How many of you would like to share your most embarrassing moment with us, I have had a few, like getting my butt whipped in the pub(on two seperate occasions) by semi naked females, but my most embarrassing moment has to be when I visited the dentist about 10 years ago. I had just moved house and it was my first visit to my new dentist, it was a dark winter evening and my wife dropped me off outside the dentist surgery, I went up the drive into the dentist and told the receptionist my name and she told me to sit in the waiting room. Ten minutes later the receptionist called my name and told me to go up the stairs and through the green door, so I did, to be greeted by the dentist and his assistant.'Take a seat', the dentist said, so I proceeded to settle myself in the dentist chair, like you do, and as I raised my right foot on to the chair to finally settle I noticed a lump of dog s**t the size of a cow pat stuck to my shoe. Have you ever noticed how you don't smell it until you see it...well I thought I better mention it before the dentist or his assistant noticed it...'Oh never....what's that ?' I proclaimed, while staring at my foot, 'Oh dear', said the dentist, 'yeuhhh', said his assistant as she scrambled for some tissues and proceeded to hand them to me so I could remove the foul deposit....I apologised profusely and muttered my contempt....I must have trod in it as I got out of the car and never noticed it as I sat in the waiting room....very embarrassing !
Well that's mine whats yours ?

January 1965 – during my first month of teaching mathematics at Wath-on-Dearne Grammar School.

Subject Matter – the area of an annulus.

That day, thirty-six twelve year-olds had a heading in their exercise books: Area of an Anus!

I was once waving goodbye to a friend, then I turned round and walked into a lamp post. It wouldn't have been so bad, were it not for the queue of people watching me at the bus stop opposite. I also once tripped over and ended up flat on my face, on Trippet Lane of all places.

Heres mine:

I'd just been to the girlfriends house and had a very large meal with her parents. Trying to impress them by talking about all sorts of different things. The meal was very filling and I could soon feel the gases brewing in my stomach waiting to be let out so I kindly left the table pretending to want some fresh air.

She told me she'd join me in a sec and so I casually walked to the end of the drive towards my car, there was a small wall that curved around the end of the drive so I was out of view. As soon as i got around it I let it rip! and it wasn't a shorty either it went on like an orchestra for at least a good 30 seconds.

Feeling much better, I walked back around to find her parents in stitches and her red faced!! they had all followed me down there for FRESH AIR! :o

Excellent - are you still together !!!!!

Hmmm, sounds like a scene for Shrek 3 :P

Mine is also a fart moment!!

A few years ago I worked as a playworker at a school holiday playcare scheme. One of the games we played was "duck, duck. goose" where you all sit in a circle and one person walks round tapping each in turn on the head. If they say 'duck' you stay put but if they say 'goose' you get up and chase the person round the circle to try and get back to your place before they do.

I was sat in the circle and the person who was 'on' tapped my head and shouted 'goose'. As I jumped up to chase them I let out the most almighty fart you have ever heard!! I have never been so embarrassed in my life as kids can be sooooooo cruel!!

Even now, if I see any of them, they still take great delight in reminding me of my massive fart!!

Originally posted by FetishFairy
Mine is also a fart moment!!

A few years ago I worked as a playworker at a school holiday playcare scheme. One of the games we played was "duck, duck. goose" where you all sit in a circle and one person walks round tapping each in turn on the head. If they say 'duck' you stay put but if they say 'goose' you get up and chase the person round the circle to try and get back to your place before they do.

I was sat in the circle and the person who was 'on' tapped my head and shouted 'goose'. As I jumped up to chase them I let out the most almighty fart you have ever heard!! I have never been so embarrassed in my life as kids can be sooooooo cruel!!

Even now, if I see any of them, they still take great delight in reminding me of my massive fart!!

:P Ha Ha Ha! Nice one Fetish! did you catch the kid before he got around the circle?... with your Nitro power!.

Okay this is my moment..

There was a girl I was mad on at college and, seeing as how the Granville College Christmas do was approaching at Steeleys, I plucked up courage to ask her. Typically she was none commital and said that she'd see.
I was playing 5-A-Side in the college gym when she appeared at the door. At an appropriate moment she dashed accross and put a piece of paper with her phone number down my sock! My chest puffed out and I played the rest of the game like Peter Shilton.
It took me a couple of days to pluck up courage but, while babysitting at my sisters house, i took the plunge and called her. She answered and arkwardly I said "look I really like you and I'd love it if you'd come to Steeleys with me".. she was just about to answer me when I turned around to see that my baby nephew had followed me into the hall with no nappy on and laid the biggest elephant poo you've ever seen on the carpet! As he made to prod it I quickly had to stutter " look I'll ring you back only the baby's pooed on the carpet!" - stunned silence - "I'll speak to you at college sometime" she says and puts the phone down.. denied.
So, as if that wasn't bad enough for a 17 year old, I went to the Christmas do at Steeleys anyway. I sat in a corner boozing as per, when who should I see but the girl of my dreams.. with another bloke! She saw me and signalled that she'd be over in a minute. A while later she came over and put her arm around me " look, don't get bladdered on my behalf" she says " I really like you too but I was going to tell you that I already go out with someone - and then you told me about your baby". Then she says, "lets have a dance because he's gone on somewhere else". Bingo! I was in with a shout!.. went out to the dance floor and what comes on? 'Don't stop the cavalry' by Jonah Louie!!!! the most twee, bob-up-and-downy, christmassy parping record ever. So we had this arkward sort of square dance and that was it!
Well, I've often said to that pooing baby, now a strapping 24 year old, that his mistimed nappy full changed the course of my life LOL

Funny how peoples embarassing moments revolve around girlfriends/boyfriends and people and they fancy?

Mine involved being given chili vodka to drink, vomit and eating a birthday cake and advent calender which, wasnt mine ooops. I then spent two days off sixth form due to bruised ribs from vomiting too much (nice) and the shame of my behaviour

Originally posted by rtapper
Hmmm, sounds like a scene for Shrek 3 :P

Or perhaps Gone With the wind!

or Whistle Down The Wind

Whats your most embarrassing moment.

One of mine is when I slipped down the steps on a bus and landed on my backside at the bus exit.
Very embarrassing..

Aother is when I can't get my foot out of the pedal on my bike due to having clip ons, and therefore hit the deck.:blush: :blush:

Try this link.

wwwembarrassing.us/index.htm

had one on fri night when i saw my mates boyfriend and went over and chatted with him for a couple of mins before i realised it wasn't him at all and he had no idea who i was - he just thought i was chatting him up!!!

worked though !!!! :hihi:

Originally posted by Cycleracer
Whats your most embarrassing moment.

One of mine is when I slipped down the steps on a bus and landed on my backside at the bus exit.
Very embarrassing..

Aother is when I can't get my foot out of the pedal on my bike due to having clip ons, and therefore hit the deck.:blush: :blush:

Try this link.

wwwembarrassing.us/index.htm

Ha...I've done something very similar in the grounds of Chatsworth...having confidently done a 30 mile off road loop with my new clipless pedals, I bombed it down the grass banks towards the main road through Chatsworth...got to the end, very pleased with myself but forgot I was clipped in and just toppled over while a big line fo cars drove past very slowly all looking and laughing. :hihi:

I fell of the back of a treadmill at the gym once, it realy hurt and I had to limp away.
Thats probably not the most embarrassing thing I've done but it does spring to mind first.

I got very drunk instead of being in college one afternoon and sobered up very quickly realising that I wasn't actually in the privacy of my house getting fresh with my boyfriend

That was the last time I drunk to that excess

Moon

I went a*** over t** on the stage at the school christmans concert.

I was stepping down off a platform with my tuba. I put my foot on the edge of the platform and went flying - me one way, tuba the other and it made an absolutely fearful crash!!

There was just an eerie silence in the audience. I think it would have been better if they'd laughed. I guess they may have been worried I hurt myself - it was only injured pride though!

I was playing my solo in a packed concert hall, with Princess Anne in attendance and the bridge of my cello collapsed. Strings and tears everywhere.

I was only 12 :( I was utterly devastated! Thankfully the conductor brought the rest of the orchestra back in pretty quickly so the silence wasn't too agonisingly long!

Years ago..

Was guarding a fire exit sat on one of those tall stools. I leant back a bit to see round a corner.. And out of the Fire Exit I crashed.. Both doors flew open, the stool promptly followed me :blush:

Age 14, cycling downhill after crossing a bridge.. spotting a nice looking lass sitting in the passenger seat of a car and trying to impress her by cycling REALLY fast down the down slope and past the junction they were waiting at...

*cue: low tire pressure conspiring with an eratic left/right wobble as hammering the pedals pushes the bike out from under me, to the left... momentary "oh sh**" look and "graceful" collision with recently re-gravelled roadway*...

I was bleeding quite nicely from various scapes when the car, with nice looking lass, pulled up next to me and her mum asked me if I was ok... I could have coped with anything, but the lass was wetting herself laughing... Foooooool!

Hormones!!!... nothing but trouble!! :gag: :loopy: :D

Originally posted by Martin_s
Age 14, cycling downhill after crossing a bridge.. spotting a nice looking lass sitting in the passenger seat of a car and trying to impress her by cycling REALLY fast down the down slope and past the junction they were waiting at...

*cue: low tire pressure conspiring with an eratic left/right wobble as hammering the pedals pushes the bike out from under me, to the left... momentary "oh sh**" look and "graceful" collision with recently re-gravelled roadway*...

I was bleeding quite nicely from various scapes when the car, with nice looking lass, pulled up next to me and her mum asked me if I was ok... I could have coped with anything, but the lass was wetting herself laughing... Foooooool!

Hormones!!!... nothing but trouble!! :gag: :loopy: :D


a similar thing happened to me once lol!

I was once cossing the rd at Gleadless church where there were road works. It was snowing and I had my umbrella up. I stepped on a metal plate used to cover a hole up, one side gave way and I slowly slid into the hole which was quite deep but narrow. My umbrella was still up as my arms were jammed tight by my side, but the umbrella was at ground level and only my head was showing.
I always remain polite so was only shouting Hello, Hello.
The workmen were looking around at face level so at first didn't see me and my umbrella.
It was like a comedy scene, Two men came and one at each side lifted me out wih umbrella still up. They were very apologetic asked me to go to their hut.
i declined.
Hazel

if your under 18 leave now !!!!!!!!!!!! caught having a bj in lifts.( well you wouldnt think people would be using them at 1 am ).2..
on a slope at the side of the old fellbrig pub..shall i say at the point of extraction i pulled,she pushed and i ended up down the hill ,pants round ankles just as the bus pulled in.......3 ,stradbroke park,police dog licking my naked bum while doing what teenagers do......4..having to much to drink,invited to stay at girl friends house,waking up dissorientated bursting for a pee,cant find pants,pee out of window...straight into girlfriends mums face,who is hanging washing out.......5. bursting for a shxt on millstone edge,foggy sunday morning,squated down,the bloody fog lifted all at once and a whole family came walking bye,mum dad,several kids,granny and the family dog..........6...this ones not mine.called to a customers house a while back,rang the door bell,she came to the door and said " could you call later as im not dressed yet"
i said " yes i know,your behind a glass door " she was stark naked........

Originally posted by depoix
stradbroke park,police dog licking my naked bum while doing what teenagers do......
ROFLMAO... :D

That must have been something else to be observing it from the police dog handlers side of things... wonder if he trained the dog to do that :gag: :D

Originally posted by Martin_s
ROFLMAO... :D

That must have been something else to be observing it from the police dog handlers side of things... wonder if he trained the dog to do that :gag: :D dont know but i got a right ticking off from the dog handler

Originally posted by depoix
if your under 18 leave now !!!!!!!!!!!! caught having a bj in lifts.( well you wouldnt think people would be using them at 1 am ).2..
on a slope at the side of the old fellbrig pub..shall i say at the point of extraction i pulled,she pushed and i ended up down the hill ,pants round ankles just as the bus pulled in.......3 ,stradbroke park,police dog licking my naked bum while doing what teenagers do......4..having to much to drink,invited to stay at girl friends house,waking up dissorientated bursting for a pee,cant find pants,pee out of window...straight into girlfriends mums face,who is hanging washing out.......5. bursting for a shxt on millstone edge,foggy sunday morning,squated down,the bloody fog lifted all at once and a whole family came walking bye,mum dad,several kids,granny and the family dog..........6...this ones not mine.called to a customers house a while back,rang the door bell,she came to the door and said " could you call later as im not dressed yet"
i said " yes i know,your behind a glass door " she was stark naked........

lol you sound like you've had an interesting life :P

Threads merged.

Must have been about 14. I was asked to put the Kettle on at a friends house, having not been able to find it I asked what it looked like. Someone shouted back it was Green, not being quite sure about it I shouted back to double check. Confirmed it was green I went on to place it on the hob. I came back 4 minutes later to find a very leeky Tea Pot on the stove.
It was in fact silver they were just too busy playing Mario Kart than tell me what it really looked like. And yes, we were floating a little bit.

Originally posted by ianmitchell
lol you sound like you've had an interesting life :P oh yes,but most of it happened in the sixties and seventies,we had a party once for two students who had passed their exams,ian the accountant made me promise he would get thesaturday train to Reading,this was on friday night so we partied all night and most of the next day,it dawned on me in the late afternoon that i had to get him on that train,some how through the stupour we got to the station and on the train,the next thing i remember was waking up in Newcastle station with no money,cant remember leaving Sheffield,hitch hiked back,got back to the house hours later,no one had even missed me,the living room cieling had come down where some drunk girl decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from the electric light,she had jumped off the chair and pulled the whole cieling after her.....

Originally posted by Lestat
Heres mine:

I'd just been to the girlfriends house and had a very large meal with her parents. Trying to impress them by talking about all sorts of different things. The meal was very filling and I could soon feel the gases brewing in my stomach waiting to be let out so I kindly left the table pretending to want some fresh air.

She told me she'd join me in a sec and so I casually walked to the end of the drive towards my car, there was a small wall that curved around the end of the drive so I was out of view. As soon as i got around it I let it rip! and it wasn't a shorty either it went on like an orchestra for at least a good 30 seconds.

Feeling much better, I walked back around to find her parents in stitches and her red faced!! they had all followed me down there for FRESH AIR! :o
Hope this one is a TRUE lestat experience.....;)

unfortunately, it is! I have the people I gassed still around to tell the tale!

I think this was more my husbands embarrassing moment than mine. I took him to meet my best friend and her husband for the first time. It was a chilly winters day so hubby had on a track suit.
The boys decided to do a few alterations in the kitchen and it was suggested that hubby stand up on the kitchen bench so that he could reach better. My friend's husband suddenly pulled on the bottom of hubbys track pants which fell down to his feet.
We all then learned that hubby was not wearing any undies and there he stood for all to see, not the slightest bit concerned. My friends face was an absolute picture and her husband, whos mouth was on the floor, nearly died laughing. Hubby disappeared into the bedroom and emerged moments later with his pants pulled up to his chest with a huge leather belt wrapped around himself. We all howled with laughter and certainly broke the ice.

Originally posted by Martin_s
ROFLMAO... :D

That must have been something else to be observing it from the police dog handlers side of things... wonder if he trained the dog to do that :gag: :D might have been the original sniffer dog...seriosly though we thought he was going to report us to her dad,long time ago,..... you may not remember the song but my mates played " shot gun wedding " every time we went into a pub or cafe......

Originally posted by depoix
3 ,stradbroke park,police dog licking my naked bum while doing what teenagers do......

ha ha ha!:D as long as he didn't lift his leg after and pee on you! thats hilarious depoix!

Splitting my trousers when on duty as a police officer, revealing red silk knickers underneath, good job it wassn't my thong i was wearing.

good ob i had a coat to put on until i could go home and get changed. my fce was as red as my kecks

On my way to work In a morning I like to have a siggy before I get on the bus (disgusting habit I know:gag: ) one morning when the bus came I was only half way down my siggy so I flipped it.
The end must have ended up in my handbag and I got on the bus sat down and my bag was on fire:hihi:.
Then there was the time at work when I was hevily pregnant I had nipped to the rather small loo and managed to get the bog roll tucked down the back of my maternity trousers, walked half way round the office before I noticed:blush:

:blush: I'm mad about animals which sometimes gets on my husbands nerves. I always have to read what animals are for sale in our local shop windows (we live in Idaho in the country) yesterday I asked him what animals were advertised in our local feed store, he said "nothing" he was stood right next to me as I said "I don't trust you, look, chicks, pheasants, turkeys, and...." I turned round to face him and said "GUINEA FOWL!" right into a complete strangers face. My husband had sneaked off and was sitting in the car, The complete stranger, after he had got his composure back said "huh, huh" and almost ran away!

My sister embarrassed herself on a recent visit to see me. We were in a local bar and the land lady being a friendly Idahoan came over to talk to us Brits. She told us her shih-tzu dogs had just had puppies. she told my sister "they are beautiful and they don't shed" my sister said "what ever, they NEVER *****?!" :rolleyes:

Originally posted by tulip
:blush: I'm mad about animals which sometimes gets on my husbands nerves. I always have to read what animals are for sale in our local shop windows (we live in Idaho in the country) yesterday I asked him what animals were advertised in our local feed store, he said "nothing" he was stood right next to me as I said "I don't trust you, look, chicks, pheasants, turkeys, and...." I turned round to face him and said "GUINEA FOWL!" right into a complete strangers face. My husband had sneaked off and was sitting in the car, The complete stranger, after he had got his composure back said "huh, huh" and almost ran away!

My sister embarrassed herself on a recent visit to see me. We were in a local bar and the land lady being a friendly Idahoan came over to talk to us Brits. She told us her shih-tzu dogs had just had puppies. she told my sister "they are beautiful and they don't shed" my sister said "what ever, they NEVER *****?!" :rolleyes:


Didn't quite get the rest of that Tulip!

Hmmmm . . . . nice story Tulip, but is it just me or does anyone else comprehend?:confused:

I'm guessing that she meant "s_h_i_t".

Originally posted by cgksheff
I'm guessing that she meant "s_h_i_t".

yeah but there is 5 asterixes not 4 ?????????????? :confused:

Threads merged.

I can't help how they censor things. I put S***'s they changed it. 'Shed' as in loses hair, 's***s' as in goes to toilet, it was FUNNY AT THE TIME:D

Falling down the steps at club wow pished out of my face, on my first ever visit to the wow- which is bad enough- but then to be picked up by bouncers and to then pat them on the back and give them a hug to say thanks and loudly proclaiming that I was ok like some kind of idiot VIP.

Only to make matters worse- my so-called friends took me outside to catch a cab home, only for me to make a tit of myself again for shouting 'goodbye everyone- have a safe journey home' getting in the cab, passing out and then tipping the taxi driver £15 when I came round 20 mins later...

My friends let me do this... thats aftershock + a few JD's and coke for you.

Never again.

ALSO on a family visit to a waterpark in Majorca.
We went on the big rubberdinghy tube ride thingy, you have to climb up a hill to reach the starting point up the hillside, so off we trot. We reached the top of the hill, and there sat the ring in a splash pool.

You have to climb some stairs- go across a platform and then jump into the raft, of course, not being the nimblest of blokes with a 16st frame on me.. I slipped on the platform and fell headfirst into the splashpool only to be grabbed by the nearest attendant, who stopped me going down the tube headfirst, cue the laughs and clapping from the queue behind us.

I didnt laugh, I could have cried.
Bless.

My most clean embarrassing tale relates to about 10 years ago when a works outing to visit a customer down south went horribly wrong. We went out drinking about the town and then went back to our customers house where the drinking continued (neat scotch!!) I was absolutely mortal drunk and sloped off to the loo only to come to half an hour later sat on the bog, pants round my ankles, one foot in the cats litter tray, my head in a vomit stained sink and two grinning colleagues standing in the doorway with a camera.

