Argghhh! I've come on to rant, I'm afraid:rant: Do people stride up to wheelchair users in the street and suggest to them that perhaps they could walk after all? If a friend of yours had a child who was blind, would you question the diagnosis?

To cut a long story short, my mother told me last night that she thinks my daughter is no more dyspraxic than she is and my sister (who I had hoped would be more supportive) actually agreed with her.

What is their problem? Do they think that the NHS is so awash with money that they dole out diagnoses and treatment programmes just for the fun of it? Do they think that the physios at the Ryegate centre have so few children to see that they enlist a few perfectly able-bodied ones just to fill their books up?

And, apart from the sheer illogicality of it, how insulting. How insulting to our K, who tries so hard and has made such brilliant progress despite her difficulties (which also include ADHD and a global learning disability). And how insulting to us, as parents, who have supported her unfalteringly and done battle with school to get her the appropriate help with her writing.

I have come across this attitude several times before, mostly from other parents (of extremely able children, of course) but it's really hard to take when it comes from your own family.

Has anyone else come across this denial / minimisation of neurodisabilities? And, if so, what do you do about it?

i feel so sorry for you that your family are not supportive for you hope it sorts its self out soon

I agree Bolehill, it is an outrageous and insensitive comment to make. Unfortunately dyspraxia is one of these recently recognised conditions that very few people have much awareness or understanding of. Maybe she was just trying to helpful in her own way by suggesting that there is actually 'nothing worng' with little Ms Bolehill? I'm sure it wasn't intended as a slur on all the professionals who've been involved or you and your partner.

I have come across many parents who are in denial of their kids' neuro atypical behaviour and some grandparents too. At the end of the day, the fact that your daughter's problem has been identified and she is receiving the porofessional and home support she needs is brilliant.

Thanks Marie and Suffy for your kind words. And yes, I'm sure my Mum and sister did not mean to be so hurtful. I wish they'd think before spouting their ill-informed opinions though.

You'd think my Mum would know better. When I was a kid I had severe asthma and, in the 1970s, faced a lot of prejudice from PE teachers and others who believed that asthma is just psychosomatic (by which they meant: indicative of a weak character). My Mum had to battle their prejudices to ensure that my health needs were taken into consideration at school.

Mostly I'm cross with myself for allowing myself to be drawn into the argument. I shouldn't have to defend K's neurodisabilities at all - they are simply a matter of fact. No-one knows her or loves her more than I do and no-one else has spent the time talking to the paediatricians, physios, ed psychs etc. If her grandma and aunt are more interested in talking than listening then so be it.

Thanks Marie and Suffy for your kind words. And yes, I'm sure my Mum and sister did not mean to be so hurtful. I wish they'd think before spouting their ill-informed opinions though.

You'd think my Mum would know better. When I was a kid I had severe asthma and, in the 1970s, faced a lot of prejudice from PE teachers and others who believed that asthma is just psychosomatic (by which they meant: indicative of a weak character). My Mum had to battle their prejudices to ensure that my health needs were taken into consideration at school.

Mostly I'm cross with myself for allowing myself to be drawn into the argument. I shouldn't have to defend K's neurodisabilities at all - they are simply a matter of fact. No-one knows her or loves her more than I do and no-one else has spent the time talking to the paediatricians, physios, ed psychs etc. If her grandma and aunt are more interested in talking than listening then so be it.

They probably see dyspraxia as a 'hidden disability' so therefore have problems accepting it as real, unlike asthma. Maybe next time this comes up in coversation, you could highlight the asthma experiences as an example of what you're up against?

It always galls me when some people taken it upon themsleves to think they know children better than their own parents.:rolleyes: Most people haven't even heard of it. There's still a school of thought who refuses to accept dyslexia as a bona fide condition too:rolleyes: and believe that we live in a society where everything must have a label.

keep your head held high and just keep doing what your doing for your daughter a parents love is the best treatment for any disability.

My goodness this would have left me steaming also im afriad!!

You expect this from people that dont really know your children, and over time you get a thicker skin, try not to let your familys comments get to you, like you said they didnt mean to offend you....................some people are just blooming thick!

Chin Up!! keep plodding, your daughter is lucky to have such a fab mum :)

Thanks you guys. I'm feeling a bit more cheery now. :)

glad to here that keep smiling

There is potential for misdiagnosis.
Some people don't view such traits as disabilities.
People mature at different rates and the dyspraxia may only be a temporary thing.

There is potential for misdiagnosis.
Some people don't view such traits as disabilities.
People mature at different rates and the dyspraxia may only be a temporary thing.
It is a neorological disabilty.How can it be a temporary thing?????
Neurologists will tell you that at the moment there is no cure for neurological problems such as dyspraxia, autism and epilepsy.There is pioneering research going on now but it is very very early days,.There is no cure but as research progresses and funding increases for research, we will soon get to the point where we can look at ways to not necessarily overcome these problems but find very good ways of helping with them.People do not grow out of these disabilities. there is some suggestion that disabilities such as asperger syndrome becomes less of a problem as you get in to middle age, purely because we develop coping strategies to overcome them.
Who are the 'some people dont view such traits as disabilities'.Just spend a week living in my house and spend a week at work with my son and you will see how disabling dyspraxia really is.

Argghhh! I've come on to rant, I'm afraid:rant: Do people stride up to wheelchair users in the street and suggest to them that perhaps they could walk after all? If a friend of yours had a child who was blind, would you question the diagnosis?

To cut a long story short, my mother told me last night that she thinks my daughter is no more dyspraxic than she is and my sister (who I had hoped would be more supportive) actually agreed with her.

What is their problem? Do they think that the NHS is so awash with money that they dole out diagnoses and treatment programmes just for the fun of it? Do they think that the physios at the Ryegate centre have so few children to see that they enlist a few perfectly able-bodied ones just to fill their books up?

And, apart from the sheer illogicality of it, how insulting. How insulting to our K, who tries so hard and has made such brilliant progress despite her difficulties (which also include ADHD and a global learning disability). And how insulting to us, as parents, who have supported her unfalteringly and done battle with school to get her the appropriate help with her writing.

I have come across this attitude several times before, mostly from other parents (of extremely able children, of course) but it's really hard to take when it comes from your own family.

Has anyone else come across this denial / minimisation of neurodisabilities? And, if so, what do you do about it?
What your Mum is really saying is that maybe she has traits of dyspraxia and hasnt been able to address these issues.I have the exact same problem with my family.It really doesnt matter what they say or what they think.You are the only expert on your K.There is no other expert who knows her better and understands her difficulties better than you.Just always remember that.:thumbsup:

You'll always have some people questioning things they know nothing about - generally because they actually don't know what they're talking about! When someone has a 'visible' disability they're much less likely to have people question the existence of a disability but equally they are more likely to experience different types of rude and ignorant behaviour - such being talked about as if they are not there, being patronised and/or being ignored.

If you can get any information leaflets about your daughters disabilities to give to your relatives then this may help their understanding - it's not very pleasant to have the people you expect to support you give you a hard time - intentional or not.

It's also perfectly natural for you to feel the way you do because you're naturally protective of your daughter - some people say these sort of things in a bungling attempt to get you to worry less about it (which I know sounds bizarre). Maybe have a chat with your mum and sister and explain how you feel when they say things which you perceive to be them dismissing the difficulties your daughter has. And that you would appreciate their help and understanding of the difficulties in order to be able to deal with them.

My daughter is dyspraxic and I think she probably inherited it from me in part but also because of her position in the womb caused some weakness down one side. I tried for year during primary school to get doctors to accept she was different and was told she would grow out of it. In her 2nd year in Secondary School she was referred by her asthma specialist to a neurologist. He confirmed that she was dyspraxic and said it was unlikely she would improve greatly. However he wasn't entirely right either. With sheer determination and physio exercises she has improved her balance and lopsided ness. She is still dyspraxic and always will be but she has improved. But if only the doctors would have accepted my concerns when she was 3 years old she could have been saved so much pain growing up. Dyslexia is a tricky one as I have studied that at University and know. True dyslexia is a result of brain damage. Dyslexia in children is a processing problem and often a development problem but not necessarily permanent. There is a danger in labling children too quickly. When I have talked to doctors teachers etc I have always concentrated on her specific difficulties as children do vary so much and just saying she is dyspraxic to professionals doesn't really help. My husband as a teacher has spotted a few children with dyslexia but equally he has had to tell some parents who had their child privately assessed at great expense that they have wasted their money and their child has a temporary problem which he can help with.

Thanks guys. Yes, Espadrille, you're right to say that my Mum has some level of dyspraxia. Undiagnosed mild dyspraxia does affect some members of my family on my Mum's side. It is mild and they are all intellectually brilliant, though, so it hasn't held them back much. I think the main problem is her inability to listen to and learn from others. Despite having absolutely not a clue what K's neurodisabilities mean for her - now or in her adulthood - she still feels the need to hold forth with her views.

Thanks guys. Yes, Espadrille, you're right to say that my Mum has some level of dyspraxia. Undiagnosed mild dyspraxia does affect some members of my family on my Mum's side. It is mild and they are all intellectually brilliant, though, so it hasn't held them back much. I think the main problem is her inability to listen to and learn from others. Despite having absolutely not a clue what K's neurodisabilities mean for her - now or in her adulthood - she still feels the need to hold forth with her views.
She sounds like a strong willed woman!!