Hi,

As the title says for some reason Babybell seems to have turned into Frank Bruno over the last week. She is 2 next month. She seems to be constantly hitting her cousin, who she spends a lot of time with. I even caught her trying to bite her arm yesterday but stopped her before she actually managed it. They were tussling over a toy at the time, both tugging at it.

I think with her cousin it is probably a bit of jealousy but she has done it to other kids a couple of times.

I have tried to be stern with her & bent down to tell her off but she just turned straight round & hit her again. Like it was a game. To my eternal shame I smacked her hand for that one. I don't even know why as I am very anti smacking & have never hit any of the kids. Anyway it didn't work & I won't do it again.

All I do at the moment is pick her up & move her away from what has happened & tell her off as much as you can at her age (bending down, saying no & being stern etc). She knows its wrong as will go up & hug and kiss whoever she has hit but she will still do it again.

Any idea's or other tips on what to do? She loves rough & tumble with her older brother & sisters so I have asked them to try & calm that down a bit as I think that just enourages her.

With my foster daughter, I started time out when she was just coming up to 2 - 2 minutes on the floor near you is fine or on the bottom step if you want - it's never too early to learn. Just be very calm about it, remove her from the situation, tell her what she has done wrong and then let her sit for 2 minutes - if she won't sit, sit with her on your knee looking the other way, no eye contact, no talking for the 2 minutes.

Sounds very super nanny-ish but it does work - I also use the term oh-oh when i am putting her in time out which has progressed so that if I say oh-oh, she often stops what she is doing eg in a tumbletots class when all the kiddies where running away from mums everywhere, my little one ran off, I just uttered "oh-oh" and she came running back!

Consistency is the key............... keep doing the same thing every time and she will get the message.

I'm with finoni9 100%. I was actually using a form of time out from even earlier...any behaviour I didn't like resulted in me turning my back or walking away for short periods, and certainly by 2 years, time out was in full swing. I will time him out anywhere, anytime, and he knows it so usually a reminder (in my case a count of 3, in finoni9's oh-oh) is enough to halt the bad behaviour.
The bonus of time out is removal from the situation, giving everyone a break, and distraction from the cause of the bad behaviour. Plus the 'punishment' if you like for cosycub is that he hates to be ignored. I always end it by getting down to his height, asking him if he knows why he was timed out and reminding him why, then asking for an apology, then hugging because I firmly believe grudges should never be held against little uns.

Whatever you choose, again finoni9 put their finger on it...consistency is key. The phrase 'I've tried everything' usually rings alarm bells with me. Give your chosen method time to work...and starting fresh with a 2 year old, ornery critters that they can be, it may take awhile for you to feel they're getting the hang of it.

Good luck!

Another thing as cosywolf mentioned - timeout gives everyone a break - it gives you time to calm down as well and so stops the risk of you showing your anger to him.

I totally agree with the others, time out is the way forward. I even know a couple of kids (nearly 3) who put themselves on time out when things get a bit much or they are getting annoyed - just shows how good it is.

I totally agree with the others, time out is the way forward. I even know a couple of kids (nearly 3) who put themselves on time out when things get a bit much or they are getting annoyed - just shows how good it is.

Yip as they get older you can use it more for a time to cool off than a punishment and the kids actually find it valuable!

Thanks for the advise. By coincidence after I had posted I found my one & only parenting book which usually gives great advise (by Carolyn Webster-Stratton if anyones interested). She is completely with you all on this. Time out is the way forward.

Will let you know how we go on-cheers.

To add to this I would just like to pint out that babybell has taken to kicking her cousin in the head today at Meadowhell. It went unnoticed for a while until some kind women asked me if I could control my kids - to which I said no would you like a go and there not mine? She als asked why did I need a pram the size of a bus (how rude)?

It is all being done for effect at the moment babybell feels that the frank Bruno thing is funny and my daughter loves to play the whiney victim however it has all just changed Emma had just hit babybell as she has stolen her new love heart pants and she doesn't like it.

Oh what joy - must go and end round 1.someone going to bed:help:

Children are very clever and if they discover that hitting others is the only way to get your attention then they will do it. Spend at least 10 minutes a day playing with your child on a one to one basis and give them lots of praise and attention when they are quiet and good.

Hi Michelle,

Thanks for replying but I spend lots of one to one time with Babybell giving praise & attention for positive behaviour. I have 4 children and I am well aware of the benefits of this.

It is definitely not attention seeking but thanks for the thought. I think its more to do with, she see's a toy, she wants it so she just try's all she can to get it (none of the others have been hitters). I have managed to avoid any situations this week by being more proactive & distracting her away from any flashpoints.

Sorry, I hope it didn't seem like I was suggesting you don't spend time with your children already. Sounds like you are doing all the right things therefore I wonder if it might be connected to Babybell's birth?

Sometimes baby's are born with severe moulding which can stay retained and cause them all kinds of problems including behavioural. Also if the birth is traumatic this can have an effect on the little one. There has been some research done which suggests that instrumental delivery predisposes young men to violent behaviour.

My first born had severe moulding where he had been squashed down the birth canal when the midwife unnecessarily broke my waters. His heart rate dropped and he had to be delivered by EMCS under general anaesthetic - which must have been very traumatic for a little man. He started head banging the floor, his cot, his car seat etc when he was about 9 months old and as soon as he started attending playgroup he would hit other children.

Osteopathy helped to release a lot of the tension in his head and his mood improved a lot - even Nursery noticed an improvement in his behaviour. He still has his moments as all children do but he is much better. The Osteopathic Practice, at Broomhall, will send you a free book if you make an enquiry - you can then decide for yourself if you think some treatment would be beneficial for Babybell.