IF YOUR PARTNER TRIED IT ON WITH YOUR SISTER WOULD YOU GIVE A SECOND CHANCE, AND THEN MEETIN UP WITH ANOTHER GIRL BUT ONLY WENT AS FAR AS KISSING HER??

if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Hiya Ruby_21

So your partner tried it on with your sister (did your sister tell you this or your partner)? And then met up with, and kissed another woman? Again, did your partner tell you this?

Well:

1) they may be trying to make you jealous, show you what you could be losing or getting you to show some emotion, or,

2) they are just after anyone in a skirt and don't care who they hurt, or,

3) someone has not told you the truth and is trying to split you up?

i was there when he tried it on with my sister!! he was messing around even hen i was there, but jumped on her when i went down for a drink. WAT IS THIS GUY LIKE, THEN HE BEEN RINGIN THIS OTHER GIRL AND HE MET HER LIKE TWICE AND THEY DINT GET AS FAR AS SEX.

HE ALWAYS TALKJS ABOUT MY SISTER AAKIN WJHAT SIZE HER BREASTS ARE ETC!!!

THE OTHER GIRL ADMITTED TO HAVE KISSED HIM AND SO DID HE IN THE END. I GOT THEN TO ADMIT IT, THE GIRL SAID HE WUD AVE SLEPT WITH HER IF SHE ALLOWED IT, N HE SED SHE WASNT EVEN THAT NICE TO SLEEP WITH. WHATS THIS GUY ABOUT

Would you drop the cap locks please ruby_21, it's considered shouting - even though you've got quite a bit to shout about.

I suggest there is something else you should drop..... this guy. He's messing you about and messing you up. You don't need this kind of behaviour. He's a loser, so lose him.....and fast!

Good luck.

Red

Ruby you need to grow some "balls" and get to grips with the reality which is your life. Sometimes the spark in a relationship just plain burns out... Maybe you're crap in bed, maybe you're boring, maybe your bad in bed... I don't know... What I do know is... you obviously have a problem with your life. You're posting... on internet forums. LOL. You got no friends to speak to ?

I think you should sit down, and start to make some serious decisions about your life.

Let me tell you one thing about men, we don't change. Chances are he'll do it again, maybe he's trying to give you a signal.

How old are you anyway ? 16 ? 20 ? When relatioships go bad, much like movie franchises it's time to end them.

I'm reminded of a quote, alittle something that Robert Frost said, that I find get's truer and truer every day...

I know but three things of life... it goes on.

Edit : the more and more I read your post the more I feel sorry for you, you're writing in plain caps the reality of the situation. it's like your asking us to validate your own opinion. You know he did wrong... all you're doing is waiting for one of us to agree with you right ? And if enough of us do... What ? You'll dump him?

You're spineless.

wel ive lost my friends because of him, so i dont have ne1 to talk to thats why am on here!! am 21.

im pregnant to him now, so i feel more alone as i cut contact with him and moved two months ago. but i still think about him, and he calls me still, but i feel down when i talk to him.

Ruby I'm not going to lie to you, You are in one ****ty ass situation. It stinks, it's hard, it sucks, he sucks... and it's complicated. But you still need to think about this head on... And make some important decisions. Nowerdays all girls do is spending countless hours with a guy they know aren't right for them.... I thought you said "your partner" but now u said ur seperated.

you sound like a retard to me. sort it.

and he calls me still, but i feel down when i talk to him.

Are you ****ing serious ?

Jeeez... you feel down when you talk to him and you're considering getting into a relationship with him again.

Man I am so glad I'm not you.

i have separated from him, but because am pregnant am havin second thoughts. you see theres too much to tell and its all coming out in bits n pieces. im not a retard mate, you really are making me feel better!!

so what shall i do then, advise me.

i feel alone and i cant exactly get into a relationship with another man as im pregnant!! what shall i do? i have only one month to go and il be having my baby, but it all seems too much for me.

i just think if i got back with him would it make me feel better, i get bored all day and im nopt used to being out of a relationship.

so what shall i do then, advise me.

Are you 100% serious ?

i just think if i got back with him would it make me feel better, i get bored all day and im nopt used to being out of a relationship.

Either way this relationship you have WILL end, if it's now or tomorrow or in a month or a year... And you'll be left with nothing anyway.

May as well get it over with, dump him, and start sorting your life out asap. If you take him back u'll still be in this same situation down the line anyway, NO?

Maybe the baby will change him ? Has he offered to change ? Do you belive him ?

"WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU CAN ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER"

Originally posted by ruby_21
i feel alone and i cant exactly get into a relationship with another man as im pregnant!! what shall i do? i have only one month to go and il be having my baby, but it all seems too much for me.

i just think if i got back with him would it make me feel better, i get bored all day and im nopt used to being out of a relationship.

Oh my days. Pure jokes. Im sure before you even posted this thread that you knew what the answer to your questions were. Why would you wanna be with a man that obviously doesnt give a fluff about you.

IMO If you go with him then you deserve all you get

IN MY OPINION

I don't think anybody with a brain and with that information would advise you to take him back...

Sooooo what are u waiting for ?

ur very sarcastic arent u, but thanks for your advice. I dont know if he will change after the baby, we havent talked about meeting he just asked me where i live now. and i said i dint want to talk to him, then just ended up cryin the rest of the day.

im 8 months preg and its draggin, what shall i do when i feel bored and lonely, i always stop myself from ringing him.

what shall i do when i feel bored and lonely

Is it really that hard ?

To find something to do with your time ? People get over relationships every day you know, you don't just die of boredom. You just find new stuff to do... sometimes it requires you to "think".

ERM.. You won't have time to get bored when you have the baby. Think about that.

Not going to reply to this thread anymore I don't think, but as a final thought...

If you're not capable of deciding simply how to fill your time, and not switched on enough to dump a man...

How can you handle a kid ?

I feel sorry for that kid.

Originally posted by ruby_21
i feel alone and i cant exactly get into a relationship with another man as im pregnant!! what shall i do? i have only one month to go and il be having my baby, but it all seems too much for me.

i just think if i got back with him would it make me feel better, i get bored all day and im nopt used to being out of a relationship.

You feel all alone? You're eight months pregnant. Not long to go now before you won't be alone, as you'll soon have the responsibility of a baby 24 hours a day.

But I'm not so sure that you have got your head round this baby business when you post " but it all seems too much for me."

Still feeling sorry for yourself? Why not get back with the father-to-be of your child? Of course, as soon as you're pregnant again, he can always snog your sister, and flirt with whoever he wants. Time to get real! He's a loser - but do you really want to be a two-time loser yourself? Getting back with him won't make you feel better, except in the short-term. It's a recipe for disaster.

Still, it's your life. As you say, you're not used to being out of a relationship. So, this loser will satisfy your craving for a relationship will he? In that case, why not go for it? Just ban your sister from visiting though - best to avoid putting temptation in his way isn't it? I'm not saying you can't trust him, after all, he's already proved he is a reliable guy.......but better to keep a constant eye on him don't you think?

Sweetie, this isn't a good situation. But you know that. You'll be having your baby in a month. I have two children, and I know how the last weeks of a pregnancy just leaves you so tired. Like someone pulled a plug on your energy.

Redrobbo gave you some excellent advice, and I'd have to agree with him. You don't need this man in your life. He's emotionally abusive, and I don't think you have a future with him. Thank your lucky stars you're not already married to this jerk.

Do you have your mother or a good friend to help you through this time? Someone who can help with the baby, and help you as well?

When the baby gets a little older, things will get easier, and you can get more things done. Until then, I'm afraid your life will pretty much revolve around your child.

In the meantime, try to keep your chin up and not feel so overwhelmed or depressed. Take care of yourself, eat right and get enough rest. You're having a baby! Your child is more important than any relationship problems you may be having.

PLEASE! Stay as far away from this guy as you can get! Don't let him belittle you, play with your emotions, sweet talk you into getting back together with him, or manuever you into a situation where you're cut off from everyone important in your life. He made a pass at your sister in front of you. That's just awful, and I can't imagine why you even have to ask if you should stay with him.

I think deep down you already know you should kick him to the curb. He's not worth the trouble, and frankly, I'd rather be alone than have to put up with a man who treated me like that. Unfortunately, you will always have a connection to him because of the child, and he may try to use the baby to manipulate you.

But remember, there are worse things than being alone. Good luck, Kiddo.

:) Sierra

Hi ruby, I can only echo the previous two people's comments and emphasise that no matter what you think of your previous,(yes I mean previous because you need to put him behind you) you have now to think only of yourself and the baby that will soon be coming into your life.

Good luck with the baby, and keep the forum informed on how things are working out for you ;)

You must be feeling terrible.

He makes it clear he doesn't love you, he is making you feel worthless deliberately when you are in a very vunerable position.

He is nothing.

You won't always be like this, at the moment you have no ammunition to fight backwith but after your baby is born things will be different . You will be stronger and will put your life back together, a life that doesn't include him.

Having a baby makes you tough because it''s your job to protect it, and these feeling appear when your baby is born
so you will take n c..p from him.

Good Luck with your life, I wish you every happiness

hazel

Originally posted by ruby_21
ur very sarcastic arent u, but thanks for your advice. I dont know if he will change after the baby, we havent talked about meeting he just asked me where i live now. and i said i dint want to talk to him, then just ended up cryin the rest of the day.

im 8 months preg and its draggin, what shall i do when i feel bored and lonely, i always stop myself from ringing him.

ruby,

I assume this is your first child and you are pretty young. Remember what you are going through, its a stressful time and your emotions are probably all over the place. Give yourself some time.

If you decide to get back with this guy then do once the baby is born, tell him you don’t want him out of your life but you need time to sort a few things out, and that you will be busy soon.

Have you asked him if he wants to come to the birth? If not ask him, it would be a very powerful experience for you both!

But if you decide you want to meet someone else, then just wait until after the baby has arrived. You can meet someone even if you have a baby, not al guys are put off from that.

