Recently, my friend and I (both in mid thirties) have both had the experience of finding out that our husbands (one late thirties, one early forties), were having quite full on flirt relationships with a women in their (seperate) workplaces.

In both instances the woman involved was younger by 10 -15 years.

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?

Where is the solidarity?

Mostly in the pants of the older man.

I think most people flirt, if thats all it is i dont see anything wrong, but then again, who knows how far things will be taken? :suspect:

Should be up to your husbands to keep it proper. Them girls never promised you nuthin, lady.

They're trollops with no brains between their ears and loose knees. They see these older blokes as good 'practice' runs for next time they're in a bar on Eccy Rd, all tangoed up, and see that footballer they really want to pull. The sad thing is the men think these trollops fancy them but they don't unless he has a house in Whirlow and a Porsche.

Should be up to your husbands to keep it proper. Them girls never promised you nuthin, lady.

Absolutely spot on.

the attraction is the competition

a bloke who's single is single for a reason, whereas a bloke who's taken already is a catch

besides, blokes who are older are usually better off financially

then there's the whole manipulation/power thing

oh, and the sickest of all... this is how they got what they wanted out of daddy

besides, blokes who are older are usually better off financially


Surely the young women appreciate that these men have wives, children and labradors to support?

why would they scoop?

older men are renowned for their stupidity under flattery

have you not seen Love Actually?

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?

Sadly that sounds more like wishful thinking of a mature man trying to justify an infatuation with a younger woman he works with..'I couldn't help it, she wouldn't stop coming on to me' :(

Anyway. The issue for me is why women flirt with married men so outragously. Or even sleep with them when it boils down to it. I find it scandelous and un-sisterly.

Maybe it was the men who started it and to be honest if some cute guys at work was flirting with me and I notced a wedding ring I would probably flirt back a little, I would much prefer to do that then reply with "Sorry but I really dont think you should be flirting with me when you have a wife and possibly kids at home, you should be ashamed of youself, who do you think you are?" :o

They could also just be trying to make the work day a little more pleasurable, nothing wrong with innocent flirting, it makes people happy, but dont cross the line

Dont get me wrong, I am not a fan of "Those women", they've screwed me over a few times but innocent flirting can brighten up the day.

You mention outragous flirting, do you know what was said etc?

the attraction is the competition

a bloke who's single is single for a reason, whereas a bloke who's taken already is a catch

besides, blokes who are older are usually better off financially

then there's the whole manipulation/power thing

oh, and the sickest of all... this is how they got what they wanted out of daddy

All of the above. It's amazing how much pulling power a wedding ring can have. I think some women see a married guy as more of a challenge rather than some singleton who may be a push over. Nasty business. That said, how far did the flirtingactually go though? And how did you find out?

As kthebean said, it's the men who've made a commitment and not the women.

Sadly that sounds more like wishful thinking of a mature man trying to justify an infatuation with a younger woman he works with..'I couldn't help it, she wouldn't stop coming on to me' :(

In these two cases the men weren't in a position to justify or deny anything. Text messages and emails from the young strumpets have been read by the wronged wives. We know what they've been suggesting to our pratts......erm I mean husbands.

Many years ago my mum mentioned in a phone conversation that a woman my dad had given a lift to had left her gloves in the car - which set all kinds of alarm bells off ringing for me... and her too it turns out

this woman went on to use every excuse under the sun to elicit sympathy from my father over many different issues, and eventually secured the affair my mother and I had predicted

Anyway. The issue for me is why women flirt with married men so outragously. Or even sleep with them when it boils down to it. I find it scandelous and un-sisterly.

You're rather damning womankind scoop. Do women flirt anymore with married men, than men do with married women?

Post deleted. It even bored me rigid.

hang on, text messages go wayyyyy over the line

a bit of in-office flirting makes the world go round, but we all know it's supposed to be just to lighten the mood

Should be up to your husbands to keep it proper. Them girls never promised you nuthin, lady.

Seconded.

Not very edifying to see all of young womankind scourged because your husband doesn't know (:rolleyes:) how to discourage someone from flirting with him.

Have you read the texts and emails that he sent her?

In these two cases the men weren't in a position to justify or deny anything. Text messages and emails from the young strumpets have been read by the wronged wives. We know what they've been suggesting to our pratts......erm I mean husbands.

Truly I am sorry about the outcome scoop and understand you might be angry, but presumably your partners were responding in kind to these messages?

I speak from a dishonourable experience on my part, and found that it was easier to deflect the blame onto others for my own shortcomings.

Text messaging is going too far, I would be furious!

Can you write what was in these text messages and emails or is it too rude?

Adulterers could get away with so much more before all this modern technology came along couldn't they?

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?


No such thing as solidarity really though its a nice sentiment.
Young women will generally get a positive response from an older man. Both ego's get a boost, everyones a winner! - apart from old wifey i suppose, but she shouldnt find out.

Recently, my friend and I (both in mid thirties) have both had the experience of finding out that our husbands (one late thirties, one early forties), were having quite full on flirt relationships with a women in their (seperate) workplaces.

In both instances the woman involved was younger by 10 -15 years.

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?

There is NO solidarity between women - never has been, probably never will be. We're brought up to see all other females as rivals for male attention, first and foremost.

Sad, but true

StarSparkle

No such thing as solidarity really though its a nice sentiment.
Young women will generally get a positive response from an older man. Both ego's get a boost, everyones a winner! - apart from old wifey i suppose, but she shouldnt find out.

They generally get positive responses from younger men too :D

why would they scoop?

older men are renowned for their stupidity under flattery

have you not seen Love Actually?

Thats a film, not real :D

There is banter, flirting and over stepping the mark, when young women are laying it on a bit thick it is usually so obvious only a fool would miss the signs but then again there are a lot of fools knocking about.

There is NO solidarity between women - never has been, probably never will be. We're brought up to see all other females as rivals for male attention, first and foremost.

Sad, but true

StarSparkle

I dont think thats true and I think its sad you think that. I think there are lots of women who would draw the line at having a relationship with a married man, no matter how much they liked him, for the sake of his wife, even if they didn't know her. I certainly would. Not all women are predatory and hostile.

I dont mind if my partner flirts with people during his day. A smile, a wink, a shared joke, theres no problem with that.

If he stepped over the line into texting, phoning, or meeting up with someone else, thats his fault and I lay the blame firmly on his part. If anyone acts inappropriately towards him I would expect him to tell them kindly but with leaving no room for doubt that he's taken.

Maybe I just have higher standards in my relationships than others do in theirs? :confused:

Yes I see where you are all coming from, but as I mentioned in my first post, I know it takes two to tango, the husbands were in the wrong and were severely punished (and not in a nice way). But, I kind of understand it from a mans point of view, I appreciate that men are incredibly easily flattered, but what really boggles my mind is why these womwn would behave in such a way.

