Hiya guys,

well jusy abit of a rant to tide us by for the morning :rant:

I own a bar in chesterfield town centre, i have ran this now for 7 months. I worked my ass of for a year to get this place with business plans and everything. my girlfrined was very supportive. however 4 months on we split up from what i believe to be the stress's and strains of owning a new business?

The bar now seems very "not" important to me anymore...... i feel like my strive to make a million has gone cause i haven't got the backing of my girlfriend. I feel like money isn't everything anymore?

This is the decision i now have to make.........

do i carry on with my life here, with the bar........ possibly buy another.

Or do i sell the bar, sell my car........... take the profits........... and leave?

I'm really toying with the idea of moving abroad, somewhere not too commercial, buying a little bar. Something to tide me by and living without all the commercialisation the chavs the whole generalised society of today in the uk?

:help:

I dont know what to do?

Any ideas?

regards

(confused):confused: :loopy:

Do what you think is best mate.

What advice would you give to someone in your situation??

Otherwise do what makes you the happiest. Life is short and is one experience which we learn and live by. What excites you the most and which would you regret the most if you didn't do

Good luck!! :D

your happiness is more inportant than any amount of money in the world.

If you're having such doubts and thinking about doing otherthings your heart can't be truly in it and maybe it is time to go?

Get a decent manager in to run the bar whilst you go on holiday to chill out.

Then come back and make the bar the best in town, that should tick her off big style and also show her that you have moved on.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hello Mr Confused,

I think you should keep your options open, relax and take time to make the right decision.
Maybe you should stick at your business here a little longer - at least a year. Revise your attitude towards it into something to be proud of, and certainly aim to end on a high. This is really important for when you look back on it.
Setting up abroad is a delicious prospect, though is unlikely be without hardwork, setbacks and disapointments. It's easy to think it'd be perfect when actually it could be a bloody mare!!!
It could be truly fantastic though, but dont rush into it for the wrong reasons. Use your new singledomness to improve your relationship with yourself perhaps. Indulge in pyschobabble books!! Heeeeh :)
Make a list of the pros and cons of your options. Do research and pave the way for each to become a reality, but maybe for now decide to delay ant major desicion til the new year - if that prospect feels unbarable, perhaps u should be offskis soon...u'll only follow your instincts in the end anyway...or u cud just toss a coin!!!

This girl - do you want her back, is she worth fighting for/sacrificing for/running away from????

johnsmith - sorry to hear of your problems.

I pretty much agree with owdlad's comment that you could get a manager in and take yourself off for what sounds like a much needed break.

This will give you chance to weigh up your own options, to truly decide what YOU want to do, a chance to really think on your own away from the stresses and everyday hassles of business (and relationship matters).

Are you quitting, or merely throwing the towel in? Would you be doing either for your own piece of mind/sanity/reasons or for someone else's? To impress yourself or your ex?

Whatever, it IS a big decision. But you have worked hard for seven months with that business and what if you were to decide to start again? Another seven months hard work at least to get back to where you presently are.

You've got a business and career. Thousands of people would love to have what you have.

But! If the stresses are too much, if there are other areas in your life that you feel require priority and moreover, if those problems in your life are affecting the running of your business, then maybe getting rid would be the answer.

I'm not Marj Proops, but I reckon if you've got a successful business (established, popular and running at a tidy profit), then that would be my first building block in sorting my life out and the last thing I would want to get rid of.

Best wishes and good luck whichever direction you choose!

Hey there guys,

thankyou for your replys......... i really appreciate it?

melon angel: The girl........ we split too many times. I just dont think we work. We're not meant to be together so she says. It doesnt make it any easier though i suppose it makes it harder as i have no concrete reason that shes not in my life. she never cheated on me. so i cant hate her?

We still keep in touch and are trying to build a friendship now, as i would rather have her in my life as a friend than not at all?

I know it sounds soppy, but i suppose the real question is about the money.........

sometimes i think my happiness is more important and think i should just get rid of all the stress and go and find the love of my life. and spend the rest of my life with her been happy.

Or do i carry on in a career witht he stress's and strains.....

thanks for listening guys?

:thumbsup:

p.s anyone want to go on holiday?

:clap:

Hey Johnsmith,

I'll come and run a bar with you abroad !!!

you can buy mine here if you like lou?

:D

When Sass and I first started running a bar we used to argue all the time. Pub work is extremely stressful, customers don't always see it. If it's not the Council pestering you for something, it's a music licence company wanting their dues, or a rep wandering in trying to sell to you, then the utility bills arrive, then a random local wants to talk to you about their problems and so it goes on.

The trade sees many relationship breakdowns, it truly does. If you can master the art of the trade, are secure in your abilty to talk to you partner and bounce off them and accept that you will no longer be able to give each other undivided attention as you literally become a public figure, then you'll be fine. My relationship changed with Sass over time and we evolved into a different type of couple from what we'd set off from.

We came out of the trade simply because the lease ran out and then of course Sass passed away last month. This has left me even more determined to not let all these factors that were put against me get me down. Once you have the 'trade' in your system it's hard to leave it. I miss it terribly. It's an ongoing challenge.

My advice to you is if you are with a pub company - leave immediately. There is no profit in it, you end up working for them to line their pockets and seek alternative premises and build up something that you've created for yourself without her help. Follow your heart. If the 'trade' has grabbed you then you'll end up doing it for the love of it, but don't be a fool and be out of pocket for doing it. Take a step back and look at your situation. If I can be of help, please message me. I've been in the trade for years and am happy to advise.

Buffy

I'm sorry for your loss buffy............

my problems seem very small in comparison?

hope your ok.

i wouldn't want to trouble you with my petty worrys?

:(

No, its OK, I'm getting on with life and the universe and really do not want to be wrapped in cotton wool by everyone. Happy to help.

You have a dilemma rather than a problem. Tell me more about it.

What sort of bar is it?

Why not try something different, that might make you more interested in it?

Continental Ale is big these days, you could open Chesterfield's #1 Continental Ale bar! I think you'd see a change in the customers too..

Heck, I'd visit :D

Is it a pub company? What sort of entertainment do you run? Do you have a PEL? How large is the public area?

Hey guys,

well its not really the bar itself............ its a nice bar. we are a different bar really as i'm from sheffield myself i've tried to put a few things in place that are different. things that people from chesterfield have seen before and its doin ok?

as you said classic rock: what the public dont see is the hard part?

you become a public figure......... in a way its like been famous. everyone knows your business: before you do?

but anyway...........

my dilema is i dont know which path i should take anymore. which road to follow.

P.s took your advice owdlad: took your advice.........

going on hol on sunday for a week......... think its what i need?

thanks again for all your advice?
:D :thumbsup: :banana:

Classic rock,

no its an independent supplier so the ties ok. its a 200 capacity venue (inside) 300 capacity (outside) we have allsorts of entertainment on fridays are really good?

:thumbsup: