Last week, 2 of my Servants were on Holiday from Twaddle Manor, So The shopping did not get done.

So yesterday, I sent my Butler, and our lasses Lady in Waiting to do some shopping.

Thing is, they went to "Netto". (I understand it's where you porpors shop)
They were armed with some "Harrod's" (i am a regular visitor to Knightsbridge) carrier bags to put the 7p tins of beans in.

At the checkout, the till girl said they had to use "Netto" Bags (something to do with advertising).

Everything was fine (Apart from spending nearly 3 Quid ) Until our neighbours, Lord and Lady Haggle$hite spotted them with Netto bags.
OH! the shame.
Thing is, I should be playing Polo at the weekend with Lord Haggle$hite, Do you think i should go? and if I do what excuse can i make up? :confused:

your servants have to eat. Make him look up to you with stories of how little you pay them and how that forces them to shop at netto.

i think you should go and stand in the noughty corner and wait whilst the men in white coats come to take you away:D :partyhat: :mrgreen:

Originally posted by Cyclone
your servants have to eat. Make him look up to you with stories of how little you pay them and how that forces them to shop at netto.

That's Brill, Never thought of that.
I will also tell lord Haggle$hite that they have to work on Christmas day, For Gruel. :thumbsup:

Know how you feel old boy! I went up to town last Thursday for a spot of lunch at my club and ended up swapping yarns over a glass of port with old Cholmondley Smythe from Norfolk. Anyway cut a long story etc etc ended up snoozing for a while in a comfy chair -result - out in public wearingBROWN SHOES AFETR 5pm! Hah pater would have had me flogged.

How about:

On returning from Harrods the carrier bags split (never has been the same since Mr Al-Fayed took over!) and your lasses ladies in waiting were forced to resort to cuffing a grubby child chimney sweep to the ground and commandeering his sub standard but vitally intact netto bags.

Social standing retained and some good old fashioned meancing of the lower classes to boot. :hihi:

Lower classes?! WTF?! Listen you, there is nothing wrong with shopping at Netto mmkay?! Some of us can't afford to shop at your fancy waitrose and other over-rated "cool" stores...

And no, we are not low class for shopping at Netto, we're just not snobs like some people.

Originally posted by Rich

And no, we are not low class for shopping at Netto, we're just not snobs like some people.

Rich, I'm guessing you've missed the spirit in which this thread is meant? We're not all port swilling upper classes, we are in fact proles having a bit of a giggle. I shop there on occasion, I also have been known to indulge in humour from time to time as well :)

Originally posted by Rich
Lower classes?! WTF?! Listen you, there is nothing wrong with shopping at Netto mmkay?! Some of us can't afford to shop at your fancy waitrose and other over-rated "cool" stores...

And no, we are not low class for shopping at Netto, we're just not snobs like some people.


hee hee hee.

Dearest Viking,

One can only imagine the predicament you find yourself in. I was in a similar situation but a few weeks ago at the Greenback family estate.

It saddens one to admit to the fact, but I have recently become quite attached to the modern invention that goes by the name, I believe, of 'Television'. Crass of me I know, but my nephew Eggbert purchased the blasted thing for me, and it was only polite to check all the electronics were in working order. You can't be too sure how many of these things have been made using the hands of Indians, can you?

In any case, I happened to stumble, one balmy evening, across a transmission featuring a group of young people, many of whom seemed to be speaking in tongues. They would repeatedly throw their hands in the air, dance manically and howl like hyenas – but my hypothesis that the transmission was the work of some religious mission or other was soon trumped when one of the young ladies, to put it blunty, deemed it necessary to parade her plentiful bosoms around the group.

I must admit, I was both appalled and strangely fascinated.

At least, that was until I turned around in my seat to see Major Plum-Chutney straing back through the window, mouth agog at the sight before him.

I haven't been invited to share a malt with him since, despite my protestations that it was all a terrible mix-up, and I fear for my social standing. Curses!

You could tell your neighbours that there was a terrible mistake with the printing of the carrier bags they saw.

Then add that your servants were shopping at "Otten" where the rich folk from Emmerdale purchase their wares.......

