Bailey, my eldest boy is 5. He's always been a very bright boy, sometimes to bright for his own good but that's another story.

He outsmarted the teachers by day 4 of reception. He realized if he played dumb, he would get 1 on 1 attention from the teacher. He did this by pretending he didn't know his farm yard noises. Ever since his behaviour has gone from bad to worse.

He's disruptive, aggressive (pushing kids over), speaking over the teachers and generally being a pain in the butt.

I have a feeling he's getting bored because they are not moving fast enough for him. I did warn them he would go this way as he had done in his previous school, I moved him from there because they couldn't cope with his over demanding nature and his fast progress. They were trying to pull him back instead of encouraging him to go further, and this caused the same problems we are having now.

It seems I now have 2 options.

I can either spend months going to and from school, picking him up for being disruptive etc, or I can home school.

Can anyone else shed any light? Any further idea's?

the textbook answer would to be to have him tested - which I disapprove of

I assume teachers are less able to cope with kids like this these days as they have to stick to rigid regimes and farm kids through tests which means they have to concentrate on dragging the slower ones up instead of concentrating on progressing all kids in the class

Are you ready for ditching your own college study to take up educating your kids?

I'd at least look at the support groups in the area so you're well equipped with the facts to make your decision on

Good luck Peaches :)

I'd be willing to change to night classes, as its both a night and day course.

I have to put his needs first, and if it means waiting a few years more to do what I want to, so be it

do private schools still do scholarships btw?

at the very least I'd have him do some psychometric tests as evidence that he's 'gifted' as it used to be called, before we started splatting lots of negative labels on kids if they didn't fit the educational model the government wants them to fit

I'm not sure, there is a private school not 10 minutes walk from where I live too

Is there anything in his diet that could be causing this ??

There's been a lot of scientific proof that diet can be linked to problems in bahaviour !!

Have you chatted to your health visitor ??

I would also recommend making your child as cruel as it seems ''entertain themselves'' for a period of time at home ...I found my youngest son was very demanding when his too older brothers were at school and worried he might have the same problem adjusting into nursery and school life that I would encourage him to do something independently most days.

:)

He doesn't eat rubbish, so I don't think its his diet

He will play with his toys on his own, but gets bored easily, or starts tormenting his brother

He doesn't eat rubbish, so I don't think its his diet

He will play with his toys on his own, but gets bored easily, or starts tormenting his brother


It's so difficult to pinpoint so I sympathise with your frustration...there's nothing worse than having an unruly child !!

Sometimes it doesn't have to be 'rubbish' diet ...sometimes there can be a food intolerance affecting behaviour !!

Good luck

:)

Peaches, he sounds so like me it's untrue

if his teachers were prepared to set him something to do from the next class up, and make him feel like he was getting somewhere, would he cope better?

in fact, why can't they put him a class up for a couple of days and see what happens?

I'm going to see the Head teacher tomorrow hopefully, so I will see what they say

I would definately speak to the head because the school has a duty to meet your child's needs. Is he on the gifted and talented register? Is he just generally bright all round or does he excel in specific areas, eg: maths or literacy?

He's not on any register as far as I know, he's very bright in speaking and reading

I'm not sure, there is a private school not 10 minutes walk from where I live too

Birkdale school have scholarships and there is a bus from Doncaster , which one of the children i nanny for has 3 friends who come from bentley on this bus.

Sry to but in but my 2 yr old coming up to 3 is already starting to be like this. Part of his behaviour is his speech, as he is 'I think' too lazy to speak & he understands what is being said to him, but is very bright in the way he 'figures things out', etc like doing jigsaws for 6 yr olds, etc....

However, have you thought about referring yourself to a behaviour therapist (you can - ask the Head she should know how or doctors - my speech therapist did it for me), as they can give you tips on how to help him & what to do, etc, but what is good is that they liaise with the school too - to ensure they have a step by step plan for the child, which the teachers/aids have to stick too! They actually go into the school to assess them and see what they 'get up to'.

Might be worth a try. I'm hoping the behaviour one is as good as our speech therapist, as she's taught me how to do things slightly differently & it is actually working much quicker than I thought.
Hope you get success with whatever you do. :)

I was ahead of my classmates as a child. My mum has frequently told me stories of me questionning my teacher at 5! Maybe you are right in thinking that he needs some sort of extra mental stimulation. I am an inexperienced parent but maybe some sort of extra activity may help????

