I know i must b :loopy: but dreamt about him and thought something was wrong, found out he left his wife few weeks ago, should i try to keep contact or not. He hurt me but i loved him :gag:

My advice would be to ask yourself where you are in your own life - boyfriend/husband, kids, mortgage etc - and question yourself strongly whether seeing this person again would put any of the above at risk.

Five years is a long time. Has he moved on? Does the flame still burn between you? (Or rather, did it never go out?)

If you have no present commitments and no-one apart from yourselves is likely to be hurt by any repercussions, then give it a whirl.

If you do have commitments of any sort, then I personally would steer well clear, keep the fond memories locked in a warm place in your heart where they can remain precisely that: fond memories.

That is one place where they can harm no one. Also, if he hurt you once....,

Im not in arelationship, and i think the flame only died down, but you right he did hurt me once, and he was married the!

Originally posted by Ousetunes
My advice would be to ask yourself where you are in your own life - boyfriend/husband, kids, mortgage etc - and question yourself strongly whether seeing this person again would put any of the above at risk.

Sensible advice.

Imagine how would you feel if your other half secretly met up with an old flame?

If he has just split from his wife recently he will be on the re-bound and certainly not ready for any commitment or relationship from anyone and will probably end up hurting you again.

Most people go a bit wild when coming out of a long relationship so you don't want to end up being used by him. I'd steer clear for a while - if it is meant to be get in touch again in a few months when he is more settled in his life.

Remember also not to think of him with rose coloured glasses, after all he did hurt you so he can't be that great. Yes we all make mistakes but don't put him on a pedastal you will end up being disappointed when reality kicks in.

The Fantasy is always better than the Reality. :thumbsup:

:hihi: good advice dawney i will think on that one for a while,i suppose what will be will be.

Originally posted by Boops
I know i must b :loopy: but dreamt about him and thought something was wrong, found out he left his wife few weeks ago, should i try to keep contact or not. He hurt me but i loved him :gag:

I suggest you resist these bunny boiler urges... it's not healthy.

:gag: not healthy for the bunny!!!

Originally posted by Zamo
I suggest you resist these bunny boiler urges... it's not healthy.

seconded!

Presumably you split up for a reason...

...has that changed ?

How easy is it to break from 1 relationship find a new partner and marry them.

Then divorce that partner in the space of 5 years?

Sorry, he was married but not happy, yeh i know all the cleches, when i was seeing him, i worked with him too, wife found out he decided couldnt leave end of us. Now hes left her!

If he has left his wife then there shouldn't be a problem. If you were in love before then i would tread carefully cos its one thing to have your heart broken once but if it all went pear shaped again then it could be worse and it would bring back all your previous feelings. Then again if you didn't go for it then you would always wonder and possibly regret never going for it. Regret is one of the worst things.

Boops , not much point in asking us amateurs----you'll get loads of different answers.
Best to write to one of the professionals in one of the magazines or the Sun , Mirror or Daily Star. They will tell you what to do and the advice is free , too , except for the price of the postage , of course.
You could even write to one or two of them and compare the answers they give you ; have a good think about them all and then act swiftly on your decision !

Originally posted by Boops
I know i must b :loopy: but dreamt about him and thought something was wrong, found out he left his wife few weeks ago, should i try to keep contact or not. He hurt me but i loved him :gag:

i would steer clear for a while, if he decided he couldnt leave his wife when she found out chances are they will get back together again. do they have kids?

I would give you two pieces of advice....

one:- he is an ex-.... keep reminding yourself why he is an ex! (ther HAD to be a reason!?!?)

and two:- there's a saying...

When a mistress becomes a wife, she immediately creates a vacancy!!!!

I know from experience.

I went out with a cheater. He would chase anything with two Y chromosomes!

I accidentally discovered that there was some poor lass sat at home, whilst he was out tomcatting.

He was shown the door , double-quick. (deadbolted, chained, the lot!)

I didn't want him, if he was going to be tomcatting! My reasoning was , if he's screwing about on her, with me, then it is a given that he'd be screwing about on me with whoever....

Nah! not a bloomin' chance!!! I am not prepared to put up with that!! I am playing second fiddle to NOBODY!!! If i am not "special enough" by my bloke, for him to keep his winkie in his y-fronts, then he can "go forth" as they say... but not with me! It's number one or nothing!

Steer well clear:- cos if he can do the dirty on his wife, he will, sure as eggs, do the dirty on you before long. "Leopards don't change their spots", and all that! Don't set yourself up for a fall:- give him the widest berth!

PT

Thanks everybody, i know you all right, just seeing the replies brought it home to me! deleted his number not going to txt, got this far so will carry on without him.......:(

Originally posted by Boops
Thanks everybody, i know you all right, just seeing the replies brought it home to me! deleted his number not going to txt, got this far so will carry on without him.......:(

So glad to hear that you have "seen sense", and will give him a wide berth!

you won't regret it.

PT

Originally posted by Plain Talker
...I went out with a cheater. He would chase anything with two Y chromosomes!...

Sorry to be picky but ...

Two Y chromosomes? Isn't this known as the criminal gene?

Surely you mean 2 X chromosomes? or was it some form of fetish?

Originally posted by serapis
Sorry to be picky but ...

Two Y chromosomes? Isn't this known as the criminal gene?

Surely you mean 2 X chromosomes? or was it some form of fetish?

Oh dear...I thought two Y chromosomes meant the male of the species :wow:

I'll get me coat :blush:

Originally posted by Boops
I know i must b :loopy: but dreamt about him and thought something was wrong, found out he left his wife few weeks ago, should i try to keep contact or not. He hurt me but i loved him :gag:

Boops,

Just think are you happy woithout him or do you still feel something is missing from your life? Will he be able to fill it?

Remember people do change! If the reasons for splitting up have changed and you are now older and wiser, then whats the problem.

There is no failure
except in no longer trying
Elbert Hubbard

Originally posted by Abdul
Oh dear...I thought two Y chromosomes meant the male of the species :wow:

I'll get me coat :blush:

Tehee,

Two X chromosomes = Woman
1 X and 1 Y chromosome = Man

You see all the extra stuff like how to use the washing machine and how to drive at 20mph are stored in the extra part of the X chromosome :hihi:

Oh i'm going to get flamed for this .... only joking girls!

Originally posted by serapis
Sorry to be picky but ...

Two Y chromosomes? Isn't this known as the criminal gene?

Surely you mean 2 X chromosomes? or was it some form of fetish?

yes, serapis, you are perfectly right,

I meant to say two X chromosomes.... call it a slip of the mind!

(thing is, what with fashion, today, and evildrneil and his Kilt, i couldn't say "chase owt in a skirt", now, could I?
lol)

PT