If this wasn't bad enough we had to go paintballing the next day, I managed to get suited up, did about 5 mins on the first game nearly puked in my mask and spent the rest of the day sleeping it off on a picnic bench only to resume vomiting when they fired up the BBQ.

On our return the photo made its way round the office........ and then our offices in Vancouver, Toronto, California, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Rotterdam, Germany and Taipei.

I only found out recently that about 3 years ago when my little boy was a baby I had gone out with my partner for a few drinks at our local leaving my eldest daughter and older neice to babysit.

The baby was in a moses basket in our room so I put the monitor in my daughters room.

Well, after a few vodkas I was feeling a bit randy!!! After a nice bit of nooky I realised we had left the monitor on!!!

I rushed into my daughters room to find her asleep - or so I thought, she mentioned to me a few months ago that yes - she had heard us I was very embarrassed, there can't be anything worse than hearing your Mum at it! I hope my daughter isn't too traumatised, thankfully we can laugh about it! :heyhey:

i went to visit my sisters house quite a few years ago, walked up the path and wnet in through the front door. a man came out of the living room who i didnt recognise and i realised i had gone into the next door neighbours house

my younger sister was with me at the time and didnt alert me to what i was doing!!!!!!!!!

Another one (again booze related) was when I was living at home and had gone to bed after consuming far too much beer and going out for a curry afterwards. I managed to negotiate the front door, stairs and finally make it to my bed when the world started spinning and all the food and ale consumed that night wanted to leave my body. Drunkenly thinking on my feet I realised that I'd not make the bathroom and hueyed out of the open window next to my bed, all was well and I went back to sleep.

The next morning I was woken by my furious mother who was ranting and raving at me. The long and short of it was that my projectile vomiting had struck her ornamental birdbath with such precision it left a pool of curry/stella where the water should have been and the figure of Pan who adorned it was coated from horn to hoof in spew.

The icing on the cake was that she'd put the dog out in the garden to have a wee and had come out to find him lapping up the remains of a chicken madras from Pans head.

Honest to God, this is a true story:

I used to work in a music shop. One day a man came in to buy a trumpet. I thought this was quite odd, as he only had 1 arm, but I had to be polite, and we went into a room to try one.
I asked him if he played and he replied,"Yes, I've played in a band for 20 yrs". I thought WOW! With 1 arm?!
He started trying to blow it, he tried and tried to the point where he went plum in the face! "I'll take it" he said.
Very pleased we went to the sales counter.
Then, the smell hit me, and my colleagues, as we all started to look under our feet for doggy doo!
I started to strap two bags onto each side of the box, to make a handle for the man so it was easier to carry with his 1 arm. He said to me, "I'm sorry love, I had an accident"
Poor man, wonder what happened? "it's no problem sir, I make handles all the time" I repied.
The man paid and off he went with his trumpet.
All was good until my colleague told me that when he said,"sorry, i had an accident," he meant in his pants from blowing the trumpet too hard, not with his arm!!!!

Please make me feel better by telling me yours!
:thumbsup:

:clap: brill...did u tell him he could get one for free by collecting pot noodles...or is that a HORN:D

Can ya eat pot noodles with one arm? I would have done if I'd known, but it would have sacrified my sale, tricky one!:confused:

Threads merged.

I have a couple which stand out as my best :) I drove to Scotland for the funeral of a friend, arrived early morning, met his family and friends before going to the service. After the service I stood outside talking when I was approached by his brother who leaned forward and "offered" his hand which I shook and offered my condolences, he leaned a little further and whispered "yer flies are doon and yer shirts stickin oot"

The other was following a particularly boozy do on a holiday in Mexico. We (4 of us) arrived back at the hotel in the early hours. The taxi door opened and I fell out .... not finished. I managed the short walk to the kerb and fell up it .... not finished yet. Got to the bottom of the steps leading up to the grand entrance of the hotel and managed to fall up every one of them and hit the deck in reception .... still not finished. I managed to get to my feet and pirouetted across the floor ... you guessed it ... still not finished. Next thing I knew my friends were trying to help me up out of the flower bed I had landed in leaving a body print in the poinsettas. If I'd gone to the left instead of the right they would have been draggin me out of the ornamental pond full of snapping turtles.

A friend of a friend used to go out with the daughter of Bertie Ahern, the Irish PM. He accompanied her to a family wedding. Having had a great time, as far as he could recall, he was a little taken aback that people were slightly cool towards him at breakfast the next day. Indeed his girlfriend was rather stand-offish, now that he thought about it. He asked her what was the matter on the drive home. "You don't remember last night then?" she said through a set jaw. "Well," he replied, "I remember the speeches and the cake and the meal and some dancing and... stuff..." As he trailed off she opened her lovely mouth. "So you don't remember the karaoke?" "Jeez, no," he replied. "Was there karaoke? I didn't do a song did I? I've got the voice of a crow."

"Oh yes," she declared. "You did a song. In fact you grabbed the mike and tried to get us all to join in. You were stood up there yelling at my father, quite a few English politicians and virtually the entire Irish cabinet, demanding that they join you in a rendition of 'sit on my face and tell me you love me'."

An evening is a long time in politics.

Then there was my mate Phil, who went on a three-day tour of some remote bit of Africa. On the tour were a set of Germans and Dutch, but despite this they were a friendly bunch. They all checked into a hotel. Phil got into his room and was delighted to find it had a proper en-suite bathroom. With a loo. He was less ecstatic to find that occupying the throne was a huge turd, which curled round the bowl and rose like a sea monster from the water. "It was incredible," he reported later, "almost like a sculpture. It was a different colour at the tip, too." Being a man rather fascinated by such matters he rushed out and gathered his fellow travellers. He shepherded them into his room so they too could admire the cobra-like cable.

The party was strangely silent for much of the next day until finally, after dinner, a huge German lady glided up to Phil like an ocean liner. "Phil," she intoned in a rich, operatic voice that filled the entire restaurant, "ve vere all vondering. Vy did you show us your big poo?"

One embarrassing moment i can remember is going to the pub with my mates to watch a band, when they stopped for a break i decided it was a good time to nip to the loo as i had about 4 pints floating round in my bladder. Anyway on the way back, i saw my mates cracking up and when i sat down i asked them what was up, none of them could speak for laughing and were just pointing at me till one of them sadi 'your trousers' i looked down and couldn't see anything, i looked at the back of my trousers only to see a trail of toilet roll right from the back of my trousers to the floor!

I hate to think of how many people saw me.

Though something quite embarrassing happened to my mate who sits opposite me at work on Friday last week. A woman who she used to work with came into the office to have a chat to her about something. (she still works here just in another department) anyway when she came in, my mate said " oh i didn't know you were pregnant" the other woman said "i'm not". Jeez i didn't know where to look and for the next half an hour i had to endure them both saying "god i'm really sorry" and "oh it doesn't matter, i don't mind really" over and over again.

Originally posted by dawny1
I only found out recently that about 3 years ago when my little boy was a baby I had gone out with my partner for a few drinks at our local leaving my eldest daughter and older neice to babysit.

The baby was in a moses basket in our room so I put the monitor in my daughters room.

Well, after a few vodkas I was feeling a bit randy!!! After a nice bit of nooky I realised we had left the monitor on!!!

I rushed into my daughters room to find her asleep - or so I thought, she mentioned to me a few months ago that yes - she had heard us I was very embarrassed, there can't be anything worse than hearing your Mum at it! I hope my daughter isn't too traumatised, thankfully we can laugh about it! :heyhey:

Thanks for that Dawny1 now i know aswell as your daughter. Scarred for life i am now!

One of my embarrasing moments was when i was about 11 and went to work with my mum for the day at the primary school that she worked at. I was talking to one of my mums workmates who was luckily also a friend of my mums when i noticed a dark black curly hair on her white blouse right on her breast, only being young and not thinking before i acted i said "oh you have got a hair on your top" and went to pull it. The poor woman screamed it was attached :o
A nipple hair ! We both could have died with embarrasment

Originally posted by trophyman
i went to visit my sisters house quite a few years ago, walked up the path and wnet in through the front door. a man came out of the living room who i didnt recognise and i realised i had gone into the next door neighbours house

my younger sister was with me at the time and didnt alert me to what i was doing!!!!!!!!!

A photographer friend who should remain nameless but who we shall call Michael, once turned up to a bloke's house to photograph his car for Redline magazine. Michael is a man who tends to act before he thinks, and as the door swung open before him he launched straight in with: "hi, I'm Michael the photographer. Have you got a loo? I'm busting for a cack." The girl who had let him in looked a smidge dumfounded, but pointed silently up the stairs. Mike charged off. After polluting the environment for five minutes he returned, refreshed. "Right," he declared, "I'd love a cup of tea. Where's the car?"

The student occupants of the house, all six of whom were now assembled as a welcome party, didn't own anything more mechanical than a bicycle between them. Their neighbour, on the other hand, had a very tasty modified VW Golf. Stupidly, Michael told the journalist he was working with that day. The car magazine business is a very small and close-knit world.

3 stories to tell you about.

1 When I was 16 on holiday with parents and I found this thing called Tequila which was nice. Being the flirt I am, I noticed this pretty young girl across the room who didn't seem too happy. I went across and the Tequila said to her, "What's wrong with you - you look like your mum's just died..." Well guess what? Her big brother filled me in on the details.

2 Whilst at school the group of "cool" kids who smoked before school, every break and after school, used to smoke round the corner from the main entrance. One ice cold morning, I was cycling in to school very quickly when I tried to take the corner where the cool kids were smoking and hit the only patch of ice on the road. I skidded along the floor for about 10-15 metres to a roar of laughter littered with coughing and spluttering.

