Drinking and ironing whilst making patties is very clever isn't it? :( I hope you won't end up burning things! ):|:|:|

Yes but at least the patties will be crease free...if a little starchy!! :(

Well at least Patty will be stress free after her party!! :(

What party? Why weren't we all invited?:suspect::suspect::suspect:

What party? Why weren't we all invited?:I wanted to bring Pat a bottle of vodka:cool:


Sorry but Im teetotal arent I ?

:cool:


Sorry but I'm a teenager aren't I ?............ and totally disagree with under-age drinking!! :rant:


Let's have a party with jelly and ice-cream and pass-the-parcel. (with lots of lemonade and orange squash.) :hihi:

I love a party with jelly and ice-cream: I 'pass' on the lemonade and orange squash, as I prefer something a lot stronger.... :hihi:

:o What sort of parties do you go to? :o And when are you inviting me? :hihi:

:o Did you ever go to Pippa Dee parties ? :o And when are you going to another ? :hihi:

So they still do them I wonder ;) better class than the "other" ones ;)

I still do them, no need to wonder where I get all my undies from ;) better fit than the "others" ;)

JOAN!!:o You really must turn your OH on at bedtime. :hihi:

JOAN!!:o You really must turn your OH (Oil Heater) off at bedtime during this warm spell. :hihi:


Yes Joan...even if you are wearing Pippa-Dee Lingerie this is still good advice from Mr. Miller!! :)

Yes. Joking apart, I do wear a Polka-Dot swimsuit after getting good advice from Michael Winner!! :)

:o You don't listen to him do you?:rolleyes: He's a real fashion guru of course isn't he. :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

:o Don't listen to him...listen to ME!:rolleyes: I'm a real fashion guru of course !! :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


I suspected as much when I saw your choice of head wear!! :hihi::hihi:

I expected of myself, but what can I do with only this headwear ?? :mad::mad:

I know where you can get a very nice flat 'at, with a free whippet, and some black pudding thrown in. Do you want the address?:D:D

I know where you can get a very nice flat 'at, with a free whippet, and some black pudding thrown in. They even gave me a dress!!:D:D


Obviously was your lucky day. Do you wear the dress often?? :hihi::hihi:

Obviously was your lucky day. Do you wear the dress often?? :hihi::hihi:

Only at weekends, when I like to be known as The Countess of Groan.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

At weekends I like to count my grouse!:hihi::hihi::hihi:

So you and thursday have feathered friends in common? :hihi:

So you and thursday have also got tired of Pat ?:rolleyes:




I wonder why ?

:rolleyes:




I wonder why I can't stop winking?

Did it come on suddenly.......or were you doing it a lot and the wind changed? :hihi::hihi:

Did it come on suddenly or are you still on the game ?

Really !!:mad:

I wonder why I can't stop winking?

Did it come on suddenly.......or were you doing it a lot and the wind changed? :hihi::hihi:

Is Edward Lapaglier involved here?:confused::confused::confused:

I wonder why I can't stop winking?



Is Edward Lear involved here?:confused::confused::confused:



No, I dont like poetry.:)

I'm thinking you don't know him then?

I'm thinking you don't know much about the Himalayas then?


Maybe she is more of an Alps gal?? :hihi::hihi:

Maybe she is more than a match for you, and scalps will be taken?? :o:o:o

No one can get at my scalp, it's protected by my rather fetching headgear.:):):)

No one can get at me when I'm hiding in my scallop shell! I'm protected by a ferocious hedgehog.:):):)

You do surprise me, as I thought you were much taller than that! Are you, perhaps, one of Salome's elves? :)

No one can gets a look at my scalp! It's well protected by my rather fetching and much admired headgear.:):):)


You poor deluded soul!! :hihi::hihi:

I'm a poor deluded soul!! :hihi::hihi:

We know, Dear.... and we try to be soooo sympathetic and understanding! :hihi:

We know you are a Dear.... always soooo sympathetic and understanding....it really should be Saint Salome! :hihi:


At last...someone who recognises my worth!! :D

At last...someone who recognises my worst bad habits!! :D

"At last..." ?? I think we've all known for a very long time.... you Bad Girl! :roll: :roll: :hihi:

A cast??? I think we've all wanted a cast of Gorm's fez for a very long time so we can make one for ourselves. It looks so cute. I do wish he'd put it back on. :):):)

Well, I don't know, but if you keep asking, so I know you really mean it, I might think about it.:):):)

You do surprise me, you look taller in that other hat! Are you, perhaps, putting up shelves? :)


Are the shelves somewhere to keep his wide range of headwear - including the unforgettable fez - do you think?? :roll:

I'll get the elves to go round and make him put the unforgettable fez back on - what do you think?? :):)

So you do want me to wear it again. That's nice to know.:):)

So you do want me!! That's nice to know.:):)


Sorry...you've got it all wrong...it's JUST the fez we want!! :hihi::hihi:

Sorry, l need to sing a song...it's JUST the best Cliff song ever. :love::love:

Hang on a bit while I go and get my industrial strength ear defenders. :o:gag::o:gag::o:gag:

Hang on a bit while I go and get my indian head massage...... Strewth! :o my earrings are defective!! :o :rant::rant:

Oh No!! :( Not your best pair! Do you want to borrow mine??