Sry to but in but my 2 yr old coming up to 3 is already starting to be like this. Part of his behaviour is his speech, as he is 'I think' too lazy to speak & he understands what is being said to him, but is very bright in the way he 'figures things out', etc like doing jigsaws for 6 yr olds, etc....Please don't ever call your child 'lazy'!

My youngest brother chose not to talk early on, but this was because part of his personality has always been to work things out fully before embarking upon them. He had no intention of taking the 'da' and pointing route to learning to talk as most kids do, he waited until he could understand full sentences until he tried to communicate with us

what he'd missed out in his calculations was that you need to practice making sounds to make them come out right, so he was very difficult to understand for a while, but if we didn't understand him he would be so embarrassed as to not speak again for a week :rolleyes: so we had to pretend to understand him for a while

at the age of two he decided he could do division, working out how many sweets 3 of us could have from the packet - from the comfort of his buggy and without the benefit of being able to see the sweets I'd counted :shocked: Can somebody tell me what year in school they usually teach this, as I'm pretty sure we didn't do it until the age of seven :suspect:

Sry to but in but my 2 yr old coming up to 3 is already starting to be like this. Part of his behaviour is his speech, as he is 'I think' too lazy to speak & he understands what is being said to him, but is very bright in the way he 'figures things out', etc like doing jigsaws for 6 yr olds, etc....

However, have you thought about referring yourself to a behaviour therapist (you can - ask the Head she should know how or doctors - my speech therapist did it for me), as they can give you tips on how to help him & what to do, etc, but what is good is that they liaise with the school too - to ensure they have a step by step plan for the child, which the teachers/aids have to stick too! They actually go into the school to assess them and see what they 'get up to'.

Might be worth a try. I'm hoping the behaviour one is as good as our speech therapist, as she's taught me how to do things slightly differently & it is actually working much quicker than I thought.
Hope you get success with whatever you do. :)

I think some children dont learn or chose not to talk sooner than others becuase they are worried about it. Also was the child born preminture becuase that can also have an effect sometimes. I dont think its right that you called your child 'lazy' as this is not the most encouraging way to get him to talk is it? Try and encourage him with whatever he does or try to say and you maybe suprised.

As for the opening poster, I think you need to speak to the school as others have said anf try maybe moving him up a class or something. How come the school havent picked up on how bright your child is? They should have really. I used to look after a little girl who was 6 she is so bright and will go far. She used to come home form school and tell me things I didnt even know lol. She got moved schools as well because they couldnt keep up with her.
Another girl I know when she got to secondary school they realised she was bright etc and she took everything a year early. Her GCSE's and A levels etc.

I have an extremely bright child who was reading fluently by the age of 2 1/2 . By the time he was in year 2 he had read every book in the school Library. The Educational Psychologist tested him at that age and found he was at an adult level for most things. I have not pushed for him to move a year up or have I considered moving him to a private school. Now he is at secondary school and is listed as Gifted in a number of subjects. I know he could be stretched more but I've seen so many students at University who had been hot housed and didn't know one who hadn't problems socialising. My son has learn't to mix with all abilities to change his use of language according to who he is talking to. If he took his exams early he would have to be in a class with older children and although he is years ahead in some ways socially he is just a child. Primary school education is tailored to meet the child so I cannot see why he is getting frustrated. My first child not quite so bright but in the top 5% of Mensa tried going to a more academic school but did very badly because the special needs she had were not met. It was a disaster. My middle child also listed as gifted in some subjects has switched off school not because he wasn't stretched but because he was bullied. All 3 have been well behaved at school and never been reprimanded. I don't think frustration is the reason for bad behaviour. I would suggest you work with the school to get to the bottom of this. Might I also suggest a reward system for good behaviour. This is something I started at home but continued when they went to school. We gave them points for certificates and over awards the school gave and gave money or treats when a certain total had been reached. Treats such as days out or computer software or books, not sweets. You could work out a system with the teacher where they stamp a card every time he/she thinks he has behaved well and then when he comes home with the card count the stamps and put points on a chart. Perhaps there is a toy or something he would really like. Set a number of points and make a chart so he can see how near he is getting to achieving that goal. Academic success isn't the only thing in a childs life.

Some of the comments towards mrsmum are very patronising. She only said she wondered if her child was lazy. She is obviously seeing help for her child from speech therapists etc. Why talk to her like she is a child?

