So - what do you do when you can think of nothing left to do? You have climbed your highest mountain, swum your deepest depths. When you have heard all the music and the songs just keep repeating, and all the tunes just seem the same?

What do you do when you have loved as much as you are able? You have travelled as far as the road seems to want to go? When there is nothing left that seems of any importance other than repeating the same mistakes and never learning cos the lesson just does not make sense?

What do you do when all you can think about are yesterdays cos all the tomorrows are empty and dull? When you feel too old for the people you like and do not want to be the people you are heading towards being one of?

Where do you go and what do you do when everything seems to involve pain and upset no matter what you do or how you do it? When you know that each time you get up on your feet it is only so the next kind soul can knock you straight back down again?

Surprisingly these questions are not from someone feeling depressed. I have been there on quite a few occassions and this just is not one of those, but I am interested in any responses - other than hand out the razor blades ;)

So - what do you do next?

Dragon

Seriously , Dragon , if you do feel jaded , why not volunteer for one of the V.S.O.schemes ?
If you have any skills at all , they'll welcome you ; there's a bit of red tape [as usual] to go through but not much by today's standards.
You don't get much in the way of financial reward but you get very well looked after and you do get a sufficient enough allowance to enjoy yourself in whichever country you end up.
The most important thing however is that you would meet new people and get a sense of purpose.You get an entirely different perspective on life if you work abroad. Must be worth ringing up and asking , at any rate ; plus , practically no age limit !

Who said anything about feeling jaded? I was just wondering if there were people out there who ever got the feeling "What is the point?" - dunno where the question mark should go.

Fact is that I am dealing with many people who are driven to the edge and I try to help them claw their way back. You can help but they have to do the work in the end.

We all have our ups and downs - moments when we think life is just a great big heap of donkey droppings, and moments when the sun just keeps on shining and we feel great. But do we admit to feeling down and accepting it as one of lifes little rewards?

I can hardly up and off with children to think about not to mention my own business to run and the general rigours of survival. Except for times like this when sleep refuses to come due to overactive thinking I get on well with life. Yet there are occassions when I think - what the heck? Be better off as a cabbage.

So - am I the only person who can addmit to feeling this way?

Dragon

Well , ,"jaded" does more or less mean what you said.
You didn't mention anything specifically about your work or that you had a family.
You sounded as if you'd tried everything and that nothing you could think of would give you a buzz.

Originally posted by Dragon
So - what do you do when you can think of nothing left to do? You have climbed your highest mountain, swum your deepest depths. When you have heard all the music and the songs just keep repeating, and all the tunes just seem the same?

What do you do when you have loved as much as you are able? You have travelled as far as the road seems to want to go? When there is nothing left that seems of any importance other than repeating the same mistakes and never learning cos the lesson just does not make sense?

What do you do when all you can think about are yesterdays cos all the tomorrows are empty and dull? When you feel too old for the people you like and do not want to be the people you are heading towards being one of?

Where do you go and what do you do when everything seems to involve pain and upset no matter what you do or how you do it? When you know that each time you get up on your feet it is only so the next kind soul can knock you straight back down again?

Surprisingly these questions are not from someone feeling depressed. I have been there on quite a few occassions and this just is not one of those, but I am interested in any responses - other than hand out the razor blades ;)

So - what do you do next?

Dragon
There are a lot of people who will never feel the way you do at the moment Dragon. If you feel everything is lost and there is nothing left, why not dedicate yourself to helping other people see and feel half the things you have?

Originally posted by Dragon
What do you do when you have loved as much as you are able?

I have to ask this, and at the risk of sounding rude; have you ever loved at all?

Love doesn't dry up, it is not an effort, ergo you cannot 'love as much as you are able'

Love as I understand it floods out, it is self-sustaining.

You can love someone as much as you are able in that giving love to a person completely, regardless of whether it is returned or not, is loving someone as much as you are able. A wise man once said - there is love and then there is Love.

You love the dog, you love the goldfish, you love your parents, you love your children, but there is only one real Love and when you find it you will know what I am talking about. It is that one person in all your life who means everything to you, and more. That one person who you would do anything for because they shine like a star and any imperfections they may seem to have only serve the purpose of enhancing how perfect they are. Oops! Love sick monkey magik. ;)

Aside from that - with regards to the other posts - I already explained that my job is particularly helping people. I work at building confidence and self-respect. I help those who lack confidence to find a stepping stone upon which to build. I run a retail shop which sells little and advises lots, and I do not charge for advice. To me it is much more important that a person believes in themselves rather than purchase something they really do not want or know how to use. Not a way to get rich I admit, but seeing people standing on their own two feet and facing the world and all it throws at them makes me feel good.

Dragon

Dragon

You dust youself off getup on your feet and start all over, no matter how difficult it is.

