Originally posted by slimsid2000

That said, if girls see a man drinking a soft drink would they in general hold this against him or might they be impressed that he is not just another drunken yob? This is a genuine question which I don't know the answer to.

Once again, you are generalising that females are all the same and think in the same way. I can't help but get around the impression that you see women as objects and little else.

You may just see a girlfriend as a way of filling a gap in your life. I know that I would prefer to be lonely than be with someone just for the sake of it. Which is why I'm not spending all of my time looking. I'd prefer to enjoy the other aspects of my life and spend time with friends than waste time looking. Maybe one day I'll find the person that I feel right with, maybe I won't. But, I'm not going to be ignorant to the other things in my life that make me happy. That would be an awful waste of the life that I am so grateful for having.

Originally posted by goldenfleece
Its nothing to do with what the bar is...where it is...what it serves....or the sort of people in it. As others suggest it comes down to yourself.....and only you can make things happen. Being in a bar crammed full of girls is no different to being in a dead bar with 1 girl in it if you have no self confidence.......take it from me it doesnt matter where or when or how.....you simply believe in yourself and you can meet girls in any place or situation.

Its all down to how you feel about yourself and believing in your abilities. Some of the best girlfriends I have had I have met in non pub situations such as Tesco's, the Central library local archives, Coffee Revolution, an MOT testing centre..to name but 4. It doesnt follow that you meet the women of your dreams in bars and clubs.......they are just full of members of the opposite sex, and so the odds seem more stacked in your favour....but ONLY if you have the confidence to get their attention and be noticed.......and this does NOT mean walking up to random girls and whipping out the horrible one-liners and chat up routines found on the internet, most of whci hare cringingly terrifying to listen to (Women, agree with me here, most men I am sure still do come out with the most horrible and uninvited chat up lines?)

The golden rule which has always worked for me, in ANY situation at ANY time, is never approach a women unless you get prolonged eye contact and a smile......to do otherwise is usually a mistake. See it all the time in places like Casbah and Flares, men approaching women without any eye contact or body language 'permission' to approach them, coming out with stupid "whats a nice girl like you..." etc and "heaven must be missing an angel and here you are", and to see the girls faces is so funny.....and the guys STILL dont get it when they are rejected. Its a painful lesson chaps......learn it young....women dont care if you are interested in them or not, the ONLY thing that matters to them is if they are interested in YOU (for the first approach I mean)

I think there is a lot of sense in what you say and as with much of the advice on this thread I will bare it in mind for future reference.

Originally posted by samc
Slimsid2000 - this is such an addictive thread.....

When you go out to the bars do you go on your own or in a big group or with just a couple of mates?

Asking this because if you are alone then sorry mate but to alot of girls that would seem a little obvious you are on the pull or really desperate - and neither are an attractive option to most of us girls.

If in a big group are you getting lost in the crowd?

Don't try too hard. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who looks like he is having a good time and lots of fun - that does not mean 6 pints of Stella.

Read in the Sheff Telegraph Greens Health Club are having a speed dating night soon, might be worth checking out.

6 is just warming up surely?

Also bear in mind if you maybe ain't all that looks and / or style wise.....

Beer goggles works both ways!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

Sid,

I have a feeling that this is a waste of time me typing this, and you won't listen to what I'm saying anyway, but i'll carry on regardless...

Having read (and been fascinated) by both threads, the thing I think is most evident is that you need to gain PEOPLE skills, not just pulling skills.
By people skills, I mean interaction with both men AND women. As has been pointed out a thousand times on this thread, you do seem completely pre-occupied with the whole "having a girlfriend" thing. While I can fully appreciate this is a major thing for you, it is also clearly hampering your future "efforts" to impress the opposite sex.

The reason I say this is because you mentioned you once asked someone on your course at Uni to go out for a drink to "meet girls". I'm sorry, but if someone I didn't really know that much asked me to go out on the pull, I would say no straight away.

I think you also seem to be under the impression that guys who are attached also never want to socialise with single people (judging by your past history that may be a fair assumption for you to make). This could not be further from the truth. I think you need to make friends with members of both sexes to understand how PEOPLE work. When you do that, you would find it easier to make friends with people, and find it easier to interact, and make people want to spend time with you.

Someone earlier in the thread said it was a numbers game. This is the best point on the thread; the more people you know, the more people they know, and the more people you are likely to be introduced to. Do you not see that? You seem to be dismissing the idea of making friends with attached men, simply because they would spoil your chances on a Friday night. This is the most short-sighted thing you could do - think of the long game. People know people who know people etc, etc get my drift?

Don't try too hard. There is nothing more attractive than a guy who looks like he is having a good time and lots of fun - that does not mean 6 pints of Stella. [/B]


TOTALLY AGREE! As someone who likes watching others in various social situations it is ALWAYS the guys who look like they are having fun and might be fun to be with that get female attention. If you just stand there looking hopeful you just vanish into the background and may as well not be there at all. The mating game for humans is pretty much the same as for most animals (not including certain species of fish and the Black Widow spider!!)), those who PARADE themselves and show total self confidence without being 'show-offs'... are the guys who get the girls....every time.

Just watch certain types of men 'at work' in the Casbah/Leadmill/Mingdom... and you will see what i mean.......they know exactly what the rules are and how to play the game of love. Not all of them, some are still stuck with 70's chat up lines and trying to impress girls by drinking 15 pints of Carlsberg.....(WHY????)

but some have got it down to a fine art. Go to the Leadmill and lookat the guys the girls are crowding round or smiling at......there is a reason for it.


And its NOTHING....ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with looks!!!! Its purely about emanating a certain type of magnetism and confidence. Maybe I should write a book here.....

Hi Slim,

My first post by the way!

It seems to me as though you go out for just one thing, not sex but to find your "perfect match"...

Trust me, I went through a phase like that when I was in my late teens (first time clubbing and all). This attitude gets you nowhere i'm afraid. If you meet a girl in a bar or club she is'nt going to like someone banging on about how they are lonely or are just very serious...

Usually people in bars/clubs are drunk, or merry.... So try to make a girl laugh when you talk to her. I'm no expert but I get far more success when I make people laugh. Like other people say just be friendly. Its commonly thought of that women are more likely to get attached quickly than a man. Become friends only to start with, keep seeing her and make her laugh again but be serious when she is. Don't just talk about yourself and take interest in what she is saying, if you are very keen try and get interested in things she likes...

I was'nt looking when I met my first serious girlfriend. I was 18 and we was together for 3 years.

So after babling on for god knows how long, apart from falling asleep you should take from me that its best to be friendly and funny. You will usually end up with something at the end of the night, even if its just a friendly kiss and a mobile number.

Good luck mate!

As for your poll, there is'nt such things as best bars. If they were then all the single people would go there all the time!

what's the latest on this then ss2k?

Originally posted by Cyclone
what's the latest on this then ss2k?
latest? there will be a 'latest' but they'll be no developments

Yeah c'mon Sid - how've you been getting on pal?

Originally posted by cheet1889
It sounds to me like, and no disrespect intended you lack self confidence, standing and starring is no way forward, try starting a conversation if you get the cold shoulder then fair enough, but if you don't try then you will never succeed.

As for the comments about bars not been the right place to meet a potential partner, what are your suggestions then ? if work is a no go then social events are really the only opportunity for a single male/female

I think you might find that if you use Rohipnol you might have more success with ladies.

Give it a whirl. I bet she won't be able to say no (that's the idea)

If I were you I would start with the 21 year old german student you seem to have padding around your house!!

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&postid=426002#post426002

Originally posted by sammyBoy
If I were you I would start with the 21 year old german student you seem to have padding around your house!!

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&postid=426002#post426002

:confused: eh? Sid, are you in fact called Maria?

Originally posted by Andy78
:confused: eh? Sid, are you in fact called Maria?

hmmm that's strange....

Originally posted by Bedhead
hmmm that's strange....

This thread is just getting weirder and weirder.

Originally posted by sammyBoy
If I were you I would start with the 21 year old german student you seem to have padding around your house!!

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&postid=426002#post426002

How did that happen. Someone else has been making posts using my name.

I think it must be at Sheffield Uni as all their computers are shared.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
How did that happen. Someone else has been making posts using my name.

I think it must be at Sheffield Uni as all their computers are shared.

Maybe you didnt log out or something...

Originally posted by tim_rutter
Maybe you didnt log out or something...

Either that or you seriously need to see a psychiatrist about your dissociative personality disorder.

Even if you log out it is still possible to get onto Sheffield Forum under someone else's name because it is a shared system. The computers automatically store the last few website addresses and you can just click on it.

It is a loophole in the system. I don't know what can be done about it but I have noticed it before.

Click on 'Logout' before you leave the computer.

<<<<<<<<< it's over here.

Not rocket science, really...

Forget the stray postings for now....

Can we please get back to the point of this post slimsid2000 - what's happening??

Have you discovered any excellent pulling bars or have you decided to take another approach after all the advice everyone has offered you?
:)

Nothing has happened as yet. I only go out to bars once every few weeks anyway.

I think the next time I go out I will perhaps not bother with Empire but maybe go to Champs and perhaps one other on Ecclesall Road and observe. I may try making eye contact with a girl or two and see what happens.

i like the idea someone mentioned about dancing with girls who are dancing sexily near me but this is more for Empire which i will probably try the time after that.

I hope to go to another speed dating event sometime in the autumn.

I will continue to review all other options.

Someone will have probably mentioned this earlier but if dancing is an option you are interested in then what about salsa dancing? There is often a shortage of guys taking part so you should be popular!

I went with some mates to the one at the Forum last year - dunno if it is still going but was a great laugh and everyone hung around at the bar chatting after. Looked like a fun way to meet new people.

ooh just so many options for you! Have fun.

Thanks.

Yes, Salsa dancing is one of the options which I will be considering.

Slimsid,

This is your "to do" list.

1. Go with a prostitute. After 34 years you can't wait any longer. It's an obsticle you need to get over in order for you to "relax" a little around women (although you are not to bring this up in conversation with women).

2. Go and get a trendy haircut.

3. Go and buy some trendy clothes... you know, the sort you don't like.

4. Start drinking. In the unlikely event that you ever do talk to a girl it is unlikely that "I don't drink because I'm on medication and I don't like the taste anyway" will go down well. I don't care that you don't like it... DO IT! I suggest you practice a bit at home before trying it in a "live pulling environment" as excessive dribbling is also a bad thing.

5. Get some mates. A man in a bar on his own, who doesn't like booze or the music and is just "observing" will be viewed as a weirdo. You can go to evening classes etc on your own but going to a bar on your own without looking like a weirdo requires a level of confidence you clearly do not possess.

6. Practice nodding you head in the bar i.e. as if you are enjoying yourself and not there just to nonce.

7. Never, I repeat NEVER, try to pull a girl by dancing with them. You can't dance and neither I nor anyone else on here needs to see it to know it.

8. Nver admit to never having kissed or sh*gged a girl (once you have been with your pro it won't even be a lie).

9. Never go out with a "loaded gun" (see Something About Mary if explanation required) as it makes you more desparate.


Try the above and report back.

Slimsid isn't the only fella in his position. There must be thousands in his position up and down the country, and like him going the wrong way about it (as all of us will have done at some point in our lives). But he shouldn't have to take flak or cruel jibes because of his inability to get a woman, and it can't be a pleasant experience for him to make an instant enemy out of every woman he meets, especially as he's probably a decent fellah at heart, and a damned sight better than many a fellah who pull women like rabbits out of a hat - especially the jack the lads of this world, and one of the unfairnesses of the game of love seems to be the fact that so many women land with a fellah who beats them black and blue - the overflowing battered wives refuges up and down the country are proof of this - and very often one of the Slimsids of this world will have been brushed aside to make way for that sort of thug.

All too often, women seem to think the best men are the loud and aggressive types, and the shyer ones, of which Slimsid is one aren't worth bothering about, or are objects for hurling abuse at. And I notice that Zamo mentioned the clientele who see someone on their own in a bar as a weirdo, but who are the vast majority of the clientele to judge someone else, when they're probably nobodies themselves, and some of those who view others as weirdoes are far from perfect themselves. All too often, I hear people boast about being arrested, appearing in court, fined or being sent to prison, as if they've done something great? Are these sorts seriously better than the Slimsids of this world? Because many people seem to treat them as if they are. And some of these wrongdoing boasters will have the gall to cast judgement on the Slimsids and call them weirdoes, when all they are are criminally-minded scum.

But as for Slimsid, concentrate on your course and your future career ambitions, forget the girls, widen your circle of friends, move away if you have to once graduating (might not be a bad idea because Sheffield doesn't seem to be doing much for you), and I'm sure that with a career behind you, you'll eventually get to know a far better class of girl than the sort you've been used to getting knocked back by.

not to defend the sorts of people you're talking about, but it is a bit odd to go and sit in a bar on your own, especially if you're the shy type.

Just depends when you're in the bar. During the day, maybe no problem, but in the evening there's no way I would want to be in a bar on my own.

Originally posted by firecracker
But as for Slimsid, concentrate on your course and your future career ambitions, forget the girls, widen your circle of friends, move away if you have to once graduating (might not be a bad idea because Sheffield doesn't seem to be doing much for you), and I'm sure that with a career behind you, you'll eventually get to know a far better class of girl than the sort you've been used to getting knocked back by.

Absolutely sparkling advice there ...

Forget the ladies slimsid. Develop yourelf. Your fitness. Your career. Your other interests.

I'd certainly recommend forgetting women altogether and putting all your time and energy in to developing yourself, both professionaly and as a person.

You'll find that in no time, you will be very happy with yourself, have pride in yourself and your achievements, and women will be hunting you down (not the other way around).

In short. Make yourself such a good catch, that women pursue you. Never pursue the woman.

slim post a link to ur pic on hotornot :D

Originally posted by firecracker

And I notice that Zamo mentioned the clientele who see someone on their own in a bar as a weirdo, but who are the vast majority of the clientele to judge someone else, when they're probably nobodies themselves, and some of those who view others as weirdoes are far from perfect themselves.

They are the people that Slim is looking to find a girlfriend from. Therefore, whether you like it or not, their impressions count.

My post might have sounded like a p*ss take but I actually meant every bit of it!

The only other positive bit of advice I could give would be to go for the real porkers. fat birds are always grateful. ;)

You may dismiss this idea completely (and I haven't yet read this entire thread) but have you tried joining some of the online dating sites and finding someone that way? They're not all desperate crazies and you can meet some really nice people online. I met met my current partner online almost exactly a year ago and we're now happily living together.

If you can put across an interesting and friendly conversation and don't start asking her boob size or favourite sexual position then you may find some female friends that way. I've met a few girls online this way and as long as you're pleasant, friendly, have a good sense of humour and don't come on too strong then you should be able to get a few good contacts. If you want info on some decent online dating sites then pm me.

Cheers

P

Originally posted by slimsid2000


On a final general point (rant) can't people really understand how frustrating and upsetting it is to constantly see good looking girls evrery where and never have one even though you want one very much. Also, the same for constantly seeing males (often much younger than I) with georgous girls..

Its frustrating for most single men.

Seriously,

the best way of meeting girls you want to have a relationship with is to go out in a group. I don't mean a 10 drunken lads group but a small and preferably mixed group. You are at uni. Why not ask everyone if they fancy going for a drink after a class? We used to go out regularly after lectures/classes to the pub. Thats how we got to know wach other and that's how you make the majority of friends.

Your best chances of meeting someone is through friends/socialising. Why do these people you go out with have to be single? The point is you go out with a group of people. You can get talking to girls without the sole intention of pulling them you know

As said before if you go out with the sole intention of pulling you will never have any chance of success and all that could be hoped for would be a very drunk girl.

Are there any good bars that have a slightly older clientel than Empire where I would stand a better chance?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Are there any good bars that have a slightly older clientel than Empire where I would stand a better chance?

Banus!!!

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Are there any good bars that have a slightly older clientel than Empire where I would stand a better chance?

Bar Matrix

You could always try Brannigans at Centertainment. I worked in the Blackpool and the Sheffield one and it always seemed to attract mid 20s to mid 40s. Not too many kids in there from what I remember.

Best of luck

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Are there any good bars that have a slightly older clientel than Empire where I would stand a better chance?

whatever Bar Continental is called now, Yates,

and I here the average age in Trippets seems to rise dramaticly on a Wednesday night :D

:confused: Hmmmmm, best bar to pull?? I'd say Takapuna or Bar One @ student union - LOL. Best bar to meet a girlfriend? I dunno!! Where is Empire?

After reading the whole thread i'm concerned i may be turning into slimsid (sorry pal, no offence!)

Seriously, 6 weeks ago i came out of a 5 year relationship and nothing has happened, where as when i was engaged i always seemed be able to pull, example VERY nice girl comes up to me and starts talking when i'm stood talking to my ex...if only i knew what would happen...

Anyway, since being single i go to corp every saturday...not to pull (though it would be a bonus :bigsmile: ) but just to enjoy myself with the music.

Now i'm no greek god but i'm not ugly...at least that's what my mum says! but now that i'm single everything is a different ball game...not a sniff :confused:

Only been single 6 weeks but what happens if its the same in 6 months :shakes: :help:

My head is becoming more clearer, if you know what i mean and i'm the sort of person that when it happens, it will happen when i least expect it but after everything has been said about bloke on their own in pubs/clubs...will i always fail???? Should i be concerned????

Oh well, time will tell...maybe i should stop wearing slayer t-shirts and something less intense...

Hope everything works out sid, sorry about the long message folks :smile:

Originally posted by RobT

Seriously, 6 weeks ago i came out of a 5 year relationship and nothing has happened, where as when i was engaged i always seemed be able to pull, example VERY nice girl comes up to me and starts talking when i'm stood talking to my ex...if only i knew what would happen...

I think after a 5 year relationship, 6 weeks is really a bit early to be getting worried.

And, yes, most people do find themselves more attractive to the opposite sex (or their chosen preference) when they are attached. You just need to work out how you are behaving that is different (this is a lot easier said than done, there's not many people that can do it)

To be honest it may be more worrying if you were ready to jump straight into another relationship so soon. Give it some time, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with you - this kind of stuff is difficult for most people - we are all amatuers at this kind of stuff.

lol, not too worried yet!! nice to have some fun, if you know what i mean but not losing any sleep over being single

one with the best beer..................goggles?

Originally posted by RobT

Only been single 6 weeks but what happens if its the same in 6 months...
Thinking how irritating your post must have been to sid made me laugh :clap:
Don't think you need to worry too much as you've obv had a lot of experience of being in a relationship.

Might be about time someone organised an 'alternative meet' for Saturday nights at Corp - been too long since I've been.

Originally posted by SilentStatic

Might be about time someone organised an 'alternative meet' for Saturday nights at Corp - been too long since I've been.

I second that!!

Where is Banus and Mar Matrix please?

banus is across from kingdom and matrix is next to grosvenor hotel down moor...

"but maybe go to Champs and perhaps one other on Ecclesall Road and observe" & "i like the idea someone mentioned about dancing with girls who are dancing sexily near me"..... PMSL......how creepy, look out girls! :help:


Originally posted by slimsid2000
Nothing has happened as yet. I only go out to bars once every few weeks anyway.

I think the next time I go out I will perhaps not bother with Empire but maybe go to Champs and perhaps one other on Ecclesall Road and observe. I may try making eye contact with a girl or two and see what happens.

i like the idea someone mentioned about dancing with girls who are dancing sexily near me but this is more for Empire which i will probably try the time after that.

I hope to go to another speed dating event sometime in the autumn.

I will continue to review all other options.

perhaps...

fat+ugly+old would increase chance 3 fold.... :heyhey:

Originally posted by Zamo
They are the people that Slim is looking to find a girlfriend from. Therefore, whether you like it or not, their impressions count.

My post might have sounded like a p*ss take but I actually meant every bit of it!

The only other positive bit of advice I could give would be to go for the real porkers. fat birds are always grateful. ;)

There have been occasions in the past of girls coming and sitting near me in bars/clubs but without talking to me. Do people think that in a situation like this it would be a good idea for me to start talking to them?

Views welcome.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
There have been occasions in the past of girls coming and sitting near me in bars/clubs but without talking to me. Do people think that in a situation like this it would be a good idea for me to start talking to them?

Views welcome.

well yeah, deffo, that is if your in the mood of course

Do people feel that by sitting near me the girls are trying to send a signal to me that they may be interesed, or are they just finding somewhere to sit?

All depends on eye contact mate.

No EC "look theres a spare seat"

EC "Lets sit there and see if he says owt"

Option 1) you'll probly get the cold shoulder
Option 2) get in there!!!!

Thanks Safia, that makes it a little clearer.

Ten years ago I was in Uropa early on, when it was almost empty. A couple of girls came and sat near me even though there were plenty of free seats in the club. One of them was wearing a short skirt and sat down with her legs crossed and a lot of thigh exposed.

Neither of them spoke to me or even made that much eye contact but I have often wondered if it could have been a signal for me to start talking to them. I suppose I like to flatter myself that it was but I have never known one way or the other.

Sid

The short skirt etc dont mean owt - loads of lasses go out like that and it means absolutely nothing about there "availabilty" (sorry ladies I couldnt think of a better word there :( ) You gotta stop thinking like that.

I find, like most things in life, its best to err on the side of optimism.

In my experience you are expected to make the first move as a bloke (tho there have been one or two exceptions :D) so if in doubt lean over and say summat daft (though NOT a cheesy chat up line).

I've found this fails more than it works (Brad Pitt i ain't) but relentless cheery optimism always wins in the end :thumbsup:

I have tried this lean over and say something technique many times - I'm normally a witty fella - but when I try to talk to some "bird" in a club I generally blurt out something dreadful that is received with a smirk. I think its an automatic reflex that I will just have to put up with. I have basically given up trying. Some people are born with charm, some are not. :)
I find I have more success by getting out and meeting people!

Slimsid. Do you ever go out and meet people?

In what context do you mean.

I am a member of a drama group for example and also a uni student.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
In what context do you mean.

I am a member of a drama group for example and also a uni student.

Exactly that! Have you not met any girls in these places who you like? No good sitting on a stool in a bar, better to go out with people you have met in, say, your drama group and who you know a bit. Then, because you have something in common, starting a conversation is easy.

The more I think about it, the more I realise that almost none of my friends who are in relationships met as a result of chatting someone up in a bar. They all met through situation - whether living in the same halls of residence or being on the same course or just joining the same club.

:help:


Originally posted by slimsid2000
Thanks Safia, that makes it a little clearer.

Ten years ago I was in Uropa early on, when it was almost empty. A couple of girls came and sat near me even though there were plenty of free seats in the club. One of them was wearing a short skirt and sat down with her legs crossed and a lot of thigh exposed.

Neither of them spoke to me or even made that much eye contact but I have often wondered if it could have been a signal for me to start talking to them. I suppose I like to flatter myself that it was but I have never known one way or the other.

Originally posted by BertieBasset
:help:

:hihi:

I do sometimes wonder if this guy is for real...

would be a night of entertainment watching you in action, with your own narration to supplement it....

i'd love to see him trying to pull.... :hihi:

Originally posted by tim_rutter
:hihi:

I do sometimes wonder if this guy is for real...

The more I read, the more scared I get. This is either a great big wind up, or someone with serious issues.

Originally posted by TheWatcher
The more I read, the more scared I get. This is either a great big wind up, or someone with serious issues.

Either way he needs to get out more...:hihi:

I think the girls would feel happier if he stayed in more.... :gag:

Originally posted by tim_rutter
Either way he needs to get out more...:hihi:

We need to amalgamate all these threads into the "Slimsids Love Life Megathread - Discuss it here"

but of course it;s all a wind-up

i mean - '10 years ago i saw a girl who may have showed me a bit of leg', could have been the start of somethng magical oh how i rue that day blahblahblah etcetc

edit: contributors own words to add emphasis :D

if you're 34 Sid, realistically what kind of girls, age, looks, background etc are you after?

Once you know this it would be better to frequent some bars at the expense of others...

Also what do you think are your most appealing aspects to the opposite sex?

I would say a 34 year old bloke will struggle to pull in town as it's generally a younger crowd...best advice may be "set your standards low and be prepared to drop them...." :hihi:

Originally posted by Bedhead
but of course it;s all a wind-up

i mean - '10 years ago i saw a girl who may have showed me a bit of leg', could have been the start of somethng magical oh how i rue that day blahblahblah etcetc

edit: contributors own words to add emphasis :D

I was actually in Champs on Friday. Lots of very nice well done up ladies. However, they were mostly late teens/early 20 and the "you're fit and don't you know it" types.

Maybe another 0 on the salary, a jag and a trendy flat and you'll be well away:D

Originally posted by tim_rutter
Exactly that! Have you not met any girls in these places who you like? No good sitting on a stool in a bar, better to go out with people you have met in, say, your drama group and who you know a bit. Then, because you have something in common, starting a conversation is easy.



I have tried but none of the girls I have met through this group are interested in me (to put it mildly). As for Uni I am classed as a 'mature' student and consequently most of the women on my courses are older than I am really interested in.

I can assure people that it is not a wind up of any sort. I couldn't be mopre serious. I may joke about many things (as other posts will show) but I don't joke about this subject and find it anything but funny.

As for what type of girls I am looking for it is hard to define. Certainly looks are important although not the only factor. I don't have any hang ups about age in terms of being bohtered if a girl is younger than me. Afterall, I am unlikely to get a girl of the age that most males do for their first girlfriend. There are laws against that sort of thing:hihi:

i didn't realise that mature students had their own classes.

haven't we suggested before that you join one of the uni clubs, I even volunteered my jitsu club.

Originally posted by Cyclone
i didn't realise that mature students had their own classes.


I was just about to type the same reply - I didn't realise mature students were taught seperately from other students. They certainly aren't in the chemistry dept.

What age group are you interested in Sid?

Yes this is something I am considering. I am waiting for the next 'Give it a go' leaflet to be published to have a look through that. Also, I hope a speed dating noght will be in it which I hope to attend.

Originally posted by TracieJC
I was just about to type the same reply - I didn't realise mature students were taught seperately from other students. They certainly aren't in the chemistry dept.

What age group are you interested in Sid?

Yes, it is a part time degree which is mostly night classes. You do ocasionally get the odd youger student in a class but none of them have shown any interest in me.

As for what age group I am interested in it is hard to say as I don't really think in those terms. I either like a girl or I don't.

There are some attractive women closer to my own age but also perhaps more are a good bit younger.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Yes this is something I am considering. I am waiting for the next 'Give it a go' leaflet to be published to have a look through that. Also, I hope a speed dating noght will be in it which I hope to attend.

i wouldn't wait for that since it's done at the start of the 2nd and 3rd term. Get yourself to freshers fair in september and have a look at the clubs that are available.

Or just turn up, I doubt any club minds prospective members coming along for a look, we certainly don't.

Sid mate I think you need a reality check.

Somebody with your social skills (no offence like - i couldnt think of a nicer way of putting it), is going to find it nigh on impossible to date girls who are "a good bit younger".

Are you looking for a trophy or a proper girlfriend?? Cos sometimes I wonder......

There are loads of cute, funny, single thirtysomethings knocking about (apprently :blush: )

Originally posted by slimsid2000
I have tried but none of the girls I have met through this group are interested in me (to put it mildly). As for Uni I am classed as a 'mature' student and consequently most of the women on my courses are older than I am really interested in.


Well you gotta just keep trying, there's someone out there for everyone.

Slimsid - I have read many of your posts and replied once or twice

But stopped as I began to doubt how genuine you. I think that was because I thought you were ignoring good advice given e.g golden fleece for one wrote some great stuff. If wanting advice why ignore it after it's been given?

But I do think you are genuine. I personally think you are not being pro-active to make your life happier in the relationship dept. You want advice but don't appear to act on it. That is frustrating to those who offer it in good faith.. It's a case of why bother if it's ignored. But that is just my opinion. Sorry if it's harsh but it gets pointless for people trying to help if you don't it.

You say you are going to wait for speed dating night - why wait? There are lots in Sheffield happening And my mate braved it to one 2 months ago and he's still seeing his chosen girl and having a right laugh together. So it can work.

Join some clubs. Go on a Sheff Forum meet. They sound fun and one day I will go ( or spy through the window).

As others have said before in this and other posts there's lots of lonely people out there but you need to make an effort and help yourself and not put things off.

Sorry to rant but had to say it.

Other than your part time degree Sid what do you do for a living? Could you meet someone through that?

I don't do anything for a living. I just do the deree and also have creative writing.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
I don't do anything for a living. I just do the deree and also have creative writing.

ah then this may be merely an excercise in creative writing, a fictitous piece in the working as it were :clap:

There is nothing ficticious about my situation. i only wish it were.

what did you do for a living prior to doing the degree? Reason for asking is that if you give us a bit of potted history about yourself, the advice offered may be much more appropriate rather than general in nature based on what your background is.....

I think sid is genuine. I also think he has deeper issues he needs to resolve by himself (or get help with), before thinking about girls.

I think it may do him good to make friends though, and expand his social network.

Local newspaper job advert.
" Wanted girl friend part time / full time with or without experience..Immidiate start available.Ring xxx for further info . and guarenteed interview..

Empire bar is full of 16 year olds...........WHAEEEEYYY I hear you cry!! ha ha ha

and Champs is full of snobs!!

I was in the Nursery on friday and there was loadsa lovely birds in there, beer was mucho cheapo which is also good!! :D

TBH I have met most long term girlsfriends through other stuff, one from the dogs (ollerton) another from a pub where I worked when a student etc.

just relax and be yourself, well unless your a complete k**b, in which case pretend to be someone else!! ;) :D

Originally posted by robbie
Bar Matrix

Wasn't there a shooting in this bar a while back and a problem with drugs?

Is it now under new managment and what has been done to change the clientel of the bar if it is?

Thanks.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Wasn't there a shooting in this bar a while back and a problem with drugs?

Is it now under new managment and what has been done to change the clientel of the bar if it is?

Thanks.

na man its not that1, its next to it the 1 your thinking about, thatll be poo nana

Thanks Ryan. That pleases me.

i guess u have to hope that if anyone takes a pot shot at someone in Po Na Na they can shoot straight.....

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Thanks Ryan. That pleases me.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Thanks Ryan. That pleases me.

thats ok mate, i guess?

Friends can be a good source of meeting potential Girls as the whole get to no you thing is already done for you! if not i fear that stalking might be the next best thing! LOL but seriously go out with friends (safety in numbers an all that) think that your maybe concentrating a lil bit to hard on this! if you go out in an evening you will have a contorted look of some twisted man baby possesed with one agenda which off the top of my head i dont think that girls might find too inviting!

Hey I've a 33 year old female friend who's a singleton, maybe you could hook up. But then she doesn't seem to have any trouble attracting guys, in fact she has more trouble getting rid of em hehehee.

You should just chill out and relax, and if you have a female friend, go out with her, you'll feel a lot less pressure an damybe even get talking to other women.

Dunno why I'm offering advice as I'm convinced this is a wind up!!!

This thread is getting EXTREMELY long......perhaps a summary would be a good idea...if anyone can do that based on the previous 17 pages or so as things jump about a lot...

The ONLY way to be successful with Women is as follows:

Forget all the rubbish HOW TO GET GIRLS books and stuff on the internet, its ALL rubbish. Forget about trying!!!! Getting the girl is not about trying, its about being relaxed....and NOT looking for a girlfriend....

It always strikes me that whenever you go out specifically looking for a potential date or whatever, you run into problems. Your judgement becomes clouded as you are viewing every one as a potential match, and as such, your perception of yourself can become distorted, leading to rash, impulsive action, or a degree of paranoia.

The easiest way to "find a mate" shall we say is not to be looking for one. That may not make sense to you, as its hardly logical, but believe me, the best relationships come out of when you are not seeking them. Women, for eample, dont usually feel attracted to men who are too eager, too "lost puppy" like, or who appear to be alone and out "on the pull". Now there are exceptions of course, but just think about going out with friends, and too MAKE new friends and to NETWOK with such friends, and see the whole thing as non-urgent, with the only end product of expanding social horizons, rather than getting the girl.

Not very well put perhaps, the above, but I know what I mean. Now I would NEVER try speed dating or anything like that because it smacks of either total desperation, or just people "having a laugh". I dont think it would work for me as I dont function in such a time controlled environment....but perhaps it works for others.

Oh well, just a bit of advice from my perspective....I think people who are single spend too much time wishing they were not single....appreciate it while you can!!! Its the best time of your life....

Originally posted by AlquarUK
just relax and be yourself, well unless your a complete k**b, in which case pretend to be someone else!! ;) :D

Well actually, if you are a complete k**b, I'd say just be yourself (beautiful young girls always seem to go for that kind).

Originally posted by goldenfleece
This thread is getting EXTREMELY long......perhaps a summary would be a good idea...if anyone can do that based on the previous 17 pages or so as things jump about a lot...

The ONLY way to be successful with Women is as follows:

Forget all the rubbish HOW TO GET GIRLS books and stuff on the internet, its ALL rubbish. Forget about trying!!!! Getting the girl is not about trying, its about being relaxed....and NOT looking for a girlfriend....

It always strikes me that whenever you go out specifically looking for a potential date or whatever, you run into problems. Your judgement becomes clouded as you are viewing every one as a potential match, and as such, your perception of yourself can become distorted, leading to rash, impulsive action, or a degree of paranoia.

The easiest way to "find a mate" shall we say is not to be looking for one. That may not make sense to you, as its hardly logical, but believe me, the best relationships come out of when you are not seeking them. Women, for eample, dont usually feel attracted to men who are too eager, too "lost puppy" like, or who appear to be alone and out "on the pull". Now there are exceptions of course, but just think about going out with friends, and too MAKE new friends and to NETWOK with such friends, and see the whole thing as non-urgent, with the only end product of expanding social horizons, rather than getting the girl.

Not very well put perhaps, the above, but I know what I mean. Now I would NEVER try speed dating or anything like that because it smacks of either total desperation, or just people "having a laugh". I dont think it would work for me as I dont function in such a time controlled environment....but perhaps it works for others.

Oh well, just a bit of advice from my perspective....I think people who are single spend too much time wishing they were not single....appreciate it while you can!!! Its the best time of your life....

I have to say it, that was one quality post goldenfleece. I completely agree with eveything you've just said.

I think the thing with not trying, should be expanded to other areas of life too, to your whole attitude and outlook. Let things come to you easy, in their own time. Don't rush it, and enjoy every millisecond of the journey, wherever you are.

Listen to this chap, slimsid, he makes a lot of sense!

:thumbsup:

so what's your next move SlimShady?

Originally posted by robbie

I cannot think of any really good bar to meet someone (although I always seem to get harassed in Varsity :D ). A late bar would probably be a better bet 9Tripetts, Bar Matrix, Forum etc)


Why would a late bar be a better bet please?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Why would a late bar be a better bet please?



what's the difference between a dog and a fox?


























10 pints...... :hihi:

there's your answer!

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Why would a late bar be a better bet please?

for god sake mate grow a brain.

think sbout it

Forget the bar mate, its NOT the best place to meet girls......
best place is all the places you NEVER expect to meet one

walking the dog..bus stop Q, tram stop, Marks and Spencers, Tesco, Morrisons, washing the car, walking round town, HMV, Virgin, Meadowhall, cinema, you name it....ANY place in fact....

Why do people assume you are going to meet a "mate" in a bar situation. You might meet a one night stand yes, but there is more to life than one of those......and such things only serve to destroy any self confidence you had anyway.

SEE THE WORLD IN A NEW LIGHT. TAKE A STROLL THROUGH THE WONDERFUL MULTI-DIMENSIONS OF EVERYDAY LIFE.....THE GIRLS ARE ALL THERE NOT EXPECTING TO MEET YOU SO DONT EXPECT TO MEET THEM EITHER.....AND YOU WILL

I think that for those of us who aren't confident enough to go and talk to a stranger in say Waitrose may feel more confident after having a couple in a bar/pub/club

You got a point there Rob but-

Sids said he don't drink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW 10,000 views on this topic - I think young Mr Slim will be a local celeb before long :D

Cant this thread be closed??

Its getting very long and boring. Sid is beyond help. He has had many pieces of advice but chooses not to listen.

On another thread someone (cant remember name) offered to meet him at one of the forum meets to knock him into shape, but again he wouldn't (then again he may of been frightened off!! lol).

Thanks...no more rants today!

Rob

People keep saying I've been given good advice but the one common theme is to stop going to bars to meet girls.

1) I have never said that this is the only or even main way to meet a girl.

2) This is a thread about which bars are best so it is not what I wanted to hear to close down this avanue alltogether. After all, some people do meet in bars although I know a lot of people meet elsewhere.

have you any pans on the boil at the moment?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
People keep saying I've been given good advice but the one common theme is to stop going to bars to meet girls.

1) I have never said that this is the only or even main way to meet a girl.

2) This is a thread about which bars are best so it is not what I wanted to hear to close down this avanue alltogether. After all, some people do meet in bars although I know a lot of people meet elsewhere.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
People keep saying I've been given good advice but the one common theme is to stop going to bars to meet girls.

1) I have never said that this is the only or even main way to meet a girl.

2) This is a thread about which bars are best so it is not what I wanted to hear to close down this avanue alltogether. After all, some people do meet in bars although I know a lot of people meet elsewhere.

Slimsid, If we found the ideal bar. Say 2 single females to every bloke. What would your action be other than go there?? How would you approach the night? (sorry not read entire thread)

People are right when bars are not the best place to meet women. I've met most of my g/f through work although i work in an environment with lots of people.

How are your friends? I often find that many hold others back.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
People keep saying I've been given good advice but the one common theme is to stop going to bars to meet girls.

1) I have never said that this is the only or even main way to meet a girl.

2) This is a thread about which bars are best so it is not what I wanted to hear to close down this avanue alltogether. After all, some people do meet in bars although I know a lot of people meet elsewhere.

I'mnot sure what you're after.

themost single girls Ive seen who are friendly and decent (and maybe a bit too young for you) were at a student Ceilidh night)

However, you can go out to a club and if there is one girl free in the entire place who likes you then you're happy.

Apparently the Give it a Go booklet won't be published until late September.

I'd like to try speed dating again and perhaps look at some other events.

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Apparently the Give it a Go booklet won't be published until late September.

I'd like to try speed dating again and perhaps look at some other events.

Give it a go doesn't run until the 2nd term does it? We never have give it a go sessions until the 2nd and 3rd term. In the first term we just have sessions after the freshers fair.

I've been told that a booklet would be available in late Sept. I assume that there will be events in the autumn, Am I wrong? Is there no speed dating in the autumn?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
I've been told that a booklet would be available in late Sept. I assume that there will be events in the autumn, Am I wrong? Is there no speed dating in the autumn?

i've no idea about speed dating.
is there a speed dating club or society in the university?

Maybe there using the 'give it a go' brand throughout the year this time around.

The speed dating events were organised by Nightline, in association with GIAG. I thought there GIAG in the first semester, but the programme's never out until just before.
If you thnk about it, a speed dating 'club' shouldn't last for very long ;)

go on chat rooms that how i met my boyfriend of nearly 3 yrs

slimsid2000, perhaps you should forget about pulling in bars. Why not try a few organ concerts... it worked for this fella! link (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005320255,00.html) ;) :gag:

definitley go speed dating. Ive been a couple of times to the speeddater events at the revolution. You get 3 minutes to talk to a member of the opposite sex, plus chances at the breaks and after to talk to your favourites.

It can be a bit nerve-racking, but after the first couple you just get into it. have a couple of pints first is my advice!! Whilst I've never met a 'proper' girlfriend out of it, I have ended up on a few dates, and had a few fumbles!! and have got 2 really really good female friends out of it. At the end of the day you wont get a better chance to meet 20 women in one room who are ALL there looking to meet a member of the opposite sex, and who are ALL going to talk to you.

You've got nothing to lose, and every time i've been its been a great laugh. Get a mate to go down with you - and get in there son!! :)

As this is my first post it wont let put the link in, so join the gaps yourself...

check out w w w. speeddater. co. uk

Originally posted by Zamo
slimsid2000, perhaps you should forget about pulling in bars. Why not try a few organ concerts... it worked for this fella! link (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005320255,00.html) ;) :gag:

When I said I didn't mind an age difference this was not what I had in mind.:hihi:

Originally posted by Zamo
slimsid2000, perhaps you should forget about pulling in bars. Why not try a few organ concerts... it worked for this fella! link (http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005320255,00.html) ;) :gag:

Each to their own and all that, but do you think they... you know... ? Eeeeew.

perhaps she's one of those slapper pensioners - you know "get your teeth out for the lads" and all that.:hihi:

Choosing between The Empire Bar and Champs which is the best of the two to meet a proper girlfriend (ie, not a one night stand).

isn't she old enough for ya? :heyhey:

Originally posted by slimsid2000
When I said I didn't mind an age difference this was not what I had in mind.:hihi:

Are there any other bars that attract similar girls to The Empire Bar?

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Are there any other bars that attract similar girls to The Empire Bar?

you are looking for that???


ok,

Yates'
Flares
Bar Matrix
Bar Max

Have you got anywhere yet then? Just read all this with amusement...not in a nasty way.

Originally posted by JosieJo
Have you got anywhere yet then? Just read all this with amusement...not in a nasty way.


Welcome JosieJo....

The short answer is NO.

But do check out all the other threads by slimsid. And do give advice. He ignores the lot even the good stuff. But he is better than any soap opera. Getting very fond of the guy now. Feels like he's part of the family...:)

Originally posted by samc
Welcome JosieJo....

The short answer is NO.

But do check out all the other threads by slimsid. And do give advice. He ignores the lot even the good stuff. But he is better than any soap opera. Getting very fond of the guy now. Feels like he's part of the family...:)

Yeah, long live slimsid!

I think we should make a film / documentary ...

Originally posted by slimsid2000
Are there any other bars that attract similar girls to The Empire Bar?

Yeah, GOLD BARS. You'll be beating the gold diggers off with a pungee stick in no time.

any update on this folks??? has slim found a missus yet??? or does he need some more advice..

any update on this folks??? has slim found a missus yet??? or does he need some more advice..

I haven't been to either bar for some time now. The concensus of opinion seems to be that neither of them is really suitable for meeting the right girl (except perhaps a one-night-stand which I am not really looking for).