Yes, Ive thought about it for ages now, and after seeing some chavs in Barnsley Market, I just have to be one. So come on you chavs what do I wear, how do I speak ? How do I become a chav ? I mean its serious innit ? :huh:

Become a German instead. Chavs of a 'certain age' look worse than the younger ones, don't you think?

No. 1.. A baseball Cap.

I must have the genuine "fake Burberry" musnt I ?

Become a German instead. Chavs of a 'certain age' look worse than the younger ones, don't you think?

I am a mature Chav ! Nothing wrong with that is there ?:mad:

But if you're serious, you will have to start holidaying in this........

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b212/gerpander/chav_camper.jpg

I am a mature Chav ! Nothing wrong with that is there ?:mad:

Yes, everything! Chav means cheap and violent. Are you planning on dripping yourself in cheap gold jewelllleeeerreee (fake's best) and drinking cheap cider before starting fights with all your neighbours :huh:

I am on benefits and have no money for holidays have I ?


no.3. Branded shirts & jackets.

A pink Nickolson Polo Shirt., and the sky blue MacKenzie Hoody.



Im on my way, ya.!

I think white stillettos would look good....

Yes, everything! Chav means cheap and violent. Are you planning on dripping yourself in cheap gold jewelllleeeerreee (fake's best) and drinking cheap cider before starting fights with all your neighbours :huh:

Yes, I must have the bling if Im to be a proper chav.:mad:

Or if you go abroad, you may use one of these........

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/8195/chavrickshawio0.jpg

I am on benefits and have no money for holidays have I ?
no.3. Branded shirts & jackets.
A pink Nickolson Polo Shirt., and the sky blue MacKenzie Hoody.
Im on my way, ya.!
Are all benefit claimants chavs? Or do all chavs claim benefits?

And you put ME on a lead......(!)

I think white stillettos would look good....

I will look up the chavs foorwear thursday bear with me. I Think its white trainers.!:)

I am on benefits and have no money for holidays have I ?


no.3. Branded shirts & jackets.

A pink Nickolson Polo Shirt., and the sky blue MacKenzie Hoody.



Im on my way, ya.!

If you're a chav on benefits, you should have more than enough money for a holiday. Otherwise you're not doing it right :|

Are all benefit claimants chavs? Or do all chavs claim benefits?

And you put ME on a lead......(!)

Most of them are OJ, as they have to keep those big American Pit Bull Terriers dont they ?

Yes, everything! Chav means cheap and violent. Are you planning on dripping yourself in cheap gold jewelllleeeerreee (fake's best) and drinking cheap cider before starting fights with all your neighbours :huh:

*shakes head in disappointment* drinking cheap cider out of a bottle before starting fights with all the neighbours by screetching at them from the street at 3.47 in the morning. :hihi::hihi:
(and all the while, botting smokes of the great grandkids)

I will look up the chavs foorwear thursday bear with me. I Think its white trainers.!:)

Wrong again. It is winter, so I suggest you invest in a pair of these.........

http://www.shoewawa.com/burberry%20wellies.bmp

I will look up the chavs foorwear thursday bear with me. I Think its white trainers.!:)

That's for the mob! I thought you wanted to stand out, be different, start a trend....:(:(

Most of them are OJ, as they have to keep those big American Pit Bull Terriers dont they ?

Which part? I can't decide whether you're taking the !"£$%^ out of chavs or you really desire to become one :suspect: If it's the latter, I think I'll have to change forums. And not all chavs keep pitbulls, if you don't mind :rant:

Some of them have rottweilers.

That's for the mob! I thought you wanted to stand out, be different, start a trend....:(:(

No I have to be in a mob thursday to roam the Markets, Supermarkets, street corners etc. I may start on the chav language next.!!

*shakes head in disappointment* drinking cheap cider out of a bottle before starting fights with all the neighbours by screetching at them from the street at 3.47 in the morning. :hihi::hihi:
(and all the while, botting smokes of the great grandkids)


In the defence of the chav, the people they argue with have done something to deserve it, though. Such as looking at the chav, breathing etc. It's never an unprovoked attack! :wow:

Which part? I can't decide whether you're taking the !"£$%^ out of chavs or you really desire to become one :suspect: If it's the latter, I think I'll have to change forums. And not all chavs keep pitbulls, if you don't mind :rant:

Some of them have rottweilers.

No, I insist on a genuine American Pit Bull Terrier!!:mad:

Chav-I thought it meant "Cheap hooker & voluptous". Patty, you'll be a natural:hihi::hihi::hihi::P;)

No, I insist on a genuine American Pit Bull Terrier!!:mad:

Each to their own. Of course, the true chav would have one of each! And a Staffy.

And then breed them.

In the defence of the chav, the people they argue with have done something to deserve it, though. Such as looking at the chav, breathing etc. It's never an unprovoked attack! :wow:

thats right. :D

oh, they would also be hanging on the the collar of their salivating hound from hell - as if that is the best way to keep it uner control.

Chav-I thought it meant "Cheap hooker & voluptous". Patty, you'll be a natural:hihi::hihi::hihi::P;)

Cheap Hooker, Tarqs, but not voluptuos !!! I must stay true to Burberry dont forget. How can one be sexy with that on !:mad:

thats right. :D

oh, they would also be hanging on the the collar of their salivating hound from hell - as if that is the best way to keep it uner control.

Or they might not have the wife with them.......

Cheap Hooker, Tarqs, but not voluptuos !!! I must stay true to Burberry dont forget. How can one be sexy with that on !:mad:

There you go...........

http://www.weddingsutra.com/bride/singapore/images/burberry.jpg

No.3. Chav Jewellery.


Gold Clown Pendant (so Im told)

Thick Gold Chains


Sovereign Rings


Medallion Rings

Big Gold Hoop Earrings.

Or they might not have the wife with them.......

oh, no. you got me wrong - I am talking about the wife (do they get married though? cant they get more benefits from being 'single'?

Or they might not have the wife with them.......

:hihi::hihi::hihi:

Are you in your second childhood Pat? Chav indeed :hihi:

oh, no. you got me wrong - I am talking about the wife (do they get married though? cant they get more benefits from being 'single'?

They still call her "the missus" though, I think. Even if they've only been together a week and have just the two kids so far....

I think it's more benefits from "claiming to be single". As long as he lives in the shed, technically they're not 'living together'.

Are you in your second childhood Pat? Chav indeed :hihi:

I think it's a mid-life crisis and a request for a one way ticket to the rubber room. Just humour her or she'll chuck her dentures at you (burberry ones, obviously).

Are you in your second childhood Pat? Chav indeed :hihi:

No Chavs werent out when I was a child, I really feel as though I want to be one joto. Will you join me ?

I think it's a mid-life crisis and a request for a one way ticket to the rubber room. Just humour her or she'll chuck her dentures at you (burberry ones, obviously).

I just had a vision of burberry dentures :hihi::hihi::hihi:

No Chavs werent out when I was a child, I really feel as though I want to be one joto. Will you join me ?

Sorry your on your own on this one :gag::D

Sorry your on your own on this one :gag::D

Spoilsport.!!! I feel you have to be "with It" today.


Anyway : Chav Language:


No.1. Abaaat...................About.:)

Thing is Pat do chavs have the know how to use this forum, and wouldn't they lack the social skills to converse with us? I think you're doomed Pat from the start, you're far too normal :thumbsup::D

Spoilsport.!!! I feel you have to be "with It" today.


Anyway : Chav Language:


No.1. Abaaat...................About.:)

Yes I'll definitely need translation, I can't even understand what they're saying on Coronation St sometimes :huh::D

Thing is Pat do chavs have the know how to use this forum, and wouldn't they lack the social skills to converse with us? I think you're doomed Pat from the start, you're far too normal :thumbsup::D

Of course they they do.! Chavs are very intelligent people, joto. I take my lead from them dont I ?

No.2. Language.


Aint(cha) eg. Arent (you) :)





Im on my way.:thumbsup:

Oh lord save us from Pat the chav :hihi:

Awight..............eg. Alright.




Am I a Chav yet ?:)

Burgaa................eg. Hamburger ...............:thumbsup:

Right Im going to do some jobs, and while Im away, I want you to ponedr on this Chav lark. What else do I need to be a chav ?:huh:



:huh:

Miscellaneous :


Fake Tan...................?

Love Bite...................?

Smoking......................?




Am I on my way or not ? :confused:

Just off to see the results of the dancing, but still studying Chavism.:)

Awight..............eg. Alright.




Am I a Chav yet ?:)

Actually I thought the chav equivalent of all right was "alreeet". Although "alright" alone could qualify since it's actually two words, not one.

Right Im going to do some jobs, and while Im away, I want you to ponedr on this Chav lark. What else do I need to be a chav ?:huh:



:huh:

Miscellaneous :


Fake Tan...................?

Love Bite...................?

Smoking......................?




Am I on my way or not ? :confused:

Fake tan = don't know
love bite = shagger
smoking = tabs

Actually I thought the chav equivalent of all right was "alreeet". Although "alright" alone could qualify since it's actually two words, not one.

No, alreet, is Sheffield slang.!!


To continue



Daahn..................Down

No, alreet, is Sheffield slang.!!


To continue



Daahn..................Down
Well "awight" is london slang, isn't it? Alreet sounds more liverpudlian too.

Anyway, I didn't know this thread was the "A-Z of chav words" :huh:

Well "awight" is london slang, isn't it? Alreet sounds more liverpudlian too.

Anyway, I didn't know this thread was the "A-Z of chav words" :huh:

Its not.!!

Giss.....................Give

Its not.!!

Giss.....................Give

So why did you say "to continue" as though I'd gone off topic? Or was that an attempt at starting a fight for no reason (a popular chav passtime)?

So why did you say "to continue" as though I'd gone off topic? Or was that an attempt at starting a fight for no reason (a popular chav passtime)?

Chavs always say "To Continue" as they see it in soap operas dont they ?:)

Chavs always say "To Continue" as they see it in soap operas dont they ?:)

What soaps are you watching :confused: None of them say "to continue" :huh: I only watch occasionally and even I know that! "To continue" is far to complex for a chav, besides there are too many syllables.

What soaps are you watching :confused: None of them say "to continue" :huh: I only watch occasionally and even I know that! "To continue" is far to complex for a chav, besides there are too many syllables.

They watch : Family Affairs : Dawsons Creek :Hollyoaks and Footballers wives.

They watch : Family Affairs : Dawsons Creek :Hollyoaks and Footballers wives.

Family Affairs?? I didn't think that was even on any more. Out of those I sometimes watch Hollyoaks for the big storylines. Last time I saw it was when thingy died.

Family Affairs?? I didn't think that was even on any more. Out of those I sometimes watch Hollyoaks for the big storylines. Last time I saw it was when thingy died.

Parlez Vous Chav speak ?

Parlez Vous Chav speak ?

That's french, not chav. The chav equivalent is:

"What you "£$%^& lookin' at?"

That's french, not chav. The chav equivalent is:

"What you "£$%^& lookin' at?"

Chavs can be quite cultivated dontcha know ?

Chavs can be quite cultivated dontcha know ?

cultivated like mold, you mean? I agree they spread prolifically, but that's about as far as their cultivation goes.

Right :

Gaahna ....Going To


Git.......Get



Mingin...........Something nasty.


Im seriously studying now aaant I ?:)

So now Ive learnt Chavtalk lets put a few choice sentences together :


Lushinnit ?.................(lovely isnt it ?) :):)

Aah ya gaahn daahn taahn laytaah ? (Will you be taking a trip into the town centre later ?):)

you also have to have a vauxhall corsa car

you also have to have a vauxhall corsa car

Yes, and dont forget the wheel trims :)

you also have to have a vauxhall corsa car

And extra points if it's somebody else's.

And extra points if it's somebody else's.

Yes, exactly. I met my first Chav wife today. She said her husbands job was "picking things up" and then selling them in the pub. Sounds an interesting job doesnt it ?:)

Yes, exactly. I met my first Chav wife today. She said her husbands job was "picking things up" and then selling them in the pub. Sounds an interesting job doesnt it ?:)

You met your first today? That I don't believe. You mentioned on another thread that you'd been down the Moor in Sheffield. There's loads of chavs down there.

You met your first today? That I don't believe. You mentioned on another thread that you'd been down the Moor in Sheffield. There's loads of chavs down there.

Yes but they are young chavs, she was an older chav.

Yes but they are young chavs, she was an older chav.

I used to live next door to one. Hideous coffin-dodger that she was.

Aah ya gaahn daahn taahn laytaah ? (Will you be taking a trip into the town centre later ?):)

Gosh you sound like me. :) Shall we go and hang outside Mcdonalds??!!

Tie your hair back dead tight, LOADS of hairspray, side ponytail is best.

Gosh you sound like me. :) Shall we go and hang outside Mcdonalds??!!

Tie your hair back dead tight, LOADS of hairspray, side ponytail is best.

Yes, I want blonde hair & a scrunchie dont I ? :hihi::hihi:

anyone mentioned blue under-car lights? they're all the rage in cha-am....allegedly :D

anyone mentioned blue under-car lights? they're all the rage in cha-am....allegedly :D

Yes, and a fat chrome tailpipe.:)

and huge spoilers

and huge spoilers

Illegal number plates !:rolleyes:

Illegal number plates !:rolleyes:

you don't need those in a stolen car :huh:

of course, you can have the ones with illegal fonts! just for the numerous times a day you get flashed by the speed camera.

A really wicked innit ICE ( In car entertainment )system

do chavs use acronyms?

do chavs use acronyms?

Yes, there is noffink they dont av.:)

Yes, there is noffink they dont av.:)

no indeed. not even a compete lack of style, self respect, or the ability not to pick fights with innocent passersby.

no indeed. not even a compete lack of style, self respect, or the ability not to pick fights with innocent passersby.

Yes, see the chavs sittin on the wall outside the shop. Chavs will use their unwanted cans of fizzy drinks, as missiles, which they will aim at passers by wont they. Fik abaaat it .:)

Have you got your mobile on loudspeaker play Drum n bass? If not you aint hard.

Yes, see the chavs sittin on the wall outside the shop. Chavs will use their unwanted cans of fizzy drinks, as missiles, which they will aim at passers by wont they. Fik abaaat it .:)

Get with the times! No self-respecting chav (and that's an anacronism for you!) would throw a full can of cider. Only an empty one. If they want a weapon, they all have knives and guns these days, don't they?

Have you got your mobile on loudspeaker play Drum n bass? If not you aint hard.

I must have that waxy, and I have to be called Sharon as well.:)

Get with the times! No self-respecting chav (and that's an anacronism for you!) would throw a full can of cider. Only an empty one. If they want a weapon, they all have knives and guns these days, don't they?

Who mentioned cider ? Its Red Bull innit !:mad:

Who mentioned cider ? Its Red Bull innit !:mad:

call yourself a chav drinking red bull? it's non-alcoholic :huh:

I must have that waxy, and I have to be called Sharon as well.:)

I hope you have got all your rings on and biten down your fingernails too.

and a tattoo

That goes like this

dave
pete
steve
stacy
darren

I hope you have got all your rings on and biten down your fingernails too.

and a tattoo

That goes like this

dave
pete
steve
stacy
darren

Don't chavs cover up the bitten nails with plastic fake ones purchased from £land? Of course at least one will be missing at all times because you've just had a fight with some !£$% who looked at you funny!

Like the mix of genders on the tattoos. Chavs are becoming more experimental with their sexuality these days, aren't they? :hihi:

Don't chavs cover up the bitten nails with plastic fake ones purchased from £land?

Like the mix of genders on the tattoos. Chavs are becoming more experimental with their sexuality these days, aren't they? :hihi:

Only the woman apparently the blokes dont do homos.

Don't chavs cover up the bitten nails with plastic fake ones purchased from £land?

Like the mix of genders on the tattoos. Chavs are becoming more experimental with their sexuality these days, aren't they? :hihi:

Yes, my mother told me to go out with a Trans-sexual, and that way I would have a better choice of clothes.:)

Only the woman apparently the blokes dont do homos.

Got to laugh at this Waxy ! :hihi::hihi::hihi:

Only the woman apparently the blokes dont do homos.

Don't the women only do it because "Ar Kev" wanted a menage a trois?

Got to laugh at this Waxy ! :hihi::hihi::hihi:

:thumbsup:


You know its true. They might catch the gay. :o

Don't the women only do it because "Ar Kev" wanted a menage a trois?

No he is too busy shaking his hand at his corsa. :o

No he is too busy shaking his hand at his corsa. :o

Too busy to notice "Ar Lass" is sneaking off for a "Katy Perry" with her best mate? :wow:

Too busy to notice "Ar Lass" is sneaking off for a "Katy Perry" with her best mate? :wow:

I am on my way to being a chav anyway never mind you lot. I have just bought a thong so thats nice innit ?:)

Too busy to notice "Ar Lass" is sneaking off for a "Katy Perry" with her best mate? :wow:

It tastes of her cherry chop stick according to my daughter. :suspect:

I am on my way to being a chav anyway never mind you lot. I have just bought a thong so thats nice innit ?:)

:gag: I didn't need to know that.

Thongs are so two years ago!

It tastes of her cherry chop stick according to my daughter. :suspect:

That's a good one!

I am on my way to being a chav anyway never mind you lot. I have just bought a thong so thats nice innit ?:)

Only if its up your back and your trousers come below your bum crack. You also need a heavily pregant tum hanging out at the front of your jeans with a tattoo round your belly button and stretch marks round that.

Only if its up your back and your trousers come below your bum crack. You also need a heavily pregant tum hanging out at the front of your jeans with a tattoo round your belly button and stretch marks round that.

I have a tattoo only my belly button. That's not chavvy. I resent the "chavs have tatts" thing! They do, I admit, but only because they stole the idea from the alternatives! :rant:

I have a tattoo only my belly button. That's not chavvy. I resent the "chavs have tatts" thing! They do, I admit, but only because they stole the idea from the alternatives! :rant:

I thought you just all knicked it from prisoners and sailors? :D

I thought you just all knicked it from prisoners and sailors? :D

Aren't theirs all "home made"? Actually, chav tatts are often home made with a bottle of quink when they're 14 aren't they?

Aren't theirs all "home made"? Actually, chav tatts are often home made with a bottle of quink when they're 14 aren't they?

arent goth tats too with their own blood?



only kidding ouija

arent goth tats too with their own blood?



only kidding ouija

Nope, they're just more tasteful :thumbsup:

And unique. I like custom tatts these days.

Nope, they're just more tasteful :thumbsup:

And unique. I like custom tatts these days.

I think some tattoos are very nice others are just plain crap. Like you say some are quite tasteful.



Back to pattricia are you outside the off licence with your homies? bo

And you have to have kids named:

Girls: Chardonnay, Sienna, Shanel, Paris. You Get The Idea

Boys: McKenzie, Kenzie, Dwayne or Any Names That Are Actually Surnames.



And under my knowledge Chav's have stopped wearing BUrberry, its more fake stone island these days.

Oh the class!

And you have to have kids named:

Girls: Chardonnay, Sienna, Shanel, Paris. You Get The Idea

Boys: McKenzie, Kenzie, Dwayne or Any Names That Are Actually Surnames.



And under my knowledge Chav's have stopped wearing BUrberry, its more fake stone island these days.

Oh the class!

Yes, I met a chav today called CLINT. Nice name innit. Well I fink it is.:)

Whilst the forum is quiet back to ChavSpeak as spoken by proper chavs.



Yerrlookinferraslap ? Translated means : ( Are you trying to test my patience ?):)

Chavs at school : Nowadays homework is binned on the way out of the lesson innit ? :)

Chavs at school : Nowadays homework is binned on the way out of the lesson innit ? :)

You really don't get it.

The homework would not be binned at all, because

a) it would not have been done in the first place.

b) they weren't at school in any case.

Yes, chavs do go to school OJ, if only to beat the teachers up innit ?:)

Yes, chavs do go to school OJ, if only to beat the teachers up innit ?:)

That's when they're learning to be chavs. Once they're fully-fledged chavs they don't bother any more. Or if for some reason they do attend, they're in the toilets smoking, not going to lessons.

That's when they're learning to be chavs. Once they're fully-fledged chavs they don't bother any more. Or if for some reason they do attend, they're in the toilets smoking, not going to lessons.

Yes, they are smoking their happy baccy I understand !:)

Yes, they are smoking their happy baccy I understand !:)

It's wacky baccy! :rolleyes:

You're miles away from your chav diploma aren't you.........!