Oh No!! :( look at my hair! Can I borrow your fez??

Oh, it's a different story now you're in need.:suspect::suspect:

Oh, it's a different story now you're aware I am Royalty!! :roll:


Yes your Majesty. *Curtseys low* Anything I can get for you Sir??
We are truly 'onoured to 'ave you on our 'umble thread!! :hihi::hihi:

What a tragedy. *moans* I can get a new crown for you if you want one Sir?? :hihi::hihi:

Stop whining woman. Get back to the kitchen where you belong. I can sort my own headgear out thank you.:rant::rant::rant:

Stop shining that crown woman. Put it back on my head where it belongs. I am not short of headgear thank you.!!:rant::rant::rant:


Make yer mind up...Crown or Fez....which is it to be?? I am so glad I didn't go off and get myself a tiara!! :hihi::hihi:

Make yer mind up...Crows or Fezants....which is it to be?? I am so glad I didn't go off and get myself drunk again on the Zinfandel!! :hihi::hihi:

Crow or fezant? I think that wine's gone to your head dear. Go and sit in a darkened room for a while.:hihi::hihi:

Crown or fez? I think I've got wine on my head gear. I shall go and sit in a darkened room for a while and ponder on the cleaning costs! :wow::roll:


Oh Dear!! :( Why were you so careless? How does one get wine on one's crown? Tut tut!!

Oh my dear... :love: You are so wonderful. How do you manage to shine above anyone else in town? :):)

It's my army upbringing Sal. You'd be surprised what you can do with a bit of spit and polish.:):)

My armadillo is upsetting my salamander. I shall surprise them with a bit of spit and polish in a minute!!:):)


That's no way to get them to take a shine to you....be nice or I will call the RSPCR!! :rant:

There's no way I'm going to shine your shoes for you....be nice to me...... or else......!! :rant:

That's right, Sal!! You tell him!! (You're not his batman - are you?) :suspect:

That's right, Sal!! You tell him.."You're not Batman Gormie!!" :rant::rant:


What makes you think he thinks he's Batman?? :confused: Did you see him hanging upside down from The Invisible Thread last night too?? :hihi::hihi:

What makes me think he thinks he's a Bat?? :confused: I saw him hanging upside down from The Invisible Thread last night!! :o :o

Mmmmm.. I saw that too....:roll: It's dreadful to think that such things are permitted on a family forum...... :|

Mmmmm.. I saw that tatoo....:roll: It's dreadful to think that such things are permitted on a family forum...... :|

It's quite large isn't it?? Must have been quite a painful experience! Remember when you had Noddy and Big Ears entwined on your.... (better not say where on second thoughts! :hihi::hihi:)...you cried for a week! :roll:

It's quite scary, isn't?? What a painful experience! I remember when he had Noddy and Big Ears entwined on his.... (better not say where on second thoughts! :hihi::hihi:)...he cried for a week! :roll:

I heard he'd had it done, but (being a Lady) I had no idea where it was! :o So how come you know so much about it? :suspect: You haven't actually seen it - have you? :o

I heard he had doughnuts, but being on a diet I had no idea he had hidden them under his fez! :o So how come you know so much about them? :suspect: You haven't actually eaten any - have you? :o


I have to confess I was offered a nice sugar covered jam one...but of course, I politely declined!! :roll:

I have to confess he offered to be a nice Sugar-Daddy - (the jammy so-and-so :roll:) - ...but of course, I politely declined!! :roll:

:o You did right, there, Sal!! I hope you told him to take a long walk off a short pier...... :hihi:

:o You did tell him to turn right there I hope! Otherwise it would have been a long walk to the pier...... :hihi:


Do you think I can't give directions properly?? :rant::rant: Actually he may have misheard me as he passed me twice going totally the wrong way......I kept my head down...I don't think he recognised me!..... I wonder where he is now! :confused:

:hihi::hihi:

Why do you think I don't give directions properly?? ;) Actually he passed me twice going totally the wrong way......I kept winking at him, but I don't think he recognised me!.....:( I wonder who's got him now! :confused::hihi::hihi:

Oooh! That is a good idea! Have you caught many unwary Gentlemen that way? :hihi:

Oooh! That is a good idea! I have caught many unsavoury 'Gentlemen' that way! :hihi:


Do you let them go again...or are they secreted away at the back of the hen house?? :hihi::hihi:

How are the feathered ones by the way?? :)

Do let them go again... It's not fair to keep them secreted away at the back of the house!! :o :o

How are the feathered ones by the way?? :)

Let them Go??? :rant: After all the trouble I went to in 'acquiring' them in the first place?? I think NOT!! :rant:

Ab. Fab. :) Want some eggs? :hihi:

Let them Go??? :rant: After all the trouble I went to in keeping Pat away from my hens !![/SIZE]:suspect:



I have no interest in the hens.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

:suspect:

All I'm interested in is men.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Yes Patty dear we all know that. you don't have to keep banging on about it.:roll::roll::roll:

Yes pasties ARE dear! :o We all know that. You will have to start baking your own.:roll::roll::roll:


I'm sure there will be a demand for them on here....I'll buy some off you for starters! :hihi::hihi:

I'm sure there'll be a demand for pasties on here....I'll buy some and paint them red to use as hats.:hihi::hihi:

Yes, I tried one like that some time ago. It didn't suit me either.:hihi::hihi:

Yes, I tried to get one in my size some time ago. :( My suit doesn't fit me either. :( :hihi::hihi:

That's a shame. Were you going somewhere special? You can borrow my pink ensemble if you like!
:hihi::hihi:

It's always the same. When I'm going somewhere special Thursday always wants to borrow my pink ensemble :rant::rant:


Don't be so mean Sal. Lend it her, you're only going to work.:D:D:hihi::hihi:

Don't be so mean!! Sell it her! She's going to work on the hen house today!.:D:D:hihi::hihi:


Is she building an eggstention?? :hihi:

Is shed building an eggstravagance do you think??? :hihi:

Not if you've got hens to house it's not.:):)

No! :o If you've got hens, you have to put up with them coming into the house! :):)

Oooh! A Fellow-Feather-Fancier on the Forum!! :) I don't know why they come in - I don't go and cause chaos in their houses.... :roll: :hihi:

Oooh! I'm Fella alright!! :) I don't know why you thought otherwise. At least I don't go out in your blouses.... :roll: :hihi:

I say there t, what's got into you? Have you undergone some sort of rebirthing?:hihi::hihi::hihi:

I say! There's a cup of tea!! (What've you put into it?) :suspect: Will I undergo some sort of rebellious outburst if I drink it? :hihi::hihi:

:o What a dreadful thing to suggest...... :o Just drink the damn tea, will you...... :hihi:

:o What a beautiful thing to suggest...... :o Just think damage limitation will you...... :cool:

Damage limitation? I never do any damage anyway. I'm a good boy.:):):)

Dame imitations? I never do any because I'm a good Principal Boy.:):):)


Oh Dear!! What a pantomime!! :hihi::hihi:

Oh Dear!! What a pantomime!! :hihi::hihi:

(No misquoting here.) It was a pantomime getting the old fridge out and the new one in. My Dad came round with his estate car to help. Fridges won't fit in the Porsche as I'm sure you know.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

Should've gone to Curry's!! Free delivery and they take away your old one for
re-cycling!! :)

Don't be in so much of a hurry!! Free yourself, take up cycling!! :)

Yes, I'd like to get in the saddle again. Do you know any good rides around here?:)

Yes, I'd like to get in the sea and have a paddle again. Do you know of any good donkey rides around here?:)

I do like to be beside the seaside!! :hihi:

I do like to see your other side!! :hihi:

You might not if you saw it though.:):)

You might not saw right through me though. :help:

I've heard of 'Sawing The Lady in half', but never seen it done with a man in the box! I think it could catch on, though, don't you, Sal? :hihi:

I saw the lady in the hall, but never with a man in his socks! I think I could watch that though, don't you, Sal? :hihi:

:o:o I'm going to have to cover my ears again to read this thread aren't I?:o:o:hihi:

:o:o I'm going to have to take cover now, as pat may put me in her cellar !! :(



No Im afraid its full up.!

:( Why don't I just shut up.?

That's what we've all been wondering Patty.:D:D:D

That's why you have to go on the Town Hall steps at night Pat

I know but all the men want their money back!:(

I know but all my fans want their money back!:(

I find that hard to believe Patty?:hihi::hihi::hihi:

I find that hard to believe Patty, with prices that you charge :cool:



You get a free massage thrown in as well.

:cool: You get a free sausage thrown in as well.

If it's from your barbecue you can keep it thanks.:D:D:D

I have come straight from the barbers!! :( I shall have to keep the fez...thankfully it will keep my new hair-do :gag: covered!! :(

Was the barber a bit scissor happy?? :roll: ....Just be thankful he wasn't Sweeney Todd! :hihi::hihi:

Was the harbour a bit choppy?? :roll: ....Just be thankful it wasn't the open sea. :hihi::hihi:

Well I'm landlocked so I wouldn't know about these things.:|:|

Well I'm easily shocked so I wouldn't know about these things.:|:|


Easily shocked are you?? :rolleyes: Hmm...didn't see that one coming!! :hihi::hihi:

Very shocked seeing you like this. Are you?? :rolleyes: Hmm...didn't see that one coming!! :hihi::hihi:

No not at all. I'm a GELF.:D:D

(That's a genetically engineered life form if you didn't watch Red Dwarf.)

Do not tell all on SF that I'm an ELF.:D:D

(I'm also a genetically engineered life form and look like a Red Dwarf.)


Hands up anyone that's surprised by the above statements!! NO!...mine aren't up either!! :hihi::hihi:

Hands up Everyone - NOW!! (That's surprised you, hasn't it? I'm above suspicion, so I'll be very successful....) !! NOW!... stick 'em up!! :hihi::hihi:

Oooh! A modern-day Highway Man!! :o Somehow, "Highway Woman" seems to have a slightly different connotation...... and you wouldn't want that, would you? :hihi: Good Luck in your new career... :roll:

Oh, I'm a modern-day Highway White Line Painter :o You wouldn't know would you?:surprised: Wish me Good Luck in my new career or you'll get the brush off!!:P:P

I thought you were bristling a bit t. Must be all the rain. Do you ever get the chance to do what mh did, and write SKOOL outside a school? :hihi::hihi:

I thought you were bristling with bitterness, t. You must be such a pain. Do you ever get the chance to do what mh did, and go to school? :hihi::hihi:

:o Oh, un-say those cruel words......! :hihi: How could you...... after all I haven't done for you......) :hihi:

[QUOTE=thursday;5187457]:o Oh, I do use cruel words......! :rant: How could you not be aware? After all I've told you? QUOTE]

Oh sorry t, but when you start talking I just can't listen, because I'm transfixed by your beautiful eyes.:):):)

Oh sorry t, but when you start rabbitting on, I just can't listen, because I'm transfixed by the thought of Pie!:):)

Oh Charming, I don't think!! :o What sort of pie? :suspect: Lemon Meringue? :)

Oh darling, I just didn't think!! :o What a pie-eyed thursday I am. :suspect: Let me ring you? Can I have your number.?:)

How very dare you madam.:rant: No you cant.:rant: But I think we've all got your number Ducky.:hihi::hihi:

How dare you call me a mad man!:rant: No I don't know why either! :rant: Though I think a number of people calll me Ducky. :roll: :hihi:

Oh! Is that what you think they were saying? :rolleyes: Well, fair enough.... I'm not going to make matters worse...... :hihi:

What is it that you think they were respraying?.. :huh: Fezes?? :roll: Well, fair enough .... I'm not going to mention mad hatters!......:loopy: :hihi:

....and I won't mention that your middle name is Alice and that you just love tea-parties!! :hihi::hihi:

....and I won't mention what my name is, without malice, and that I just love tea-dances!! :hihi::hihi:

We don't want to know your name Sal, just where all these hot tea dances are, don't we Joan?:hihi::hihi::hihi:

We don't want to know your name you silly woman..... just get us all hot teas ....do you take milk and sugar Joan?:hihi::hihi::hihi:


Oi.....I'm not your servant...get your own teas! :rant::rant: Bloomin' Cheek!! :mad:

:hihi::hihi:

Oi.....I'm not your indentured servant...get off your own knees! :rant::rant: Bloomin' Cheek!! :mad:

:hihi::hihi:

It's my age Sal. I just need a hand to get up. I can't help it just like you can't.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

It's my age..... I try to salute everyone. I just need to get my hand up to my head!!. I can't help it if just gets halfway! :hihi::hihi::hihi:

I can understand!...but half a salute is better than none...I suppose! *thinks* just why does the silly duffer want to salute people in the first place?? That's what comes of wearing a fez that's too tight!! :roll: :hihi:

I can understand!...but half a glass is better than none...I suppose! *thinks* just why does the silly duffer want to drink wine in the first place?? That's what comes of wearing a fez that's too tight!! :roll: :hihi:

It's because I enjoy it. I wanted to have a full bodied red tonight but I'd only got a Semillon.:|:|:|

It's because I enjoy being provocative that I have a full body suit on in red tonight :wow:....but I am only semi-conscious.:|:|:|

What is it with you and red?? :huh: Are you the Scarlet Pimpernel reincarnated?? :hihi::hihi:

What is it with you and red?? :huh: Are you Superman incarnate?? :hihi::hihi:

Well, funny you should say that. I do have a penchant for wearing my underwear as outer wear. I get some funny looks mind you when I walk past the traffic cams at about 7.15 every morning.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

Well, funny you should say that. I do have a penchant for wearing my underwear as head wear. :wow: I get some funny looks from my minders when I walk past them wearing terrific camis at about 7.15 every morning.:hihi::hihi::hihi:


Can you send us all some photos please!! :hihi::hihi: Are you allowed out much?? :rolleyes:

Can you send us all some copies please!! :hihi::hihi: Are you followed around much?? :rolleyes:

Oh, I get followed everywhere. My servants are always in attendance. What do you want copies of ?:D:D

Oh, I get followed everywhere. My every move is watched by the attendants. Why do they want me to co-operate?? :huh:


I have no idea! :roll: Do you think the treatment is working? :hihi::hihi:

I have some ideas but they're not very good. Do you think your plan is working? :|:|

The taking over the world one, or the other? I think we'll have to wait and see, won't we?:):)

I am taking over the world one way or the other!! I think I have waited long enough!! :suspect::suspect:


....and where are your attendants/minders at the moment?........:help:

:hihi::hihi:

[QUOTE=Salome;5192363]....and are your attendants and worshipers there at the moment? QUOTE]

Of course dear. They stop me from eating the carpet:D:D.

Of course the dreadlocks stopped me beating carpets!:D:D.


....Is this what you used to do for a living? I love a man that has a physical job!! :hihi::hihi:

....I don't care what you do for a living. Let's get physical, physical, let's get physical, physical, let me hear your body talk! :love::love::love:

Er, just going to get me cap and me coat Sal. The whippet needs a bit of a walk. :roll::roll::roll:

Er, just going to get me cat and me goat Sal. Them and the whippet need a bit of a walk. :roll::roll::roll:


Quite a menagerie you've got there ..........I'll just get the llamas and come with you

Quiet!! The local boulangerie we've got here don't like us to be noisy. I'll just have to get calmer and come with you

That's the way to do it. Big breaths. Don't panic, It'll all be OK.:D:D:D

That's the way to do big breakfasts. Don't use an old frying pan, it'll all stick to the bottom.:D:D:D


Good advice...how do you like your eggs??

