Dear all,

I have a 4 weeks old little boy and I am going a bit mad. I would very much appreciate some advice on the following:
1. He has some crying spells that he doesn'd want to calm down for about 2 hrs, then he feeds and is fine, but by then me and my habby are getting very stressed out and agrevated. Does anyone knows why this is happening and if there is anything we can about the crying?
2. I breast feed the little one, and have a very itchi sculp and dry skin. Is that normal?
3. Does anybody knows when is ok to express milk? I really need to start sharing the feeds with my husband as I am very sleep deprived at the moment.
4. My tummy hasn't gone back to normal since I deliver and looks horible. Is it the way it suppose to be and need to work out or it is just me?
5. Is it ok to do house work with the little one sleeping in another room? Being getting very stressed on leaving him.
6. How do I understant if he has winds?

Apologies for too many questions, but I feel clueless about things.
Thanks in advanced for any suggestions.
Ali

hi ali. Its all so scary at times and you are only normal and being a good mum to have worries and q's. I found spirming about or pulling away meant my lo had wind but i bottle fed and i think it may be diff for breast feeding. You can definatly leave lo alone for a while if you are busy, if you are worried try a monitor. You should soon be able to get into a routine soon (babies love that) and it will help alot. I would recomend speaking to your hv too. Do you fancy trying a mother and baby group, you should get lots of advice and support and there are lots around (i recomend jellytots- see megathread at top of parenting) it sounds like a break would help. Good luck. Rinniex

Hi,

I think I'll try and number my answers to match your questions.

1. Could the crying spells be because your little boy is hungry. You say he stops when you feed him. Babies have growing spells and feed more to build up more milk. When I was breast feeding I found that during these spells Icould be feeding upto every half an hour -very tiring but they do pass. Or maybe your lo has wind. Rinnie has described how you might know. I think there are things which you could try to help like Infacol and Gripe Water (although I've never used them and I'm not sure what age you can give them from).

2. I'm not sure if the skin and scalp are normal but I have eczema which was really aggrivated whilst I was breastfeeding so it could be that the normones are affecting your skin. You could go to see the doctor about this.

3. I think different people find expressing at different times successful. I found the only time I could get any milk out was first thing in the morning before my lo had his first feed. Other people have told me that it's good to feed on one boob and express off the other at the same time. I think you have to experiment and see what's good for you. I gave up because it took days of expressing and freezing bits to make enough for one feed. Other people seem to find it really easy though. I only had a hand pump, I think electric ones are more effective.

4. I think at the moment you could be doing your pelvic floor exercises which also exercise your lower tummy muscles. I think it's too early to start doing full on stomach work outs. I think it varies from person to person. I know some people who have flat stomachs and look like they've never had a baby. I am now back to my pre pregnancy weight but my stomach is still saggy and not how it used to be and my son is nearly 2. Breastfeeding may help and you could speak to your Health Visitor about when you can start proper exercise.

5. I used to do housework whilst my baby slept in another room provided he was in a safe place. I just checked on him occasionally. Alternatively I carried him around the house with me in his Moses Basket.

6. Wind - I think Rinnie gave a few symptoms. My lo never really had it so I'm not sure but I think drawing up the knees is one of he main ones. Other people will be able to tell you more.

Hope that helps. Good luck with everything. It's a stressful time whith a new born baby to look after, recovering from giving birth and trying to carry on as normal. It does get easier as the weeks pass by.

Hi,

For the crying, if you see you baby is crying a lot especially at night and for a long time and nothing you do calms him down, then it could be colic, and in that case, go and see a doctor as they have some medicine they can give your baby.
I breastfed my daughter for the first 3 days but it hurt me too much and started expressing straight away, it was hard as not much milk would come out but the more you express the more you produce milk and by 3 months i was able to express a huge amount of 16 ounce in the morning!!! so you just need to be patient.

I have heard it takes up to a year for your uterus to go back to its normal size, keep on using (or start using) cream especially for pregnant women as it moisturises your skin, i used that during all my pregnancy and even now after 5 months and nobody would know i was ever pregnant....

Let me give you an advice: Get your baby used to noise as much as possible, i even hoover right next to her bedroom door and nothing wakes her up, you really have to get her used to noise from the very early age or you'll be in reight trouble later on...

