As the title says whats the best/ funniest football chant you've come across either for or against your team......................???

Your sister is your mother

Your uncle is your brother

You all <removed> one another

The norwich family

der der der der clap clap etc

Us at Carrow road a few years back,
Any team what was classed as country bumpkins gets that one.

We're ****, but youre worse than us
we're ****, but youre worse than us
we're ****, but youre worse than us
we're ****, but youre worse than us

And a good un from when i was a chabby when Leeds couldn't win away and we played em near Christmas at Hillsborough.

Jingle bells Jingle Bells jingle all the way oh what fun it is to see that Leeds can't win away, can any1 remeber that shocking run they went on in the early 90s it was a fair few away games before they got a win which i think followed on from the pevious season..

I remember they once went a WHOLE season without winning away. It was only the home form that kept them up.
Most sides, even the relegated ones, manage at least 1 away win in a season, although I can't remember if Derby managed that feat last season.

I remember they once went a WHOLE season without winning away. It was only the home form that kept them up.
Most sides, even the relegated ones, manage at least 1 away win in a season, although I can't remember if Derby managed that feat last season.

I don't know if it was the same season, thats the beauty of this here net i will have a gander.

I don't know if it was the same season, thats the beauty of this here net i will have a gander.

It was immediately after they won the Championship under Howard Wilkinson, that they went a season and a half without winning an away game.

What year was it and im sure we were losing at some point in that game did it end up 3-3 or summat??

It was immediately after they won the Championship under Howard Wilkinson, that they went a season and a half without winning an away game.

Indeed it was. They won the league at the hallowed ground in 1991/2, the last year of "Division One" as the top flight. The following year (the first year of the "FA Premier League"), they went all season without winning an away match.

Division One final table 1991/2 (http://www.statto.com/football/stats/england/division-one-old/1991-1992)

FA Premier League final table 1992/3 (http://www.statto.com/football/stats/england/premier-league/1992-1993/table)

Liverpool's chant for Crouchy
He's tall, he's a red,his feet stick out the bed Peter Crouch Peter Crouch

I liked Liverpool's

"Don't blame it on Biscan! Don't blame it on Hamann! Don't blame it on Finnan!

Blame it on Traore!

(He just can't, he just can't, he just can't control his feet ......)

Last season's Man City one was good too, to the tune of "500 Miles"

"You can have five hundred million, and you can have five hundred more, 'cos Thaksin's got another billion underneath his bedroom floor! Shinawatra! Shinaatra! Dum diddy dum diddy dum dum dum dum dum dum!"

Definitely not in the best of taste, but I liked the Hibs retort to Hearts, despite being 4-0 down a few years ago of,

"If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next ....."

We've got Akpo Sodje, he smokes somethin dodgy! Na na na na Ooo! Na na na na Ooo!

Same as the 90's song about Carlton Palmer. :D

To a Schizophrenic Andy Goram;

Two Andy Gorams,
There's only two Andy Gorams.

Also to Ian Wright;
Whose got a big fat wife,
Whose got a big fat wife,
Ian Wright, Ian Wright,
He's got a big fat wife

Man U fans to Tim Howard, a Turretts sufferer

"Chim chimmery, chim chimmery, chim chim cherroo
We've got Tim Howard and he'll say **** you "

The one the Mancs sing to the Scousers to the tune of don't take my sunshine away!

He's just a scouser
an ugly scouser
he's only happy on giro day
His dad is stealin
his mums drug dealin
please dont take my hubcaps away:thumbsup:

at the lane I have heard someone behind me sing

When the ball hits your head
when your'e sat on row zed
thats Montgomery



and also because of the muppet referees we have had

Im blind
Im deaf
I wanna be a ref

i read in a magazine the chant for jeffers(not that it gets said much)
he's (dont know this part)
he's scouse
he looks like mickey mouse
franny jeffers, franny jeffers.
made me smile when i read it anyway

Preston fans at the Lane yesterday (and they did the same a few years ago when leading 2-0, only to end up losing 3-2...)
"Are you Wednesday in disguise?"... talk about asking for a beating :)

Well, as a Blade, it was funny to be sat listening to Rovrum chant "Are you Wednesday in disguise?" to the Leeds fans when they beat them in the Johnstone's Paint Trophy the other week.