Talk to your friends and you mum about how you're feeling. They should be able to put some prospective on it.

Good luck.

ruby c'mon, you posted about this guy being violent and cheating on you and were giving very good advice now your posting this. 2 different incidents in a few weeks. i know its hard i been through similar. i am a single parent and its hard work but my daughter is worth it. i know you will be feeling very fed up waiting for the birth as you will be uncomfortable and finding it hard to do anything but chin up and get on with it. if you think too much about things then you will only get more down and fed up. in your previous thread i offered to talk to you in pm about it and give you some support that way but you did not reply.

good luck anyway.

i wont tell you to dump this guy as the only way your going to know what you want is to go through it as i have and once you do you really know how you feel.

Originally posted by ruby_21
i feel alone and i cant exactly get into a relationship with another man as im pregnant!! what shall i do? i have only one month to go and il be having my baby, but it all seems too much for me.

i just think if i got back with him would it make me feel better, i get bored all day and im nopt used to being out of a relationship.

Ruby I'm so sorry that you're in this position - but you're not the first and you won't be the last.

I'm inclined to agree with everyone else that your guy is never going to make you happy, so from that point of view you might as well make the break now.

As regards friends, you go to antenatal classes presumably? They're a PERFECT place to make new friends who are in the same position (ie pregnant) as you. And I bet some of the other women in the class will be single parents too...... it's not the worse thing in the world, y'know, tho I can imagine it feels pretty daunting right now to you.

But better on your own getting your life back together than trapped in a loveless relationship. Honest!!

I wish you well, girl.

:)

PS why not take savbaby up on her offer and PM her? Or me - we're both single mums, tho my boy's not a baby anymore.

Originally posted by redrobbo
You feel all alone? You're eight months pregnant. Not long to go now before you won't be alone, as you'll soon have the responsibility of a baby 24 hours a day.

But I'm not so sure that you have got your head round this baby business when you post " but it all seems too much for me."



That just had to be written by a man :mad:

Red you've clearly no idea of how 'alone' you can feel when you're on your own with a baby. 'Specially when you have the responsibility for that baby 24 hours a day.

And as to the poor girl saying 'but it all seems too much for me'- of course it does!!!!! I can see why she feels that at times. On her own, bored, lonely, heavily pregnant, broken up (I think lol) with the partner....Can't you see why she'd feel overwhelmed by it?

Men! :rolleyes:

There has been some very good advice above- though some was rather harsh.
Ruby, I get the impression that you are posting on here as a general cry for help rather than specific relationship advice ( I'm sure you know that you ex partner is bad for you- your self esteem and confidence has been shattered as a result and so that causes a host of other problems). It must be very scary for you right now, wondering how you will cope with your baby- your hormones and your tiredness will be adding to your problems. You may find (like my friend did) that once the baby is born you will find the strength to put this guy out of your head and focus on bringing up your child the best you can. This is maternal instinct, but it doesn't always come naturally, especially if you are depressed- you need to concentrate on your wellbeing as well as your child's. Don't be afraid to ask for help (not just friends and family, but professionals as well). My health visitor and GP have helped me though some very difficult and scary times. Make the most of opportunities to meet other mums at ante natal classes etc, and as your child gets older you will find the chance to meet other people and make friends (playgroups, school etc.). Good luck with everything:)

Dump him now .Men like that never change dont waste a minute more of your time on him unless you are desperate.

Originally posted by ruby_21
IF YOUR PARTNER TRIED IT ON WITH YOUR SISTER WOULD YOU GIVE A SECOND CHANCE, AND THEN MEETIN UP WITH ANOTHER GIRL BUT ONLY WENT AS FAR AS KISSING HER??

get rid of the muppetyt. He'll only keep doing it.

Originally posted by ruby_21
IF YOUR PARTNER TRIED IT ON WITH YOUR SISTER WOULD YOU GIVE A SECOND CHANCE, AND THEN MEETIN UP WITH ANOTHER GIRL BUT ONLY WENT AS FAR AS KISSING HER??


I once caught my boyfriend with my little sister and i hit him so hard he aged 5 years. And her well she got what she deserved. Dont give him second chance he dont desereve one sisters in fact any relative is a no no go area i mean do really do you wanna be in a situation where the phrase your sister always did it can be used. Think about it.

Poor Ruby, IMHO, I would suggest that you try and get this loser (by popular opinion) out of your head until you have had the baby, by which I mean, deal with yourself and your precious child, and when you feel strong enough, you can offer him access to his offpsring if you decide to do so. It is hard enough bringing up a child in a family with a loving relationship when you are not depressed (even tho' I did have PND for ages) so goodness knows how hard it could be in your situation.

Your baby needs and deserves your undivided attention and energy and any energy wasted on this person is energy your baby is not getting. Also, babies pick up on their mother's moods, feelings, emotions and thoughts so rid yourself of as much negativity as possible in order for your baby to have at least their last month 'inside' as a happy one.

Strive for a natural birth; PND rates are higher after caesarians and also, your maternal instinct is stronger when you have had a natural birth which will tie in nicely with what hatter said.