3 This one's about the mother-in-law to be (maybe). She was at a party darn sarf in a big posh house and was mingling away - she does that very well, proper mingler she is - and she got chatting with this chubby gentleman. When all the cogs had finished turning, she looked back at this gentleman and stated, "You look like a fat version of Boy George!" To which he replied, "I AM Boy George!" and then ran off screaming like the fat talentless girl that he is.

last weekend, went out drinkin with my dads gf's daughters and their m8, i came home and her mum had locked the door, so i knocked on the door for ages, and i really really needed the loo, so i ...... erm........i.......wee weed on her doorstep!!!!!!!! OMG hooooooooow embarrasin? lmao

yes...how er ummm Ladylike.... :gag:

Originally posted by MissGobby
last weekend, went out drinkin with my dads gf's daughters and their m8, i came home and her mum had locked the door, so i knocked on the door for ages, and i really really needed the loo, so i ...... erm........i.......wee weed on her doorstep!!!!!!!! OMG hooooooooow embarrasin? lmao

Originally posted by ccellis
3 This one's about the mother-in-law to be (maybe). She was at a party darn sarf in a big posh house and was mingling away - she does that very well, proper mingler she is - and she got chatting with this chubby gentleman. When all the cogs had finished turning, she looked back at this gentleman and stated, "You look like a fat version of Boy George!" To which he replied, "I AM Boy George!" and then ran off screaming like the fat talentless girl that he is.

Total and utter class. You need to make her your actual mother-in-law as soon as possible! Next time she sees George she could try my own mother's theory on him about gayness and the preponderance thereof. "There are so many gays around nowadays it's really boring," she once declared. "I blame the pill." Which obviously had us slower thinkers a tad stumped, so she explained. "Well all the women from the 1960s were on the pill," she said. "So they were weeing the hormones into the water systems. We all drink water and now everybody's gay. Simple."

Bless 'er. I can't help wondering if British reservoirs are brimful with schools of fish which are all really good with colours.

Okay everyone its the most miserable day of the year so far as weather is concerned so lets chear ourselves up....

What is the most embarasing/funniest thing that has ever happened to you.....

Mine was...

I was about eight year old ( and scared for life I must add) and I was playing with great dane dog and had its soft toy in one of my hands. I looked away for a couple of minutes to talk to someone and felt a warm patch down the front of my dress.... yip, you guessed it the dog had wee'd on me to all my family and friends amusment.

.......... so can anyone top this?

Hi Bertie
We have this thread in Gen Chit Chat with some very funny incidents.. Think it's titled Most Embarrassing Moments

hazel

In response to ccelis's "Mums just died" comment. Some years back I was working in door to door sales. Walking down the drive I saw this young lad with his hair shaved so there was only hair on top (this was a trend, but this shave seemed a little higher than most), I calls out "Hey, thats a right hair cut init", his reply was "Yeah, and I got it for nowt". His Mother then explained that he had had a brain tumor removed and they had shaved it all round to match it up...

And for Dawny1's Baby Monitor: Mate, his gf and their baby daughter where living at her parents (practically in the one bedroom). Her Father is known to be a **bit** tight with the pennies. One very cold day they where in the bedroom and he was having a bit of a rant to his girlfriend saying things like "get down stairs and tell the tight a**e father of yours to get the bl**dy fire on. Its freezing and we've got a baby here" with a few extra rants and curses thrown in for good measure. They waited a few minutes whilst he calmed down then decided they would both go down and explain to her father that it was too cold for the baby. The walked into the living room to find her father making the coal fire up. Her mother explained by nodding towards the baby monitor that was about 2 foot away from her dads chair..... :D

when my husband and i bought our first house, my mum and my in laws were helping us decorate. My mum was stripping some wallpaper off and remarked "how could anyone have such disgusting paper on their walls, they must have a sense of humour". Unbeknown to my mother, my in-laws happened to have the same wallpaper in their house!

During a prolonged period of rain, my mother was talking to a couple from up the road and said that if it carries on much longer, we'll all need webbed feet. After an embarrassed silence it transpired that the woman concerned was one of the small percentage of the population who are born with webbing between their toes...

Dare you tell your most embarrasing moment on here.

Here goes mine.
When I was 16 years old, still at school, no money.
My friend & I use to go to town & pretend we were older having a good time in the pubs.
We just walked through town.
One evening a group of sexy lads stopped us as they passed us & said "excuse me love, have you just dropped that tenner"?
Looking behind us we saw a nice crisp tenner (this was 1983, a lot of money then).
My friend & I nudged each other, encouraged each other to say something.
So trying to be all sophisticated I said while pretending to check my purse"Oh yes , I have, thankyou".
I then reached down to pick the tenner up & guess what?
The tenner flew up into the air & into the hands of one of the sexy lads.
It was a trick, it was attached to a piece of fishing wire.
I wanted to die, I couldn't escape quick enough.
If it was you who did this to me, it was good, wish I could think of something original like that but I will never look back again.


:clap:

Mod Note: Threads merged

Sunday's forum meet. :blush: :loopy: :suspect: :shakes: :nono:

Originally posted by dynamicdebz
One evening a group of sexy lads stopped us as they passed us & said "excuse me love, have you just dropped that tenner"?
I said "Oh yes , I have, thankyou".

Why would you want to hit an Opera singer? :confused:

im wetting myself here reading sum of these posts lol. sooooooo funny lol

Some years ago my girlfriend and I went to stay with a female friend that had recently met and married a wine lecturer and mate of Gordon "w**ker" Ramsey. She is a chef and we were served a beautiful meal with embarrasingly expensive very tasty wines appropriate for the different courses. But it all seemed rather pretentious and I was getting wound up by him. Near the end of the meal I, probably drunkenly, suggested I nip out the nearby wine merchant and buy a lovely bottle of somthing to complete the meal.

I was looking round the wines in the shop when a fellow customer says to me take a look at this stuff, it's really an amazing wine, he says he buys loads for the family and everyone loves it and it's an absolute steal. Sure enough in the bargin bin was this French wine with a fancy fine-wine label and it was a few years old (oooh vintage). I'm thinking I'd like to see their faces when this perfectly lovely wine turns out to be only £1.99. So I buy it, they even wrap it for me.

So I got it back to the table, open it, and guess what it's undrinkably awful, full of crystalised structures as big as twigs in the bottom of the bottle that stick in the mouth of the bottle as I pour it. I admit that I only spent £1.99 on it and they begin regard me as an utterly ungrateful miserly guest who's borderline insane. I havn't seen them since.

I was telling a colleague at work about this thread, so she just had to tell me her own embarrassing moment.
In the early 70's as a teenager she use to go to a youth club disco where they had ultra violet lighting. She'd asked her mum to make a lovely white dress, so she'd look bright & noticable in the lights.
However the dress didn't shine at all, but not to worry she was dancing with the boy of her dreams.
All of a sudden she felt something fall from her waist & looked down to see her pure white knickers shining round her ankles, the elastic had broken (apparently back then knickers just had a piece of elastic threaded through them).
The boy she was dancing with didn't notice, so she quickly flicked them behind her with her feet.
Seconds later, she felt a tap on her shoulder, turning round was another boy holding up her bright white knickers in all there glory, saying at the top of his voice "I believe you've lost something"!

my embarassing moment is when i was at a bike show at hillsborough and the pub was full of bikers.... i went to the toilet (too many jack daniels!) and my skirt was tucked into my hot pants!!....i got cheers and the lot....

Mine was one xmas when i was about 18 at the bar i worked at we had to dress up as little miss clauses. Me and another girl were really flat chested compared to the other girls that worked there so we went out and bought chicken fillets so our little miss claus outfit looked a bit sexier. All went well at work, then we had a party at someones house after. I got wasted on a mixture of alcohol and went to the toilet to be sick. I was throwing up when everyone crowded round to see if i was ok and the toilet seat fell down and knocked me unconsious! Not only that but when i did come round i got put to bed in the spare room and when i woke up the next morning this guy i liked for ages was laid next to me and he had cuddled me all night. Feeling embarrassed about the toilet seat knocking me out and not looking too smashing i just wanted to go home and curl up and die but the doors were all locked. So not wanting to wake anyone up for the key i snuck out the window...and not very gracefully i might add. I felt like a right idiot dressed as a miss clause (in a rush to get out i had left my jacket hung in the cupboard so i was freezing) and really hungover with a giant bump on my head and when i got to the bus stop i realised i was a chicken fillet short! I didnt want the guy that i liked to find it so i went back to the house, climbed back through the window and had to feel around the bed for it but he was laid on it so i had to do the whole hug and roll! Grabbing my fake boob i went to get my jacket so i could put the damn things in my pocket and to not be so cold. My jacket seemed really wet but i figured someone must have spilt a drink on it or something so i slipped it on and climbed out the window again and went home. The next night at work everyone was talking about the night before and one of the lads confessed to being so drunk he went to what he thought was the toilet, but was actually the coat cupboard and accidently peed on someones jacket! So thats my most embarissing moment. :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

I was on my first date with my partner.

went to ALL BAR ONE and as I invited him to the meal I was paying for the meal.

I didnt take my wallet, but did take my credit card.

after a nice meal I went up to the bar and passed the barman the card (my date was with me)

the barman shook his head and pushed the card back to me.

he laughed and said

" we dont take sainsbury's saver cards sir"

my embarassing moment is when i was at a bike show at hillsborough and the pub was full of bikers.... i went to the toilet (too many jack daniels!) and my skirt was tucked into my hot pants!!....i got cheers and the lot....
If that was at the show at "the park" pub - I was there :hihi:

When I fell over in MacDonalds & rocked myself to sleep trying to get up.

I've got two stories:

1) I was on my way to the Homelands dance festival, I think it was 2000 or 2001. I'd got the train down from Sheffield and I had just got off at Winchester station. There were plenty of clubbers there.

I then realised that I needed the toilet, so I looked along the platform for one. I couldn't see any, but I noticed a queue of people and assumed that was it. The queue contained both sexes, so I assumed it was just a single unisex toilet (Winchester is only a small two-platform station). I joined the back of the queue, close to a uniformed policeman who was standing near the back of the line. I waited there for about 30 seconds, then he looked at me and said "Have you come to give yourself up mate?". I then realised that this was the queue for a small room where the police processed people who'd been caught with drugs on them! Without thinking, I said out loud "But I thought this was the queue for the toilets". The whole queue of clubbers and many others nearby all burst out laughing.

