:confused:
To the woman who worked with the man who killed my daughter
I wish my daughter could have come home shocked

Annie,

I'm really sorry about the tragic loss of your daughter. It's awful to lose anyone especially a child I'm sure. Without wanting my post to be construed as insensitive I'm just wondering what the nature of the poll is and to whom is it aimed? I'm sure that nobody on this Forum feels that grieving for the loss of your child is somehow "over sensitive" in anyway. You've lost a child, it's natural to feel a mixture of sadness, anger and grief but is this the right way to approach it?

there is little one can say to this post except how sorry I was to hear of your loss

take care of yourself

...I dont follow?

Originally posted by annie66
:confused:
To the woman who worked with the man who killed my daughter
I wish my daughter could have come home shocked

:confused: I don't understand your post at all. What do the options in your poll mean?

whats this about Annie?

My thoughts and best wishes are with you "annie66", I can't begin to contemplate what you must be experiencing right now.

Originally posted by boyface
...I dont follow?
My understanding of this question is as follows,

"annie66" feels that some comments made on the forum were insensitive and / or showed too much sympathy for the position of the driver rather than the victim in the recent tragic accident at Park Square.

So the question is, do people understand how annie66 feels regarding the death of her daughter, do you:

1) Think that she is being over-sensitive

2) Understand her great grief

Sorry if I misunderstood or misrepresented your position annie66, just trying to help.

:)

Is this regarding the accident by Ponds Forge the other week?

When it comes to losing a loved one, of course people understand how you feel, don't think its wrong to be sensitive about whats happened though.

the woman discussed on here that she worked with the driver and he was sent home alone in shock and that intimated that this should not have happened

Originally posted by annie66
the woman discussed on here that she worked with the driver and he was sent home alone in shock and that intimated that this should not have happened

Then let me put this to you. Would you rather he didn't go home in shock and felt no remorse for what he did?

I don't believe she meant this shouldn't have happened, and I don't believe she meant shock in a way detrimental to your daughters life, but that he was shocked at what happpened, and remorseful.

I think this is the post annie66 is refering to,
Originally posted by shelley1
Tragic ACCIDENT, the driver was not arrested and allowed to go home a very shocked and upset person.
Link:
http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=40066&perpage=15&highlight=killed%20tram&pagenumber=3

Originally posted by annie66
the woman discussed on here that she worked with the driver and he was sent home alone in shock and that intimated that this should not have happened

in that he shouldn't have gone home or he shouldn't have been sent home alone?

Originally posted by foo_fighter
I think this is the post annie66 is refering to,

Link:
http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?threadid=40066&perpage=15&highlight=killed%20tram&pagenumber=3

I know, I read it originally and I don't see what the problem was.

It was a tragic accident and therefore the driver was allowed to go home and not charged. Would annie66 rather that the driver was not shocked and upset but unaffected by the events or even happy and proud at the result of his actions.

Perhaps if the original poster had used better puntucation it wouldn't be possible to interpret the sentence as 'he was allowed to go home shocked and upset'.

It's a tragic accident and my heartfelt condolences go out, but I think annie66 needs to stop looking for a scapegoat. It's been determined that it wasn't the drivers fault, and he was shocked and upset. If you need somewhere to vent your anger, perhaps look at how the driver managed to end up somewhere he shouldn't have been.

First of all let me say how sorry I am to have heard about your loss. This is clearly a tragic accident, although that will be little comfort to you at this time.

I think the decision to place a poll on the forum was borne out of your understandable feelings of anger and confusion at this time. I do think it is unhelpful though. It is possible for one to be completely sympathetic to your terrible situation whilst also expressing empathy towards the driver of the vehicle that caused your daughter's death. I'm sure many of us on here who drive vehicles can only begin to understand the immense feelings of guilt and shame that the driver will be feeling.

Of course, over time, he will learn to live with what he has done. I know that for you, peace of mind will be harder to find and that is clearly very understandable indeed. It isn't about taking sides though; for those of us granted the benefit of distance from this awful accident can and should be able to express sympathy to all involved. A poll on an internet forum merely cheapens this event and more importantly, won't help you get through the next weeks and months.

You have my deepest sympathy.

Originally posted by SheffieldSean
First of all let me say how sorry I am to have heard about your loss. This is clearly a tragic accident, although that will be little comfort to you at this time.

I think the decision to place a poll on the forum was borne out of your understandable feelings of anger and confusion at this time. I do think it is unhelpful though. It is possible for one to be completely sympathetic to your terrible situation whilst also expressing empathy towards the driver of the vehicle that caused your daughter's death. I'm sure many of us on here who drive vehicles can only begin to understand the immense feelings of guilt and shame that the driver will be feeling.

Of course, over time, he will learn to live with what he has done. I know that for you, peace of mind will be harder to find and that is clearly very understandable indeed. It isn't about taking sides though; for those of us granted the benefit of distance from this awful accident can and should be able to express sympathy to all involved. A poll on an internet forum merely cheapens this event and more importantly, won't help you get through the next weeks and months.

You have my deepest sympathy.

I was thinking of adding my own thoughts to this thread until I read this. I agree with SheffieldSean completely, and deepest sympathy also goes out to Annie66.

I would also like to make a quick point in response to a comment earlier in this thread that Annie66 is looking for a scapegoat. Perhaps she is, but until we have been in her situation (and I sincerely hope none of us ever are) I don't think we really have a right to comment on that.

With that in mind perhaps we should do as SheffieldSean suggests and bring this thread to a close, or at least reserve it completely for kind wishes towards Annie66.

Annie66 - Best wishes to you and I hope you eventually manage to find some peace of mind about this terrible accident.

Originally posted by Hook
...It's been determined that it wasn't the drivers fault...
Has it?

I wasn't aware that the coroners inquest had even been held.

Originally posted by Hook
...stop looking for a scapegoat...

...look at how the driver managed to end up somewhere he shouldn't have been.
Erm, what?

How's that not looking for a "scapegoat"?

:confused:

Annie, you also have my deepest sympathy.

Annie - I really do not think anybody was being disrespectful or insensitive about this tragic accident. It must be horrendous for you and your family and my thoughts are with you.

Human nature as it is the 'could it have been avoided' factor has been discussed on the forum with most comments being asked about the signs around the area and reports of seeing vehicles going up there previously.

I don't think the reference to the van driver was meant to be disrespectful to your daughter or yourself. But a comment that they were upset which is totally understandable in these circumstances. It must be an incredibly hard thing to deal with - an awful feeling of being responsible for the death of another person. Hard to comprehend.

Foofighter is right in that the Coroners Report will hopefully be able to answer your questions into how this happened and hopefully make suggestions to be followed up on how to prevent this occuring again. So nobody elses family will have to suffer what you are going through.

Take good care.

much sympathy i myself have gone through the same sort of thing but in so many ways it was very different a friend of mine was murdered it was a great loss as i had known him since i was 13 he was murdered in a very brutal way and he was a the tender age of 17 i knew his ex girl friend who rang me up in a terrabel state allthough i wasnt much help as i was unable to speak from trying not to cry myself and to be strong for her i believe that there if somthing after death and she will be watching same as my friend is watching
a message to every 1 who has lost sum 1 dear to them
everything happens for a reason and god works in strange ways but dont be sad because they will be keeping an eye on you and you know they wont want to see you upsett