Hi all,

I'm just after a bit of advice about meal times and my little boy who is nearly 17 months. Basically he is going through a phase at the moment where he just does not want to eat and to get him to eat I'm having to give him toys, spoons or anything else to distract him while I just spoon it in. I feel like I'm giving in by doing this but I don't want him to just not eat at all which I fully believe he would.

This is just a pahse at the moment (i hope!!) but previous to this when he was eating well, he doesn't want to eat anything which he has to feed himself. He won't eat finger food and just throws it on the floor. He likes everything to be fed to him on a spoon and shows no interest in feeding himself. He doesn't like to chew at all and he doesn't seem to want to bite off things e.g. a bit of sandwich. Although he won't eat a sandwich even if I break it into tiny pieces and feed them to him, because he likes food to be mashed up or he just won't eat.

So my problem is that I just don't know what to do now. Let him starve until he eats what he's given or just keep giving him mashed up food?? All my friends children of the same age will try to hold a spoon and feed themselves and they will all eat finger food like sandwiches, quiche, etc. I know all children are different but we don't seem to be making any progress. I used to think he's only little, it will come but it still hasn't.

Anybody else have the same problem or has had the same problem? Does anybody have any advice? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, my little boy went through a similar phase at around that age - he's just past 2 now. From everything I read, the best thing to do is to keep presenting him with a variety of foods whether or not he eats it. Try not to stress, and if he doesn't eat then that's ok. Don't offer treats as an alternative. He will not starve, he will eat if he's hungry. Also, eat with him and show that mummy/daddy is enjoying the food. Baby Gruffalo is now just starting to be a bit more adventurous, so don't worry the phase will pass!

If my daughter doesn't eat or try what's she's given, she doesn't get anything. I'm a bit harsh, but my DD isn't starving. Take tonight, she didn't eat any of her tea, just put a bit in her mouth and spat it out. I haven't given her anything else. But I do know that she has a milk a bedtime, so that staves off any hunger pangs and she will eat tomorrow. The more you stress about it, the more the little one's play up. Just keep putting food in front of him, resign yourself to the fact most of it will go in the bin (as mine does!!) and try to give him both spoon stuff and finger food.

But I would just check first that there isn't a medical problem as to why he doesn't like eating lumps, before starting any new feeding routine.

Thanks for your replies. I am stressing over it and getting frustarted which I know won't be helping. I've continued to try giving him finger food but he just refuses. He did have a go at using the spoon to feed himself a petit filous. He loves these so I thought at least he would have the motivation to want to eat it.

I don't really feel I can take him to the doctor over this and I'm not sure whether this is something I can speak to a health visitor about as I haven't seen a health visitor now for a long time.

I was thinking yesterday that he does still have quite a lot of milk and that maybe I need to cut it down a bit so he's more hungry. Although he does love his milk and he does eat lots if it's not too lumpy and fed to him which indicates that he is hungry.

How much milk do other people's children have at around this age? I would say my little one has about 16 floz (5oz first thing, 5oz in the afternoon and 6oz before bed) plus what he has in with his breakfast.

Cutting out some milk might help. At that age my little one was just having morning and night milk. It wasn't long after that when he started being fussy with breakfast we cut out the morning milk as well. He likes cheese and yoghurt and porridge so gets plenty of calcium without having to supplement with lots of milk...The whole food thing can be very stressful, but try not to worry and keep mealtimes a positive experience. Hope things get better soon! :)