Not to worry viking. Just ask Lord and Lady Haggle$hite what THEY were doing at Netto.

If that doesn't work, do what rich people the world over do when confronted with something unpleasant. Ignore it like it never happened.

:) Sierra

Originally posted by Sierra

If that doesn't work, do what rich people the world over do when confronted with something unpleasant. Ignore it like it never happened.
:) Sierra

Rich people the world over spend as little money as possible - that's how they get and stay rich ;)

Parsimony is a well established trait of the Engish upper classes, viking can expect to be congratulated on his frugality. :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Rich
Lower classes?! WTF?! Listen you, there is nothing wrong with shopping at Netto mmkay?! Some of us can't afford to shop at your fancy waitrose and other over-rated "cool" stores...

And no, we are not low class for shopping at Netto, we're just not snobs like some people.


Sense of humour failure, or what.....

Ahh, Viking one can truly empathise dear boy.

In antithesis to your predicament the Clan Kiddick once found themselves in Harrods having done a London Family Ticket Saver on the coach.

We were meant to be going to Brent Cross but the first drop off point was Harrods. As we were all busting our detruser muscle (http://www.urologyhealth.org/glossary/popup.cfm?id=529) after an arduous journey the lavs in Harrods seemed a good place to alight early.

Now one has to understand that the Clan Kiddick is fairly large & a restroom trip is not always a quickie. I myself was in need of a #2.

Regardless to say the driver wouldn't wait & left with 20 empty seats.

We decided to spend our giro's in Harrods anyway & had took along our Netto 'Bag-for-Life' bags as we're keen environmentallists.

The checkout ladies did appear to be chewing a wasp at every checkout upon production of our baggage.

Inevitably the Clan Kiddick, unable to agree on who was carrying what, ended a tiring day in a fist-fight.

Isn't family life a priviledge?

so thats who bought all the Ferraro Roche when I was in there last night :rant:

me and Sharon were right looking forward to them after watching Eastenders.

I bet you bought all the Lambrusco as well :rant: :rant:

now we'll have to use the last of the Blue Nun :rant: :rant: :rant:

Originally posted by viking
Thing is, they went to "Netto". (I understand it's where you porpors shop)
You should get the butler to show you how to use a spellchecker ;)

Actually, you can get so much more into a Netto bag - they're like a yellow polythene TARDIS.

Look how much I managed to tip out of mine (http://photos.sheffieldforum.co.uk/albums/userpics/10001/forumtshirt.jpg)


:thumbsup:

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Actually, you can get so much more into a Netto bag - they're like a yellow polythene TARDIS.

Look how much I managed to tip out of mine (http://photos.sheffieldforum.co.uk/albums/userpics/10001/forumtshirt.jpg)


:thumbsup:

I never reaised that they were that stretchy ....:D

It is no shame to shop at budget "grocers" like Netto, Lidl and Aldi. In most of Europe you would be considered "mentally ill" to pay more in a posher shop for the same type of goods if they were available in a budget shop.

In Germany, for instance, Millionaires, Aristocricy and Film stars use Netto and Aldi. Snce I saw this with my own eyes I have enjoyed using these stores myself.

Viking, in answer to your question, yes you can still play polo, but be sure not to serve the netto offerings at your picnic lunch!

If you do find your staff have not supplied you with sufficient high quality produce, decant the inferior product into a superior container and you may just well pull it off :thumbsup:

It's sorted now.
In fact it was NOT the Haggle$hites driving past ,But Elsie and Billie Clutterbucket (The window cleaner).

He has the same car as Lord Haggle$hite, so face saved.
That'll teach me.

Its poundland for us in future. :clap:

Viking,

This matter of social standing is far from resolved. Serviles are notorious for gossiping far and wide and enjoy nothing more than discussing the shortcomings of their betters. I suggest you remonstrate with them and issue an edict to the effect that they will be discharged without references and given a damned good birching should word make its way into the commoner gossip circles.

The proles are much like a good rug, given a sound thrashing twice a year one can walk all over them for the remainder of the time. I beat my manservant on a regular basis and thoroughly reccomend the experience .

Cordial regards


Captain Swan Vesta BSC, SSC (Bronze swimming certificate, Silver swimming certificate)