I am ya typical uncouth Eastender. I am, however, off to Cambridge for a bit of a hol. Anyone got any ideas how I can improve myself while I am there. Nothing that involves thinking please.

Try talking posh. You might pull a rich bird.

Don't change anything, them posh birds like a bit of rough.

What like 'Hello Doll, whats a nice girl doing in a joint like this?' say if you're in a museum or something

Originally posted by BoppinBruce
What like 'Hello Doll, whats a nice girl doing in a joint like this?'

yeah, something like that, or "Get your coat, you've pulled, darlin"

Like 'Is it true when you are dead you go stiff? Feel this I think I'm Dying'

Important to carry a Guardian and , if possible , a book by Wittgenstein , with his name prominently displayed on the cover.
Go in any pub , keep glancing at the book [ any old page will do] , put on a faraway look and keep saying , " ye.....e......e...s...s...s..." That should attract a good few admirers. If anyone actually asks you about Wittgenstein , you don't have to give a co-herent answer , as the chances are that they won't have the foggiest idea what he was on about anyway.
Sometimes even Wittgenstein didn't seem to know what he was on about !

Borrow a Ferrari for a day.

Or steal one. There's plenty daan saaf.

Remove the words "treacle, sweetheart, princess or darling" from your vocabulary.;)

Cutglass, thanx for advice. I never use Treacle except for the Ian Dury song about Pandora who had knee sox and treacle coloured hair, the theme to the Adrian Mole series some years ago.

I do use Twinkle tho and I read Daily Sport whats my chances of scoring

Try wearing a nice fragrant aftershave, and carry a satchel or small bag......!!

Originally posted by BoppinBruce
I am ya typical uncouth Eastender. I am, however, off to Cambridge for a bit of a hol. Anyone got any ideas how I can improve myself while I am there. Nothing that involves thinking please.

Try punting on the Camb - that's v civilised & not at all uncouth ;)

'Now is the Time to Say Goodbye' as Peter Cooke and Dudley Moore sang.

I am off to Cambridge to see what occurs. Hopefully like the the Bobby Goldsboro song, I will leave a boy and return a man.

If anyone is interested, which I doubt, I will return next weekish.

Hope everyone has a good May Day hols and we will be round the Maypole buying our groceries every Friday.

Phew!

A bit of peace and quiet then.:D

Originally posted by Siân
Try punting on the Camb - that's v civilised & not at all uncouth ;)

Be careful how you say it, though - they don't like 'em that rough.

cgksheff, I heard that..........pardon

(A saying from a popular 1970s sitcom for those that dont know)