For the most part, never say never, but I spotted a pattern today for a spanner cozy and thought 'you know, I can't ever imagine having a spanner I'd want to keep cozy with a knitted item'.

Other stuff I probably won't get around to knitting:

Dishcloths: there are a few pretty ones out there which might give you a chance to play about with a new stitch pattern with an odd ball of yarn (I like the dream catcher/spiral one), but I can't ever see myself knitting one of those dishcloths which have a design picked out in purl stitches against a stocking stitch background (the ones which litter Ravelry's new pattern pages from time to time). I use sponge scourers anyway.

Knitted swimwear: could be embarrassingly droopy when waterlogged.


Then again, I said the same thing about shawls, and I adore my Laminaria and Kiri...

Knitted undies. ugh, they make me shudder. And those knitted ugg boot thingys. I always said i wouldn't knit slippers, but my daughters foot size, which will remain unmentioned should i wish to keep my vital organs, have made me change my mind.

Now I saw the spanner cozy too and thought why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to knit one of those? I too would not want to knit underwear, a skirt (wouldn't that go baggy around the bottom) or any adult sized sweater/ cardi in sock weight yarn or less :lol:

Knitted sanitary protection *gag* - there really are patterns for these. Simply does not bear thinking about. Would be an amazing conversation stopper though... hmm.

Have to say, my knitted dishcloths/facecloths are popular, and I can say last really well. Sorry, Hecate.

There is also someone who works in a certain department store who knows a colleague with an idea to knit thing underwear out of Rowan Big Wool. Wrong on so many levels, in my opinion.

...Have to say, my knitted dishcloths/facecloths are popular, and I can say last really well. Sorry, Hecate...
I don't doubt it. The basic knit/purl dish cloths I mentioned aren't my cup of tea, but each to their own.

I'm with you on the other points though. I would never knit a reusable tampon (but I am rather partial to the Snatchel (http://www.theanticraft.com/archive/imbolc07/snatchel.htm) :D).

woolen bras lol .
my mum used to knit me socks !!!without toes or heals in and they used to iche me badly lol

This (http://thingsandideas.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/mad-as-a-boks-of-frogs/) is something I wouldn't knit either :o

This (http://thingsandideas.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/mad-as-a-boks-of-frogs/) is something I wouldn't knit either :o
That's amazing. I'd probably knit that. Not in a 'ooh, that'd be great to wear to Tesco' sort of way though, obviously.

Knitted pasties (boob not Cornish), however, do not make my must knit list. Actually, Cornish ones neither.

This (http://thingsandideas.wordpress.com/2008/10/21/mad-as-a-boks-of-frogs/) is something I wouldn't knit either :o

I can see that appearing on Crimewatch!

That's amazing. I'd probably knit that. Not in a 'ooh, that'd be great to wear to Tesco' sort of way though, obviously.

Knitted pasties (boob not Cornish), however, do not make my must knit list. Actually, Cornish ones neither.

Ahem, I had to look up knitted pasties and they too are not on my list either :blush:

Ahem, I had to look up knitted pasties and they too are not on my list either :blush:

Yes but they'd be quick and a good use of leftover yarn.

Never say never...

Yes but they'd be quick and a good use of leftover yarn.

Never say never...

How on earth do you stick them where they are supposed to go? Wouldn't they be awfully itchy? I'm looking at you in a different light now Wool2brains :suspect:

How on earth do you stick them where they are supposed to go? ...
I had a guess at boob tape, but apparently spirit gum is better for avoiding those awkward warm pasty slippage moments. (Info courtesy of Ravelry's Pastied Ladies group. You learn something new every day).

Think i could knit that fetching red head attire for the guy in the Aero advert. He is much more creepy than that.

Socks!!!

Oh dear, should I have said that?

As for knitted undies, I know of a crocheted Herdwick thong ( nice and prickly, with a little flower on the front) that is doing the rounds of the county shows with Richard of The Sheep Show, along with a 30ft scarf. Our contribution to this years Bakewell Show.

Socks!!!



You may be converted :( It's happened to the best of us :loopy:

Think i could knit that fetching red head attire for the guy in the Aero advert. He is much more creepy than that.
The bloke who wanders around in a towel talking about body temperature and melting chocolate? :love:

Yes, that's the bloke. I couldn't stand him squirming round me, not that our paths will ever cross. Have told everyone to eat more Aeros, that way he may go away. Everytime he comes on the telly i shout "Aero Alert." I may start a campaign to encourage the eating of Aeros in copious amounts. Any takers?

Yes, that's the bloke. I couldn't stand him squirming round me, not that our paths will ever cross. Have told everyone to eat more Aeros, that way he may go away. Everytime he comes on the telly i shout "Aero Alert." I may start a campaign to encourage the eating of Aeros in copious amounts. Any takers?
I'd be up for that. If Aeros start selling more due to his ad, it'll encourage them to do a sequel :banana: :D .

Cheeky! I only have eys's for Mr Radish. The feminist part of me does get a bit insulted that men like that think they are irresistable to woman. What about reliability, humour and ana ever open wallet................

Cheeky! I only have eys's for Mr Radish. The feminist part of me does get a bit insulted that men like that think they are irresistable to woman. What about reliability, humour and ana ever open wallet................
Probably in reality he's funny, clever, rich and gay :hihi: .

I do like that ad though. It makes a change from 'perfect' women doing suggestive things to chocolate in a bath tub. I demand more advertisements featuring semi-naked six-packed men :D .

Oh, and I'd never knit a jumper for my cat.

I do see your point. I'd just prefer the chocolate. I've no need to knit a jumper for the cats either, they lay all over mine.

Cripes this thread is degenerating - first pasties then Aero men (I have led such a sheltered life) :D I have had to go off and search out the Aero advert ( as our TV only apparently shows Playhouse Disney or CBeebies :suspect: ) to see what you are talking about :P He could definitely do with a nice warm sweater - he'll get chilly wandering around in just his towel won't he especially now the weather has turned :lol:

I don't think knitted cat attire is required in this house either. I also don't think I would ever crochet one of these (http://allthatsbestofdarkandbright.blogspot.com/2007/01/not-your-grannys-knitting.html) :o

...I also don't think I would ever crochet one of these (http://allthatsbestofdarkandbright.blogspot.com/2007/01/not-your-grannys-knitting.html) :o
But it's so pretty :D .

Can I admit to feeling cheated that the link on there to crochetmycrotch.com no longer goes to a site about crocheted goodness? Hint: don't click on it to check (thought it's only ad-like links, so it's not that bad)... :hihi:

I really wanted to knit a willy warmer or two for a couple of friends last Christmas - as a joke you understand - but I thought it might backfire with lots of wounded fragile male egos if I underestimated the sizing :roll: :hihi: .

*stops lowering the tone*

I quite like that knitted digestive tract from a few years ago, but I can't see me ever knitting a stomach or an oesophagus.

Is that to go with the knitted sanitary protection mentioned earlier?:gag:

Is that to go with the knitted sanitary protection mentioned earlier?:gag:
There's a pattern out there for a 'pad holder' (http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/vagina-pad-holder) which combines the two, which I thought would look quite nice in my bathroom. Or perhaps not.

Just reading the site Lisa linked to and found that you can buy ear muffs of, shall we say, the same design. The cat jumped off the desk in alarm at me laughing so much at the mental image that conjured up :hihi: .

Now I saw the spanner cozy too and thought why on earth would anyone in their right mind want to knit one of those? I too would not want to knit underwear, a skirt (wouldn't that go baggy around the bottom) or any adult sized sweater/ cardi in sock weight yarn or less :lol:

I can't see the point in a spanner cosy (surely spanners don't actually need to be kept warm? :suspect:) but I have made, and used to wear, a number of skirts, either knitted, crocheted or lace.

As long as your tension is correct and your skirt isn't tight enough to stretch when you're wearing it then they can actually work quite well. I had a few soft suits that I had knitted myself (I know, a bit twinset-esque, but I worked for a knitting machine company and I wanted to see whether all of the patterns worked both on the machine and by hand) and I wore them to work just as I did with the jumpers that I knitted using the machine.

The lace skirt took months to complete and was done with a 0.6mm hook (and trying to see your stitches when you're working that small with black cotton is much harder than you'd think!) for a friend's wedding going away outfit, so to my knowledge was only worn once. After how long it took me to make the skirt I stuck to lace gloves after that. Then again I am the sort of person who used to knit or crochet baby blankets that are 2m square out of 3-ply wool.

There are lots of things that I wouldn't knit- anything out of chunky wool, for instance.

Can't find pad holder, trying to work out if i'm disappointed or not! Could do with a giggle though. Will definately give the ear muffs a miss. Could this thread get more disgusting?! It definatley blows the old woman in the rocking chair knitting image away.

Not that i've ever tried, but remember my nan saying you should line knitted skirts to avoid unsightly mis shaping.

I saw a pttern for a knitted reproductive system somewhere.....then there was a knitted condom.........

LOL can I admit that knitted sanitary towels are on my 'to-do' list for real?! I already use reusable stuff anyway, but I'd never go as far as a knitted tampon, I have to say!

Knitted uteri (http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html) are quite fun though!

LOL can I admit that knitted sanitary towels are on my 'to-do' list for real?! I already use reusable stuff anyway, but I'd never go as far as a knitted tampon, I have to say!

Knitted uteri (http://www.knitty.com/ISSUEwinter04/PATTwomb.html) are quite fun though!

http://www.mum.org/NorwNews.htm

Why did I even bother finding this :huh: :suspect: :rolleyes:

Can't find pad holder, trying to work out if i'm disappointed or not! Could do with a giggle though. Will definately give the ear muffs a miss. Could this thread get more disgusting?! It definatley blows the old woman in the rocking chair knitting image away.

ALERT: NOT WORK APPROPRIATE :lol:

Here (http://cora1965.livejournal.com/4616.html) is the pad holder (including the pattern for those interested) for non-Ravelry people.

:gag: Mr Radish says that's nasty!

It's strange how that site states that you have to be over 14 to view the pattern, and that it indicates 'adult content'. I was expecting bare boobies in close proximity with dangly bits at the very least :hihi: .

Girls can enter puberty at around the age of 8 or so, and by 14 most are certainly familiar with pubic hair, periods, genital anatomy and the like, especially as it's their own which that site is considering.

Honestly, some people need to unclench and stop associating the naked female or male body with sex when the context doesn't suggest it, and especially when that anatomy is crocheted :hihi: .

And now back to your normal knitting content.