My partner had is cat before I moved in and he won’t come near me if I pick me up and stroke him he freaks out and makes this loud like screeching noise. Then he flips out and scratches and bites me. I have never done anything to hurt him but I just wonder why he appears to be frightened of me :-( He’s about 18 months old now. Can any advise me on what’s the best thing to do?

How long have you been living there?

Hi,

About 9 months

If I were you, I would totally ignore him. Let him come to you.

I do but he never comes to me, thanks for your suggestion

Picking him up will just annoy him further. Put your hand out and let him sniff you then leave it at that, don't then try and stroke him. Some cats take a long time and you may have put yourself back a bit by picking him up.

Chicken or other treats, that often works :)

I agree with neeeeeek (for once! :lol: )

Play it cool, carry some chicken (or other favourite food) around with you and just drop it in his vicinity whenever you go near him. Make sure you have it on you if he chooses to come to you.

If he likes to play with toys, get some cat tickler toys that mean you can be a good distance from him and play with him (gently!).

You could even try getting a feliway spray and spraying it on your clothes :)

Alternatively - do what I did and wait til the cat gets to about 12 years old and mellows out :lol:

If you really want to win him over then Lotti has a nice chubby new hamster, he would love you for ever if you gave him that!

;)

Haha i dont think Lottie would appreciate that! I'll try the things out what you said tonight with him and thankyou all for you help xx

Make sure you are the one that prepares and puts down his food too - doent always work but if he is a foody type cat he learn to appreciate you more if you are the provider of his dinner! Good luck :)

Some cats just don't like being picked up- that could be part of the issue.

The idea about the food treats is a good one, but I wouldn't bother with cat tickler toys. All you need is a boot lace or a long piece of string which you can cast away from you towards him, sit calmly and quietly and just twitch the other end. The moment they pounce is a 'gotcha' moment because all you have to do then is to very very very gradually shorten the length of the string and you've got a cat interacting with you in a few months' time.

Some cats simply aren't archetypal 'cuddly' cats, but that doesn't mean that they don't like their humans around and get lots of reassurance from people being close. If he's got any feral background then it's possible that he will never like being picked up or cuddled, but for him a stroke on the forehead (without picking him up) may be the zenith of being loved by a human.

I've got a cat who simply won't be picked up by anyone other than me (and that includes people needing to seek hospital treatment- she's REALLY not joking about it) yet she comes to me and lies on her back in my arms while I fuss her tummy. It's not about a person thing for her, it's because I'm an honorary cat because I hand reared her. I'm not a human- she doesn't get on with humans. It won't change over time, but she's more comfortable in sitting near my BF now, allowing him to let her in and out and the like- he's been here 18 months.

My cat can be a **** with people when I am about but once he is left on his own he soon warms to the first person to come, give him food and a bit of attention!

Tell your boyfriend to go away for a few days.


:)

Haha - no you can't have the hamster. Nearly had a heart attack when I found him hanging by his foot from the cage and thought he had died! (He's ok now)

Smitch will be carried around now by me and absolutely adores fuss, she's mellowed out a lot (at one point you really couldn't pick her up without losing skin from somewhere!) but she's perfectly happy to lay at the bottom of the bed knowing that you're there and not have any attention particularly. :)

Mrs Puss was faaaaaar too high and mighty to ever allow herself to be picked up by a lowly human! Occassionally, if we behaved, she would allow us to stroke her and on special occassions sometimes lower her dignity enough to grace our laps with her precious paws.

Never would we have been allowed such a privilege if we were so rude as to attempt an approach without her consent :rolleyes:

Ah- but it's the unusual and precious moments of shared eye contact and long, slow blinks which make life more interesting!

A cat who loves anybody and everybody is no challenge. Getting the ones who are intent on having your arm off to offer you a snuggle is the best feeling.

:hihi: yes you're right! If ever I was deemed worthy of a visit to my knee's I hardly dare breath I felt so honoured!

She had us exactly where she wanted us did Mrs Puss :hihi:

:hihi: yes you're right! If ever I was deemed worthy of a visit to my knee's I hardly dare breath I felt so honoured!

She had us exactly where she wanted us did Mrs Puss :hihi:

I have a cat just like that! She won't let me pick her up, she goes mad. But my hubby well thats a different matter, he scoops her up like a baby and she just lays there all floppy.

She loves fuss and being stroked, but afterwards will spend ages cleaning herself, like we have contaminated her lovely clean fur with our mucky, greasy hands!!

We are honored if she graces our laps with her presence and then sit rigid all night cos we don't want to disturb her. It's the same in bed, she sleeps on me and I find myself in all sorts of contorted positions as long as she's happy!!

just ignore it best way or buy your own cat

My ex's cat hated me for the first 2 years we were dating because he belonged to her and I was stealing him. She would get his dirty washing out the basket and take it to his room as it smelt of him.

She eventually got use to me by me letting her take her own time and the following 4 years she was accepted me until she passed away. It might take a while but it's worth it if you let them go at their own speed.