Life is too short and too precious to wallow in self pity etc.

Indian saying:-

'I complained that my feet hurt because I had no shoes until I met a beggar who had no feet'

Happy Days Ahead!

I think I get what you’re saying, and I appreciate the others may have missed the point of the original question.

I think most problems like this come from over thinking a problem (something I think we’ve all been guilty of doing at some point) Life for the most part, is a very dull and boring experience. We eat and sleep to stay alive, and procreate to keep the species going. We have no choice over these things, it’s written into our very DNA. However at some point we developed consciousness, and from this point we could then question ourselves, why do we have eat, sleep and procreate? Why can’t we just curl up and die if we so wish. So we created love, religion, social conscious, as ways to keep going and feel good about ourselves and our reason for living (for the really unoriginal it is they’re only reason for living) Just check out some of the slighty ‘wimpish hallmark-esque’ responses to love posted on this thread and others “But it’s wonderful….have you ever been in love?” As if somehow, they feel special because they’ve been blessed with the same emotion that both you, and I and 10 billion other people around the planet feel with their partners every day (ah, the ego of the average internet user)

I've just posted a similar thread here (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=48558), if you want to have a look.

I guess what you asking is, not so much, ‘why are we here?’, but ‘why am I here?’ and that’s a question that can only be answered on an individual basis. Some live for love, for children, for god and yes some people live to only hurt others. I’m sure you’ll work out what you’re here for, and although we can’t tell you, perhaps a few clues may have dropped in.

dragon im afraid im goin to say you get up and dust yourself off too. Just throw yourself into your children and your work and itll get better or talk to a friend who will cheer you up possibly maybe a peson you dont know that way its easier trust me i know

I awoke in the wreckage of our car, I was trapped in the rear, my son in the driver's seat pinned to the steering wheel , my wife dying beside him. That was August 1979 in Massachusetts and a tractor trailer had jacknifed across the median strip and hit us head on. We were six days short of our 24th Anniversary.
I remarried in 1982, and in 1990 at Christmas my gall bladder exploded, and I was rushed to hospital with peritonitis. During the operation I had a cardiac arrest for five minutes.
In 2002 I contracted cancer of the larynx, and underwent massive radiation therapy whuch beat it. My baby granddaughter Megan went with me every day for five months of treatment, and today at nearly 4 years old is my best friend.
I have survived a tornado which destoyed my home, a fire aboard the aircraft carrier Indomitable which killed 30 of my shipmates, a bomb on my home in Tinsley in 1940, and a few other trials and tribulations.
By rights I suppose I ought to be a pessimistic wreck, but I'm far from it. I enjoy q pint with my pals, used to enjoy a cigarette with my coffee till I learned more common sense, a ride on my mountain bike when its not too hot, or a drive in my air conditioned Escort when it is.
But most of all I enjoy a day at the beach with my three little granddaughters and life is bloody marvellous even if they do talk with Yankee accents.

Originally posted by buck
By rights I suppose I ought to be a pessimistic wreck, but I'm far from it. I enjoy q pint with my pals, used to enjoy a cigarette with my coffee till I learned more common sense, a ride on my mountain bike when its not too hot, or a drive in my air conditioned Escort when it is.
But most of all I enjoy a day at the beach with my three little granddaughters and life is bloody marvellous even if they do talk with Yankee accents.

You sound like you really know the meaning of "it's not what happens to you in life that matters, it's how you deal with it that counts". I take my hat off to you!

Yes , me too , Buck.
I think you've proved conclusively , that , often , it's not disasters that cause depression and unhappiness ; often , I'm sure it's boredom , restrictions and routine that get people down.
It certainly seems to make them more petty-minded .
I think that's why people DID come through the Blitz and the War , without us having mass depression and yet , after 60 years of peace , no major earthquakes or disasters on a scale that some countries get , we have millions of people popping pills and suffering from all kinds of depression and neuroses.

Originally posted by Fareast
Yes , me too , Buck.
I think you've proved conclusively , that , often , it's not disasters that cause depression and unhappiness ; often , I'm sure it's boredom , restrictions and routine that get people down.
It certainly seems to make them more petty-minded .
I think that's why people DID come through the Blitz and the War , without us having mass depression and yet , after 60 years of peace , no major earthquakes or disasters on a scale that some countries get , we have millions of people popping pills and suffering from all kinds of depression and neuroses.

Personally I'd say it's the lack of control (or the perception of it anyway) & feeling unable to change your situation that has those effects rather than the disasters/problems themselves (as you point out). The one thing you do have control over though is how you choose to view what happens to you.

So coming back to Dragon's initial question I'd say you decide it's time for a fresh perspective & a change of approach to life. It sounds so simple put like that...

I think that no matter what happens to you - as long as you are still alive you should live as best you can.

