Now, I wont be surprised if this thread gets sliced, but it IS a bona fide thread and not just an excuse to use willy jokes, but there was a survey recently that asked several women what they would do if they woke one morning to discover they had a penis.

Here are the results:

A survey asked women: "What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"

Here are their actual responses...

"I would walk around and prod my husband all night long with it, whatever he is doing I'll be there prodding him with it."

"I would write my name in the snow."

"I would go into my boss' office and lay it on his desk and say: 'Where is my raise?'"

"I would find my ex-boyfriend, go to bed with him and tell him to roll over and try something new."

"I would want a big one and show it off to everyone."

"I could grab myself in public and not be embarrassed."

"I would not lift the lid on the toilet seat while peeing."

"I would measure it both ways."

"Pee off of a tall building."

"I would speed to the hospital and have it surgically removed."

"I would treat women better with it."

"I would love him, and squeeze him, and play with it all day."

"Demonstrate to my husband and my two sons that it is possible to hit the water and not pee all over everything."

"Pin my husband down and slap him in the face with it."

"I would play with it and then make him roll over into the wet spot."

"Go to an adult store and try out all kinds of stimulants to see what was the best."

"Stand up and jump up and down and watch it swing all around."

"See how many donuts I could carry with it."

"Check out my boyfriends gag reflexes!"

Ladies... lets try to keep this thread within decent bounds but.. what would you do...?

All of those........:thumbsup:

I deleted quite a few that were hair raisingly perverted and in extremely bad taste, but I WILL be trying the suggestions out on the OH (or the cat) at a later date.

i would search for Jabberwocky!

come here!

i would search for Jabberwocky!

come here!

And I would...


Run like hell probably! :D

I deleted quite a few that were hair raisingly perverted and in extremely bad taste, but I WILL be trying the suggestions out on the OH (or the cat) at a later date.

You could always send it to me on FB.

You could always send it to me on FB.

That means Id have to hunt out the site I nicked it all from!

Ill try but... my Oh gets suspicious of me when I type the word "Penis" into Google!

That means Id have to hunt out the site I nicked it all from!

Ill try but... my Oh gets suspicious of me when I type the word "Penis" into Google!

And so she should. :hihi:

I'd immediately offer to donate it to my beloved Mr Wocky :love:

From what I've heard, he could do with a little help in that department :hihi:

I'd immediately offer to donate it to my beloved Mr Wocky :love:

From what I've heard, he could do with a little help in that department :hihi:

While youre at it I could do with a pair of nads and a spine! Aparrantly I dont have any!

I'd immediately offer to donate it to my beloved Mr Wocky :love:

From what I've heard, he could do with a little help in that department :hihi:


A man with two would really be impossible to live with.:rolleyes:

While youre at it I could do with a pair of nads and a spine! Aparrantly I dont have any!

Drat! I wish you'd mentioned that before I had the dog "done" - I'm sure the vet would have been happy to attempt a transplant :hihi:

there was a survey recently that asked several women what they would do if they woke one morning to discover they had a penis.


Most of us end up marrying it :suspect:

Most of us end up marrying it :suspect:

Love it!!! :hihi:

A survey asked women: "What would you do if you woke up and had a penis?"


The first thing I'd do? Give it a cute nickname.

Second thing? Buy an athletic cup.

The first thing I'd do? Give it a cute nickname.

Second thing? Go out and buy an athletic cup.

An athletic cup? What?

Like a pole vaulting coffee mug or something?

An athletic cup? What?

Like a pole vaulting coffee mug or something?

Hmm. I guess it's called something different in England. You know, a hard plastic thing that protects your privates during a baseball game.

Hmm. I guess it's called something different in England. You know, a hard plastic thing that protects your privates during a baseball game.

A Wife...?

Hmm. I guess it's called something different in England. You know, a hard plastic thing that protects your privates during a baseball game.

Baseball???? :hihi:

I believe some gentlemen do wear a box when playing cricket.

Baseball???? :hihi:

I believe some gentlemen do wear a box when playing cricket.

box?

A Box?

Women with penises, men with boxes.... this thread is starting to scare me.

ive just asked gert what would she do if she woke up with a penis ,she said ive been waking up with one for the last 33 years:suspect:

Baseball???? :hihi:

I believe some gentlemen do wear a box when playing cricket.

They're called boxes over there? Don't boxes have corners?!:o


Well, whatever they're called, I'd want one to protect my tackle. Not just from fastballs, hockey pucks and cricket bats, either. I'd wear mine 24/7.

ive just asked gert what would she do if she woke up with a penis ,she said ive been waking up with one for the last 33 years:suspect:

fantastic....:hihi::hihi:

They're called boxes over there? Don't boxes have corners?!:o


Well, whatever they're called, I'd want one to protect my tackle. Not just from fastballs, hockey pucks and cricket bats, either. I'd wear mine 24/7.

Is that 'cause you never wanna know what it's like when you get smacked down there? (let me tell you Cricket balls are the worst!).

Besides it's the balls that need protecting they're the things that really hurt, Jabbers didn't specify whether you'd have those or not aswell.

ive just asked gert what would she do if she woke up with a penis ,she said ive been waking up with one for the last 33 years:suspect:

:hihi::hihi::hihi::hihi:
Another thread created by the talented Mr Jabbers which will lead to tears of laughter.

I'd compare mine with other women's ...in the urinals!!!:hihi:

Let's be honest, most women wouldn't know what to do with it but they wouldn't be polite enough to ask.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes 380SL convertible.

Let's be honest, most women wouldn't know what to do with it but they wouldn't be polite enough to ask.
gertrude says theres some men dont,im having one them days:(

I think if women could have a penis for a day and men could have breasts for a day, the world would grind to a halt for the entire 24 hours! :hihi:

Is that 'cause you never wanna know what it's like when you get smacked down there? (let me tell you Cricket balls are the worst!).

You're darn tootin', Jimmy!


Besides it's the balls that need protecting they're the things that really hurt, Jabbers didn't specify whether you'd have those or not aswell.

Well, if I don't get the whole package, forget it.