My OH is doing her nut.

Theres a pregnancy forum that she visits and one of the ladies there is upset because her bloke flatly refuses to go into the delivery room while shes giving birth.

Why does he refuse?

Because hes scared of blood...?

No.

Because he doesnt want to see his beloved in pain and discomfort?

Nope.

He doesnt want to be there in case he catches sight of his ladys naughty bits all stretched and looking messy and... You know what Im getting at here.

Anyway, he says that if he sees that, it`ll put him off sex with her and MIGHT even make him want to leave her because in his words "It`ll look ugly"

Ok, if this was their first kid then I can partially understand why a bloke would be a bit nervous about being there- Im not too happy about being present to tell you the truth because Im such a huge lump of lard I just KNOW Ill get in the way, trip over sensitive machines, make uncouth and some VERY dirty remarks regarding naughty bits and...

Actually Ive done all of the above and have pics of me messing about to prove it.

Should this bloke be FORCED into the delivery room? Should all men be banned outright from there?

DISCUSS!!

Or I`ll impregnate ya!

I think that is so wrong! I can understand if it was for the reasons you've stated jabbers but cause he might be put off sex and may want to leave her?!? I think she's mad having a child with such an eejitt in the first place.

I don't think I could have coped half as well without my husband with me when I had our daughter. He helped to put her their so he should be able to see the trouble/difficulty of bringing her into the world. I also think it helps daddy bond with the baby and an experience never to be forgotten.

I know that being in there with MrsCamrat left me very traumatised. I wouldn't have missed the birth of my son for the world.... but the experience of seeing my wife in pain and the pure intensity of the situation left me stunned for weeks and weeks after.

It makes me wonder if he`ll be put off the baby once he sees it puking and filling its nappies, if hes so delicate then how does he cope at that "Special" time of the month when his better half has the occasional accident?

Id say he was looking for an excuse to duck out of any responsibility.. I bet hes got a date with the lads in the boozer or something.

those are the kind of comments my OH would make - but he wouldn't DARE try and duck out of seeing the birth!! why doesnt this sensitive flower of a *bloke* simply stay at the head end? Or will the sight of her knees in the air reduce him to tears?!
Actually jabbers, your description of your behavior in the delivery room, and that of my OH sound one and the same....your poor OH!!!!:hihi:

Didn't Gordon Ramsey say that as well though?

He should just stay up the head end - I know thats where ill make my fella stand if I have a kid!

..........................................

I made sure I stayed up the top end through the birth of my two. I do think it's unfair on some men - it's assumed they'd want to be there and some are generally not that bothered and others may have a genuine fear of being present. I absolutely adore my kids, but to be honest, I wasn't that arsed about seeing them coming into the world. Pregnancy is a beautiful and precious journey for a woman, but it is one inevitably taken alone, and maybe it should be finished alone.

Frankly, watching your missus grunt and scream for hours is a little tiring on the nerves. My OH was fine for an hour or two, but when she started sucking on her pipe I had to listen to her talk garbage for the next three hours. I couldn't wait to get back home for the day and see what crap had been added on the "for sale" section of the forum. I nipped back at lunch though and took her a steak slice from Greggs.

me and my hubby have 3 kids and hes been there with them all and says he wouldnt have missed it for the world .

eejitt is the right word! :loopy:

My OH did all the normal things - almost fainted - fell asleep on the big bean bag whilst waiting for junior to come out, tripped over machines, called me 'good girl' (which he'll never do again & I had to apologise to the midwives after that - although they've heard far far worse than me lol) - BUT he kept me going when I was scared and thought watching his son come out of there was the best thing since sliced bread.

This eejitt obviously doesn't go down there during the act :o to give his wife pleasure (if you know what I mean - don't want to get kicked off for being rude) :)
BUT like you've said already - he made it too - so he should be there. Why are some men just :rant:?

I made sure I stayed up the top end through the birth of my two. I do think it's unfair on some men - it's assumed they'd want to be there and some are generally not that bothered and others may have a genuine fear of being present. I absolutely adore my kids, but to be honest, I wasn't that arsed about seeing them coming into the world. Pregnancy is a beautiful and precious journey for a woman, but it is one inevitably taken alone, and maybe it should be finished alone.

Frankly, watching your missus grunt and scream for hours is a little tiring on the nerves. My OH was fine for an hour or two, but when she started sucking on her pipe I had to listen to her talk garbage for the next three hours. I couldn't wait to get back home for the day and see what crap had been added on the "for sale" section of the forum. I nipped back at lunch though and took her a steak slice from Greggs.This IS a joke post, right? :suspect:

In one ancient culture, I think it was the Minoans, when a woman began labour she would tie a piece of rope to her partners testicles. During each contraction, she would pull on the rope so the man would feel "her pain". This attitude of "he made it too - he should be there" is ridiculous. The literature surrounding pregnancy i found to be incredibly patronising to men. It was all centred around men feeling "left out" and how they may "need a hug too". Then to top it all off, you get the health visitors coming round, ignoring you and then slipping a leaflet about domestic violence to your OH when you've gone to the kazi.

I'm not complaining about this, just making a point. Pregnancy is, and should, be all about the woman. They're the ones going through the hell of it, and they're the ones who gain the most reward from the immediate birth. The bonding process for men is completely different and I'd be disgusted at myself if it needed me to cut the umbilical cord (which the midwife forced me to do - so what?) or be there in that moment for me to "bond" with my kids. Pregnancy is becoming politicized in favour of a female agenda. Let a man be present if he wants to, and if he doesn't, then it should be no big deal. Being there won't make him a better or worse father.

Now where's that rope . . .