I'm no prude, but I would never speak to another womans husband (or to any man I wasn't intimatley involved with for that matter) in the way that these women were. And, for those that asked, both incoming and outgoing messages were read, and on the whole the womens messages were by far the most suggestive.

As Bob Monhouse once said, "I love my house too much to have an affair".

Adulterers could get away with so much more before all this modern technology came along couldn't they?I suspect not - effective contraception is a pretty recent development, and greatly improves the chances of away with it. ;)

I dont think thats true and I think its sad you think that. I think there are lots of women who would draw the line at having a relationship with a married man, no matter how much they liked him, for the sake of his wife, even if they didn't know her. I certainly would. Not all women are predatory and hostile.

I dont mind if my partner flirts with people during his day. A smile, a wink, a shared joke, theres no problem with that.

If he stepped over the line into texting, phoning, or meeting up with someone else, thats his fault and I lay the blame firmly on his part. If anyone acts inappropriately towards him I would expect him to tell them kindly but with leaving no room for doubt that he's taken.

Maybe I just have higher standards in my relationships than others do in theirs? :confused:


Then I think you and I are very much in the minority, KTheBean.

The vast majority of women do see each other as rivals and competitors - they may pay lip-service to 'solidarity' but if it comes to the crunch - most women will grab what they can for themselves.

I don't like it any more than you do - but it's how people are. I'm just being realistic.

StarSparkle

As Bob Monkhouse once said, "I love my house too much to have an affair".Didn't stop him though, did it? :hihi:

Thats a film, not real :D

And a crap one at that.:gag:

I agree with StarSparkle, the sisterhood often flies out of the window when it comes to men.:mad: And these very same women would be the first to go berserk if another woman came on to their man.

Thats a film, not real :D
It happens in real life too - and too close to home here for my liking

(My sis and I will be throwing a party when my mum and dad divorce :banana: )

It happens in real life too - and too close to home here for my liking

(My sis and I will be throwing a party when my mum and dad divorce :banana: )

Men.......:roll:

Then I think you and I are very much in the minority, KTheBean.

The vast majority of women do see each other as rivals and competitors - they may pay lip-service to 'solidarity' but if it comes to the crunch - most women will grab what they can for themselves.

I don't like it any more than you do - but it's how people are. I'm just being realistic.

StarSparkle

I think men (and a lot of women too) are very easily flattered and of course it's going to be a boost to their ego to have come younger woman come onto them. The problem for you though scoop is that presumably your husband is still working in close proximity with this woman on a daily basis. The question is, where do you go from here?

There is NO solidarity between women - never has been, probably never will be. We're brought up to see all other females as rivals for male attention, first and foremost.

Sad, but true

StarSparkle

I agree. Put a group of women together and they generally dont get on well. I've seen the Apprentice!
I've also seen womens faces in a bar for example when a prettier woman walks in.

I agree. Put a group of women together and they generally dont get on well. I've seen the Apprentice!
I've also seen womens faces in a bar for example when a prettier woman walks in.

The Apprentice?:rolleyes:

It is depressing though. The number of women I know who've slept with partners of their friends or had a friend sleep with their partner is totally depressing. A friend of mine had a dalliance with her flat mate's (and friend) boyfriend. I'm also convinced she slept with a boyfriend of mine, although I'll never prove it.

The Apprentice?:rolleyes:

It is depressing though. The number of women I know who've slept with partners of their friends or had a friend sleep with their partner is totally depressing. A friend of mine had a dalliance with her flat mate's (and friend) boyfriend. I'm also convinced she slept with a boyfriend of mine, although I'll never prove it.

I'd question your choice of words there mate..

And I do disagree with "the vast majority of women". Maybe I just know different women.

PS I hate everyone on the apprentice, regardless of gender :hihi:

The Apprentice?:rolleyes:

It is depressing though. The number of women I know who've slept with partners of their friends or had a friend sleep with their partner is totally depressing. A friend of mine had a dalliance with her flat mate's (and friend) boyfriend. I'm also convinced she slept with a boyfriend of mine, although I'll never prove it.

Looks like you could need some new friends, preferably ones that don’t jump into bed with each other. :o

I'd question your choice of words there mate..

And I do disagree with "the vast majority of women". Maybe I just know different women.

PS I hate everyone on the apprentice, regardless of gender :hihi:

Well yes indeed, but I'll never know as he is long gone from my life and she would never admit it in a million years. However, it would not surprise me in the least and as it was pre-mobiles etc, I never found any conclusive proof that they did.

Men do seem to try it on a lot with their girlfriends' friends. I've been on the receiving end of many a pass made to me by a friend's boyfriend.:mad:

I don't think I said 'vast majority of women' did I? I do think for a lot though, the notion of sisterhood and 'do unto others' etc flies out of the window.

Looks like you could need some new friends, preferably ones that don’t jump into bed with each other. :o

Only 1 friend to my knowledge (again it's a gut instinct rather than proof) and the others I said 'women I know'.

I delivered a sharp right hook to the scumbag Mr Strix used to call his best friend :D

I didn't know whether to be more annoyed at him betraying the friendship or for thinking I was dumb enough to fall for the claptrap he was spouting :mad:

I was in a right situation over that, as I was staying on their turf at the time, and the whole gang was out. Having nearly knocked his head off I had to leave the pub, and just hope against hope Mr Strix would follow :(

Thankfully I spent the rest of the evening with the rest of the group each cornering me quietly and telling me how much they'd wanted to do the same to him recently :hihi:

not all women are the same, but I don't travel under the banner 'women' anyway ;)

Well yes indeed, but I'll never know as he is long gone from my life and she would never admit it in a million years. However, it would not surprise me in the least and as it was pre-mobiles etc, I never found any conclusive proof that they did.

Men do seem to try it on a lot with their girlfriends' friends. I've been on the receiving end of many a pass made to me by a friend's boyfriend.:mad:

I don't think I said 'vast majority of women' did I? I do think for a lot though, the notion of sisterhood and 'do unto others' etc flies out of the window.

No you didn't, that was StarSparkles gloomy assessment :hihi:

I dont think thats true and I think its sad you think that. I think there are lots of women who would draw the line at having a relationship with a married man, no matter how much they liked him, for the sake of his wife, even if they didn't know her. I certainly would. Not all women are predatory and hostile.

I dont mind if my partner flirts with people during his day. A smile, a wink, a shared joke, theres no problem with that.

If he stepped over the line into texting, phoning, or meeting up with someone else, thats his fault and I lay the blame firmly on his part. If anyone acts inappropriately towards him I would expect him to tell them kindly but with leaving no room for doubt that he's taken.

Maybe I just have higher standards in my relationships than others do in theirs? :confused:

Spot on. :thumbsup:

I have a laugh with the guys at work (which is often flirty in nature), and they with me. It's a joke, just a bit of banter and it makes the time go quicker. Most of them feel the same, and on the odd occasion it has been misconstrued I set them straight immediately. I don't see any harm in it, provided that's all it is. The same goes for if I found out my partner was flirting- it wouldn't bother me, as long as it was just flirting.

I'd never go as far as dirty texts or emails, but if someone does the blame lies with the one who promised to forsake all others. If your partner has any respect for you they won't respond apart from to make it clear they're unavailable and won't be replying in kind.

having quite full on flirt relationships with a women in their (seperate) workplaces.


What on earth is a 'flirt relationship'?

What on earth is a 'flirt relationship'?

Dont worry poppet I'm sure you'll not be troubled by one :D

Only 1 friend to my knowledge (again it's a gut instinct rather than poof) and the others I said 'women I know'.

It was a male friend? :o

Cyclone - you clearly haven't lived :rolleyes:

Spot on. :thumbsup:

I have a laugh with the guys at work (which is often flirty in nature), and they with me. It's a joke, just a bit of banter and it makes the time go quicker. Most of them feel the same, and on the odd occasion it has been misconstrued I set them straight immediately. I don't see any harm in it, provided that's all it is. The same goes for if I found out my partner was flirting- it wouldn't bother me, as long as it was just flirting.

I'd never go as far as dirty texts or emails, but if someone does the blame lies with the one who promised to forsake all others. If your partner has any respect for you they won't respond apart from to make it clear they're unavailable and won't be replying in kind.

I have no idea if Mr flirts with other women, he certainly hasn't done in my company & if he had I would have pulled him up on it. However, if he does flirt/banter at work then it wouldn't bother me. I'm doubtful as to whether the poor chap gets the opportunity though as he's in a very male dominated environment.

If I were to stumble upon a load of erotic texts and emails though, I think I would be livid. And even more livid that he left behind an audit trail.:hihi:

I was once accused by my boss of nearly bringing about his divorce :shocked:

My phonebook was full on my phone, so I was using last dialled numbers for keeping track of about 3 other numbers I couldn't fit in

I was working away from home, and was staying in the same B&B as a colleague, who I attempted to send a text to - 'do you fancy a walk'

I was perplexed as to why I'd had no reply, but shrugged it off

The following week, when my boss came back off holiday he told me he and his wife had been sat in the pub when he'd got my text :blush: (He'd been known as something of a jack the lad in his past btw). His wife went ballistic! Oh, and to add to the confusion he'd managed to replace a mate's number with mine, which proved he was trying to hide something (in her book)!!!

:hihi: :hihi: :hihi:

the colleague I was trying to invite for a walk was somewhat amused by the situation too :rolleyes:

Text and emails??? and a fair few seem to be of the opinion that it's a flirt relationship?

LOL

Dont worry poppet I'm sure you'll not be troubled by one :D

Very funny.

I'm sure I won't because it sounds like a non sensical term.

The action of flirting I understand.

Various relationships I understand.

But a flirt relationship is just gibberish.

Text and emails??? and a fair few seem to be of the opinion that it's a flirt relationship?

LOL

Depends on the nature of them though doesn't it? If the text/email for example were to say 'I can't wait to throw you onto the nearest table and bleep your bleep brains out' then surely that would give you cause for concern?

It was a male friend? :o

Me and my damned typos!:rant:

Depends on the nature of them though doesn't it? If the text/email for example were to say 'I can't wait to throw you onto the nearest table and bleep your bleep brains out' then surely that would give you cause for concern?

That's not flirting, that just suggests that they're having an affair.

That's not flirting, that just suggests that they're having an affair.

No it doesn't, it could all be within the realms of fantasy and they may never have enacted any of it.

Surely the young women appreciate that these men have wives, children and labradors to support?

I don't think some women think of this at all. There is nothing more exciting than the first throws of a relationship. People get swept away very easily.

I firmly believe that what goes around comes around......

My brother in law left his wife and kids for a younger, more free and single air hostess. God, their financial and family lives have been a misery since then!

I have been surprised at how many women I have spoken to about this or have met her have not given the air hostess one bit of sympathy.

No it doesn't, it could all be within the realms of fantasy and they may never have enacted any of it.

C'mon suff....swapping emails and text's are what's called 'hitting on' not flirting. Just the fact that you've exchanged addy's n phone numbers suggests far more than a flirt!

I flirt with my best mates wife...I'd never ask for her number or addy so we could have a "full on flirt relationship".

No it doesn't, it could all be within the realms of fantasy and they may never have enacted any of it.

flirt: playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

Which bit of the possible text/email that you suggested sounded playful?

Flirting would be subtle and suggestive, not blatant and explicit.

It can take place between friends or strangers, but the relationship is just that, friendship, colleague, stranger, the behaviour is flirting. Flirt relationship doesn't mean anything.

C'mon suff....swapping emails and text's are what's called 'hitting on' not flirting. Just the fact that you've exchanged addy's n phone numbers suggests far more than a flirt!

I flirt with my best mates wife...I'd never ask for her number or addy so we could have a "full on flirt relationship".

Whatever. I didn't coin the phrase 'flirting relationship' but I just assumed that was what the OP meant. The fact is, however you define it, people can engage with and exchange sexual fantasies and scenarios involving the other party, without ever actually having so much as a chaste kiss with them. I guess it's a form of interactive porn.

Which bit of the possible text/email that you suggested sounded playful?

Flirting would be subtle and suggestive, not blatant and explicit.

It can take place between friends or strangers, but the relationship is just that, friendship, colleague, stranger, the behaviour is flirting. Flirt relationship doesn't mean anything.

See ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Probably easiest if we all agree that cyclone is right as usual so we can get back on topic:roll:

a bloke who's single is single for a reason, whereas a bloke who's taken already is a catch



Maybe they are single because they have'nt met anyone they want to be with in that way, not because they have anything wrong with them.

Most of my mates who are single are better catches than the ones in relationships.Then again i think a lot of people get together out of convineince or fear of been lonley, personally i would rather be on my todd than in relationship just for the sake of it...... plus i am not a very good catch :( :P

p.s strix I havent forgot about the dog poster thing, i shall be in touch when i am feeling a bit better mate :)

Maybe they are single because they have'nt met anyone they want to be with in that way, not because they have anything wrong with them.

I agree, however, some will view the married man as 'oooh well he's obviously worth having, what am I missing out on here?' It's true. I've seen it happen. A guy I had a relationship with where I used to work, was scrawny and had bad acne and was never even noticed by the women who worked there. Until one day, he found his wedding ring and wore it again (he was going through a divorce) and hey presto, suddenly all the women's interest was piqued. That is just one example of many.

I agree, however, some will view the married man as 'oooh well he's obviously worth having, what am I missing out on here?' It's true. I've seen it happen. A guy I had a relationship with where I used to work, was scrawny and had bad acne and was never even noticed by the women who worked there. Until one day, he found his wedding ring and wore it again (he was going through a divorce) and hey presto, suddenly all the women's interest was piqued. That is just one example of many.

I have, in my darker moments, considered wearing my wedding ring again, in the vain hope of stirring up interest, but it would be a lie, and I'm not just after a quickie, you cant base anything real on such shallow foundations.

WOw... there are some very bitter people on here :(

I agree, however, some will view the married man as 'oooh well he's obviously worth having, what am I missing out on here?' It's true. I've seen it happen. A guy I had a relationship with where I used to work, was scrawny and had bad acne and was never even noticed by the women who worked there. Until one day, he found his wedding ring and wore it again (he was going through a divorce) and hey presto, suddenly all the women's interest was piqued. That is just one example of many.


True, i allways notice a lot more attention when going out with someone.
And like wise when i get chatting to a lass, they ask are you single.. yeah. cue spanish inquisition/ 20 questions why this why that etc :confused:

same with female mates, cant understand why your single Ian nice lad etc etc
Its as if you must be abnormal in some way or something just because you have'nt met anyone .

Hey ho :)

I think, like a number of other posters, that the onus of responsibility lies with the married person in question. Whether someone comes onto them or not, they ought to be the one to say 'I'm very flattered, but I have a wife/gf and don't think it's appropriate for me to be engaging in this kind of conversation with you.'

As far as female solidarity goes, I think it's very much an ideal of feminist mythology. Much in the same way that male solidarity is too. We all have our allegiences, typically to our families and close friends, but outside of these groups we tend to put our own interests first and foremost.

True, i allways notice a lot more attention when going out with someone.
And like wise when i get chatting to a lass, they ask are you single.. yeah. cue spanish inquisition/ 20 questions why this why that etc :confused:

same with female mates, cant understand why your single Ian nice lad etc etc
Its as if you must be abnormal in some way or something just because you have'nt met anyone .

Hey ho :)

I think there's also an aura of confidence and a certain vibe one exudes when they're happily ensconced in a relationship, which ironically acts like a magnet to members of the same or opposite sex, depending upon your sexuality.

If I was in the situation where my partner had flirted/cheated with somebody else, I would blame the partner. They were the ones to make promises, and they would be the one I would hold accountable.

Otherwise I'd feel I was playing into my partner's hands by accepting a weak excuse like "....but she was all over me..."/"....but I couldn't help myself..." etc etc.

If I was in the situation where my partner had flirted/cheated with somebody else, I would blame the partner. They were the ones to make promises, and they would be the one I would hold accountable.

Otherwise I'd feel I was playing into my partner's hands by accepting a weak excuse like "....but she was all over me..."/"....but I couldn't help myself..." etc etc.

My husband is the person I trust above all others, and I believe he feels the same about me. However, he knows that were he ever to attempt feed me a crock of ***** like the above, he would be wearing the frying pan about his neck for a long, long time. Also, he would never, ever have sex again. Maybe that's why he's so well-behaved. ;)

If I was in the situation where my partner had flirted/cheated with somebody else, I would blame the partner. They were the ones to make promises, and they would be the one I would hold accountable.

Otherwise I'd feel I was playing into my partner's hands by accepting a weak excuse like "....but she was all over me..."/"....but I couldn't help myself..." etc etc.

And what would 'holding accountable' mean for someone who flirted?

There's a serious level of paranoia/possessiveness going on in this thread.
Flirting is harmless, it confirms to people that they are still somewhat attractive to the opposite sex.

http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?t=275036&highlight=flirt

A whole thread of people admitting that they flirt.

And what would 'holding accountable' mean for someone who flirted?


In view of the OP, the point I was making was that I would hold my partner accountable as apposed to the third party who I didn't know, if I felt flirting had overstepped the mark.

In view of the OP, the point I was making was that I would hold my partner accountable as apposed to the third party who I didn't know, if I felt flirting had overstepped the mark.

I agree with that.

I think the key problem here is that there was more than flirting going on if explicit emails were sent, rather that flirty bits of sentences in work emails. Also, the fact that this person was caught out being flirty/suggestive etc is the problem.

In view of the OP, the point I was making was that I would hold my partner accountable as apposed to the third party who I didn't know, if I felt flirting had overstepped the mark.

Which I did, and he was wrong, admitted he was wrong and apolagised for the way he'd behaved.

My point was, why do women think its ok to behave like this with someone elses husband? I don't think it is, I don't behave like that. But others do, obviously.

Which I did, and he was wrong, admitted he was wrong and apolagised for the way he'd behaved.

My point was, why do women think its ok to behave like this with someone elses husband? I don't think it is, I don't behave like that. But others do, obviously.

I don't know whether women think it is okay to flirt with other women's partners (presuming, of course, they know that the man is with someone), or whether it's just something that seems to happen naturally in the work place. I think there is always going to be a little bit of lighthearted flirting at work, regardless of marital status. It's when it oversteps the line it becomes an issue.

As far as the older men/younger women thing, I think there is and will always be an attraction of older men to younger women and vice versa. It may be something biological/chemical.... I dunno.

My point was, why do women think its ok to behave like this with someone elses husband? I don't think it is, I don't behave like that. But others do, obviously.

I don't know, but I would be more concerned with my husband's behaviour, if I had one, and wouldn't really care what had motivated the other woman. I'm not saying it's right, or wrong, to flirt with a man who is spoken for. But I've noticed quite a few men "get away with it" by blaming the other woman, and sometimes the wife ends up accepting that. But I wouldn't accept that as I would feel like it was playing right into my (hypothetical) husband's hands. I wouldn't be played. If they went too far, they'd be shown the door, whether they thought they'd been "lead on" or not.

My point was, why do women think its ok to behave like this with someone elses husband? I don't think it is, I don't behave like that. But others do, obviously.


..it's only some women of a certain personality, just as it's only some men who would instigate or choose to respond to such behaviour.

I don't think it's exclusively women that behave flirtatiously or see married people as a challenge.

No you didn't, that was StarSparkles gloomy assessment :hihi:

Sigh - yes, you're right, KTB, I said it. Well done. What does it really matter who said it?

It's simply the truth - but if you want to look at the world through rose-tinted specs, that's up to you. There is no such thing as sisterhood except perhaps amongst small groups of very right-on women like yourself. MOST women are not like you at all. You and your friends are the unusual ones.

Personally, I admire Strix's attitude here, and my attitude is very much the same as hers. But we're not typical of womankind either! :) I think Strix and I both find it very much easier to relate to/understand men than women.

StarSparkle

I don't know, but I would be more concerned with my husband's behaviour, if I had one, and wouldn't really care what had motivated the other woman. I'm not saying it's right, or wrong, to flirt with a man who is spoken for. But I've noticed quite a few men "get away with it" by blaming the other woman, and sometimes the wife ends up accepting that. But I wouldn't accept that as I would feel like it was playing right into my (hypothetical) husband's hands. I wouldn't be played. If they went too far, they'd be shown the door, whether they thought they'd been "lead on" or not.

I agree. There has always been a tendency to blame the other woman as if the man had no say whatsoever in the role he played. He gets away scot free and the woman in question is called everything from harlot, slag, slapper, whore, home wrecker etc etc. There have always been doyble standards and there always will be.:mad:

Scoop - I think Strix outlined the reasons why some women 'go for/respond to' married men. If I were you, I wouldn't even try to understand why this woman flirted with your husband, the fact is that it happened, he's been caught and is nw, I assume suitably contrite.

However, I would like to clarify exactly what you meant by flirting and suggestive texts. And is he still going to working within close proximity with her on a daily basis?

..it's only some women of a certain personality, just as it's only some men who would instigate or choose to respond to such behaviour.

I don't think it's exclusively women that behave flirtatiously or see married people as a challenge.

Yes, some men definitely do it as well. I've had occasions where I've been asked out by a man I'm not interested in, told him I'm married cos it's easier than saying I don't fancy him, but it's made them even keener. :confused:

Maybe it's the perception of a challenge?

Why is flirting at work inevitable? Surely people have gone beyond the playground stage and can get along with the opposite sex without hinting at wanting to play hide the sausage? :huh:

Why is flirting at work inevitable? Surely people have gone beyond the playground stage and can get along with the opposite sex without hinting at wanting to play hide the sausage? :huh:

I don't know, I'm bemused by this too. I don't flirt with anyone at work. I never have done, well apart from the 2 times I got involved with men I worked with.

Maybe they are single because they have'nt met anyone they want to be with in that way, not because they have anything wrong with them.

Most of my mates who are single are better catches than the ones in relationships.Then again i think a lot of people get together out of convineince or fear of been lonley, personally i would rather be on my todd than in relationship just for the sake of it...... plus i am not a very good catch :( :P

p.s strix I havent forgot about the dog poster thing, i shall be in touch when i am feeling a bit better mate :)Oh you know that and I know that Ian, but from the perspective of somebody screwy enough in the head to prey on spoken-for blokes, it's a different kettle of fish

get your name on Sezbetz's list for the posters :thumbsup:

Scoop - let me show you how you can add Cyclone to your 'ignore list' :thumbsup:

Personally, I admire Strix's attitude here, and my attitude is very much the same as hers. But we're not typical of womankind either! :) I think Strix and I both find it very much easier to relate to/understand men than womenWhich bit of my attitude in particular? The bit where I turned down advances or my general one of not feeling it necessary to bind myself to other women in a 'sisterhood' which leaves you vulnerable to back stabbing?

There's a lot to be said for people who are capable of standing up for their principles, but how many of those do you know, and could you do it yourself?

Perhaps we need a new thread for this one!

Why should women feel obliged to be 'sisterly' when men never come under scrutiny for their lack of brotherly kindness outside the religious sphere?

I guess "sisterly" was the wrong term.

For me it's about having respect for other people generally, and not doing things that you know will cause upset or pain to others.
Should it really matter if you do or don't know the person involved, you know of their existance, and you know what you are doing will be upsetting for them. Surely thats wrong?

Like men, some women respect other people and some don't. I don't think gender comes into it much.

Anyway, I'm off out now. Thank you everyone for your thoughts, it's been most interesting.

I guess "sisterly" was the wrong term.

For me it's about having respect for other people generally, and not doing things that you know will cause upset or pain to others.
Should it really matter if you do or don't know the person involved, you know of their existance, and you know what you are doing will be upsetting for them. Surely thats wrong?

It should be deemed wrong, but this is the sort of thing we do every day when we buy things from companies like Primark knowing they're made by little kids in horrible factories or when we take job promotions knowing others have worked in a company for longer or need the money more than ourselves.

People tend to work to the idea of not hurting the people they know and care for first and foremost.

It should be deemed wrong, but this is the sort of thing we do every day when we buy things from companies like Primark knowing they're made by little kids in horrible factories or when we take job promotions knowing others have worked in a company for longer or need the money more than ourselves.

People tend to work to the idea of not hurting the people they know and care for first and foremost.

Have you been on my knickers thread :suspect: I didn't buy the knickers honest:hihi:

Good point, though.

Anyway, I'm off out now. Thank you everyone for your thoughts, it's been most interesting.:wave: I hope you find somebody nice to flirt with :thumbsup:

:wave: I hope you find somebody nice to flirt with :thumbsup:

Eerm....better not, had I?

I guess "sisterly" was the wrong term.

For me it's about having respect for other people generally, and not doing things that you know will cause upset or pain to others.
Should it really matter if you do or don't know the person involved, you know of their existance, and you know what you are doing will be upsetting for them. Surely thats wrong?

I think, for me, it's the fact I would find the betrayal of the person who had made me promises (of fidelity) more wrong. Some people take full advantage of the fact their betrayed partner will blame the third party more (for various reasons) and use it as a 'get out' clause. Unfortunately, I think as long as people can use this excuse to wriggle out of wrongdoing they will. And if they've got away with it once....

Anyway, talk amongst yourselves. I shall come back to this later, drunken (I'll probably divulge all the sordid details with half a lager inside me):wave:

Anyway, talk amongst yourselves. I shall come back to this later, drunken (I'll probably divulge all the sordid details with half a lager inside me):wave:

Have one for me while youre at it !:rolleyes:

I don't know, I'm bemused by this too. I don't flirt with anyone at work. I never have done, well apart from the 2 times I got involved with men I worked with.

I don't actually see that much of it going on. If there is any, it's always a certain 'type' who indulges. There are other less 'silly' people who 'flirt' but they tend to be people actually having serious affairs.

Eerm....better not, had I?Well why not? It sounds like you could do with your self confidence lifting a little after this nonsense, and if your bloke thinks it's okay, then it's okay... isn't it?

or is that the crux of the matter? anybody who behaves in this fashion is invariably possessive of their partner

My adulterous father had the audacity to interrogate my mother over the one day a week she insists on getting out of the house to keep her sanity. Whenever she's not at his constant beck and call, he's hunting her down

I shall come back to this later, drunken (I'll probably divulge all the sordid details with half a lager inside me):wave:

Hmm...Scoop or Jonathan Ross??! I'll be back for the next gripping instalment! :hihi:

I don't actually see that much of it going on. If there is any, it's always a certain 'type' who indulges. There are other less 'silly' people who 'flirt' but they tend to be people actually having serious affairs.

Some people indulge in a bit of banter because it can make a difficult job a bit more bearable. I don't think there's any "type", for most people it is just a bit of harmless fun which no-one takes seriously or wants to go any further.

I suppose it depends whether is is jokey flirting (plenty of which I see on the forum), or whether you're actually trying to get into someone's pants. I've never done the latter at work, or with anyone I knew had a partner. But I do and see a bit of the former and don't see anything wrong with it. Nor would I be upset if I found out my partner was doing it. Because I know it doesn't have to mean anything.

Some people indulge in a bit of banter because it can make a difficult job a bit more bearable. I don't think there's any "type", for most people it is just a bit of harmless fun which no-one takes seriously or wants to go any further.

I suppose it depends whether is is jokey flirting (plenty of which I see on the forum), or whether you're actually trying to get into someone's pants. I've never done the latter at work, or with anyone I knew had a partner. But I do and see a bit of the former and don't see anything wrong with it. Nor would I be upset if I found out my partner was doing it. Because I know it doesn't have to mean anything.

That's interesting, I worked with someone who whenever sigining off an email would automatically append a 'x 'to her signature.

For a time I would respond lifewise, as it just seemed chummy, but on reflection decided to stop doing it and felt a bit daft for reading too much into it, but within a week she had done the same, making me think it was a conscious effort on her part after all..but she carried on doing it with other people, so I don't think I was anything particularly 'special'!

Us younger women clearly just intentionally go out of our way to target married men.... purely for the sport, of course.

That's interesting, I worked with someone who whenever sigining off an email would automatically append a 'x 'to her signature.

For a time I would respond lifewise, as it just seemed chummy, but on reflection decided to stop doing it and felt a bit daft for reading too much into it, but within a week she had done the same, making me think it was a conscious effort on her part after all..but she carried on doing it with other people, so I don't think I was anything particularly 'special'!

It's a minefield isn't it! :hihi: Sometimes I think people worry too much about this stuff.

If she was doing the same with everyone I wouldn't read too much into it... perhaps you really offended her by not signing with a (completely platonic) kiss in return! :)

That's interesting, I worked with someone who whenever sigining off an email would automatically append a 'x 'to her signature.that is plain inappropriate in a work setting

mind you, there are outfits women turn up to work in which are plain inappropriate too

maybe it's about time employers clamped down on this kind of inappropriate behaviour full stop? for starters, what is the legal position of the company if somebody cries sexual harassment?

... perhaps you really offended her by not signing with a (completely platonic) kiss in return! :)

..or it may have been the pic I sent her of my bum on the photocopier! :hihi:

that is plain inappropriate in a work setting

mind you, there are outfits women turn up to work in which are plain inappropriate too

maybe it's about time employers clamped down on this kind of inappropriate behaviour full stop? for starters, what is the legal position of the company if somebody cries sexual harassment?

It may be immature and a little unprofessional in a work setting to end an email with a 'x', but it's hardly offensive!

I didn't say it was offensive, I said it was inappropriate - there IS a difference :suspect:

this is the problem with immature girls - they have no idea what is or isn't acceptable, or why

is this because we don't dare to instill them with any form of morals these days, or school them in the implications of their actions?

what would anybody think if they received a letter from their bank signed '-X-Amy-X-' ?

..or it may have been the pic I sent her of my bum on the photocopier! :hihi:

Stop flirting BF, people will talk! :nono: :hihi:

I didn't say it was offensive, I said it was inappropriate - there IS a difference :suspect:

this is the problem with immature girls - they have no idea what is or isn't acceptable, or why

is this because we don't dare to instill them with any form of morals these days, or school them in the implications of their actions?

what would anybody think if they received a letter from their bank signed '-X-Amy-X-' ?

I agree, it's totally inappropriate and what kind of message is it sending out? If Boy Friday were a different sort of guy, he could have jumped on her thinking it was some sort of come on.

If Boy Friday were a different sort of guy, he could have jumped on her thinking it was some sort of come on.
Oh darn it, you dont know her do you? I wont confess, I wont! :lol:

I didn't say it was offensive, I said it was inappropriate - there IS a difference :suspect:

this is the problem with immature girls - they have no idea what is or isn't acceptable, or why

is this because we don't dare to instill them with any form of morals these days, or school them in the implications of their actions?

Ironically strix, the woman in my case was a middle manager in her late 30's.

I didn't say it was offensive, I said it was inappropriate - there IS a difference :suspect:

this is the problem with immature girls - they have no idea what is or isn't acceptable, or why

is this because we don't dare to instill them with any form of morals these days, or school them in the implications of their actions?

what would anybody think if they received a letter from their bank signed '-X-Amy-X-' ?

That's a bit strong.

I think it depends, workplaces vary massively in how formally/ informally people communicate. I rarely sign even personal correspondance with kisses so I certainly wouldn't do it at work. But I've worked with colleagues and bosses, both male and female, who have signed emails etc with a kiss at the end and I think the chances of it being misinterpreted are slim. Especially when they do it with everyone as a matter of course! Personally I find it a bit sickly but I don't recall anyone seeing it as a come-on, or inappropriate. And as in BF's case, none of them were silly little girls.

But that is probably a different thread!

Ironically strix, the woman in my case was a middle manager in her late 30's.Which falls in about right with the time the education system fell to bits :rolleyes:

That's a bit strong.

I think it depends, workplaces vary massively in how formally/ informally people communicate. I rarely sign even personal correspondance with kisses so I certainly wouldn't do it at work. But I've worked with colleagues and bosses, both male and female, who have signed emails etc with a kiss at the end and I think the chances of it being misinterpreted are slim. Especially when they do it with everyone as a matter of course! Personally I find it a bit sickly but I don't recall anyone seeing it as a come-on, or inappropriate. And as in BF's case, none of them were silly little girls.

But that is probably a different thread!
It's just an extension of my biggest workplace gripe. I blame windows for this one though: MY Computer, MY Desktop, and an annoying habit of creating email addresses for people rather than roles, has led people to treat work property as their own, and take a much more casual attitude to correspondence

We have different forms of address and communication with different people for reasons

If the large bloke with a hygiene problem from the office downstairs who never speaks to anybody else was sending out all his emails to people signed with a kiss, how would colleagues feel about that?

that is plain inappropriate in a work setting

mind you, there are outfits women turn up to work in which are plain inappropriate too

maybe it's about time employers clamped down on this kind of inappropriate behaviour full stop? for starters, what is the legal position of the company if somebody cries sexual harassment?

The amount of times I have wanted to take one of our younger female employees aside and tell them "Look, you're dressed in a completely inappropriate way for this environment. You look like a Vietnamese prostitute which is entirely unsuitable.".

They just don't get it but I assure you that if I or anyone else did then we'd be had up for bullying or some such rubbish.

Which falls in about right with the time the education system fell to bits :rolleyes:


It's just an extension of my biggest workplace gripe. I blame windows for this one though: MY Computer, MY Desktop, and an annoying habit of creating email addresses for people rather than roles, has led people to treat work property as their own, and take a much more casual attitude to correspondence

We have different forms of address and communication with different people for reasons

If the large bloke with a hygiene problem from the office downstairs who never speaks to anybody else was sending out all his emails to people signed with a kiss, how would colleagues feel about that?

To be honest, I don't think I'd care, if that's all it was- but if he was particularly singling me out, or was acting too familiar in other ways then I'd have to have words. From a distance! :hihi: But then I probably have too thick a skin sometimes.

I think you're right that standards are dropping generally, partly as a result of the education system- I have my own gripes about the standard of spelling and punctuation in formal correspondence. :rant:

But we're going waaaaaaaaaay off topic here.

I cannot understand young single women flirting with older married men. Theres plenty of gorgeous single guys out there ! :thumbsup:

Strix you seem to have some personal issues around this subject.

You want work places to 'stamp out' the practice of some people putting x at the bottom of an internal email. I think you're taking it a little too seriously to be honest.

Most people flirt a little, it's harmless, trying to 'stamp it out' in case someone cries sexual harassment (and that happens how often?) is a massive over reaction to perfectly normal behaviour.

Which falls in about right with the time the education system fell to bits :rolleyes:


It's just an extension of my biggest workplace gripe. I blame windows for this one though: MY Computer, MY Desktop, and an annoying habit of creating email addresses for people rather than roles, has led people to treat work property as their own, and take a much more casual attitude to correspondence

We have different forms of address and communication with different people for reasons

If the large bloke with a hygiene problem from the office downstairs who never speaks to anybody else was sending out all his emails to people signed with a kiss, how would colleagues feel about that?

I'm with you on this Strix, it's ludicrous signing emails to colleagues with a x. I've never heard anything like it and I certainly don't work in a stuffy, formal environment. There's no way that we'd have sent memos to colleagues signed with a x, so why on earth do it on an email? :loopy:

Strix you seem to have some personal issues around this subject.

You want work places to 'stamp out' the practice of some people putting x at the bottom of an internal email. I think you're taking it a little too seriously to be honest.

Most people flirt a little, it's harmless, trying to 'stamp it out' in case someone cries sexual harassment (and that happens how often?) is a massive over reaction to perfectly normal behaviour.

Well, it's certainly not a practice I've ever come across. Whatever next, a round of air cheek kissing when going into a meeting?

so basically we've established that if you're female and cute you can do as you please and flutter your eyelashes?

Cyclone - stop over simplifying things. The dumb blonde image doesn't suit you :rolleyes:

Well, it's certainly not a practice I've ever come across. Whatever next, a round of air cheek kissing when going into a meeting?

I didn't say that it was normal practice, I said that it's not a big deal.

Strix I didn't oversimplify anything. I just pointed out that you seem to be taking the idea of someone flirting (in the workplace or not) as a personal insult.
It's not, it's normal behaviour. Maybe not for you, but you're not the ultimate arbiter of normal AFAIK, so you don't need to make such a big deal about it.
From what I've read from the OP, what they were talking about goes way beyond flirting, hence my objection to the way they used the term and abused it to form a new type of relationship.
Flirting is harmless, nearly meaningless behaviour that most people do naturally. Sending explicit texts and emails is more like having an emotional affair, and then probably only on the way to the physical thing.

Well, it's certainly not a practice I've ever come across. Whatever next, a round of air cheek kissing when going into a meeting?

You must be thinking about meetings with PR and Marketing people. I go to techie meetings, it's more likely to be a comparison of PC spec and chat about the latest online game.

so basically we've established that if you're female and cute you can do as you please and flutter your eyelashes?
:

The awful thing is that it works every time.

I know that it sounds bad but you can get away with everything just shy of genocide it you pout, flutter and push your chest out.

I didn't say that it was normal practice, I said that it's not a big deal.

Strix I didn't oversimplify anything. I just pointed out that you seem to be taking the idea of someone flirting (in the workplace or not) as a personal insult.
It's not, it's normal behaviour. Maybe not for you, but you're not the ultimate arbiter of normal AFAIK, so you don't need to make such a big deal about it.
From what I've read from the OP, what they were talking about goes way beyond flirting, hence my objection to the way they used the term and abused it to form a new type of relationship.
Flirting is harmless, nearly meaningless behaviour that most people do naturally. Sending explicit texts and emails is more like having an emotional affair, and then probably only on the way to the physical thing.

I'd agree with this. But Cyclone has typed it much more articulately than I could. :)

The awful thing is that it works every time.

I know that it sounds bad but you can get away with everything just shy of genocide it you pout, flutter and push your chest out.

Speaking from personal experience, are you??? :hihi:

Strix I didn't oversimplify anything. Yes you did. I was using the example of signing emails with kisses as an example of the kind of thing which oversteps the mark

shoving this kind of behaviour at everybody in the office creates a non-professional/holiday atmosphere which leads to lack of attention to the actual job

I have no problem with office flirting, but I do have a problem with lack of appropriate guidelines, practices and dresscode

Speaking from personal experience, are you??? :hihi:

Pretty much. When I was a younger pup it was an assured tactic ...... Nowadays I'm far more cynical.

"SV, Can you devote the rest of your working day to helping me out and thus leaving you behind in your own work which I'm really not bothered about as long as I'm OK?"

"Not a snowball's chance in Hell."

*Pouts, pushes out titties and flutters eyelashes*

"Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

"**** off."

:D

Pretty much. When I was a younger pup it was an assured tactic ...... Nowadays I'm far more cynical.

"SV, Can you devote the rest of your working day to helping me out and thus leaving you behind in your own work which I'm really not bothered about as long as I'm OK?"pou

"Not a snowball's chance in Hell."

*Pouts, pushes out titties and flutters eyelashes*

"Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

"**** off."

:D

I obviously wasn't being very clear - I meant that you had done the pouting, fluttering and chest-pushing out in your younger days!! :hihi:

I obviously wasn't being very clear - I meant that you had done the pouting, fluttering and chest-pushing out in your younger days!! :hihi:

My God I wish!

If I exerted that level of control I'd have used it for far more nefarious purposes than getting work done :hihi:

I obviously wasn't being very clear - I meant that you had done the pouting, fluttering and chest-pushing out in your younger days!! :hihi:

Who hasnt !:rolleyes:

Who hasnt !:rolleyes:

I haven't, not ever. I wouldn't dream of behaving like that in the workplace.

I haven't, not ever. I wouldn't dream of behaving like that in the workplace.

Nor I. Not as long as I have respect for myself and expect respect from my colleagues.

Nor I. Not as long as I have respect for myself and expect respect from my colleagues.

Nor I. Hence my surprise.

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely

'Punished'?

Are you married to Howard from Last of the Summer Wine?

that is plain inappropriate in a work setting

mind you, there are outfits women turn up to work in which are plain inappropriate too

maybe it's about time employers clamped down on this kind of inappropriate behaviour full stop? for starters, what is the legal position of the company if somebody cries sexual harassment?

I feel like I have stepped on to the set of Carry On Girls. The concept that a work place could be filled with women in knee length boots surrounded by lecherous Peter Butterworth type figures getting hot under the collar is really quite endearing.

Incidentally, I have never understood the concept of sexual harassment in the workplace. If truth be known, it is only harassment a) if you don't fancy the perpetrator, or b) if you do fancy them but they have blown you out.

I feel like I have stepped on to the set of Carry On Girls. The concept that a work place could be filled with women in knee length boots surrounded by lecherous Peter Butterworth type figures getting hot under the collar is really quite endearing.

Incidentally, I have never understood the concept of sexual harassment in the workplace. If truth be known, it is only harassment a) if you don't fancy the perpetrator, or b) if you do fancy them but they have blown you out.

I think it's all been blown a little out of proportion here, but there are also some serious sexual harassment cases too when people are attacked/bullied/made excessively uncomfortable or worse.

Anyway, the crux of the issue is (as I am finding out). Young women throwing themselves at men who are having a midlife crisis is not a very good combination, though usually it is the wife who will be most hurt in this situation.

Recently, my friend and I (both in mid thirties) have both had the experience of finding out that our husbands (one late thirties, one early forties), were having quite full on flirt relationships with a women in their (seperate) workplaces.

In both instances the woman involved was younger by 10 -15 years.

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?

any jobs going at their place ?.

They're trollops with no brains between their ears and loose knees. They see these older blokes as good 'practice' runs for next time they're in a bar on Eccy Rd, all tangoed up, and see that footballer they really want to pull. The sad thing is the men think these trollops fancy them but they don't unless he has a house in Whirlow and a Porsche.


hi i like men older me, im 27 and would go up to a 40 year old lol but id neverrrrrrrrrrrrrr go for a married man.
it dont make you a trollop if you like older men hun its just the trollops that go for the married ones x

These women have no morals then! ;)

Yes, I am harsh. Also, I know that it is all too easy to be there in that situation, but ultimately, the woman has to have very strong self control to understand, comprehend that this is not what it is. i.e. a potential partner and relationship. It is like being fluffed by someone and never actually will end up in a relationship with them. Why do women go through this process? If I was a very good friend of these females, I'd drag them away, or at least give them a good kick up the bum. Saying that, I do only befriend females with a decent set of moral values. :P

I detest people using flirting techniques to boost someone's morale up. What an excuse.

To me, it is very distinctive the differences between:
1) making someone feel better, make them smile and boost their morale
2) flirting with sexual intent
3) being respectful to one's partner

Maybe only men see that flirting boost one's morale, or other. For me, I make my female friends happier by listening to them, and just letting them release their own frustrations. Even in the past, some men just merely said a "cheer up, luv", would've made my day.

If the women in questions were flirting full on, then I don't think that they considered the wives' feelings at all. Nor do they care to be honest. I've seen girls who have done this before, only to find themselves feeling really embarrassed when the OH came to the company's social functions as well. Why put yourself through that kind of emotional rollercoasters?

What I find odd is that, it is only in the UK do you flirt supposedly without intent, and supposed only for "social civilities". Is this what supposed sexual liberation had turned this country into?

I remember being outraged when one guy thought that our regular social function allowed him to smack my bottom in front of his partner when she was pregnant and stood next to me! I gave him a VERY dirty stare. Who the heck does he think he is? To me, there is a very strong line between friendship and relationship....

Years ago i was in a relationship. where my partner (at the time) openly flirted, not with all women but the ones that caught his eye while i was there, also when he was speaking to me he wouldnt look me in the eye, shifty eyed i called it. When we went out he would blatenly look at other women, which to me showed a total lack of respect, not to be trusted i thought, thats why i dumped him.

For Gods sake get over it, there just texts and flirts have they actually made sexual contact,, If not rap there knuckles and move on.

For Gods sake get over it, there just texts and flirts have they actually made sexual contact,, If not rap there knuckles and move on.
I think that is not the point. If that is the point, then why would the OP not get upset, right? I think for some people, being with a partner means being respectful, and loyal, and all the rest of it.

Some people don't think before they act. I think if you did consider your partners' feeling, then maybe you will act differenty, no ? Nobody likes to nag.

I think that is not the point. If that is the point, then why would the OP not get upset, right? I think for some people, being with a partner means being respectful, and loyal, and all the rest of it.

Some people don't think before they act. I think if you did consider your partners' feeling, then maybe you will act differenty, no ? Nobody likes to nag.

I understand your point Bago but its not the end of the world is it.
After all the authur of this thread said it was innocent flirting and text messages.
Scoop said they have been "severely punished" but does not say how severe, did they divorce them, kick em out or what.
I'm not saying the husbands are martars but like I said just have a big talk to them tell them what they could miss out of and then move on.
Husbands are allowed female friends maybe it just went a little bit more than that through saucy texting, just ask him to change his phone number and then it should all blow away.

For the record, single men are renowned for messing about with other women and single women know that her married "lover" although not in this case will not.

I understand your point Bago but its not the end of the world is it.
After all the authur of this thread said it was innocent flirting and text messages.
Scoop said they have been "severely punished" but does not say how severe, did they divorce them, kick em out or what.
I'm not saying the husbands are martars but like I said just have a big talk to them tell them what they could miss out of and then move on.
Husbands are allowed female friends maybe it just went a little bit more than that through saucy texting, just ask him to change his phone number and then it should all blow away.

For the record, single men are renowned for messing about with other women and single women know that her married "lover" although not in this case will not.
You know, I have come across a comment once by another poster saying that "once a player, always a player". I now understand why she said that and what she meant by that.

I don't know about you, but from reading the thread that she posted. Alarm bells will ring in my head. Even though I am not her friend, I really do emphasize. If I was in her shoes, I too would be upset, and it brings up the question of whether the partner is as loyal as I thought he was when we got married.

You just act like it is a small issue, but to a woman who is married, then this is a big issue. I am sorry.. but it is. Also, what I don't understand is how others can play down this kind of flirting. As if the true action will never happen. Well, because of this kind of "play"... some women would be driven to be 1) b!tchy, 2), neurotic, and 3) suicidal. Yup!

It always take two to tango. Even my ex were a little bit like that, but at least he respected me, as I respected him when we dated. I think he ditched most of his female friends when we did. I also told off another male friend of mine of our contact. So now, we remain very "civil" in our communication. Or unless we know each others' partners etc and can take this kind of communication. Otherwise, it is really asking for trouble.