I was just wondering what you thought about making your children sit at the table when you eat. Are you strict about them staying there? Do you make them eat all their food? Or are you happy for them to get up?

Personally I can see why people like to keep children at the table as it is training them to understand manners and other adults like it.
On the other hand I think it can make eating quite a stressful experience for them and the parents by forcing them to do something that they don't want to. They can end up being more defiant. It's not as if adults sit there suppressing a desire to get up and do something else- they just want to sit there!
I've found that as my son gets older- he's now 3 and a half, he gets up less and less naturally as his attention span grows, whereas my 2 year old daughter who has always been more demanding gets up a lot and wants to sit on my knee or refuses food more. I try to not make an issue of it but sometimes feel like I should be more strict.

What do other parents think about this?

Its never really been an issue at our house, we always sit up to the table as a family and eat and chat ......... and the kids have just grown up with that being normal ......... thats not to say we dont slum it in the lounge with a chinese takeaway every now and again :hihi:

We started off all eating together but it was a bit fraught trying to get tea ready in time for when my husband gets back, when the kids are tired and hungry, so now they eat earlier and us later once they're in bed. I plan to do this when they're a bit older though, I've always liked the idea. How old are your kids? It's probably more of an issue when they're pre-schoolers.

they don't sit? They go hungry, its manners at the end of the day.

they don't sit? They go hungry, its manners at the end of the day.

From what age?

From what age?

Not weaning obviously but from an age of understanding about 2 and a half, sit with the family and eat, if they don't want it. let them sit and be a part of the family. Kids need the routine of family time and not disappearing to see the cartoons or whatever.

Now I have a teen who wants to disappear to his room with food, the simple answer is no, I cooked a family meal we eat together, if he doesn't like it he goes without.

It works, and he takes his turn with the dishes ;)

I think that's great- I really want that too. When I was a teen I either had grilled food I'd made myself on my own, a preference to the more healthy stuff my mum made later for her and my step-dad; or slightly tense dinners at my dad's house where I learnt to eat food I didn't like and my brother was clearly being awkward by being a vegetarian amongst other things... it just wasn't that fun. Or you hear about these families that eat together but barely speak or just argue- I just want to get it right!

My DD who is 2 sits with us or me for every meal at the table. I try and keep her there - easier in the high chair. Also helps to learn for when we go out for meals that she has to sit at the table. If she doesn't eat her main meal and refuses to try a bit, then she gets nothing else. I encourage her a little bit, by saying if you want some (whatever is for afters - usually fruit as she loves fruit) then you need to eat this little bit. Which is usually just a bit of carrot or something. If she refuses to try it, then she gets nothing. She's well aware of it now and will at least try a little bit.

We all eat together, my Oh is a coach driver and away on tour a lot but myself and the 5 children always eat together,I have 4 teenagers they have always eaten at the table and I pull my toddler sons high chair up to the table so he eats with us too.I have always done this so they dont know any different.

My DD who is 2 sits with us or me for every meal at the table. I try and keep her there - easier in the high chair. Also helps to learn for when we go out for meals that she has to sit at the table. If she doesn't eat her main meal and refuses to try a bit, then she gets nothing else. I encourage her a little bit, by saying if you want some (whatever is for afters - usually fruit as she loves fruit) then you need to eat this little bit. Which is usually just a bit of carrot or something. If she refuses to try it, then she gets nothing. She's well aware of it now and will at least try a little bit.

Yes I do that sort of thing too! My kids are so different though, my son loves all fruit and veg but my daughter would happily live on cheese and ham! On one hand I want to widen her repertoire by getting her to try things but on the other I don't want to force food onto her and for her tostart seeing it negatively. Getting her to try something by using the pud as a reward has worked but it has also ended in a battle of wills! She'll also just want to get out of her chair and she's, well, determined!

I have a rule, if you don't try it you can't say you don't like it. My boys now love Sushi (which I hate) and all manner of shell fish. They will give anything a go once.

At the moment we don't have space for a proper table in our flat! :( Baby Alien has his highchair though, or if we eat sat around the coffee table kind of Japaneses style he will join us. Yes, he wanders around a bit, but at this stage I don't mind. I'm hoping to have a proper eating space in our next place (hopefully next year) and we can begin with proper family meals then.

my daughter is 3 and has sat with us at meal times since she went onto solids even if it was only with a few bits on her tray as she did have different meal times but now she eats same as us at the same time

I have a rule, if you don't try it you can't say you don't like it. My boys now love Sushi (which I hate) and all manner of shell fish. They will give anything a go once.

I have this rule too, my 7 yr old can be quite fussy but she knows she has to try something before she can moan saying she doesnt like it! :hihi: I find school dinners have helped loads, before them she wouldnt touch pasta, lasagne, bolognaise etc but now she see's her friends eating them they're amongst her favourite meals.
We don't have enough room for a table in our new house as my son has pinched the dining room for his bedroom lol. I'm hoping to get one of those butterfly tables soon though. At our old house we had a huge table and I made sure me and the kids sat down 2-3 times a week as a family (often with my mum as a guest! My OH is never home in time). Its difficult to do it now as my mum works different hours and I have to spoon feed both the little ones so any conversation is generally done over my shoulder to my eldest. There is definetely a no tv rule though!

From what age?

as soon as they were old enough to sit in a high chair, they were pulled up to the table with us. if the kids are brought up with dinner at the table, with the family, its just normal to them. Thinking about it, its probably one of the few times were all sat together as a family in the day and its when we chat about whats been happening, talk about current affairs ect.

I suppose Im lucky as in that Ive got a dinning area (not a lot of new homes do) ........ and neither of my kids have ever been picky eaters, both have good appitites, and I dont cook them special meals, i was amazed at how many mums cook seperate 'chicken nuggets' and the rest have something else, my kids have always eaten whatever ive cooked for the family.

we do have takeaway suppers now and again, which are eaten infront of the TV .......... everyones got to slob out now and again ;)

Hi, we all tend to sit at the table. During the week the kids usually eat together earlier than us but at least one of us sits with them. Usually dh sits with them with a cup of tea. I do like eating together but they tend to be starving after school so they have tea about 5 - too early for us. Usually the girls tend to sit with us when we eat later anyway. We are really lucky to have room for a big table.

I don't make them stay until they have finished. The eldest (13) tends to eat at breakneck speed & then shoots off to his room. The rest of us stay there though.

This is one of those issues where you will get loads of different opinions.

Most people would love to say we all sit together and eat the same thing like the Walton's with no fussy eater but that doesn't happen.

Take our house me and dh don't like the same thing Dh won't touch Cheese I love it he can eat any animal land or water I don't mind and could be a veggie - so what do we do with dd.

I do like sitting together but in the day when I am on my own it is hard sitting with my daughter and niece who I look after some times as they want whats on my plate (my plate, my fighting irons etc). As they have got older it is easier.

My view is you should let them get on with it, we sit in the kitchen if we sit down together with no tv and it is a case of you eat or you don't (I have no issues if dd doesn't eat she can go a couple of days if she doesn't eat past and cheese or scrambled egg I know something is wrong) I have also got a small table for her in the room where she sometimes has lunch with the TV on I sit on the sofa. Depends what we are doing.

My main worry is breakfast dd isn't interested she will eat my toast but not if she has her own cereal is hit a miss - I don;t like the thought of her going without so she sometimes has a yogurt or fruit my view is it is better than nothing.

As for making kids sit a the table why if they have eaten the meal and want to go and play watch tv etc so be it, I find it nice to have my tea in piece.

we sit to the table as afamily always have done we use it as teaching the children manners and finding out what they have been doing taht day we all eat then have a lttle chat after wards an they love it because they cant wait to talk abiut everything sometimes cant shut them up:hihi: