Right, tis the season where the kneejerk reaction type threads are doing the rounds about the festive season being cancelled cos a religious group, political party, man down the street, the neighbour's dog and whoever else has decided that it offends them. As it is the season of good will and cos I want to poke fun at such tedious and absurd stories, I thought it would be a good idea to work this for our own entertainment.

So, you forum lot, start getting your creative hats on and start thinking about this little, but fun task I have in mind. Please read the following headline and finish it off with your own silly comments. So, for example, Christmas has been cancelled cos..... the queen had frankly had enough of the church of england and decided to convert to scientology.

Over to you :)

Santa has been arrested on terrorism charges, he's been invading Russian air space with no prior permission

we can't be guaranteed snow and therefore all the photos taken won't look christmasy enough.

.... the killing of millions of turkeys has been deemed as genocide and therefore become illegal.

Health and safety has decided climbing down chimneys is dangerous

.......santa can't get his fat arse down the chimney

...... santa was mobbed and fatally wounded by a baying crowd who objected to him entering and working illegally in their country.

What I meant to say was... the new legislation that forces all chimneys to be widened to accommodate the expansion of the man in the red suit is now in force however the estimated time of completion will be approximately 2010 by which time I suspect due to lack of mince pies the weight will drop off and therefore will be a complete waste of time and money

...because Father Christmas couldn't provide documentary evidence that his CRB checks were in order.

...because a baying mob of Sun readers beat up Father Christmas after they mistook him for a paedophile due to his fondness for having children sit on his knee.

....the jokes found in crackers are offensive to anyone with a sense of humour.

...because Father Christmas was sacked after he refused to comply with EU directive 4.1.2 which states that the phrase 'ho ho ho' is offensive to women.

santa's little helpers are on a ongoing strike, demanding minimum wage and pension rights. Also, animal right activists have fire bombed his lapland home cos of his apparent mistreatment of the ruldoph and co.

Santa's "Elves" are suing him for being hightist

Cos i dont want to get 8 pairs of tweezers in my crackers again :hihi:

we cant be bothered....lets all just get drunk instead:)

... Santa's Workshop invested the savings for materials in an Icelandic bank... Every child on the planet will receive an email containing the hyperlink to the Blue Peter iPlayer

...an error in the time-space continuum detected by Stephen Hawking has shown that Christ was born on Midsummer day in 7 BC and so would conflict with the celebrations at Stonehenge

...an error in the time-space continuum detected by Stephen Hawking has shown that Christ was born on Midsummer day in 7 BC and so would conflict with the celebrations at Stonehenge

Well did you ever ! :(

Well did you ever ! :(

No, I never did!! :o

No, I never did!! :o

Its about time you did then!:D

Its about time you did then!:D

I shall think about it! ;)

I shall think about it! ;)

Have a good think over Christmas will you ?

Have a good think over Christmas will you ?

I can't--it's been cancelled!

I can't--it's been cancelled!

Ah, yes, better wait for New Years Eve then !:cool:

I say so.....:rant:

santa was charged with breaking and entering and has been given a community service order.

:hihi:

Nice one

...Santa's reindeer have been culled as they were believed to a major foot and mouth risk

The Save The Brussel Sprouts League (TSTBSL) have decided that sprouts deserve a proper burial rather than the current end of thier demise. Therefore TSTBSL have decreed that plunginging sprouts in cold water overnight and then dunking them in boiling water is against thier Sprouts rights and have declared Christmas well and truly over.

it was deemed too cheery and all the bah humbugs out there petitioned against it.