Good for you...how do you like your eggs??

Unfossilised, As I imagine you do.:D:D

Unfortunately I am an imbecile...you do realise this don't you?:D:D


well...wearing a fez, a crown and then a lampshade did sort of give the game away!!
:hihi::hihi:

well...Im wearing a fez, a crown and a lampshade........ But not necessarily in that order!!
:hihi::hihi:

It sounds a most disorderly set-up, to me, Sal! You're not going out dressed like that - are you? :o:hihi:

It sounds a most wonderful set-up, to me, Sal! You're going out dressed like Gorm are you? WoW, I envy you

So there we have it. A fashion icon in your midst. Watch and learn girls.:D:D:D

So there! :mad: I've had it. A fashion icon in the mist, and all I can do is watch the girls. :rolleyes:

If you could tear yourself away from the 'girls' for a few minutes, and study the latest trends in millinery, you might decide to change your image........

If you could wear your fez more often, the 'girls' would see you as the trend setter in millinery that you are. No need to change your image........

At last, I am talking to someone who understands. I'll take my hat off to you t. (Behind closed doors of course.):hihi::hihi:

[QUOTE=Gormenghast;5195534]At last, someone who understands me. I'll talk through my hat to you t. (Behind closed doors of course, as I am soooo shy...)QUOTE]

There's nothing to be afraid of, GG.... just come out slowly, with your hands above your fez, and I won't shoot...... :)

[QUOTE=Gormenghast;5195534]At last, someone who understands me. I'll talk through my hat to you t. (Behind closed doors of course, as I am soooo shy...)QUOTE]

There's nothing to say GG.... just ****, with your hands above your head, and I won't complain....... :)

Er, time to get me cap and take the whippet out I think.:D:D:D

Er, time to get me catsuit on and take the whip out I think.:D:D:D


Another fun evening about to commence in the Gorm household methinks!! :hihi::hihi:

Another evening about to commence in the Gorm household. If only I could be there. :hihi::hihi:

Have you got the right coloured fez? It's an elite group you know. I assume you are aristocracy?:D:D

Another fun evening about to commence in the Gorm household methinks!! :hihi::hihi:
Thought that there was more than one ergo; Gormy.. Do i get pedant of the year award ?? The last "holiday I had was rather pleasant by the way " sorry they dont allow us to send postcards... ;):hihi::hihi:

Thought that there was more than one ego, but Im wearing my fez as well !!

And why not say I ! :)

Thought that there was more than one way to skin a cat Gormy.. Do I get pheasant plucker of the year award ?? The last time was rather pleasant by the way.:love: Sorry, they dont allow us to have anything sharp in here:hihi:

Daffy, at last I've found you again. (Not sure I want to though.):D:D:D

Daffy, get out of Pats way will you as shes got a cellar where she keeps men !!

I beg your pardon, I have not !!! :mad:

I beg you Gorm, please come to my cellar.:love::love::love:

I would Pat, but the whippet needs to be taken for a walk. Maybe later, around 2025 perhaps?:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:

I would Pat, but the whip has broken so you cant flog me tonight !!

Really this is disgusting !! :mad:

Really? I find this very interesting. Come up and see me sometime!!

Well I might, but please don't have a barbecue when I do.:gag::gag::D:D

Someone ****** on my barbecue last night but I didn't realise and still ate everything that was on there. .:gag::gag::D:D

Have you recovered now?

Have you been recompensed now?

No, I'm still trapped in Pat's cellar. :help::help::help:

I've stolen 12 and a half bottles of cherryade from Pat's cellar. :help::help::help:

Take as many bottles as you can manage and leave the rest. I'll get them later.

I've drunk as many bottles as I can manage and I'm leaving to have a rest. I'll come back for the empties later.

......well make sure you do!! We don't want this thread to get as untidy as some of the others!!

Well I had to make sure I didn't tread in anything nasty today.

Very good Sal. You deserve a pat on the back.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

You have a very good serve and you don't just pat the ball back.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

No...I am an ace tennis player...I have the elbow to prove it!!

I am not an ace tennis player...I don't have the nerve to prove it though!!

Don't be nervous Sal. I've heard your racket's made you a lot of money.:)

Don't be like Nero Sal. I've heard your racket with a fiddle made you a lot of money.:)


I'm nothing like Nero...well, I'm not mad :roll: and I've never been to Rome!

I'm nothing like Miro. I'm mad :roll: and I live in a home for worn out artists.!

What sort of artist would that be then Sal?:hihi::hihi:

Hats are a sort of artistic expression..... wouldn't that be right then Sal?:hihi::hihi:

So what do you think your hat says about you then Gormie??

So what do you think your hat says about you then Gormie??