Sometimes i try to wind my daughter for ages and nothing comes out, so i lay her down and if i see her uncomfortable, crying or anything like that then i know she has wind :O)

Dont worry very soon, you'll know exactly what your baby needs, you will understand his cries :O) good luck

Dear all,

I have a 4 weeks old little boy and I am going a bit mad. I would very much appreciate some advice on the following:
1. He has some crying spells that he doesn'd want to calm down for about 2 hrs, then he feeds and is fine, but by then me and my habby are getting very stressed out and agrevated. Does anyone knows why this is happening and if there is anything we can about the crying?
I guess my first question would be are you feeding on demand? Because if you're feeding to a schedule, you may be better moving to on demand, i.e. feeding when baby is hungry. So when they cry, you feed. Never mind schedules and stuff, that comes later.
Otherwise, I'm not certain, as I have never had a colicky baby (and believe me, I don't take that for granted for a minute), but I thought they would cry more after a feed rather than before.

2. I breast feed the little one, and have a very itchi sculp and dry skin. Is that normal?
As Corbyn said, it could well be a hormone thing. See your doc, they can give you some cream and emollient bath on prescription, so free to you.

3. Does anybody knows when is ok to express milk? I really need to start sharing the feeds with my husband as I am very sleep deprived at the moment.
I expressed directly after feeding usually, if I recall correctly. Used to get a good amount of milk. Also when my son went to bed, before i went to bed, and first thing in the morning. As for when you can start - as soon as you like, you can't do it too soon.
I saw a good idea I might have tried if I'd known about it recently...splitting the night into 2 shifts, e.g. from 9 pm to 2 am ,and 2am to 7 am. You each take one. That way you both have the opportunity to get 5 hours at least of rest...you need 4 straight in order to function properly.

4. My tummy hasn't gone back to normal since I deliver and looks horible. Is it the way it suppose to be and need to work out or it is just me?
It is sooooo way to early to be worrying about that! ;)

5. Is it ok to do house work with the little one sleeping in another room? Being getting very stressed on leaving him.
Yes. In fact, call me bizarre, but I've learned to enjoy my time doing some of the housework, music on, singing, child-free for a few minutes.

6. How do I understant if he has winds?

Often he will arch his back and/or draw his legs up to his belly and cry.

Great tips for winding...sit baby on knee leaning forward, support him with hand he is facing and pat with the other. Works really well on little ones. Remember to support the head.
If he just won't burp, then supporting him well, move your arms so he is facing the ceiling for a second and then bring him back up...gently so as not to make him ill, and try burping again.
For really difficult wind (and a giggle), hold him under his arms, face to face with you, and 'tick tock' him gently from side to side, like the pendulum of a clock, then resume burping as normal. Amusing and effective :hihi:

Apologies for too many questions, but I feel clueless about things.
Thanks in advanced for any suggestions.
Ali

Don't apologise, that's why we're here. Don't worry, you'll get to grips with it, and you'll soon feel like you could do it all with your eyes shut :)

Hi All,

Thank you for all the advice...sorry for late reply, just managed to get to the computer. Little one sufferes with bad colics! Giving him infacol and that other stuff -gripe water-but doesn't do much. Although is breast fed, I give him the bottle with my milk once per day and that worsen the colics, plus his greediness doesn't help (if he can eat for whole england he will!). I don't know what else to do for his colics, so any suggestions will come very helpfull!

Cheers
Ali

RE the crying thing - you could try some fabulous calming reflex techniques if feeding isn't getting the results each time...

This was an absolute godsend (http://thehappiestbaby.com/excerpts.html) for us, and prevented us from tearing each others hair out or worse. You can get the DVD or book or both. On amazon the DVD is only about £7 - the best money I spent EVER!!!

RE your tummy - it does take a while - I remember my tummy feeling all weird and spongy, and still going "triangle-like" for some time after the birth of my son. Yes it is annoying, but trust me it does go. I'm amazed when I look at my tummy now that I actually had a baby growing inside it!!!! the size takes a bit more time to go down usually - most people say about the same time as gestation, so about 9 months is average, but by no means everyone fits this

RE Sleep issue - it can be overwhelming and so tiring, but keep going - expressing isn't for everyone, and it does take a while when it does work. It is really important in the early days that you breastfeed on demand in order to keep the supply up.