Have you spoken to the school Peaches. I worked as a teacher and it is always stressed that you must provide work to the level which a child is working at so they should be trying to stretch him. Do you know what behaviour control methods they are using with him so that you and the school can use the same approaches etc.

Good luck.

I would never call a child lazy but have worked with phycoligists tht have !!!! it makes me cross children develop at their own pace and time

You took what I said actually totally out of context AND upset me -so thank you for that!!!! And how can you say I CALL HIM LAZY?? I put it down on here & speak to his therapist about it BUT I DON'T call him lazy to his face, but I do actually believe (as his parent!!) that he just can't be bothered as he'd rather point at stuff & that to me is being lazy. He does actually try to speak when he wants too be bothered.
I'm not into all this 'polictically calling him slow or whatever rubbish they say nowadays'.
AND TO ASSUME I don't encourage my son - I encourage him everyday otherwise he wouldn't be doing jigsaws for 6 yr olds (he's 2) OR know most of his alphabet OR count upto 15 and he can add - when he feels like it. BUT when it comes to speaking he cannot be bothered which is being lazy. Some kids are actually lazy!!
Plus I understand children work at their own pace, but I needed help to 'encourage' him to speak more AND what the therapist has done has worked so far, which I hope will carry on.

PLUS if I put him down all the time or wasn't bothered - why would I be going to see a speech therapist to help him along AND also behaviour one to 'help me' help him!

Can't understand why 'some people' would jump on the band wagon and totally lay into me. Thanks for that - I was expressing my opinion/experience with my own child (who I know & u don't) and to 'assume that I put my child down all the time' - is something I would never do to others OR MY CHILD. I don't assume anything on people I don't know. I hope you don't pass that onto your children.
I thought it was actually ok on here, but I'm obviously wrong with some of the comments. I will not comment anymore. Thanks for assuming worse of someone who has experience of this problem & was trying to help! :rant::suspect:


As for the actual subject on here I hope what you do gets him along ok, as my nephew had to have extra work in his class to keep him 'entertained' which was next level up. He did this all through the school for Maths in the end. Good luck:)

I think some children dont learn or chose not to talk sooner than others becuase they are worried about it. Also was the child born preminture becuase that can also have an effect sometimes. I dont think its right that you called your child 'lazy' as this is not the most encouraging way to get him to talk is it? Try and encourage him with whatever he does or try to say and you maybe suprised.

As for the opening poster, I think you need to speak to the school as others have said anf try maybe moving him up a class or something. How come the school havent picked up on how bright your child is? They should have really. I used to look after a little girl who was 6 she is so bright and will go far. She used to come home form school and tell me things I didnt even know lol. She got moved schools as well because they couldnt keep up with her.
Another girl I know when she got to secondary school they realised she was bright etc and she took everything a year early. Her GCSE's and A levels etc.

p.s thank you Corbyn for not assuming.

Mrsmum, please don't take our comments out of context

We have all seen the impact that negative labels can have on kids, and how misunderstood many kids are. It's very obvious that you make a great effort with your child and it's paying dividends, but I'd hate to think your relationship with him could eventually be destroyed if comments you make to others get back to him at a later stage in his life. Not providing the 'ammunition' for this scenario would be sensible

Having a gifted child is a challenge, and it seems your speech therapist is working wonders for you. There are many reasons for a child's apparent lack of progress in one field or another, but until a professional has got to the bottom of the whole problem, assumptions can cause more problems

Please don't assume he's 'lazy'. If he's discovered that he can get through life without the form of communication which most people choose as their primary method, it's just a challenge for those around him to find the right channels

Think about it. Deaf kids communicate by a completely different method altogether. Autistic kids are often easier to communicate with via an assistance dog, and they often communicate better with animals - ironically by gesture and very subtle facial expressions and body language, although they often miss facial expressions as an extension of spoken language. Speech isn't a be all and end all, and your son may be 'speaking' a different language to the rest of the family

(PS - My father has deaf episodes, so lipreading is an accepted form of communication at home, making us all a bit more aware of non-verbal communication... lipreading doesn't require any noise whilst moving your lips! )


anyway - back on topic... How did you get on today Peaches?

You may just be trying to help and offering your opinion Strix but I find your comments extremely patronising even in your most recent post. I don't think anyone just assumes their child is lazy. You are not there and you don't know the situation. It's a shame that you have made someone decide not to post on here anymore.

I think Strix is playing advocate here, and is merely saying there's more than one reason for a child to behave the way he or she does.

I spoke to the teacher today, she doesn't seem concerned that he's obviously becoming bored. I'm waiting on the EWO to phone me for a meeting with the school

I'm not playing devil's advocate

I have not 'made' anybody choose to never post here again (it was another poster who was quoted in that rant) :confused:

I'm flabbergasted


Fingers crossed for a sensible outcome to all this Peaches - I can't understand why a kid being bored isn't an issue for a teacher. Everybody knows that's the top of a slippery slope!

I still don't see how his behaviour is linked to him being bright and bored. His behaviour would seem to be classic attention seeking behaviour. Obviously there is no school in the world that can afford to give him one to one attention unless you educate him at home and that would mean he would never learn his behaviour is unacceptable. What seems to be happening is that his bad behaviour is being rewarded by people paying attention to him. I'm not sure how a teacher is going to be able to give him work that would stretch him if he can't sit still and behave. Sorry to be so blunt. I have 3 bright children and they were and are often bored in class but do not behave in that manner. Some children are more demanding than others. This is more about personality than intelligence.

I still don't see how his behaviour is linked to him being bright and bored. His behaviour would seem to be classic attention seeking behaviour. Obviously there is no school in the world that can afford to give him one to one attention unless you educate him at home and that would mean he would never learn his behaviour is unacceptable. What seems to be happening is that his bad behaviour is being rewarded by people paying attention to him. I'm not sure how a teacher is going to be able to give him work that would stretch him if he can't sit still and behave. Sorry to be so blunt. I have 3 bright children and they were and are often bored in class but do not behave in that manner. Some children are more demanding than others. This is more about personality than intelligence.

I do not appreciate your tone, I know my son do you not.

Sorry if I upset you. I just think a child is more than his/her intelligence. Some children sit in the corner quietly and no one would know they were there. Some daydream, others like to be the centre of attention. A 5 year old is still getting used to the social structure and being a 5 year old he/she may get it wrong. Doesn't mean the child is a bad child or that his/her parents brought him/her up badly. It's normal to test out where the boundaries are, especially if the child is bright. Some children push the boundaries further than others. At 5 year old, academic progression is not the most important thing. Indeed in every other country in the world children do not start formal education till they are 7. The most important thing for a child is learning to adjust to new social situations. Life is boring sometimes. Not all subjects taught at school are interesting to all children. Its a long time since I was 5 but I remember how big everything and everybody seemed to be.

I'm inclined to view the scenario from the perspective that this teacher is going to encounter one heck of a lot of children over a whole career, so learning how to cope with different personalities and persuade them to conform in one way or another is just part and parcel of the job

Many children are absolute angels at home but turn into completely the opposite at school - is that the fault of the parents or is it that the kids have the measure of the teachers/other kids?

Oh, and I was accused of daydreaming when I was bored with what we were being 'taught'... if figuring out how bits of the classroom went together and how the windows mechanism could work better, or where all the central heating pipes went, or how much the parquet tiles varied in texture and colour according to their location counts as 'daydreaming', tough - I now have degree in engineering :P

Yes I was the "daydreaming one". My trouble was the teacher would ask us to read one chapter and I would read the whole book and then have to pull myself back to the other childrens level. I do think that Primary Teaching has improved a lot since my day. My husband teaches and I see the amount of individual planning he does to meet the needs of specific children. If only Secondary school teachers did the same. I have watched my 3 very bright children go through the school system, one is at university now, one doing GCSE and the last in 2nd year at secondary. Teaching children who are gifted has improved greatly since my first child started though even she did get extra classes at a higher level in maths both in primary and Secondary. She joined Mensa at about 11 but frankly found their publications boring and most of their meetings were for adults and seemed to involve a lot of drinking. The youngest is so far on even though he's been ill a lot this year he has no trouble catching up in most subjects. I am concerned always about my children being bored but most of all about them being happy.

So what does that have to do with my situation?

I have had several children in my care over quite a few years. one was bright but bored in primary school because he already knew so much !!! its very hard for schools to cope with a child at 4.5 years old who is reading books for 8 year olds!! who can add up and do fractions even more complicated maths, he knew alot about history , geography even I had to had to find things which I wouldn't have aimed at his age to challenge him , he is now a solicitor here in Sheffield and did a double degree with no problems. He was classed as a problem at school right from start to finish and used to get attention for his bad behavour.

my son was bright at a very young age he was reading everything by the time he was 4 and was very board at school it was hard he use to come home and feel sad because he had done is woek well before anybody else and had to sit and read till everyone had finish but the books were 2 easy and he was board he 12 now and its still happening but not as bad thank god so i hope the school can help u peaches good look with it all

my son was bright at a very young age he was reading everything by the time he was 4 and was very board at school it was hard he use to come home and feel sad because he had done is woek well before anybody else and had to sit and read till everyone had finish but the books were 2 easy and he was board he 12 now and its still happening but not as bad thank god so i hope the school can help u peaches good look with it all

this is what hapend to the child i was talkiing about in the post above, apart from going to the bannerdale centre he was board all the time , it made him quite sad and his home behavour was a challenge

i no he needs 2 be doing something all the time he even help me with doin me posters and cards for my childming business now i have to pay him, he says he does the work he such get paid cheeky he loves doin work on laptop,reading cooking i dont think theys anything he cant do but he dont like much sport hes a good kid

I know I'm a pedant, but as we're talking about education, can we all spell 'bored' correctly please? ;)

Peaches - the relevance to your situation is that the teacher should be making some sort of effort to keep your son occupied and interested, as Duckweed's husband makes an effort to do with kids in his class :thumbsup:

well iam sorry i am a little dislectic

I think the point from these comments that many children are bored at school at different times and they all react in different ways. My children were given computer work to do when they were finished their work in class but that only happened in Primary. Also since they had read all the books in the school library at a very young age they were allowed to bring books from home to read with the teacher and discuss. But this takes a time to arrange as the teacher has to plan for a whole class not just one child and everybodies work has got to follow specific subjects laid down by the national curriculum. To give a child extra work you have to be sure he/she can work quietly on their own.

It would be really good if we could all contribute to the thread in a positive manner and think about posts.
We all have views and it's good to share them in carefully chosen words so we don't offend.
Parenting is a great and mutually supportive place to be, please let's keep it that way.

I don't think criticising someone's spelling is relevant to this argument as I notice I always have a few too. Don't see how making spelling mistakes means you can't have an opinion or have a valid contribution to make.
I agree the teacher has the responsibility to deal with a child's behaviour and sending a child home is a neglect of that responsability.
Also that the teacher has to plan for each individual child.
Obviously the parents input is also important and any teacher that ignores them is not a good teacher but equally the parent needs to listen to the teacher. Together teacher and parent can make a great team. I know the frustration of both being a bright child and being the parent of bright children. I know the hard work it takes for a teacher to keep on top of everything. As a teacher my husband has frequently been shouted at though thankfully not assaulted though it has seemed very close at times. So please be patient with your class teacher and hopefully you can reach a solution that everyone is happy with. If after being reasonable and calm with the teacher you feel you are getting nowhere talk to the head. Every school has a designated teacher who coordinates help for those children who are talented and gifted. You could ask to speak to the coordinator who doesn't deal with individual children but can tell you what provision the school makes. You can of course raise your concerns with a school governor. But in my opinion you have to work with the class teacher to modify behaviour first. I had a problem with my middle child but he was considerably older but still at Primary in that he wasn't completing his work and wandering about the classroom. The class teacher and I worked together in that I went in every day at the end of school and asked how he had done that day. If he got a good report we awarded him points, promising him that when he got the required number of points he would get a large Leggo set he really wanted. It did work very well and I got to know the class teacher well too. She was very frustrated that knowing how bright he was she couldn't get the work out of him that she knew he was capable of. Class teachers get frustrated too.

I still don't see how his behaviour is linked to him being bright and bored. His behaviour would seem to be classic attention seeking behaviour.[/B] Obviously there is no school in the world that can afford to give him one to one attention unless you educate him at home and that would mean he would never learn his behaviour is unacceptable. What seems to be happening is that his bad behaviour is being rewarded by people paying attention to him. I'm not sure how a teacher is going to be able to give him work that would stretch him if he can't sit still and behave. Sorry to be so blunt. I have 3 bright children and they were and are often bored in class but do not behave in that manner. Some children are more demanding than others. This is more about personality than intelligence.

You kinda contradict yourself there, this is what I don't understand.

One moment you are implying my son has no discipline, and in the next you are saying its the teachers fault :confused:

GL/Mods can you close this please as I seem to be getting nowhere on this one

If you see my last post. You will see that I have said that in my opinion you have to work with the teacher to modify behaviour first. I don't think you can talk about a 5 year old having discipline. He is after all only a small child. I have also listed steps you could take if you and the teacher can't work together.

Closed on OP request.