pay the increase in price on the tickets, as the price has since gone up for that journey from when we booked. BUT that's only if I managed to get someone to fill his place which I am not holding out on.

Grrrrrrrr I have no idea what to do guys!

Angelgirl my advice would be to cancel straight away and then at least you will get some of the money back. There is plenty of time for them to fill the booking for September Cornwall is a very popular place and I am sure if you explain what has happened they will understand you never know they might return the whole amount afterall even the big tour operators don't retain the whole lot this far in front.

I can understand you dillema my daughter has just split with her long standing boyfriend (over 21/2 years) and he was supposed to be going away with us on Saturday and then again next year to florida (yes I had paid his deposit for the flights). My daughter didn't have an acrimonious split but his family have reacted ridiculously and said that if he goes on holiday with us they will consider that he has "choosen a set of complete strangers over his family" (despite the fact that he has spent more time at our house over the last 21/2 years then at home :loopy: ) he has said he will pay me the deposit but I'm not holding my breath! These things happen all the time contact the owners I am sure they will understand. Hope everything turns out ok.

Angelgirl.

Get out and get out now!

Stop the holiday or else when you get there it will all start up again.

After a few wines you'll both be sitting there tinking "this aint so bad" and before you know it your back in this relationship or back to struggeling to keep out of it.

What ever you choose to do though, good luck.

Go on your own or take a friend. £40 to change a name isn't that much and ask them to contribute to the costs.

It's simply one of lifes experieces i'm afraid. And i would agree with most, dont go back to him. You can paint over the cracks, but the cracks are still there!!

Your best bet is to cancel and bite the bullit!

Hey could be worse, you could be like me who spent £2,500 to go to Borneo, split up with girlfriend, phone travel insurance company who said i can claim my money back if i cancelled.

When i did what they said they then declined my claim now i may be going to court to sue them!! Life is such fun!

I mean, how much money are we talking to for a house in Cornwall?? Surely in the hundreds and not thousends?!?