Hi

Our two-year old son, a very social and outgoing child, has been involved in a number of aggressive incidents. He kicked a child at nursery, and he has made unprovoked attacks on other children.

His behaviour has become increasingly more difficult the past weeks - refusing to listen to us or other adults, screaming, throwing tantrums and hitting.

We have been very careful in how we handle it; trying to be stern, but neutral, no physical reprisals, loads of time-out and positive reinforcement.

His first language is not English, contributing to his frustration – he struggles to express himself.

We are considering contacting a child psychologist – but are new to Sheffield, and don’t know who we could turn to?

I would say the reason is obvious. You have just moved and small children are easily upset by a change in routine. My daughter started biting children in the toddler group she was in. I offered her a shiny sticker or a baloon if she could not hurt anyone for a half hour at the group. At the end of the half hour she got a baloon and we went home. This we did for 3 days then upped the time and then it was the whole session and eventually we were awash with baloons but she had stopped biting. Your child just needs a lot of reassurance and as much of the old routine as possible.

I agree with duckweed, big things like moving home are bound to unsettle toddlers and often lead to changes in behaviour, generally for the worst.

The return to a routine that is as familiar as possible is a good start to getting things back in line, so as much as you may want to spoil them after a big change, I always think it's a good idea to draw the line quite quickly and get back to all the important basics - steady mealtimes, bedtimes, etc. as soon as you can.

I would use the same disciplinary tactics as you already are doing, sounds good to me. Are you both doing exactly the same?
One thing I've learned with toddlers is that they will do something again and again and again and again, even after they've got the message, just to see if the same thing happens afterwards every time. So a lot of patience is probably in order - it sounds like you're doing a great job with that, and hopefully that will be part of the key that slowly makes what you're doing work.

I'm sorry, I don't have any information on a child psychologist, so the best I can do is wish you good luck.

Oh, and welcome! :wave:

Thanks very much, I appreciate your advice.

We've took both of your comments to heart, and he certainly loves having the certainty of a stricter routine. Also, the nursery head has assured us that he is not malicious and that that type of behaviour is quite common.

Thanks again!