2) I was playing football with two mates in a local field, and I was in goal. Behind the net was an embankment with lots of high grass, weeds, stinging nettles etc. After a wayward shot from one of my friends, I trudged up the embankment to retrieve the ball. In a split second, the ground disappeared and I was in a hole. Concealed on the embankment were some kind of drainage shafts wide enough for someone to fit in. I'd stepped on without realising, and fell straight down the hole. Perhaps instinctively I'd put my elbows outwards so that they were resting on the shaft edges and stopping me falling further.

My two friends were helpless with laughter. After being offered no help at all, I pulled myself out of the hole. As soon as I put my foot on the ground, I was back in a hole again though! There were two holes right next to each other, and I'd stepped in the second one. Because both were covered by very long grass there was no way at all of seeing them. In retrospect it was actually quite dangerous, because this was a public recreation ground where kids could play.

I'd just had root canal surgery at the local dentist. Half an hour of sheer tugging, pulling etc. Finally, it was over. Feeling rather numb along with a face that felt 14 times bigger than actual, I was away on my toes to the tram stop.

After getting on the tram, still somewhat worse for wear, I picked up on of those Metro's for my perusal. Sat opposite/facing me was a young (mid twenties) lady with legs that went right to the top. Staring over my metro in disbelief that seemed like a split second, but actually or probably years. Then I looked up, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was highly disappointed in me. I casually looked back to my paper.......Then there it was, at the bottom of the page......I'd only dribbled from my numb side, and was still dribbling. Well, that was it, I had to look up and say.....Thuth been to the denith.

If you are reading this and you are that youg lady who bolted it off the tram that fine morning, please accept my sincere apology.


If anyone want's to share the dance floor with me, please go ahead.:help:

Fair enough, but what's your excuse for dribbling over young ladies' legs when you haven't been to the dentists?

I think mine was when I was in a pub with friends the day before I flew out to ibiza.

Was sat chatting and one of the girls went to the loo (both were upstairs)
I went shortly after - on my way out I bumped into the girl.

For no apparent reason she lunged at me and it was tongue down throat time :thumbsup:

Didnt realise that the pub cctv was on the big screens round the pub and EVERYONE had seen it :o


Done worse since, but not suitable for a "family" forum.

Mick3330,


And here's me thinking that your most embarrasing moment ever was when you were caught short on the tram on the way to work and had to dive off at Birley golf course to subsequently releive yourself , only for a woman walking her dog to come walking along the path to see you squatting in the bush's, trousers round ankles and packing up lunch box tucked under arm....

Mick3330,


And here's me thinking that your most embarrasing moment ever was when you were caught short on the tram on the way to work and had to dive off at Birley golf course to subsequently releive yourself , only for a woman walking her dog to come walking along the path to see you squatting in the bush's, trousers round ankles and packing up lunch box tucked under arm....

That was coming next sir. LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

Is that known as "logging in" :hihi:

Is that known as "logging in" :hihi:

He was bragging about it in the pub for months, the man has no shame !!!!!

I once soiled myself at work and had to go home, after throwing my underpants in a bin.

Was my dads 50th surprise birthday party couple month back and a longtime friend and his family came up. His son is my age so we got chatting when he first came until he asked me where the toilet was. I having had a couple of jars by this time, pointed it out by directing "Over there...by the side of that big fat munter" only for him to reply in disgust "What, my Aunty?" and he stormed off.

Luckily, he took it funny but did make me sweat for his reaction!

Not so much my em,barresing moment but it was embarressing for the person involved.

As a former nightclub doorman i have ssen many things that could make you blush and quite a few that could mmake you hurl. This story is one of the latter and I apologise in advance

Come closing time at a very famous Australian chain bar in Birmingham, I was clearing the toilets af the straggling customers. In the ladies after everyone departed I realised that one of the cubicles was locked. So I perched myself on the adjoining toilet to enable me to see over the partition. Upon looking into the cubicel I find the following. A young lady in her early twenties asleep on the loo. Knickers round her ankles, she has also been sick, however the vomit is nicly perched in her underwear. My colleague and i decided to wake her up without knocking the door down so as to avoid startling her. So we went and got a pint of water which was mpassed to me to tip over the cubicle wall. So I clamber back onto the toilet and proceed to tip the water over the poor girl. At which point she comes too.

"Sorry hun were closed" says I

"Ok no probs" says lady.

Then the unthinkable without checking she yanks the vomit filled undies up takes two steps out of the cubicle, realises what is going on bursts into tears and runs out the front door. My colleague and I are laughing so hard that I fall off the toilet that im standing on into him breaking his wrist.

hehehehehehehe

She came back the next week.

Not so much my em,barresing moment but it was embarressing for the person involved.

As a former nightclub doorman i have ssen many things that could make you blush and quite a few that could mmake you hurl. This story is one of the latter and I apologise in advance

Come closing time at a very famous Australian chain bar in Birmingham, I was clearing the toilets af the straggling customers. In the ladies after everyone departed I realised that one of the cubicles was locked. So I perched myself on the adjoining toilet to enable me to see over the partition. Upon looking into the cubicel I find the following. A young lady in her early twenties asleep on the loo. Knickers round her ankles, she has also been sick, however the vomit is nicly perched in her underwear. My colleague and i decided to wake her up without knocking the door down so as to avoid startling her. So we went and got a pint of water which was mpassed to me to tip over the cubicle wall. So I clamber back onto the toilet and proceed to tip the water over the poor girl. At which point she comes too.

"Sorry hun were closed" says I

"Ok no probs" says lady.

Then the unthinkable without checking she yanks the vomit filled undies up takes two steps out of the cubicle, realises what is going on bursts into tears and runs out the front door. My colleague and I are laughing so hard that I fall off the toilet that im standing on into him breaking his wrist.

hehehehehehehe

She came back the next week.


yuk yuk andd yuk!

think you win the prize for best story!

I couldnt believe she came back the next week like nothing had happened.

Yep, puts mine to shame. Mines playschool stuff.

i'd say mine was last friday. got back from the milburn gig absolutely wet thru to the skin and hammered! took my clothes off, put them in the washer, went to go upstairs and there's my gran and her mate, sat on settee, and there's me, starkers!!!

A dentist one for me too.
I was about 19 and I went for a crown. I had to have 3 injections to numb my huge gob and the little red headed receptionist was chatting nicely to me as I was waiting.
As I was having the crown fitted I plucked up courage to ask her out, and when the gob doctor had finished, I went to her desk to make another appointment and ask her on a date-which I was SURE Id get a yes.
She made me an appointment and I took the card off her and said "Erm. I was wondering if-"
She said "yes?"
I then belched, I mean BELCHED a full blast atomic window rattler right into her face!

I left quickly.

I was walking through the park with my dad when I was about 15 years old and I decided to be a smart arse and spit out my chewing gum and kick it, unfortunetly for me as I kicked out the skirt I had on didnt open so wide so I whipped out my other leg and landed on a heap on the floor much to the amusement of my dad.

I have a million embarrasing moments!

The most embarrasing has to be my mum walking in on me having sex :blush:

Second will be - thinking I was all clever at school and climbing up the hill instead of the steps to the building - in the snow!! And slipping halfway up and not being able to get up and just sliding down the snowy sludgy hill trying to grab onto grass. I was only year 8 and got the **** took outta be for ages, my trousers look like I'd pooed myself :hihi:

And only a few weeks back I dropped my purse in Tesco and it must have had a few quid in pennies and they went everywhere, and I didnt care about the money cos obviously they were pennies but had to pick everyone up with 2 rather sexy shop assistants helping me! Oh the shame!

:o Far too embarrassing to mention... on a Forum! :blush: :hihi:

Worked as a dj. Hosted a stag night had to try and talk face to face with a naked stripper to decide which stripper in order of apperance. The stripper was about 5ft, I am 5'10. Tried but couldn't talk:hihi: face to face.

I have a million embarrasing moments!

The most embarrasing has to be my mum walking in on me having sex :blush:

Second will be - thinking I was all clever at school and climbing up the hill instead of the steps to the building - in the snow!! And slipping halfway up and not being able to get up and just sliding down the snowy sludgy hill trying to grab onto grass. I was only year 8 and got the **** took outta be for ages, my trousers look like I'd pooed myself :hihi:

And only a few weeks back I dropped my purse in Tesco and it must have had a few quid in pennies and they went everywhere, and I didnt care about the money cos obviously they were pennies but had to pick everyone up with 2 rather sexy shop assistants helping me! Oh the shame!

I think i'd die i'f my mum walked in on me while i was having sex :o

I have a million embarrasing moments!

The most embarrasing has to be my mum walking in on me having sex :blush:



Top lass for admitting to that, Well done!

We all have embarassing moments...Remember ages ago my mate persuaded me out on a thursday in leadmill despite having severe flu, got dancing with a very pretty lady only for a big gob of snot to spurt out my nose...That night I cursed the size of that building!

Sunshine - Oh no! I bet that was abit awkward!

sufc_tom - thats disgusting! lol! :P

I can't think of one of mine atm, but theres plenty!

The most embarrasing has to be my mum walking in on me having sex :blush:

To be honest I dont know how anyone could even think of having sex whilst their parents are in the house - all a bit too close for me :gag: , mind u I have my own house :D

My little sister was visting from Edinburgh the weekend before her 18th birthday, me being the kind, caring big sister that i am i decided to make it one to remeber and what better way to kick off the weekend than by meeting her at Donny train station with a dozen brightly coloured 18th helium balloons. First i had the embarrassment of carrying them through meadowhall then the problem of getting them in the car, when they were all in safely we headed off to meet her at the station.

Arrived at Doncaster station 10 mins before her train was due to pull in, got a space and proceeded into the station found her platform and headed to it getting a couple of funny looks along the way.

I was stood with my balloons at the platform and 2 mins before the train came in along came the station master. I smiled at him as he walked up to me and he smiled backed and asked "what are you doing with your balloons?" i nearly fell over, what the hell did he think i was doing with them?! I explained the occasion then came his reply "i'm afraid i'm going to have to ask you to move, as your balloons are over 9 foot (which for the record they weren't) there is a chance that the over head power lines could blow you up when a train goes past". Trying not to wet myself laughing i kindly asked if i could stand really far back from the wall and hold them down, but no, "i'm going to have to ask you to stand in the central area between the platforms", (thus ruining the plan of my sis stepping off the train to a bunch of balloons and being mortified), realising he wasn't going to let it go, i said i'd go, but oh no, that wasn't enough, he escorted me and my balloons out of the way through a busy train station :blush: the tables were turned and i was left mortifed and believe you me, my sisters train couldn't come in quick enough :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: :blush: still wish i'd asked him how many people with balloons he'd seen being blown up....

Anyone care to share their embarrassing stories?

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Thats a cracker


:thumbsup: :D :thumbsup: :D

We're you left feeling a little deflated? :thumbsup:

We you left feeling a little deflated? :thumbsup:

:DNice one!

on my first date with my now partner, I tried to pay for our first meal together with the only bank card I took out with me!

the waiter laughed when I gave it to him

"we don't take sainsbury's saver cards sir"
he said!!!

ouch

on my first date with my now partner,


On my first date aged 17, with the girl who later turned out to be my wife, I took her to a fancy restaurant - and did my best to project an air of suave sophistication....

When my steak arrived, chatting animatedly, I grabbed the peppermill and turned it enthusiastically over my plate.

Unfortunately, I'm lefthanded, and obviously turned it the wrong way, cos it came all unscrewed and a shower of little cogs, springs, nuts, bolts and sundry parts, along with unground peppercorns, sprinkled in a cascade over my dinner.

I could feel myself going red.....

Mary collapsed with the giggles... but that sort of broke the ice...

All turned out well....

I was driving past the botanical gardens a couple of months back and saw my mate coming towards me in his van. We'd just been speaking on the phone and I thought it a coincidence that we were on the same road, going different ways.

As he approached we ended up coming to a stop in the usual spot by Ant marketting where the traffic struggles to get through. I shouted "Nobhead" at him to make him jump, pretending to be an angry driver. This is when the embarrasment happened, it wasn't his van and a person who I'd never seen before stuck his head out of the window and said "you what?" to which I quickly replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my mates". He didn't see the funny side though and replied "Do you have many mates called Nobhead" at which point the traffic had cleared and my foot hit the accelerator :D

It amused my mate just after the event when I called him again and found he wasn't even in Sheffield.

Looking back it's funny, but at the time it was seriously embarrasing.

I have far to many embarassing stories to choose, but the most recent was last saturday; being my first day shift at a new job.

First of all I have a bladder infection so turn up and have to expalin to the saturday manager who I've neverr met that I would really appreciate it if he could find some cover for me, as I needed to wee every ten minutes.

Whilst waiting for my cover to arrive I helpfully put the dirty tins through the wash machine before I put them out as they were on the wash rack. After they'd been through the wash I picked up the olive tin, only for ALL the olives to fall out the bottom, looking confused I ask my boss, ' I guess thats not emant to happen', he looked at me, shook his head asked 'you washed those didn't you' at exactly this moment it dawned on me how this had happened, the okives (and the pnieapple for that matter) were draining over the sink!

I think it'll be a while before I'm promoted.

Vicki

wow, that is embarrassing!!!

I was driving past the botanical gardens a couple of months back and saw my mate coming towards me in his van. We'd just been speaking on the phone and I thought it a coincidence that we were on the same road, going different ways.

As he approached we ended up coming to a stop in the usual spot by Ant marketting where the traffic struggles to get through. I shouted "Nobhead" at him to make him jump, pretending to be an angry driver. This is when the embarrasment happened, it wasn't his van and a person who I'd never seen before stuck his head out of the window and said "you what?" to which I quickly replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my mates". He didn't see the funny side though and replied "Do you have many mates called Nobhead" at which point the traffic had cleared and my foot hit the accelerator :D

It amused my mate just after the event when I called him again and found he wasn't even in Sheffield.

Looking back it's funny, but at the time it was seriously embarrasing.
Oh I have tear's rolling down my cheeks :D

Right i will fess mine up .. I was 15 n fancied my mums mates son who was a few years older than me .. my mum woke me too ask me if i wanted too tag on n go visit her friend so of course jumped at the chance too see her son .. I jumped outta bed n threw yesterdays clothes on .. when we arrived he was there and was sat on the floor side of my feet .. i was sat legs crossed n like shaking mi legs with nerves when he said .. erm whats that .. was only yesterdays knickers that had been stuck in my jeans n shook their way down !!! i never went out with him n i wonder why !!!

I have posted this embarresmant on a thread before but here goes.

When I was 16 years old & still at school (many moons ago) me & my school friend use to get dressed to the nines & hang about town making out that we were between pubs. Never going in them coz we were too young to have the money to buy half a lager & black.
Anyway this one day we were crossing over the road towards the complete angler (as it was known then) & were in the middle of the island when the most gorgeous blokes said to us " excuse me love have you dropped a fiver" looking behind us on the floor & towards these gorgeous fellas was a lovely crisp £5 note. More money than I'd ever had or my friend. Anyway we had a few seconds where we were nudging each other saying go on you say it. After pretending to look in my empty purse I eventually said in my most grown up voice " Yes thanks love" & I turned round & bent don to pick it up (after all it would've got us drunk in the town pubs for a week, ok slight exageration).
You never believed what happened next?
As soon as I bent down to pick it up the fiver went flying into the air & then landed into one of the fellas hands.
It was all a trick.
They had the fiver tied to a piece of fishing wire.
I could have died, I wanted the ground to swallow me up!
If you're out there, you who did this mean trick I am after you, you had such a profound effect on me.
But you knw what, wish I'd thought of it.

OK here goes...

I was 19 years old and in Amsterdam with a mate of mine for a weekend. I have to confess to you that we had been sampling the local horticultural products :hihi: as it is important to the story.

Walking through the Leidseplein on a saturday eveing in summer, the square was very busy with lots of people sat outside cafes and the like. There were streete entertainers all over the place, including one guy dressed as a jester who was selling flowers and being quite pushy with people and because of this he had quite an audience watching his antics. As my mate and me walked past, he approcahed me asking if I wanted to buy a flower. I said no and tried to walk on but he wouldn't take no for an answer. He was walking alongside me saying things like "Go on! You must have someone you want to buy a flower for". His little audience were cheering for him and trying to urge me to buy one as well but I kept trying to walk on. Finally, he grabbed a red rose from his bucket and pushed it towards me to try and get me to buy it. As he did this, my arm caught his and knocked the rose out of his hand and on to the ground. Then, completely accidentally, as I tried to walk on (my mate was long gone and was on the other side of the square - git!) I trod on the rose as it fell to the ground. The jester wasn't happy, but the worst bit about it was that the small crowd of people that had been geeing him on were now booing me because they thought I had done it deliberately.

I really could have died. The fact that I was "under the influence" really didn't help matters at all, and my mate didn't stop laughing for the rest of the night.

ok, maybe not so embarrassing for me as i was apparantly only just 3 at the time but i think it's a good story...

Shopping in Boots and my mum was pushing me in the buggy, she was having trouble navigating the aisles because i was wriggling and squirming about and obstructing the wheels, eventually, fed up, my mum asked what was wrong. In my loudest voice, in the middle of Boots i apparantly announced that.....
'My knickers are up the crack in my bum!'....

Everyone one of my mates who ever met my mum has heard this story...

I went to watch my mates football team and was enjoying the game when the ball was overhit and coming over the touchline. I saw this and as it come over I trapped the ball on my chest then as the player nearest was coming to take the throw in I just let it hit my knee then hit my instep and it went straight into his hands. I was feeling quite impressed with my bit of skill and then I took a couple of steps back and fell over the practice ball and physios bag. Cue laughter all around the pitch

The most embarrasing part of my story is probably where it happened but hey ho here goes.

I was in club WOW with a load of mates having a pretty good time but I was slightly worse for wear due to the amount of Turbo Diesel (Cider, Lager, Pernod and blackcurrent) I had consumed. I had a massive crush on a couple of girls who where in club WOW but I was struggling to find them, and being the 17 year old drunk virgin I was, I was on the PULL! I eventually saw the girls in question at the bottom of a flight of stairs near some Bandits and arcade machines they where in a group of about 15 to 20 girls and a couple of lads there was also a few other people around who I didnt know. Anyway to cut a long story short I pretended to sit on the Banister in the middle of the stairs and mimicked to slide forward, when one of the girls I liked saw me and decided to egg me on, then like a mexican wave everyone else who was at the bottom of the stairs started egging me on. The drunken devil inside me said go on its easy its only about 10 meters on a slight decline and you will be a hero amongst men. So off I went down the banister like a bat out of hell when a bout of dizziness kicked in and I bobbled forward then backwards and forwards again then off I went I swung all the way around under the banister smacked my head on a step and tumbled down the remaining stairs landing at the feet of the young ladies. I recieved a standing ovation for my effort and that along with the alcohol dulled my pain, that is until the next morning when I got up in agony and peeing blood the doctor informed me I was slightly concused had fractured a rib and was very lucky not to have ruptured my kidney when I landed.

I still say it was worth it.

The most embarrasing part of my story is probably where it happened but hey ho here goes.

I was in club WOW with a load of mates have a pretty good time but I was slightly worse for wear due to the amount of Turbo Diesel (Cider Lager Pernod and blackcurrent) I had consumed. I had a massive crush on a couple of girls who where in club WOW but I was struggling to find them, and being the 17 year old drunk virgin I was, I was on the PULL! I eventually saw the girls in question at the bottom of a flight of stairs near some Bandits and arcade machines they where in a group of about 15 to 20 girls and a couple of lads there was also a few other people around who I didnt know. Anyway to cut a long story short I pretended to sit on the Banister in the middle of the stairs and mimicked to slide forward, when one of the girls I liked saw me and decided to egg me on, then like a mexican wave everyone else who was at the bottom of the stairs started egging me on. The drunken devil inside me said go on its easy anyway only about 10 meters on a slight decline and you will be a hero amongs men. So of I went down the banister like a bat out of hell when a bout of dizziness kicked in and a bobbled forward then backwars and forwards again then off I went I swung all the way around under the banister smacked my head on a step and tumbled down the remaining stairs landing at the feet of the young ladies. I recieved a standing ovation for my effort and that along with the alcohol dulled my pain, that is until the next morning when I got up in agony and peeing blood the doctor informed me I was slightly concused and had fractured a rib and was very lucky not to have fractured my kidney when I landed.

I still say it was worth it.

Did you pull her then?

Lol you know what mate I cant remember :)

Although if I did it never went any further and the nights festivities where never mentioned again :)

I'm sure I've had a few, but my most recent one happened ..... this morning.

It's payday today, including pay-rise :clap: so on the way to work I stop to fill up at Waitrose. In the recent past I've had the pc on first thing to check the money's gone in as there are occasional cock-ups, what with SHU subbing out the payroll dept, but not today. Anyway, £33.20 in the car, book of stamps and a birthday card please. Swipes card. Nothing. Swipes card again. Nada.

Long story short, bless them, they thought it was just my card that was faulty so they let me go round to the ATMs at the store, in my car, but there was zilch in the bank. Payroll said I was paid. So I ended up having to wait at the petrol station for my b/f to bring me 40 quid. Whereupon the woman in the petrol station says I can fill out a coupon and come back later .... why she no tell me this before???? I think they could tell I was genuine though; people who drive off without paying tend not to go in the kiosk in the first place ;)

Waltzed into work 10 minutes late, rang the bank and found out that they were having difficulties processing salaries today. Technically I won't get paid till 6.00 tomorrow morning. Fortunately they gave me a sub and it had better be FREE.

It's happened before where my card hasn't worked for whatever reason, but never with 33 quidsworth of purchases that I've already got in my possession but can't actually pay for :blush:

Today, I had to go and photocopy a letter and thought I would take a couple of boxes of stationery with me as the stationery store was opposite the photocopier. Anyway, I balanced the two boxes of stationery in one arm and struggled trying to open a glass door with the other hand. I ended up having to put down the boxes, open the door, wedge it with my foot and grab the boxes again, before nipping smartly through the door. Nothing wrong with that, you might say, except the glass door opens onto the waiting area of a solicitors that shares the building and it was full of people all staring at me.

Now, I got through the door, still juggling with the boxes, only to realise that I was going the wrong way, the door had closed behind me and it was one of those with a security lock .............and the contents of the waiting room were still staring at me. So I did the only thing possible. I walked calmly up the stairs, nipped into my bosses office and deposited the boxes ........and retrieved them when the waiting room was empty again!

I don't get embarrassed as a rule, my friends always try to make me get red faced but nothing has worked thus far.

Until this..............

My mum had told me on the phone that you can send text messages to the house landline and that a posh proper English speaking woman or man reads the words of the text.

She said that someone had texted the word sh*t to her and it was funny so I thought I'd try it.

All this was done via text message between my mum and I so after I had finished texting her saying I'm going to text my own house phone I just cleared text and wrote a new message. Nothing strange there you'd think well......

My husband was upstairs and I thought I'd send something really sexually explicit just to see how he'd react it was a bit filthy to be honest, I finished my message and clicked send only to realise I was still in reply mode to my mum!

I sent the dirtiest message you could imagine to my mum (I’ve never even said a swear word in front of her despite being 26)

She texted my back and said "I'm your mother young lady and I'm not really into that sort of thing!"

Oh how my whole family laughed! I'm just glad that she lives in Glasgow and that I now live in sheffield I honestly felt sick with the humiliation lol


I can honestly say that’s the only time in my life I've been totally mortified!

I don't get embarrassed as a rule, my friends always try to make me get red faced but nothing has worked thus far.

Until this..............

My mum had told me on the phone that you can send text messages to the house landline and that a posh proper English speaking woman or man reads the words of the text.

She said that someone had texted the word sh*t to her and it was funny so I thought I'd try it.

All this was done via text message between my mum and I so after I had finished texting her saying I'm going to text my own house phone I just cleared text and wrote a new message. Nothing strange there you'd think well......

My husband was upstairs and I thought I'd send something really sexually explicit just to see how he'd react it was a bit filthy to be honest, I finished my message and clicked send only to realise I was still in reply mode to my mum!

I sent the dirtiest message you could imagine to my mum (I’ve never even said a swear word in front of her despite being 26)

She texted my back and said "I'm your mother young lady and I'm not really into that sort of thing!"

Oh how my whole family laughed! I'm just glad that she lives in Glasgow and that I now live in sheffield I honestly felt sick with the humiliation lol


I can honestly say that’s the only time in my life I've been totally mortified!

I has a similar text message "moment". A few years ago when my ex- and I were still together, his daughter - my best mate - was driving me mad harping on about a friend of hers who kept taking her for a mug, was unreliable and not turning up when they arranged to meet, always getting off with lads when they went out and leaving her to her own devices, and I was fed-up with telling her to dump said friend or play her at her own game - which she was just too soft to do. Anyway, we were having a night out with my then work colleagues so I sent one of them a text, as they were collecting her on the way to me, saying "if she starts going on about so-and-so, for God's sake tell her to shut her face because I'm sick of hearing about it".

And promptly sent it to my best mate :hihi:

Once when we were away in Portugal, I stayed in the apartment while my ex went for a drink.
After quite a few beers he came back to the apartment block, threw open the door and shouted --- rapist.
Unfortunately he was on the wrong floor and was answered by a big burly male coming to the door.
hazel

When i was 21 I met a girl and moved in with her and her grandparents.
There was a flea market on in town and a friend asked me to get him a german helmet and a nazi cross for his collection so I went into town and got them.
That afternoon I had a bath and my girlfriends grandparents were at the local bingo hall so I decided to spice the afternoon up.
I put on the helmet and the cross and goose stepped into the living room where the girlfriend was sitting...stark naked
They were all there, the girlfriend and her grand parents plus her parents...All watching tv and waiting for me to get out of the bath so they could tell me they had found a house for us. The bingo was cancelled in favour of my "Surprise" but it seems I surprised them instead.

Mine happened fairly recently.

One morning I was expecting my best mate to come round and call for me and I was waiting for him in the living room.

The doorbell rings, I assume it's my mate and I answer the door in our mock greeting: "Whaddup Dawg"

It was actually a bloke that had come to read the electricity meter :blush: :hihi:

He just said: "Right......."

when i was about 20 i stood outside top man on fargate waiting for my girlfriend who was inside , there was a large group of 16 -18 yr olds outside and feeling a little intimidated i nonchalently leant back into a side window that wasnt there!!!!, and fell flat on my back knocking the open display area flying ,dummies , shoe stand , the whole thing !!!!:blush:
it was just like the del boy scene in the yuppy bar !!, i simply got back up in about a second flat , as you do , and ran , it took my girlfriend ages to find me , and her first question was "wot were all those kids laughing at when i walked out of top man ?", my reply was " dunno summat stupid probably" and left it at that !!!

While out running i got stomach cramps and decided that i'd make a detour to my parents to use there toilet.However before i got there it became clear that it would be a step too far and alternative plans needed to be made.
The running motion only made it worse so i ended up walking on egg shells,then tiptoes and had to dive into a pub tap room,dressed in shorts and running vest,quickly asked to use the toilet and dived through the door.If there had been anybody on it i'd have sat on there knee.
After i'd been i was then faced with having to walk back through the pub and out.I walked through the door to a big cheer and then left as soon as possible.

I was stood with my balloons at the platform and 2 mins before the train came in along came the station master. ... "i'm afraid i'm going to have to ask you to move, as your balloons are over 9 foot (which for the record they weren't) there is a chance that the over head power lines could blow you up when a train goes past".
Just for the record, the 9' is the clearance required between the overheads and any object (or person). The fancy boarding on the overhang of the station canopy is there to shield passengers standing on the plaform, as being elevated by the platform already brings them dangerously close ;)

Have you any idea what it's like to have 25000volts shoot through your body? In case you hadn't realised, the power required to shove 2 engines and 9 carriages along the track, is significantly more than any appliance in any domestic setting - of which your shower is the most powerful ;)

Even if you'd held onto your ballons very tightly, the distance that such enormous voltages can arc is frighteningly large. It would be like being struck by lightning.


The platform attendant may have been a kill joy, but he probably saved your life :shocked:

Once when we were away in Portugal, I stayed in the apartment while my ex went for a drink.
After quite a few beers he came back to the apartment block, threw open the door and shouted --- rapist.
Unfortunately he was on the wrong floor and was answered by a big burly male coming to the door.
hazel
Reminds me of when I was courting. My boyfriend got drunk ,came to what he thought was my door(it wasnt) and shouted "Is this the house of ill repute?"

When I was about 13 or 14 me and my family were on holiday and we were round the pool, I had had enough of swimming so decided to go back to the hotel room to get dried and changed I then came back down and sat by the side of the pool, because it was hot I thought I would have a paddle, so I said to my brother how deep is it here, he said not very deep you can paddle here, so I went to paddle and ended up in the water up to the chin fully clothed, I never moved as quick to get out and run back to the hotel room dying with embarrassment.

When I was about 13 or 14 me and my family were on holiday and we were round the pool, I had had enough of swimming so decided to go back to the hotel room to get dried and changed I then came back down and sat by the side of the pool, because it was hot I thought I would have a paddle, so I said to my brother how deep is it here, he said not very deep you can paddle here, so I went to paddle and ended up in the water up to the chin fully clothed, I never moved as quick to get out and run back to the hotel room dying with embarrassment.

And i bet your nice brother was wetting himself laughing as well :thumbsup:

lolololollolololololololololol lololol

Just for the record, the 9' is the clearance required between the overheads and any object (or person). The fancy boarding on the overhang of the station canopy is there to shield passengers standing on the plaform, as being elevated by the platform already brings them dangerously close ;)

Have you any idea what it's like to have 25000volts shoot through your body? In case you hadn't realised, the power required to shove 2 engines and 9 carriages along the track, is significantly more than any appliance in any domestic setting - of which your shower is the most powerful ;)

Even if you'd held onto your ballons very tightly, the distance that such enormous voltages can arc is frighteningly large. It would be like being struck by lightning.


The platform attendant may have been a kill joy, but he probably saved your life :shocked:

Not something you think of though is it? Getting blown up at a station because of some helium balloons!

Anyway it didn't really ruin anything, my sister was still mortified at having to carry them through the station and trying to get them and her in the back of a VW polo followed by a meal complete with more balloons, a cake and singing in TGI Fridays!:hihi:

Aw bless you! But I have to admit you really made me laugh!

tell me your most embaricing moment lol:blush: :shocked:

Mod Note: Threads merged. Please search before posting a new topic.

I had a good one yesterday. I'd had a hard days shopping and was starving hungry. I went into mcdonalds and asked for a whopper. The guy behind the counter said "one happy meal"? and I said really slowly "No, a whopper meal please"
what a nutcase I thought, typical mcdonalds worker, course I realised then what I'd said.....and very meekly ordered a quarter pounder. (which was rank by the way)
I felt such an idiot. I'll be asking for a knife and fork next time too!

ooh ooh just thought of another one. years and years ago I had just started singing. One of my first gigs was at a pub in Rotherham with a make shift stage. It was 2 big squares of wood balanced with beer crates over a corner seating area. I was strutting about singing madonna ( like a virgin) thinking I was the bees knees, when my stilletto boot got stuck down the centre of these two planks of wood. I fell backwoods with legs splayed akimbo. How very flattering. But I kept on singing through the laughter......oh, the shame!

New years eve I thought I would pop in to Tesco to do a bit of food shopping in preperation for the night ahead. In my haste of gettin it done as quick as poss I somehow managed to lock my keys in the car :o As you can imagine the colour drained from my face and all I could do was peer through the glass at my keys happily sitting in the ignition.

Luckily tescos phoned the RAC who were amazing, they came within 15mins of the call and it didn't cost me a penny.

What is the funniest or most embarrassing thing you've done lately? :D

At the works Christmas party, as part of the games I was volunteered to participate..

It was like an obstacle course, and after I span round the cane 5 times I went off in completely the wrong direction head first in front of hundreds of people :blush:

Still, came second and won some wine which numbed the pain :D I was badly bruised for days after!

Falling asleep at our house party and having part of my eyebrow shaved off.

I didn't notice the next day and my housemates didn't tell me until I spoke to someone on the phone.

"Hows your eyebrow by the way?"

"Erm....what do you mean" *rushes to the mirror* "Dammit!"

My face was red......:blush:

I can think of another Mr Mitchell :hihi:

Was stayin at a mates house after a boozy night and me and me mate got home and he had no keys. The girlfriend was in bed and he decided to throw stones at the window hoping she would hear. After about 10 minutes of throwing stones and cursing and swearing and no answer, decided to clibb up a drainpipe and knock on the widow. Me mate tried and kept fallin off so I had a go and the pipe came away from the wall. We eventually got the girlfriend up and then went to bed and came down in the morning went to work and noticed next doors drainpipe about 18 inches away from the wall. Luckily they were on holiday and me mate said when they came back he told them it had been really very widy in Sheffield.

Was stayin at a mates house after a boozy night and me and me mate got home and he had no keys. The girlfriend was in bed and he decided to throw stones at the window hoping she would hear. After about 10 minutes of throwing stones and cursing and swearing and no answer, decided to clibb up a drainpipe and knock on the widow. Me mate tried and kept fallin off so I had a go and the pipe came away from the wall. We eventually got the girlfriend up and then went to bed and came down in the morning went to work and noticed next doors drainpipe about 18 inches away from the wall. Luckily they were on holiday and me mate said when they came back he told them it had been really very widy in Sheffield.

ahhh so it was you who did my drain in then mr incognito!

Embarrassed myself on new year's eve somewhat. I was in a bar in Huddesrfield and toddled off to the toilets which were right in the centre of the room, opposite the bar with a big sign saying "WASHROOMS" (in the plural!) above them. Walked in, saw a man with his willy out, thought nothing of it (unisex toilets are so common these days...), kept walking and then heard the dreaded words....

"This is the men's, love"

I know, I know, we've ALL done it. But I was stood there, not even drunk at this point thinking, now I have to walk out! And everyone will see!

Briefly considered confidently striding out and running to the ladies in the vain hope no-one would have noticed but they did. And everyone by the bar clapped. And my friends all laughed too. Bah.

Well thats made my evening Tingle :hihi: :hihi:

Thanks v.much :)

I have mentioned mine recently on here.
Mine is so terribly embarrassing that I don't think I dare post it again.
If anyone is intrigued they will have to search my posts.
I have posted a few on different threads but the one in question was when I kinda had to admit something to my dr.

At a wedding party recently (just before xmas!!!) I raised my camera to take a photo, with both hands, inconveniently forgetting that I was holding a wine glass in my left hand.... The next thing I knew, I was doused in white wine, and boy, it was cold !!!!!! It was my first drink and the glass was almost full!!!!! I stank like an alky for the rest of the evening!!!!!!

Mod Note: Threads merged. Please remember to search before starting a new thread.

I was driving past the botanical gardens a couple of months back and saw my mate coming towards me in his van. We'd just been speaking on the phone and I thought it a coincidence that we were on the same road, going different ways.

As he approached we ended up coming to a stop in the usual spot by Ant marketting where the traffic struggles to get through. I shouted "Nobhead" at him to make him jump, pretending to be an angry driver. This is when the embarrasment happened, it wasn't his van and a person who I'd never seen before stuck his head out of the window and said "you what?" to which I quickly replied, "I'm sorry, I thought you were one of my mates". He didn't see the funny side though and replied "Do you have many mates called Nobhead" at which point the traffic had cleared and my foot hit the accelerator :D

It amused my mate just after the event when I called him again and found he wasn't even in Sheffield.

Looking back it's funny, but at the time it was seriously embarrasing.

I was just going through some of the old ones, this is by far the best one

:hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

In tears laughing here..

I was telling a colleague at work about this thread, so she just had to tell me her own embarrassing moment.
In the early 70's as a teenager she use to go to a youth club disco where they had ultra violet lighting. She'd asked her mum to make a lovely white dress, so she'd look bright & noticable in the lights.
However the dress didn't shine at all, but not to worry she was dancing with the boy of her dreams.
All of a sudden she felt something fall from her waist & looked down to see her pure white knickers shining round her ankles, the elastic had broken (apparently back then knickers just had a piece of elastic threaded through them).
The boy she was dancing with didn't notice, so she quickly flicked them behind her with her feet.
Seconds later, she felt a tap on her shoulder, turning round was another boy holding up her bright white knickers in all there glory, saying at the top of his voice "I believe you've lost something"!

Reminds me of the time I lost my knickers in the middle of town! We (my boyfriend and I) used to walk round town, because we didn't have any money. My knickers were the sort with just elastic threaded through the waistband (well, it was a long time ago!) - and the elastic snapped, the knickers glided majestically to the floor! I just stepped out of them and carried on walking - hoping he wouldn't notice.

thats ssoooo bad !

Being BLLIND drunk (literally) and throwing up on my newly-arrived dinner plate in Napoleons...amidst a restaurant full of people, only to be escorted out of the door immediately. Only last year! The SHAME!!!

Being BLLIND drunk (literally) and throwing up on my newly-arrived dinner plate in Napoleons...amidst a restaurant full of people, only to be escorted out of the door immediately. Only last year! The SHAME!!!

Ooohhhh..... You've just reminded me of something!!!!

Many many years ago, when I was young and foolish (!!!) after visiting several pubs and then to Locarno's (on Abbeydale Road???? I think...) where I seem to remember several bottles of Lambrusco Red being bought and consumed, we then went for an Indian meal....

Being rather drunk at this stage, I ate some form of curry (can't quite remember what..) and then threw the whole lot up straight back on the plate - not a drop on the white tablecloth...

The waiter then appeared and sweetly said...

"Didn't you like it then??" - at which point I made a rapid dash for the ladies loo and deposited what was left of the curry and Lambrusco down the pan!!!!

I spent the next 2 days drying out!! And I've not touched Lambrusco Red (or White) since...... :gag: :hihi: :hihi:

when my husband and i bought our first house, my mum and my in laws were helping us decorate. My mum was stripping some wallpaper off and remarked "how could anyone have such disgusting paper on their walls, they must have a sense of humour". Unbeknown to my mother, my in-laws happened to have the same wallpaper in their house!

I did something similar! It was years ago and I was in the car with my brother and his mate. The ugliest car in the world went past and I commented thus, laughing and saying why on earth would anyone buy such a monstrous car...

Guess what car his mate had... :roll:

I used to rebild sports cars professionally (old British ones) with my good mate when I lived near Cambridge. This generally involved a pint or two after work.
One sunday lunch we adjourned for a pint and were joined by a smarmy guy I didn't like who worked for another car restoration company.
' What have you been up to this week?', I asked, trying my best to be pleasant.
'Rebuilding a Spitfire' he answered with a smarmy smile on his face.
'Oooh what! ... a Supermarine Spitfire?' I asked rather sarcastically with an amusing glance to my mate, thinking he meant a Triumph Spitfire.
'Yes' was his reply!
I nearly spat my beer out in surprise, turned out he was helping restore a Spitfire at RAF Duxford! :gag::hihi:

i used to be a car mechanic,one saturday morning i started work early and as i opened the workshop gates heard what sounded like a baby crying in the woods nearby. so off i walk to investigate through the long wet grass as the noise gradually trailed away.thinking it must have been a fox i go back to the works ,wet through to the skin from the morning dew. so i decide to strip off my clothes and dry them by the spaceheater. sitting bollock naked on a plastic chair my ears werent sensitive enough to hear the arrival of the local gas- bag couple as they came into the works! OOOOOOOO