The Miller
06-11-2008, 15:35
Paddy & Mick go to London to donate sperm. It was a disaster! Paddy missed the tube & Mick came on the bus!!
*
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'How do I know! Its your flipping plane!!'
*
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'.
*
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
*
Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!
*
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
*
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head at which point Paddy said 'I dont think thats her, she wasn't that tall!'
*
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'I've put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'
*
Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'
*
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London!'
*
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay.
Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick sods like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the sh*t out of you if I could swim!'
*
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks 'How many people are flying with you?'
Paddy replies 'How do I know! Its your flipping plane!!'
*
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night. After 3 hours of amazing sex Paddy says 'I wonder how the girls are getting on'.
*
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses & lies on the bed spreadeagled & says 'You know what I want dont you?'
'Yeah,' says Paddy. 'The whole friggin bed by the looks of it!'
*
Q. Whats a Catholic priest & a pint of Guiness got in common?
A. black coat, white collar & you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!
*
Paddy the electrician got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair. He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
*
Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whos head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head at which point Paddy said 'I dont think thats her, she wasn't that tall!'
*
Paddy & his wife are lying in bed & the neighbours dog is barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says 'To hell with this!' & storms off. He comes back upstairs 5 mins later & his wife asks 'What did you do?'
Paddy replies 'I've put the dog in our garden, lets see how they like it!'
*
Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.'Be Jeysus!' he said, 'I didnt even know they had mobile phones!'
*
Mick & Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick say'Crikey! Theres a bloke here who was 152!'
Paddy says 'Whats his name?'
Mick replies 'Miles from London!'
*
An Irishman is rowing his boat in a field of hay.
Paddy drives past & stops. He looks at the Irishman in the boat & shouts 'Its thick sods like you that give us Irish a bad name! I'd come over there & kick the sh*t out of you if I could swim!'