Get ouot, meet new people, and try to find something you can trust or someone you can trust.

I hope this thread has helped those people who think they have nothing left to live for. Taking a look at some of the responses it seems we all have that power to move on - no matter the hardships that hit us full in the face.

Anyone who thinks life is so bad and they cannot go on - just take a read of Bucks post.

Dragon

My votes for going back and doing it all again on a unicycle....

Joel

I often find that when you have looked and found no more interest without, then it is time to look within.

Have a sex change and try everything again as the other gender.

i get another drink :)

When I first saw the title of the thread I thought - nothing left - well go back and get some more then.

Then I read the post and the responses and thought about it. I like most people have had my share of ups and downs. When I'm down, I think - "well at least I'm due an 'up' now!

Anyway, after thoughfull consideration of the question, my answer is: go back and get some more ...

Sorry if it sounds flippant, it's not meant to be. Maybe I should explain:

when you've climbed your hightest mountain - find a higher one to climb. When you've loved as much as you can, love again. When you've done 'everything' go do all the things you haven't done. etc etc.

When you feel you won't ever laugh again - find something to laugh about.

I think Buck's post is pretty inspiring - but I also thing that it's worth remembering that all things are relative, and generally whatever is happening in your life at any paticular time can be all-consuming if you over-think and let it take hold.

I don't mind sticking my hand up and saying that there have been times when I've felt pretty despairing. Last year I had a bit of a bad year, with serious problems at home, with relationships, work and family heath, that all seemed to descend on me at once. I remember it kind of felt like I was treading water frantically but still sinking, because something terrible was happening in every area of my life.

I do think sometimes the simple things help us get through though, and you never realise how strong you can be until it all goes t*ts up!

Personally I find that just a simple thing like phoning a friend can help me out of a black mood. I have some amazing friends.

It's also often easier to think about someone's elses problems instead of your own. It's easier to see the wood for the trees when you're not experiencing something first hand, and helping someone else often helps put your own problems in a new light.

I remember one particular evening when I was really at my wits end, a programme came on TV called the Boy Who's Skin Fell Off - about that guy with Epidermis Bullosa. I found it very humbling to watch, and I think we should all try to remember that however bad life gets, there is usually somebody who has got it much worse!

Originally posted by buck
I awoke in the wreckage of our car, I was trapped in the rear, my son in the driver's seat pinned to the steering wheel , my wife dying beside him. That was August 1979 in Massachusetts and a tractor trailer had jacknifed across the median strip and hit us head on. We were six days short of our 24th Anniversary.
I remarried in 1982, and in 1990 at Christmas my gall bladder exploded, and I was rushed to hospital with peritonitis. During the operation I had a cardiac arrest for five minutes.
In 2002 I contracted cancer of the larynx, and underwent massive radiation therapy whuch beat it. My baby granddaughter Megan went with me every day for five months of treatment, and today at nearly 4 years old is my best friend.
I have survived a tornado which destoyed my home, a fire aboard the aircraft carrier Indomitable which killed 30 of my shipmates, a bomb on my home in Tinsley in 1940, and a few other trials and tribulations.
By rights I suppose I ought to be a pessimistic wreck, but I'm far from it. I enjoy q pint with my pals, used to enjoy a cigarette with my coffee till I learned more common sense, a ride on my mountain bike when its not too hot, or a drive in my air conditioned Escort when it is.
But most of all I enjoy a day at the beach with my three little granddaughters and life is bloody marvellous even if they do talk with Yankee accents.

What a life Buck! I take my hat off to you and all that you have overcome. I too like everyone have had my ups and downs but I always bounce back somehow. With every 'upset' I believe we become stronger. It's either lay down and die or get up and run.

There are always new adventures in life to be had there is never 'this is it' if I thought I had ever done all of the things I could possibly do for my own enjoyment I would volunteer to help make someone else's life a bit happier. There is always someone less fortunate than yourself.;)

I'd like to thank everyone for their comments. It was never intended to be an autobiography that stated I was better or tougher than anyone else. That would have been arrogant and stupid, and I hope I'm not that way. Losing my beloved fellow Sheffielder so suddenly left me bereft of any other feeling but pure grief. It took a great American friend to pull me out of it and introduce me to a native of County Clare.
Circumstances alter cases, and Pauline of the delightful brogue was that circumstance. Her boys became my boys, and their children became my grandchildren.
Between life in this lovely part of New England, and our annual visits to the ould sod, life has become very special. This year we plan to cross the Irish Sea and take a look at how my old and mucky town has changed.
If I sometimes appear critical of Sheffield , it comes from a deep pride in what it is, what it was and what it ought to remain. I have loved it all my life. After the long months at sea, it was always the one place I wanted to see after I got on the train from St.Pancras, and got up to remove my bag as the train passed through Heeley station.