as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused:

Get yourself a babysitter and come out with us or even come to one of the forum meets sometimes letting your hair down doesnt half help aswell you may just go home with a mahusive smile on your face. I always hate my birthday as its arround may bank holiday as all my family bugger off on holiday so annoys me. Hope your feeling a bit better today.

Yep why don't you make some new friends on here - or even join a baby group and make friends with some other mums, they will be just as stressed as you and you could all go out together?

Get yourself a babysitter and come out with us or even come to one of the forum meets sometimes letting your hair down doesnt half help aswell you may just go home with a mahusive smile on your face. I always hate my birthday as its arround may bank holiday as all my family bugger off on holiday so annoys me. Hope your feeling a bit better today.


ive been out with my family to town and i usually feel better but that usually dies of after a couple of days and im back to how i was, plus my partner doesnt get home till 7.15pm so its late to start gettin ready to go out, and im feeling like a whale plus ive got broken toes at the mo. it feels bad that ive had to do a thread on how i feel to ask for advice when i used to have so many people in my life to talk to about things tbh, maybe im just feelin sorry for myself i dont honestly know how i feel anymore. maybe im too demanding of the people around me?

Yep why don't you make some new friends on here - or even join a baby group and make friends with some other mums, they will be just as stressed as you and you could all go out together?

they are usually in the day time and i have a full time job so i cant make them.

as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused:

Hey chicken.... you have got some proper friends who I know will listen and support you. We, your friends, have not forgotten about you and never will... I am here as is Rachel to chat or whatever. Just give us a very subtle nudge ;) :D

Hey chicken.... you have got some proper friends who I know will listen and support you. We, your friends, have not forgotten about you and never will... I am here as is Rachel to chat or whatever. Just give us a very subtle nudge ;) :D

You know this already (as I'm talking to you on MSN right now), but I second AO's sentiments - I'm here for you as much as I can be, and if there's anything ever that I can do... even if you just need a chat, let me know! *hugs*

ive been out with my family to town and i usually feel better but that usually dies of after a couple of days and im back to how i was, plus my partner doesnt get home till 7.15pm so its late to start gettin ready to go out, and im feeling like a whale plus ive got broken toes at the mo. it feels bad that ive had to do a thread on how i feel to ask for advice when i used to have so many people in my life to talk to about things tbh, maybe im just feelin sorry for myself i dont honestly know how i feel anymore. maybe im too demanding of the people around me?

See if this cheers you up http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eJzj2yLwC14 its very funny and I doubt your very demanding but Im not suprised your down if you have kids to yourself all that time. If you ever fancy a coffee or what ever just pm us or if you need a chat anytime your welcome. You just need some you time without the stress's of the kids to worry about then you will feel great again x

as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused: My bold

Sounds remarkably like depression to me! Perhaps not as bad as you had the first time, but I think it's a strong possibility. Episodes of depression can vary in severity and in the symptoms you have. Get yourself to the doctors, lass, and see what help they can offer.

I take my hat off to you for coping with working full-time and having 2 children to look after, especially at such a stressful time of year.

See if this cheers you up http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=eJzj2yLwC14 its very funny and I doubt your very demanding but Im not suprised your down if you have kids to yourself all that time. If you ever fancy a coffee or what ever just pm us or if you need a chat anytime your welcome. You just need some you time without the stress's of the kids to worry about then you will feel great again x

Very Funny,
Especially the "metal" from Argos!!!!

as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused:

Katy,
Sorry, I got side tracked with the link.
I hope you feel better, my wife is expecting a second child in May and I hope she doesn't feel the same emotions as you.
I hope you feel better soon
Regards

Your friends probably assume (perhaps correctly in some cases where going out is "at the drop of a hat") that you won't be able to make it.

Have you been honest with your friends and said "I know I can't always make it out but I miss you - how about we all set a date when I can get a babysitter and we can have a real night out to remember"

If you're also going to work then you're not short of people to talk to, so you're possibly a wee bit depressed. However, all's not lost! When you both get home, put the little ones to bed and have a nice meal together and take time to spend with your OH and an hour or two chatting to friends online - it doesn't matter if you don't go out on the lash with them, you can have good times chatting with friends on Facebook or MSN as well as anywhere else :thumbsup:

But make sure you give yourself the time and don't just get home and do housework etc!

And vent if you like :D Get a blog and post your rants on it, it's really therapeutic.

Aw hugs honey.
I think it's realising that friendships can't stay the same forever and adapting yourself.
Meeting new people is important as your interests and available time have changed. Relying on one or two people isn't as easy when you get older, i used to always be a best friend person and then get really annoyed when i got shunted down the priority ladder behind hubbies and then when kids came along i felt well shunted down. I've accepted that I need lots of friends for lots of different situations and it's better to take people along who like doing stuff than begrudgingly drag people to stuff. It doesn't mean my best mate is still not my best mate just that her priorities are different and there are lots of things both of us are interested in that the other is not at all.
I think perhaps part of your frustration is you are such a busy person but when you want some you time, the accessibility is not always there.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
Hope you come out on Wed xx

Why? Honestly?

Because babies are cute for about ten minutes, then they cry and pooh.

Because their parents can't talk or think about anything else and this can become boring very quickly.

Sorry, but you did ask.

;)

Why? Honestly?

Because babies are cute for about ten minutes, then they cry and pooh.

Because their parents can't talk or think about anything else and this can become boring very quickly.

Sorry, but you did ask.

;)

lol! im not an idiot i know my non parent freinds dont wanna sit in a pub/or where ever we are with me with my annoying whingey/scream/poohing/burping/mardy/hyperactive/nightmare children so i arrange a babysitter when ever i get to meet up with them and im not one of those parents that go on and on about my children when out with my freinds im aware they dont wanna hear about my little darlings for hours on end.
just wanted to clarify this point. ;)

Hi katie just read your post and as an aged parent children 13 and 21 remembe this well. I cant think how I coped with the feeling of isolation but it did get better.It does seem from your post that you might have a touch of post natel depression and maybe you should talk to someone as I remember that with with my second child I was gobsmacked to get the same flat feling after birth even though it was milder.As for the rest do stuff when you want to and dont feel guilty if you are not up for clubbing yet!! take care and if you want to email thats okay x

hi just wanted to add to post from Liberty Bell that as long as you dont start taking photos latest artwork sats records nobelprizes with you,you dont have a problem. I used to make apoint of not talking about my kids when I went out so I did not bore them. Now I find my genuine friends are interested to hear what they are doing and also what I am doing. Sorry Katie but that last post seemed abit harsh as you are obviously feeling abit fragile take care x

Very Funny,
Especially the "metal" from Argos!!!!

Pleased you liked the link it is good isnt it:hihi:

as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused:
Bold - Can't say I have. :hihi:

If OH can babysit, or anyone else babysit and you both come out, a few forum meets are as good as any. New people and nice regulars. :)

You seemed quite upbeat at the last one :) Great company with Edna for a start. I know you felt a bit pants at the end.. the sign of a good night, when you don't want it to end. Plenty more though. :)

It's not just having kids that is causing less socialising Katy, it just happens I think, as we add to our years, with old friends especially, as people move on in their lives. Sometimes feel perhaps left behind. It doesn't have to be that way. Meet new people, more circles, more openings.

(avoids using the 'D' word, or the 'PND' words). I don't like either. :)

It happens both ways Katy - we've lost a number of friends to kids :(

this Christmas, the people we used to holiday with have arranged to go away with another family with kids of the same age - something they started doing a lot of as soon as they decided they were going to have kids

It's pretty crap really. We think kids are great, but I notice when we get invited to parties with another group of friends these days, we get looked at like we're some sort of predators if we try to take part in anything going on kids wise :mad:

At least in the first group they're more than happy that I wind up with a pack of kids to look after whilst the adults 'socialise' (read 'drink' :P ) :D

as the title says, since having my second child i feel a little bit well ok if im honest its a lot isolated in terms of socializing i dont see anyone outside my own family or work colleges anymore i very rarely go clubbing or anywhere now as all my freinds seem to be too busy doing their own things (which is ok i guess) but is it normal too feel so small and insignificant and unimportant after having a second child? i didnt feel like this after i had my first child but i didnt really have a social life before i had him anyway. its getting to me know as im starting to get upset a lot and crying over every little thing that happens im feeling ignored and frustrated with my life i feel useless and a little alone aswell i feel i need to talk to someone bu no one is available right now so i guess im venting. has anyone else felt like i do after having a baby? i had postnatal deppression when i had my first and it isnt that this time its not as bad a feeling i think i need to go out and make new freinds maybe?

please help im lost :confused:
Don't take this the wrong way but my missus see a less of her friends which have children because its all they talk about and she says its boring listening to someone bang on about there kids all the time.

Hope this helps :)

somebody already posted that kopman - and Katy's already pointed out that she doesn't talk about her kids to her mates coz she knows how dull it is to non-parents

Please read a whole thread before pitching in with something designed to make somebody feel worse :mad:

Don't take this the wrong way but my missus see a less of her friends which have children because its all they talk about and she says its boring listening to someone bang on about there kids all the time.

Hope this helps :)

I think it depends on the company. I love to hear about my 'long term/life long' friends' kids. My friends lives are a part of me, and their kids' lives are a part of them.

I've met Katy a few times, and she's never bored me once. (I've probably bored her more, and I have no kids :hihi::hihi:)

I've met Katy a few times, and she's never bored me once. (I've probably bored her more, and I have no kids :hihi::hihi:)


lol!!! you actually always make me laugh!

CHEERS to u all im feeling a little better today as ive had a good think.

xxx