It says that I'm not afraid to be ridiculed, I don't care what people think.
But perhaps I'm just making rash statements at the moment.:rant:

The little smilie at the end of this post says that it's not afraid to be ridiculed and doesn't care what people think.
But I think it's just making rash statements at the moment.:rant:

Yes...one can never tell what these sneaky little smilies are really thinking can one? :hihi::hihi:

Yes,one can never sell these sneaky little things. Are you really thinking you can? :hihi::hihi:

No, you just have to scratch the surface and who knows what you'll find. :mad::mad::mad:

No, you'll just have to scratch my back and Ill scratch yours ! :D

Really. This thread is getting disgusting !!:rant::rant:

No, you just have to scratch the surface and who knows what you'll find. :mad::mad::mad:


I know...it can be very irritating!! ;)

:D

I want to make this thread more disgusting. Can you help?:heyhey::heyhey::heyhey:

How very dare you madam. Haven't you got enough firemen already?:o:o:o:o

How very bare you are, madam. Haven't you got enough frilly frocks? :o:o:o:o

I'm sorry, but I dont really 'do' frilly frocks - you'll have to borrow one from someone else..... try Salome! :) She'll lend you the matching hat, as well! :hihi:

:o:o I'm sorry, but I'm shocked. - you'll have to talk to someone else. Try Salome, she doesn't mind that sort of thing! She'll be more than a match for you as well! :mad:

:o:o What have I said now? (Some people are just impossible.):rolleyes::rolleyes:

:o:o Who told you that? :mad: (I am NOT totally impossible...... Well, not all the time....) :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Of course you're not.... :roll: Please list your redeeming features, put the list in a bottle with a cork in, and cast into the sea.... What a lovely surprise that will be...... for Someone!! :hihi: :)

Of course I'm not supposed to tell but.... :roll: I can pee in a bottle put a cork in, and cast into the sea.... When it comes back it is a lovely vintage that I sell on...... to Someone!! :hihi: :)

I was wondering where my OH was getting it from :huh: It will be the last time I steal her wine :gag:

I was wandering again. It's her wine that does it to me. If I had a brain it wouldn't be in gear. :suspect:

Yes, Brainless Nut does give the game away A.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

As one Brainless Nut to another.... do you fancy a game of conkers? :rolleyes::rolleyes:


Is this a challenge...like pistols at dawn?? :shocked:

Isn't this a change. You really like Bristol? It doesn't make you yawn?? :shocked:

No I've always been a Bristol fan.:D:D

I've been known to fan my bristles!!:D:D


...and why not!! :roll: Each to his own I say!! :hihi::hihi:

...and why shouldn't I? :roll: What?? Beachy Head is owned by your family?? I say!!

Yes, it was inherited a long time ago by the second Earl. Bit of a distance away, but we keep in on for when I retire. :cool::cool:

Yes, I was disinherited a long time ago by the second Earl. I have to keep my distance, but I'm waiting for him to "retire"..... :cool::cool:

:o You must have done something truly dreadful to be treated like that!! :o What was it....?

:o You must do something with those dreadlocks GG that's why you're treated like that!! :o

So that's why he always wears hats :suspect: :D

So that's why he always strokes cats :suspect: :D

Yes, I do it until they are catatonic.:D

Yes, I am always catatonic. It is the only way I can cope with people laughing at my hat.:cry:

Poor GG :( I'm sure there must be some help you can get? :D

Poor GG :( I'm sure there must be some way you can get into Pats cellar ?

Sorry mate, its full up.!:mad:

Sorry mate, its full up, but I'll try to squeeze you in somewhere. It's the fez, makes me go weak at the knees.:love::love:

Steady on old girl, I'm old enough to be your younger brother.:D:D:D

I had to steady myself at the sight of the old girl dressed as a nurse, I'm bold enough to be your hungry lover.:love::love:

Well GG, you certainly tell it like it is don't you?! :hihi:

Well Gor' blimey G, you certainly smell like you've been eating jellied eels guvnor don't you?! :hihi:

One has them specially bred in one's moat Mr. Acorn. You wouldn't know what they really taste like would you??? I thought not.:D:D

What?

I don't know.

I don't know why I bother posting on here......no one ever takes me seriously!! :rant::rant::rant:


....Oh Dear! It's not meant to be serious you know....you're doing just fine!! :)

....Top Gear! It's not meant to be serious you know....you might just get away with a fine :)

The Hampster might kick up about it, but Mr. Slow won't mind.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I'm thinking of buying a hamster just so I can eat it. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Are you bored or hungry?

Are you a bodyguard...huge and hairy?? :o


I don't know about Bodyguards but we could do with a few 'Bouncers' on here!! :hihi::hihi:

I don't know about hairstyles and hats, we sure could do with a few stylists on here to help me!! :hihi::hihi:

I would gladly give you a few tips Sal :D

I would gladly give you a plateful of tripe, Sal :D

:o I think you'll have to do better than that, Acorn :roll: Tripe may not be Sal's idea of a cosy candle-light supper! ;)

:o I think you'll have to batter it, Acorn :roll: Battered Tripe is Sal's idea of a tasty cosy candle-light supper! ;)


And I thought Sal would be healthy eating type of gal didn't I?

And I thought Sal would be healthy - eating all that salad, didn't I?

Oh yes, :) and she's a great believer in going to the gym every morning: that's why she gets up so early! :hihi:

Oh no, :) she's a great believer in going to the chippy every morning: that's why she can't get up in the morning and she keeps a pie under her hat for lunch:hihi:

well a man can certainly have his dreams shattered, can't he?! :D

well a woman can certainly have her dreams shattered, can't she?! :D

Probably. :|

Probably if I typed a few more lines it would give someone a bit more to play with. :|


That's the spirit Jessop:) It's good to see you are joining in :cool:

It's good to see you are joining in with the yoga at the old folks' home tomorrow. :cool:

Who told you that? I'm too lazy to exercise! :hihi:

I drink too much spirits Jessop:) It's hard to see you at the moment with this double vision.:suspect::suspect:

Well A, as I said to someone earlier, you should stick to the Government guidelines like what I do.

