cosywolf
22-02-2009, 20:12
I was thinking about this recently after one of those 'conversations' in the kitchen with the washing machine, tap and radio on while the kids watched the tv turned up loud in the other room (by us) and all the doors shut between the two rooms. :rolleyes:
*Is it okay to argue in front of your kids?
*If you don't argue in front of them ever, is there a danger that they will grow up not knowing how to cope with the inevitable arguments their relationships with others will throw at them?
*In that case, do you have a responsibility to have only arguments that you can bring to an adult, reasoned close in front of your kids, and leave the bickering to after bedtime?
*Or is it okay for them to witness a certain amount of bickering and rowing because it's only human...and if so, how much is too much?
I had a varied and shall we say eclectic upbringing, and if I see adults arguing in front of children (in fact even as a grown up, in front of me) I cringe and feel anxious and fretful and upset.
Therefore I generally try and keep bickering light and playful or save it till later when the kids are out of the way. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way, no-one is perfect, so inevitably they have seen the odd row. Hopefully it won't scar them for life. I think the really huge rows I remember as a kid were scary because of the intensity of them, and tht kind of thing should definitely be done far far away from kids.
I like to think that perhaps seeing that parents can have mild rows and then be friends again later helps them realise that they can do the same with their friends, and a little argument isn't the end of everything. Or does seeing arguments make them argumentative?
Is it all about how you handle it? Should you talk to them about it afterwards, or pretend it didn't happen?
Anyway, enough of my rambling...go for it, tell me your views. Do you go to outrageous lengths to avoid rowing in front of the kids? Or do you find yourselves yelling at each other over dinner like the proverbial fishwives, with wild abandon?
*Is it okay to argue in front of your kids?
*If you don't argue in front of them ever, is there a danger that they will grow up not knowing how to cope with the inevitable arguments their relationships with others will throw at them?
*In that case, do you have a responsibility to have only arguments that you can bring to an adult, reasoned close in front of your kids, and leave the bickering to after bedtime?
*Or is it okay for them to witness a certain amount of bickering and rowing because it's only human...and if so, how much is too much?
I had a varied and shall we say eclectic upbringing, and if I see adults arguing in front of children (in fact even as a grown up, in front of me) I cringe and feel anxious and fretful and upset.
Therefore I generally try and keep bickering light and playful or save it till later when the kids are out of the way. Of course, it doesn't always work out that way, no-one is perfect, so inevitably they have seen the odd row. Hopefully it won't scar them for life. I think the really huge rows I remember as a kid were scary because of the intensity of them, and tht kind of thing should definitely be done far far away from kids.
I like to think that perhaps seeing that parents can have mild rows and then be friends again later helps them realise that they can do the same with their friends, and a little argument isn't the end of everything. Or does seeing arguments make them argumentative?
Is it all about how you handle it? Should you talk to them about it afterwards, or pretend it didn't happen?
Anyway, enough of my rambling...go for it, tell me your views. Do you go to outrageous lengths to avoid rowing in front of the kids? Or do you find yourselves yelling at each other over dinner like the proverbial fishwives, with wild abandon?