In one ancient culture, I think it was the Minoans, when a woman began labour she would tie a piece of rope to her partners testicles. During each contraction, she would pull on the rope so the man would feel "her pain". This attitude of "he made it too - he should be there" is ridiculous. The literature surrounding pregnancy i found to be incredibly patronising to men. It was all centred around men feeling "left out" and how they may "need a hug too". Then to top it all off, you get the health visitors coming round, ignoring you and then slipping a leaflet about domestic violence to your OH when you've gone to the kazi


Now where's that rope . . .


Christ!

My OH sees this and Im done for!

In one ancient culture, I think it was the Minoans, when a woman began labour she would tie a piece of rope to her partners testicles. During each contraction, she would pull on the rope so the man would feel "her pain".

I'm very much likin this idea. Almost makes it worth contemplating trying for baby number 6, just to try it out :hihi:

Well when my OH tied the rope around my old men, the joke was on her. I had a doctor friend slip me an epidural before labour started. She couldn't understand it: every time she yanked I just laughed harder. The only trouble was, when we took the baby round to her mothers two days later, I ended up peeing on her new kitchen linoleum. But you can't have it all ways - as they say.

I see, it WAS a joke post :rolleyes: and you have old MEN, not many people can say that :P

Personally, I agree that fathers just get in everyone's way during labour, and I think letting them in there just gives them ideas and dispels all the mystique around labour and childbirth.

They need to be given meaningless tasks, like being kept busy boiling water, and do a lot of pacing up and down outside in a state of nervous anticipation, listening to the screams :D

I think my partner found it rather boring, but once things got interesting he was very involved. He had said he wasn't going to go down 'the business end', but when it came to it he was down there giving me status updates, the most comical being "He's got hair and it's not ginger!" (partner is a ginge so was hugely paranoid about having a ginger baby, especially as my Mum's a ginge too) and "There's a BABY coming out of your LA-LA!" He liked that he got to see Baby Alien's face first, and that he got to cut the cord too. He was a bit concerned that Baby Alien was rather grey when he was born, not realising they have to have the cord cut and take a proper breath before they go fully pink. Other than that it was good he was there to do things like putting my hair up and sharing the gas with me - he even ended up texting my parents to tell them we were high, lol! Then when I needed to go to surgery afterwards it was great to be able to leave him with Baby Alien for 2 hours - great bonding for them and I was happy to leave them together rather than Baby Alien being left in the nursery.

He's got a friend who is becoming a father in November and has been trying to explain the joys of childbirth to him, but he gets the impression the guy just isn't that interested. But then my partner has just recently started talking about having another which was VERY unexpected (I'm not ready for another yet, and he always said he couldn't imagine having any more because he thinks Baby Alien is perfect).

However, we did laugh at the domestic abuse leaflet, went through the checklist and came to the conclusion that we abuse each other quite terribly!

My lassy was in labour from 1am to 11:15 when the girl popped into the world.
At about 11 we were both fed up but my suggestion of a game of "I spy" didn't go down well at all.
Women eh?

Still as for seeing the birth. Can I suggest doing what I did. That was to stand near my wife's head looking down. That way you can be there for her and not see all the messy stuff while still being able to see your child's arrival into the world.

For any man that has this coming up I'll tell you now.
BE THERE.
You won't understand why until after but will never know what you missed if you don't. :)

I absolutely adore my kids, but to be honest, I wasn't that arsed about seeing them coming into the world. Pregnancy is a beautiful and precious journey for a woman, but it is one inevitably taken alone, and maybe it should be finished alone.


I love that idea of the rope.

But at end of day if my OH wasn't there - he wouldn't be there at home either!!

It's the woman that gets the reward & pregnancy is a precious journey - what :rant:Which book you get that from?
My 'journey' was hell from start to finish - others mothers looked at me like I was :loopy: when I said no I hated being pregnant. My OH was with me for the scans & repeat ones & extra checks throughout it all. And he also bonded with our baby straight away, as I just wanted a shower & to sleep. My OH did alot of bonding with our baby immediately afterwards and since then!

Thankfully even with all this I love my baby to bits. :-)

I think that dad's have got a bit of a tricky deal, having to watch the one they love go through so much, and not being able to do anything about it. When I was pregnant with my little one, my hubby felt a bit helpless until we learned Hypnobirthing. He was given a real role which would both keep him occupied and actually help me during labour. It was amazing for him to be such a positive part of the process, and really enhanced the bond between us. Learning things like massage techniques and suggestions for positions etc, can also be a truly fantastic way of getting involved. Obviously that would mean the OH's doing either some reading or going along to a birth preparation class or two. I know it isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I believe that it really can be a powerful and amazing process to be involved with, especially if it is your baby being born!:hihi::hihi:

I come home from Newark,Ive then done my supermarket shopping, and all the unpacking. Pop onto forum, and see this thread " Dads In The Delivery Room " started by Jabberwocky. What did I think ? I really thought he was in the delivery room right NOW !!! Nearly had a fit, I thought God hes actually posting from the delivery room. Im logging out now, so I can calm down . Bit misleading there , Jabbers !:rolleyes::rolleyes:

I come home from Newark,Ive then done my supermarket shopping, and all the unpacking. Pop onto forum, and see this thread " Dads In The Delivery Room " started by Jabberwocky. What did I think ? I really thought he was in the delivery room right NOW !!! Nearly had a fit, I thought God hes actually posting from the delivery room. Im logging out now, so I can calm down . Bit misleading there , Jabbers !:rolleyes::rolleyes:

If I had a laptop Id do it!

Thered be pics too, AND sound files of the OH squealing.

I can actually understand him not wanting to be in there, it is his choice after all. So what if he doesn't want to because he's scared of it, thats what you have to remember, he's scared! I'd still want him in the hospital, even if he wasn't in the room.

Just my opinion

...............................