Well A, as I said earlier, you should stick the Government guidelines and drink like a fish like what I do hic.

I'm not sure i could keep up with you GG, what with me being a little peculiar;)

I'm sure i could keep up with you GG, but my peculiar habits might put you off.;)

So you're a monk are you?

So you're a monkey are you?

Ooh aah aah.

Wooh Hooh! :thumbsup: Did you know that this is MY thread??


Did you really make it all up on your own?? You are very clever Jess! :)

I really made all this mess on my own! I will be in a lot of trouble Jess! :) And probably sent to the naughty step

I don't envy you Sal, when the others come on and see how untidy you have left it. I think you can come off the step now though but don't do it again :rant:

I don't envy Gorm, having to cook and clean and tidy up. Hope he doesn't have to do it again :(

WHAT!!! You mean I've got to do it every day????:o:o:o

WHAT!!! You mean I've got to put up with Pat whipping me every day ?

No, you dont have to !:mad:

No, I'll have two. One bottle's not enough for me !:mad:

:o:o:o Steady on Patty, the sun's not over the yardarm yet.:hihi:

:o:o:o Steady on Patty, that last lad was a bit young for you wasnt he ? :gag:




No, the younger the better.:P

[QUOTE=pattricia;5215170] No, the hunger gets the better of me at times. That's why my uniform won't fit any more.:(:( QUOTE]

Seafood diet eh Patty?:)

[QUOTE=pattricia;5215170] No, the hunger gets the better of me at times. That's why my uniform won't fit any more.:(:( QUOTE]

Seafood diet eh Patty?:)
Gorm whatever are you playing at here ????????????????????????:D:D:D:D:D Thought I was going round the bend. How did you do that ?????????????????

I just wasn't feeling myself for a while then. Phew, I'm glad that's over with. :D:D

(It's a secret known only to the ancient mariners Patty.):D:D

I just wasn't feeling myself for a while then. Phew, I'm glad that's over with. :D:D

(It's a secret known only to the ancient mariners Patty.):D:D

Im guessing you saved my avatar when I had that pic did you ? Then brought it up again just now ? NOt just a pretty face am I ? :roll:

[QUOTE=Gormenghast;5215185]
Gorm whatever are you banging at ????????????????????????:D:D:D:D:D You know the cellar locks from the outside. How did you get that through there ?????????????????

Patti I think you will have to do some sound proofing!
:D

[QUOTE=pattricia;5215202]

Patti I think you will have to stop humping men dont I ?

Really AC, can you stop this disgusting language ? :hihi:

Really AC, can you stop talking this language of love to me ? :love:

I'm sorry Pat, I just can't help myself :D

I'm sorry Pat, I just can't help trying to book a place in your cellar :D ;)

Sorry Im booked up for the season.:roll:

;)

Sorry I've hooked up with a traveling clown for the season.:roll:

that's a shame, we will all miss you very much :hihi:

that's a shame, as Ive just bought a new pair of handcuffs :rolleyes:

Never use em mate, they dont resist !:cool:

:rolleyes:

One tried to escape the other day. I said "it's no use mate", " you know you can't resist !" and rugby tackled him to the ground :cool:

I never realised you were a full back in you spare time?! ;)

I never realised you gave massages in your spare time:huh:

I do, but at a price.:rolleyes:

:huh:

I do, but for the price of a can of fanta and a pork pie.:rolleyes:

Book me in then Patti :cool:

Book me in then Patti , but if Im not satisfied, I want my money back!!

No chance !!!!!:mad:

There is a chance i'll throw in a freebie too !!!!!:heyhey:

This just gets better all time, doesn't it?! :banana:

And this from a lady of the night innit ? :cool:

Are you calling me a street walker ? :rant::rant:

:cool:

Are you walking me to street market ? :huh:

Why I would love to Patti, Just grab my arm :nod:

Just grab my arm , I said "my arm" and not THAT !!

Now would I ? Is the Pope a Catholic ? :)

How did you know I'm no spring chicken ? :)

We know you of old Patty.:hihi::hihi::hihi:

Now if only I could think of somewhere to Pop this? :)
:hihi:


I usually put my letters in the post box Patti :D

I usually only wear sweaters and the most awful socks:D

Don't go out like that A, you'll get arrested.:suspect::suspect:

Please don't dress like me A, you'll get only get yourself arrested. I have the fashion police at my place all the time:suspect::suspect:

Don't worry GG, I have not intention of wearing your jerkin :gag:

Don't worry GG, I'm not going to do anything with this gherkin

Thank god for that, or we'd be in a right pickle.:hihi::hihi:

No thanks! But I will go for it, seaweed pickle sounds delightful.... :roll:

Yes, I've read elsewhere that you occasionally don the chef's hat, and concoct strange things in the kitchen!! :hihi:

Yes, I've read elsewhere that you occasionally do strange things in the kitchen with a chef's hat !! :hihi:





....I'm looking on the bright side...at least it's not in a fez!! or is it??:roll:

....I'm using the right side of my brain to do this...at least it's not hidden under a fez!!

Well, not just now it isn't, but it might be later. :hihi:

Well, I'm not using my brain just now, but I might get it out of the jar later. :hihi:

And I thought you meant something else when you said you are pickled:huh:

And I thought you said you were booked into Pats cellar tonight ?

I thought he was nursemaiding.:suspect:

I thought he was the milkman, so he is locked in too now:suspect:


People will start to get suspicious of all these missing people Pat :suspect:

People will start to get suspicious if I keep cross dressing

Im sure they will AC,:cool:

I can lure AC to the cellar too,:cool:

It will take more than a glass of sherry and a twinkle in your eye Patti :help:

It will take more than a pair of handcuffs and a blind fold to get me there: :mad:

Do you think Im kinky or summat ?:rolleyes:

:mad:

Do you think I'm desperate to get you in my cellar or summat ?:rolleyes:

Quite frankly Pat, Yes! It does seem that way :o

Quite frankly Pat, Id rather have a nice cup of tea ! :roll:

Coward!!

:roll:

Cowards, firemen, scouts, I'll take what i can get!!

I'm sure if you just talked to people rather than lock them up ,you would find Mr right :)

I'm sure if you just shut up and got on with it,youd get more customers

Really AC !!

Really AC I wish you would just pop round and look at these puppies !!


Well, maybe just a little peek then Patti :)

Well, I know it's a coincidence but I may be just about to get a little peke to pat. :)


Oh...I just love little pekingese puppies!! :love: When you get your little peke may I pop around for a peek??

[QUOTE=Salome;5221918]Oh...I'm a bit grumpy this morning !! I need something a little piquant for beakfast. :|:|QUOTE]

Try pineapple and bacon. It usually does the trick for me.:):)

Try the pineapple and bacon trick. It usually gets a good round of applause for me.:):)


Really!!?? With or without the twirling fez finale??

Really:rant::rant::rant: I'm not going to wear a fez, and that's final. :rant::rant:

Keep yer 'air on Sal. Just lay back and relax.:)

Keep yer 'ousework!! Today I shall just lay back and relax.:)

Somehow... I don't think so!! :hihi::hihi:

Sometimes I just don't think. :(:(

Well you haven't got the equipment for it have you?:hihi:

I haven't got a merry quip for you at the moment! :( Have you one for me?:hihi:


Do you know I haven't....but I'll go away and have a think!! :hihi:

Do you know I haven't....I think I need a drink. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

:o:o:o At this time in the morning? You know what they say Sal. You're an alky if you start before Telletubbies has been on.:rolleyes::rolleyes:

:o:o Why are you on here at this time in the morning? You know they're saying you're a Teletubbies lookalike don't you?? :rolleyes::rolleyes:


No they're not...that's all you...you fez wearing popinjay!! :rant::rant:

:hihi::hihi:

[QUOTE=Salome;5221995]No I'm not. That's you all over. Fez wearing does suit you though.:) I'm going to pop into HMV later. :):) QUOTE]

I knew you'd get to like it eventually.:cool::cool:

I know you'd like to get even!.:cool::cool:

No ....I don't mind being odd!! :hihi::hihi:

No ....I don't mind being old!! :hihi::hihi:

That's just as well under the circumstances isn't it?:D

It's just as well that we're going to the circus isn't it?:D


Are we?? Is it?? Who's paying?? :confused:

Who's playing?? :confused:

Well you'll be the clown as usual, so you'll not have to pay.:o

Well you'll be on your own as usual, so you'll have to pay.:o


You are such a hard-hearted so-and-so!!

You are such a fool for telling Pat where to get Easy Rider beer from :rant:

I still havent had any ! :huh:

:rant:

I still havent had many firemen! :huh:

Never mind...later on we'll see if we can find some!! :hihi:

You're so kind...I'll see if I can find some for you!! :hihi:

I've got people to find what I want thank you.:rolleyes:

People find that I am wanting!!:rolleyes:


Yes...I have heard!! :hihi::hihi:

Yes...I know I'm absurd!!

I'm glad you admit to your faults Sal.

I'm glad that you admitted me to your vaults Sal.


Shhhh! Remember that's our little secret!!

Shhhh! Remember, I don't regret it. :love:

So you shouldn't. Not everybody gets the chance.

So you know...... everybody gets a chance.


....I suspected as much...it's the old fez magic is it?? :hihi:

....I hoped as much...it's the fez that does it for me? :hihi:

Well keep it under your hat Sal. I don't want everyone to know.

We'll keep it under wraps Sal. I don't want Acorn to know.


Maybe this wasn't the place to write that!! :hihi::hihi:

Maybe this place isn't big enough for both of you:o:o

Maybe not, but lets see if we can come to an agreement.

Maybe - but lets see what's in the agreement.


We had an agreement?? :o

We had an agreement and I'm going to hold you to it.

I'm lost for words.

I'm lost in the woods. :(


Oh dear...and today's the day the teddy bears are having their picnic!! :hihi::hihi:

Oh dear my teddy's in the wash. *** **** **** ** ** ****!! :hihi::hihi:

Who do you think I am, Starman?

Do you think I am a Star?

NO!! :hihi::hihi: