Kissing your Grandma goodbye & she slips you the tongue :gag:

Coming home drunk with the munchies, you've taken your contacts lenses off, not bothered putting yr gigs back on. Start eating a kitkat, drop a bit, pick it up off the floor and find that it's a woodlice you've just chomped on. uuurrrrggghhhh :gag:

Steady on, I've only just got up! I really hope these statements are not based upon truth! :gag:

:blush: to my eternal shame :blush: serves me right for being a greedy pig :blush:

Our cat had a habit of bringing leaves into the house, I went to pick up yet another leaf off the sofa and yuk, got slime on my hand, it was a chewed up big fat slug :gag:

A friend of mine (mm?) once got offered some chocolate off her partner and because her hands were full she just opened her mouth to gratefully recieve it, at which point he put in her mouth the skin off a blister on his foot!! Worst bit is she didn't realize for a few seconds and chewed!!
Still makes me want to barf everytime i think of that.:gag:

When I was a teenager, I was hanging out in Richmond Park with some mates, it was shortly after Christmas time and one of them had brought a seemingly endless supply of Christmas cake. Throughout the day we kept munching away on bits of it.

Later, when it had got dark, he said to me "Dan, do you want some more Christmas cake?" I thought it had all gone, but greed triumphed over sense so I accepted the offer. Grabbed some of the dark mass from his hand and stuffed it into my mouth, only to discover it was actually a load of soil and gravel off the floor. I'm just glad he didn't include any deer-**** (actually, come to think of it he may well have done).

Worst thing in the World? Sharing a romantic Jaccuzzi with your boyfriend sitting opposite eachother bit cramped so bums touching - he then farts creating more bubbles that omit a vile stench when popped and a loud echo rattles around the bathroom :gag:

Romantic mood quickly destroyed!!!

Walking downstairs in the middle of the night, bare footed and without contact lenses, and treading in a big pile of cat sick :mad: :roll:

Leaving a can of fizzy drink on your bedside cabinet when you go out. Coming back having had a little too much wine and taking a sip. It's full of ants that have drowned.

Not from personal experience obviously....

the beer enema on dirty sanchez...and what followed :gag:

on a more personal level....a friend of mine was throwing sweets across the office for another lad to catch in his mouth. then he decided to throw a big ball of glue instead....after a few chews the lad relised what was going on...yuch!

Being offered a Brazil Nut from an old lady with rotten teeth only to discover later that she was sucking all the chocolate off them first before offering them to people. :gag:

I went to throw a bag of rubbish into one of the huge bins in the basement of my building yesterday, and at the same time I gently lobbed my keys in there as well :roll: It took over an hour of climbing up on the edge of the bin and poking my trapped keys with a broom until I - finally - managed to hook them out. They still smell a bit like rancid milk :(

Eating a bit of (what you thought was) melted chocolate out of your front dungaree pocket and then realising that is where you put your 'pet' spider before participating in a pile on.

Finding that expensive peice of 'special' cheese thats been shuvved to the back of the fridge - untouched - has gone mouldy...

Deciding to finely chop it up for the birds....

Discovering a black curly 1" hair inside it! :gag: :gag: :gag:

Yes - I was that soldier! :o

My friend digs out the BIGGEST bogeys I've ever seen in my life. He got one out, rolled it up (roughly the same size as a pea), and when his brother yawned.. Guessed where the bogey went?

Originally posted by Don_Kiddick
Finding that expensive peice of 'special' cheese thats been shuvved to the back of the fridge - untouched - has gone mouldy...

Deciding to finely chop it up for the birds....

Discovering a black curly 1" hair inside it! :gag: :gag: :gag:

Yes - I was that soldier! :o

Oh DK this reminds me on an experience I had last week :gag: I was happily munching into a snack box of black and green olives with feta cheese .... yummy!!! Got to the last of the olives and cube of feta ... almost was in my mouth when I noticed a black, short, curly hair!!!! OMG :gag: :gag: :gag: Even the thought of it now makes my stomach heave :(

The worst thing is when women do not properly wrap up and dispose of their sanitary towels/tampons in the ladies toilets. It makes me feel really really sick and so so sorry for the poor dear cleaners!

Originally posted by kathythebean
The worst thing is when women do not properly wrap up and dispose of their sanitary towels/tampons in the ladies toilets. It makes me feel really really sick and so so sorry for the poor dear cleaners!

Ever seen the male toilets of a busy bar/nightclub?

Usually the whole toilet is at least 1 inch deep in pee.. and someone even crapped in the urinal the other day!

Originally posted by GazB
Ever seen the male toilets of a busy bar/nightclub?

Usually the whole toilet is at least 1 inch deep in pee.. and someone even crapped in the urinal the other day!

Yes unfortunately I have! I used to collect glasses and there was always some w****r who thought it'd be clever to put a pint glass in the urinal!! Festivals are the worst...yuk...just don't look down :(

The worst thing I can think of was driving home in a hurry from manchester with a stomach ache, only to find out it was too late and 1.5 miles from home having an attack of diarrhoea.

The next worse thing after that was taking my trousers off in the bath.