Smudge went to the bridge this afternoon.

She went to the vets as she deteriorated again, it transpired that she was severely diabetic and all of her other blood results were also high. The vet reckoned there was also problems with her stomach as it felt 'rubbery'.

They explained that my free spirited outdoorsy cat would have to become an indoor cat and have twice daily injections, be fed regular at the same time and all aspects of her lifestyle would have to be routine. That wasn't Smudge, she wouldn't have liked it all and it would've all been for me. She's spent 12 years with a cat flap in the door and loved to be out climbing trees.

I made the heartbreaking decision to send her to the bridge and held her head in my hand, stroking her while she purred all the way to the end.

She made it so easy for me because she put up no resistance and purred and cuddled me.

None of us really expected her to come home and I gave her a wet food pouch as a treat before we left.

We wrapped her in her favourite throw (my bedding - but she loved it) and I brought her home. I laid her out in the bathroom where she'd been laid the last few days so that Smitch (her litter sister) could see she was gone and then Dad buried her in the garden.

I can't believe she's gone and won't be laid next to my pillow tonight but I know it was the kindest thing for her.

She was my first animal friend - she was my baby, my Smudge... I'll miss her so much but I know it was the kindest thing to do.

Run free at the bridge, Smudge and don't forget me xx

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b10/Lottiepics/poser.jpg

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RIP smudge, big hugs to you lottie

Oh Lotti im so sorry, she was beautiful.

Run free at the bridge Smudge xxx

Oh lottie, she looked beautiful, big hugs to you at the difficult time :cry:

Aww lotti im very sorry to hear about that! I hope your ok xxx hug

I am so very very sorry Lottie.

Run free at the bridge Smudge RIP little girl xx

got a few tears there lottie, thats soooo sad, but i suppose we all have to sday goodbye to our best friends, my god i dread that day:(

so sorry for your loss it is the best thing to do

Thanks all,

I always thought Smudge would make it to a grand old age. 12 isn't all that impressive really.

Smudge was the most playful, lively kitten-like cat I knew even at 12 and to see her just laying around the house, not playing and not interested in going out was so sad.

This morning, Smudge and Smitch sat next to each other and just looked at each other - usually, Smitch would hiss at Smudge but she didn't, she just sat looking at her.

She was a very, very special little cat and I'll never ever forget her.

Oh honey- I'm sending you big hugs. I know how hard it can be to lose a furry soul mate.

You did the best you could for her and the line of what is fine and what is stressful is drawn in a different place for each animal.

She's not struggling any more and that's the paramount thing.

Please give Smitch a snuggle off me, if she'll let you.

Thanks Meds, Smitch is very quiet - they really didn't get on but it's definitely affected her.

I'm sure she'll take advantage of my comfy bed tonight though :) Will be strange to only have Smitch at one end of the bed though - usually have Smitch at my feet and Smudge next to my head!

I'm confident in the knowledge that Smudge's quality of life would've been worse and the vet wasn't convinced that treating the diabetes would make her better as there were other problems too.

I'm sorry she's gone lotti, it's never easy losing a friend. xxxxxxxx

RIP kitty x

I'm really sorry Lotti :cry:

Run free at the bridge kitty, climb lots of trees now.

so sorry it's always so sad when you lose one of your little friends

Oh Lotti, am so sorry for your loss hun. It's not a good day for pet bereavements is it? Just looked at her pictures - she was a very beautiful cat. They are all at the Rainbow Bridge now. xx

Thank you Snagglepuss, she was an absolute stunner :)

aww Lotti I am so sorry for your loss, Have a big hug xxxx

Hearing these stories is always so difficult to hear. She's a lot better off where she is now :

RIP Smudge

Aw, she was beautiful!
I know how hard it is when you have to say goodbye but you have chosen to do what was right for her. I'm sure you'll have lots of happy memories of all the time you had together which, when the sadness eases, will bring you some smiles.
I'm sure you'll treasure the relationship you had with her forever.
Best wishes at this sad time
xXx

Thanks all,

Lily thank you - she was very special and we had some great times :) The vet said that she wasn't suffering when she went. I personally think that even if she wasn't in pain, she was suffering to an extent but she's made me feel better in telling me that she went before she really suffered.

The vet and nurse were both absolutely fantastic and I'll be sending them a thank you card, they dealt with it so well and with such compassion. Smudge couldn't have gone more peacefully.

really sorry for your loss xx god bless

Thank you johnty x

So sorry to hear about Smudge Lotti, I had a cat with diabetes once too and it proved impossible to manage,I gave her injections and did everything they asked but it got progressively worse.
I guess what I am trying to say is try not to doubt that you did the right thing, you may well have saved her a lot of misery ((HUGZ))

Thanks moon - the vet seemed very doubtful that she could be stabilised and she said even if the diabetes was controlled, there were other concerning things about her blood test and physical exam.

I asked the nurse (who does the stabilising) outright if she would put a cat of hers through it and she said no.

When I realised it would mean feeding her separately, not allowing her to eat Smitch's food, not allowing her to go out etc. as well as two full days of hourly blood tests at the vets I knew that wasn't a life I wanted for Smudge. It's not how I would want to have remembered her either.

I'm sad that I have to remember her being poorly (as she had been this last week) but at least the vet reassured me that she went before she really suffered.

So sorry, this was sent to me when I recently lost one of my dogs and two cats. The words are just lovely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night
"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go."

When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me.




author unknown.

So sorry, this was sent to me when I recently lost one of my dogs and two cats. The words are just lovely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."

God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry,
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.

There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night
"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.

God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go."

When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me.




author unknown.

Ah, that's so beautiful

Thanks moon - the vet seemed very doubtful that she could be stabilised and she said even if the diabetes was controlled, there were other concerning things about her blood test and physical exam.

I asked the nurse (who does the stabilising) outright if she would put a cat of hers through it and she said no.

When I realised it would mean feeding her separately, not allowing her to eat Smitch's food, not allowing her to go out etc. as well as two full days of hourly blood tests at the vets I knew that wasn't a life I wanted for Smudge. It's not how I would want to have remembered her either.

I'm sad that I have to remember her being poorly (as she had been this last week) but at least the vet reassured me that she went before she really suffered.

I'm so sorry to hear about Smudge - especially after the apparent good news about her in your other thread.

You're so right - quality of life matters more than quantity, and it was brave of you to be able to make the right decision for her - not you. She wouldn't have been happy living like that, and you knew her well enough to realise that was the case and the kindest thing to do was to let her go.

It's never easy, no matter how many pets you've had, to come to terms with having them put down, even when you know it was the right thing to do, so try and be kind to yourself and take care.

im so sorry Lotti,but you made the right decision,you gave her the last act off love you could give. run free & sleep amougst friends little one

Aww Lotti I am so sad to hear about your little Smudgey. You like me with Yoda did the right thing by her. I am sure she is having a whale of a time with other the other furries at the bridge and is looking down at her mummy saying " I love you and will never forget you mummy " xxx

Im so sorry to hear your news.

I cry every time I read a post like this.

Run free kitty

xx

I'm sorry to hear about this.

We know exactly what you're going through at the moment :(

Thanks all.

I'm not coping so well today, had to do the filming for Friends for Life (which was rubbish lol) and it totally exhausted me so now I'm just crying at the drop of a hat. I keep looking out at where she's buried and wishing she was inside in the warm.

I'm quite surprised that Smitch is so badly affected to, she keeps going to the last places Smudge was and digging and scratching.

Thanks all - I really appreciate the kind words. HelenaC I haven't been able to bring myself to read the poem just yet, but I will in time - thanks.

Thanks all.

I'm not coping so well today, had to do the filming for Friends for Life (which was rubbish lol) and it totally exhausted me so now I'm just crying at the drop of a hat. I keep looking out at where she's buried and wishing she was inside in the warm.

I'm quite surprised that Smitch is so badly affected to, she keeps going to the last places Smudge was and digging and scratching.

Thanks all - I really appreciate the kind words. HelenaC I haven't been able to bring myself to read the poem just yet, but I will in time - thanks.

That is really heartbreaking isn't it? I have had that when mine have died too and it really hurts, Smitch is bound to miss her friend of many years and cats are funny, they don't seem to interact but really they do.

Just give her lots of extra love and cuddles and let her sleep with you, she will soon come round....sorry to hear that your having such a bad day :sad:

Such little things that leave such a big impact on your heart!!!!!

Big hugs to you Lottie xxxx

My heart goes out to you Lotti, and without a doubt I feel you did the right and kindest thing.

We are employed to look after a house of 5 cats, 3 of which are diabetic, the worry last week with the snow to get there on time so their mid-day injections weren't late was not something I'd recommend on a daily basis. Also finding a diabetic cat in a hypo is not nice for you or the cat and I truly beleive you have prevented suffering and distress for Smudge in the future.

it's horrible being a responsible and caring owner, sometimes, isn't it? :(

So sorry about your girlie, Lotti.

Be comforted that you did the right, and loving thing by her, and let her go over the bridge in a peaceful and dignified way, with the person she loved, and who loved her, by her side. You haven't let her suffer, and a having peaceful end, like that, is all anyone can ask, really...

Big hugs to you all Lots, you know i'm always here.x.x.x.

Thanks all.

I'm not coping so well today, had to do the filming for Friends for Life (which was rubbish lol) and it totally exhausted me so now I'm just crying at the drop of a hat. I keep looking out at where she's buried and wishing she was inside in the warm.

I'm quite surprised that Smitch is so badly affected to, she keeps going to the last places Smudge was and digging and scratching.

Thanks all - I really appreciate the kind words. HelenaC I haven't been able to bring myself to read the poem just yet, but I will in time - thanks. My bold

That can be so difficult to cope with. I have, much to my shame, found myself shouting at a cat or dog behaving like that, as if the poor little beggars could actually understand what I was saying about their friend being dead and not coming back. It was particularly bad when my ma-in-law died, as she spoiled the cat and dog rotten and they adored her. In the end, I had to move her chair out the room, because I couldn't bear to see them looking for her sitting in it all the time.

All you can do is take one day at a time, and allow yourself to grieve at your own pace and in your own way.

lotti , my shoulders are not that broad but there for you should you need them

Thanks guys,

Yes it is pretty heartbreaking to see Smitch as she is. They were litter sisters and as kittens they shared a radiator bed, once they hit adolescence, they never got on. Smudge loved Smitch but everytime she went near her, Smitch would hiss at her. However, they did live in close proximity for a long time and would team up against intruding neighbourhood cats.

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it means a lot. I've never had to take a pet to be put to sleep so it's a first for me. I always expected to feel some sort of guilt like I'd sentenced them to death and some doubt about if it was the right thing but I have not even a shadow of doubt that I've done the right thing by Smudge.

She'd never have thanked me for keeping her going and she was so poorly I wasn't going to risk pushing her and her not improving.

Thank you all so much for your kind words, it means a lot. I've never had to take a pet to be put to sleep so it's a first for me. I always expected to feel some sort of guilt like I'd sentenced them to death and some doubt about if it was the right thing but I have not even a shadow of doubt that I've done the right thing by Smudge.
She'd never have thanked me for keeping her going and she was so poorly I wasn't going to risk pushing her and her not improving.

You're so right about this. It's the hardest, most painful thing we can do for our pets but often the kindest too. You *know* when it's the right time, as you clearly did. My heart goes out to you - I've just read your message from yesterday and cried.

Thanks Irene,

I still can't believe she's not coming back but if I don't think about where she is (ie. the fact she's buried in the garden) then I can think of her happily. She was always so full of life, it almost didn't feel like it was her that died because she was so poorly yesterday.

Lottie, I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been away for the weekend and only just seen this. Sending you a big hug at this difficult time. It is so hard to loose a furry friend, we do miss them terribly when they are gone.

Run free Smudge Xxxxx

Oh Lotti:(

Unfortunately we know exactly what you are going through-it's not a good week is it? There's not really much I can say apart from I am told it gets easier-and soon you'll be able to smile when you think about her quirks, just like thinking of Jeremy makes me laugh and cry at the same time! Maybe she and Jeremy are keeping each other company at the Bridge?:)

Thanks guys,

LitleMermaid - I'm sorry about Jeremy, no definitely not a good week, what with snagglepuss's ratty too.

I still miss her and am struggling to believe she's never coming back but I am beginning to be able to smile well, ok - not cry - when I think of her!

It's just as well I still have her sister too, otherwise it'd be a lot harder. Smitch wants plenty of fuss at the moment and of course the dogs keep me busy too, but the wormer I ordered for Smudge arrived today... thankfully, I'd also ordered it for Smitch so I just tried to think 'ok, ok it's for Smitch!'

Im so sorry, run free Smudge. annax