It would appear that it's not just Blades who don't like Wednesday!

haha the kenny's wife ones are hilarious, the majority of the second half was just abuse at him.

If you've had kenny's missus, had kenny's missus, had kenny's missus clap your hands * cue a large amount of clapping lol

As the title says whats the best/ funniest football chant you've come across either for or against your team......................???

I recall one from a few years back (10 maybe) when we had Emerson Thome.

It was to the sound of 'little drummer boy' something like

'He looks like Paul Warhurst he's Emerson Thome, Emerson Thome, Emerson Thome'

Can anyone remember it correctly ?

Or 'A Hula Wednesday where dy get those eyes' a Hula Wednesday in paradise' or at least I think it was.?


Feel free to correct me on this.

I always like singing the tracksuit from matalan song to the Barnsley fans, what a giggle it is seeing there faces.

this one makes me chuckle. sang by the united fc fans.

also heard a good rendition of it in the bankers when a line of police came to check that 200 blades were enjoying them selves after the derby.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=PCXHbCYvzjI

a couple more from united fc. these lads know how to get behind them.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=DMJN5YeoRis&feature=related

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=3v3Tdef_yhw&feature=related

one of the funniest chants I heard was whilst watching M*n United play one of the London Teams (The Arsenal or Chelsea) In London, and the chant, from the home fans against M*n U supporters was:-

"Home in five minutes!
You'll be home in five minutes
Home in five minutes!!!"

and :-
"Live round the corner!
You only live round the corner!
Live round the corner!"

En route to their 1995 European Cup Winners Cup success, Real Zaragoza met Feyenoord in the quarter final (and lost the first leg 1-0 ,depite dominating what was a cracking game).

The game was however delayed for what I seem to recollect was about 10 minutes, due to a floodlight failure. Whilst I do not speak the Dutch language, I was still able to pick up the irony when the Feyenoord fans started singing that the lights were made by Philips !!!

I always like singing the tracksuit from matalan song to the Barnsley fans, what a giggle it is seeing there faces.

Former Palace keeper Gabor Kiraly used to get that regularly, as he looked liked he'd just got some bogof trackie bottoms/pyjamas from Matalan...

About 20 years ago, away at Preston on NYE, when they still had a plastic pitch... this Preston fan about 20 yards away from the United fans is sporting his new Christmas gift from his mum (presumably), a cardigan in a very bright pink...

Leading to almost constant chants of "Pink cardi, pink cardi, pink cardi..." :) I think he left at half-time, with a red face to complement his top :D

When the late Ian Porterfield replaced Alex Ferguson at Aberdeen, it had to have been one of the toughest acts to follow of all time, and the negative tactics he adopted, did not endear him to their faithful. (He was referred to as “Portaloo”)

The level of venom directed at him, was evident in their adaptation of a carol, which I now repeat here as a seasonal offering .

Once in Sheffield’s dismal city,
lived a nerd name Portaloo.,
He was boring and defensive,
and a drunken driver too.
Hark now hear those Dons fans shout,
Get that Effing Turkey out.

Setanta right now has the West Sham vs Pigs match on from 1999-2000 season.
Petr Rudi just scored to make it 1-1 and the little grunters are singing Paulo, Paulo whats the score ...turns out they wont be singing for long because they lost 4-3 and went down that season ;)

Pretty awful team that season --- Wim Jonk :hihi::hihi:

Setanta right now has the West Sham vs Pigs match on from 1999-2000 season.
Petr Rudi just scored to make it 1-1 and the little grunters are singing Paulo, Paulo whats the score ...turns out they wont be singing for long because they lost 4-3 and went down that season ;)

Pretty awful team that season --- Wim Jonk :hihi::hihi:

He got really stroppy when we sang it to him in the return game which we won 3-1 though.

Your lot singing "we are staying up" with several games to go the other season was quite funny.

He got really stroppy when we sang it to him in the return game which we won 3-1 though.

Your lot singing "we are staying up" with several games to go the other season was quite funny.

"We're all going on a European Tour" by the Wednesday fans was a good one, more of a short break rather than a Tour :thumbsup:

To Warnock on many occassions by the Blades;

Warnock, knock him out,
Warnock, Warnock knock him out

Was funny when we played Palace last season and we sung it to Warnock v Robson!!

"We're all going on a European Tour" by the Wednesday fans was a good one, more of a short break rather than a Tour :thumbsup:

And what did your lot sing on your last European tour, apart from "It's a long way to Tipperary"?

To the tune of My Darling Clementine:

"Who's your father?
Who's your father?
Who's your father referee?
You ain't got one, your a bas...."

Unfortunately the drunk bloke I heard singing it at 3am got distracted so I never heard the last line but it made me smile ;)

"We're all going on a European Tour" by the Wednesday fans was a good one, more of a short break rather than a Tour :thumbsup:

Hehehe, I remember singing that on the Kop. :D

Another seasonal offering, again originating from Scotland.

Two years ago Hearts played at Ibrox on the Saturday before Christmas, and it was reported their fans were singing:-

"Feed the 'Weegies"; "Let them know it's Christmas time"!

To Sam Sodje when he was at Huddesfield;

"He ain't Effie, he's his brother"

Directed at Mr Van Persie just after recent press allegations of rape. To the tune of Craig David's 'Rewind':

"Van Per-sie! When a girl says 'no' - molest her!"

"Sun Ji, wherever he may be. They eat dogs in his home country!"

To the tune of Yellow Submarine:

We all live in a Robbie Fowler house, a Robbie Fowler house, a Robbie Fowler house.

Man City fans used to sing this to Fowler 'cos he's something of a property tycoon and owns loads of houses.

"Sun Ji, wherever he may be. They eat dogs in his home country!"


Alternatively...

"He shoots, he scores, he'll eat your labrador - Sun Ji Hi"

Shamelessly borrowed from another forum :hihi:

"Sun Ji, wherever he may be. They eat dogs in his home country!"

That was a Manure song Jazzy.

"Park, Park, wherever you may be,
You eat dogs in your home country.
But it could have been worse,
You could have been a Scouse,
Eating rats in a council house."

I love the Leon Clarke chant although a bit cruel thought it was very funny when i first heard it....... He looks like jordans baby he eats chips and gravy Leon clarke clarke clarke Leon Clarke clarke clarke:hihi:

There was one sung at hillsboro in the 70s about mrs rolls toffee rolls are the best,and it included a line about her making strawberry jelly from her breast.Anyone remember it in total/

The one that Liverpool fans sing about Phil Thompsons big nose, to the tune of let it snow.


Oh the shadow is really frightenin
stops the sun from shinin light in
you can see it everywhere that he goes
Thompsons nose Thompsons nose Thompsons nose

Another by liverpool fans about duncan ferguson who got injured a bit


In for a week, out for a month
In for a week, out for a month
In for a week, out for a month
Duncan is a tampon

(To Reda Johnon)

Reda, Tie 'em up
Reda, Reda Tie 'em up!

heard this on the kop against herefore yesterday!

(To Reda Johnon)

Reda, Tie 'em up
Reda, Reda Tie 'em up!

heard this on the kop against herefore yesterday!

Tie who up...the 4 or 5 convicts in the squad :hihi::hihi::hihi:

Tie who up...the 4 or 5 convicts in the squad :hihi::hihi::hihi:

just a song by some wednesdayites, we have a sense of humour and can laugh at ourselves, you;ve got to or it'll send you mental!

We all agree,
Sabellas a chimpanzee,
he might have come by air or he might have come by sea,
but one thing is for sure,
he better ---- off back.

Bramall Lane 1980 by wednesday on uniteds Kop 1980; just after Terry Curran scored the equaliser and again when Curran kicked him about 3 feet away from ref & ref missed it - he did need glasses.

There's one song i heard owls fans singing to bradford city fans which included "ooooh ooooh me hairs on fire,me hairs on fire,me hairs on fire,ooooh,ooooh me hairs on fire me hairs on fire....
Sickening i know but that's Football terraces for you:mad::mad::mad:

B.C.F.C
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4D4VtTfmjII

some years ago djimi traore scored an own goal playing for liverpool and the kop had a song to the tune of blame it on the boogie that went

dont blame it on biscan
dont blame on Hamman
dont blame it on finnan
blame it on traore
he just cant, he just cant, he just cant control his feet.


classic

Us yesterday, were going to Wembley lolol
We're allowed to dream haha...

Us yesterday, were going to Wembley lolol


That fits under the FUNNIEST football chant ;)

That fits under the FUNNIEST football chant ;)

We were louder than Bramall lane though :hihi:

Sweet Carroll 9, nah nah nahhh, scooring never looked soo goood!!!!!!

There was one sung at hillsboro in the 70s about mrs rolls toffee rolls are the best,and it included a line about her making strawberry jelly from her breast.Anyone remember it in total/

Mrs Halls Toffee rolls are the best,
Mrs Halls Toffee rolls are the greatest,
She takes strawberry milk from the breast,
And her husband does the rest...

Another song sung on the Kop in the early 70s' and pretty apt now.

We shall overcome
We shall overcome
We shall overcome some day

Oh, deep in my ****
I do believe......
We shall overcome some day.......

We signed him from the PNE Mellor Mellor
We signed him from the PNE Mellor Mellor
We signed him from the PNE he wears the number 33
Neil Mellor Wednesdays 33

Heard on the Bramall Lane terraces in the 60's, sung to the tune "Jesamine"

What am I supposed to do
With a girl like John Ritchie

(John Ritchie 1941-2007. A great centre forward for the owls. RIP)

U N I , T E D,

That spells massive debt to me,

With a nick, nack paddy wack,

We are filthy rich,

We've got Milan Mandaric!

do like the current celtic one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u7yFEdeSgQ

also, guess there was a goal or sommat at the end of the video lol

Enjoyed it at Brum with the lack of home fans and the old chants...

Theres a circus in the town,in the town,harry haslam is the clown is the clown,
with alan woodward,kieth edwards too,thier the monkeys in the zoo,in the zoo.

I'm enjoying the chant to random chavs of "Tracksuit from Matalan, tracksuit from Matalan"

Mod Note

Posts removed for swearing and being offensive, save it for the terraces please, keep doing it on the forum and further measures will be taken.

tracksuit from matalan is right funny me and robbie went to emirates when we got thumped 6 nil all united fans were chanting it at this arsenal fan he got right wound up and ended up getting kicked out by stewards lol (obviously was from matalan lol)

We don't talk of the 6-0 mauling meeky ;)

tracksuit from matalan is right funny me and robbie went to emirates when we got thumped 6 nil all united fans were chanting it at this arsenal fan he got right wound up and ended up getting kicked out by stewards lol (obviously was from matalan lol)

Yeah the tracksuit from matalan is a classic chant lolololol...

He's Blue
He's White
He'll set your car alight

Gary Madineeee
Gary Madineeee!!!

He's Blue
He's White
He'll set your car alight

Gary Madineeee
Gary Madineeee!!!

I think it's great the owls can promote such behaviour

I think it's great the owls can promote such behaviour

More like a P take he was released without charge, & HOW'S IT GO

He's Blue
He's White
He'll set your car alight

Gary Madineeee
Gary Madineeee!!! :hihi::hihi:

More like a P take he was released without charge, & HOW'S IT GO

He's Blue
He's White
He'll set your car alight

Gary Madineeee
Gary Madineeee!!! :hihi::hihi:

So are owls saying the judicial system got it erroneous?

so are owls saying the judicial system got it erroneous?

verrrrrrrrrrrrrry wrong

More like a P take he was released without charge, & HOW'S IT GO

He's Blue
He's White
He'll set your car alight

Gary Madineeee
Gary Madineeee!!! :hihi::hihi:

Quite funny that one....:hihi: (although I dont condone that sort of thing :) )

Two blokes behind me at Scunny yesterday singing to the tune of "Kumbaya"

Stephen Quinn my Lord, Stephen Quinn, Stephen Quinn My Lord, Stephen Quinn

I think it's great the owls can promote such behaviour

you've not heard the Ched Evans version lol

you've not heard the Ched Evans version lol

Nor do I want to.

Ryan giggs is illegitimate
He aint got no birth cerificate
Hes got clap and cant get rid of it
dirty welsh.......

Another one from the liverpool fans.

We are thirteen going on fourteen.

Alfreton fans just before the end of a recent game.

Here's two one with a little word changing from me & then one for CB, just a bit of fun

You fill up my senses
Like a gallon of lambrini
Like a packet of cheesy puffs
Like a good pinch of snuff
Like a night out with tevez
Like a greasy chip butty
Like Sheffield United
Come bore me again....
Na Na Na Naa Naa Naaaaa, ooo!

CanadaToronto FC have also adapted the song, and they sell chip butties at matches at BMO Field.

You fill up my senses,
Like a gallon of Fifty,
Like a Tim's double-double,
And a big WALNUT CRUNCH!
Like a night out at Beeee-MO,
Like a greasy chip butty...
Like Tor-on-to F-C,
Come fill me again!
Na na na na naa Ooo!

one of the best un i heard, was whilst getting beat at maine road, a wednesday fan started to sing an owls song, which absolutely no one joined in with, so he sat back down and then about 5 seconds later , jumped and started singing "on my own, on my own ,on my own" which loads of fans joined in with, was funny as hell

I think it's great the owls can promote such behaviour

how bigs that horse your on ? ive seen worse aint you ? ive heard blades saying after ched scored "lets set our rapist on huddersfield"

Nor do I want to.

i wont say it on here or else im sure ill get a holiday ... ill save it for the terraces!

how bigs that horse your on ? ive seen worse aint you ? ive heard blades saying after ched scored "lets set our rapist on huddersfield"

You've heard more then than I have not heard any Blades saying that at all and why should they
The majority of us go by the understanding innocent until proven guilty

You've heard more then than I have not heard any Blades saying that at all and why should they
The majority of us go by the understanding innocent until proven guilty

Matey i would not state it if it wasnt true and no i cant provide link etc etc so take my word for it or not its up to you

Matey i would not state it if it wasnt true and no i cant provide link etc etc so take my word for it or not its up to you

If true it isn't the best or funny anyway.

If true it isn't the best or funny anyway.

Gotcha alex back on topic :D

Matey i would not state it if it wasnt true and no i cant provide link etc etc so take my word for it or not its up to you

I didn't say you were lying I said "You've heard more then than I have not heard any Blades saying that at all and why should they"
You said that You had heard it from Blades I said I hadn't
AS you hang around with a different crowd to me the chances are either of us will hear things the other set don't

Oh Ginger Quinny, you're the love of my life, oh Ginger Quinny, i'll let you shag my wife, oh ginger Quinny, I want ginger hair too!

I didn't say you were lying I said "You've heard more then than I have not heard any Blades saying that at all and why should they"
You said that You had heard it from Blades I said I hadn't
AS you hang around with a different crowd to me the chances are either of us will hear things the other set don't

Point taken no offence intended

Oh Ginger Quinny, you're the love of my life, oh Ginger Quinny, i'll let you shag my wife, oh ginger Quinny, I want ginger hair too!

we sing the same but about James O'Conner

Oh Ginger Quinny, you're the love of my life, oh Ginger Quinny, i'll let you shag my wife, oh ginger Quinny, I want ginger hair too!

:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:.

Now that's funny, see you in three days pal.:D:D:D:D........

Oh Ginger Quinny, you're the love of my life, oh Ginger Quinny, i'll let you shag my wife, oh ginger Quinny, I want ginger hair too!

Geordies sing it about carlochini <sp> and his curly hair

Geordies sing it about carlochini <sp> and his curly hair

Ay, i've heard it before........Cardiff sing it about Kevin McNaughton!!

Its not original but still rather funny!!

just remembered this classic from elland road after brunty's magnificent 40+ yarder

wisey , what have you done
you've took l@@ds down to division 1
you wont win a cup, you wont win a shield
your biggest game will be huddersfield

Something last night apparently sung by the Blades went along the lines of;

"You sold Le Fondre and we're all off to Le Chambre" - not sure exactly how it went :)

Something last night apparently sung by the Blades went along the lines of;

"You sold Le Fondre and we're all off to Le Chambre" - not sure exactly how it went :)

Yes I heard the "Le Fondre" bit, couldn't make out the rest, also seemed to be loads of chants about Rotherham fans shopping at Matalan.

He looks like a chimp,
He looks like a chiiiiiiimp,
Gareth Bale,
He looks like a chimp

Stoke fans just now!!