RE housework - many people will say this, but it can wait - your baby is of course your first priority, so can you maybe enlist a bit more help from others if you are anxious to have it sorted. Alternatively, have a look into slings - I have loads that you can try out, and see what works, which enables you to be hands free. If little one is centre of the action, they are less likely to be crying, and they get a cuddle at the same time as you get jobs done. PM me if you'd like to try a carrier out - they can be soo comfy, and can also help with persistant, in between feeding crying - it emulates them being in the womb so it turns on their calm reflex.

RE the wind issue - you may find that from watching the above DVD / reading the book, that this issue becomes less so - you'll have to watch it and see the wonderful magic secret. Alternatively, I've copies that you can see if you are interested, and come round to try on slings. :)

Hope all goes well.

colief drops for colic was only thing that worked with my son, there expensive at £10 a bottle but he is now like a different baby......highly reccommend them, xx

Look at what you are eating might help, too

My baby got worse when I had

tomatoes
onions
cabbage
chocolate
tea
coffee
peppers

My diet in the first 15 weeks (I did not dare eat anything else before then) consisted of:

bread with butter
porridge
muesli
meat, potatoes and carrots
bananas

no advice re the bottles as I never used them but afaik there are different teats around so maybe have a look at some there?

Rachel had really bad wind and we got some MAM bottles which have a special anti-colic valve in the bottom. They are fab and I would recommend them every time.

They are a bit of a pain to sterilise because you have to take the whole lot apart but well worth the effort.

Hi there hope all's going well, the Dr Browns anti colic bottles come highly recommended - expensive but i am told well worth it.
Re wind (and build up of colic) your doctor should be able to prescribe you some colief drops free (otherwise they are £10) they will also precribe infacol if you ask. I wind my daughter halfway through a feed and at the end - you can sometimes tell its wind if their upper lip is white (returns to normal colour when burp passed) also try cycling the legs to ease the pain - usually stops the crying - although you may be at it for a good half hour!!
Hope all's going well

The only thing what I can add is the dry skin and itchy scalp could be caused by dehydration, breastfeeding makes you very thirsty even if you don't always realise it. Drink a lot of water throughout the day and whenever you're feeding and see if it helps at all.
Good luck and the worries are totally normal!

Hi hope all this great advice has helped. Some days my little one would cry and cry and eventually have a big poo so it could be constipation as well as wind - little babies do suffer sometimes! We used Infacol and it seemed to help, also lying her face down across your lap and wiggling your legs up and down so you massage her tummy can help. My girl was also really difficult to burp and it would take a lot of patting her on the back before anything came up.

It is tough when they just cry and cry but I promise you every day it gets better until now my little girl is 9 months and rarely cries, just whinges which is much more bearabe! people say the first 6 weeks are the worst and by 12 weeks you are getting the hang of things so stick with it. xx

My daughter had colic quite badly for a while when she was 3 months old, we tried gripe water which worked brilliantly for a while then suddenly stopped working at which point we switched to infacol. Infacol is suitable from birth onwards, gripe water from 3 months I think. She's off everything now and doesn't seem to be having any trouble with colic although we do wind her half way through her feed (sometimes 2 or 3 times) and stop, give her some tummy time and a bit of a play then carry on with the feed. Laying on her tummy really seems to help bring up the wind and the play time just gives her a bit of a breather and seems to help her finish the feed without screaming half way through.

My stomach isn't back to normal yet and my little girl is 5 months old now, I'm not too worried as it does take a long time. I'm just trying to eat well and not have more calories than I need considering I'm not getting out as much as I used to these days.

The major symptom my little girl had for trapped wind was bringing her legs up to her stomach, I've also heard they can look a bit yellow round the mouth if they've got wind. Sometimes it can take half an hour of winding or even longer to get rid of the problem, just be persistant. I've found sitting my daughter on my knee and gently bouncing her works wonders, sort of doing the daddy's little pony rhyme... Making sure I have her head supported of course.

Hello everyone,
thank you so much for all the advice. I keep using infacol and seems that it has start working! my little onenow brinks winds up! takes a bit, but is coming out! he still have small colics but are more managable.

I just have another question, does anybody know a good baby group in S6 (wakley-hillsborough or even crooks area) area? I have the paper that the health visitor gives out and I tried one, but they were not many people there - just another laby. I 'll appreciate if anyone can recomend one, as I 've been getting a bit lonely at home lately.

Thank you,
Ali

infacol and warm baths is also useful and baby massages on the stomach will help ease aswell