cressida
27-07-2008, 15:49
The Godfather’s Accountant
[Best told in an Italian accent and a mouth full of cotton wool]
The Godfather asked one of his minions to find him a new accountant as the last one was ‘sleeping with the fishes’, for certain inaccuracies.
‘I know of one fantastico accountant’ said his chief enforcer ‘He calculatesa everything ina his head, no needa for da ledgers’.
‘ OK’ said the Godfather, ‘ Offer him da job’ . ‘One small a problem, he isa deaf and a dumb’ said his chief
‘ So? ' said the Don 'Hear no evil, speaka no evil, as long he can do the accounts I’m a happy’
So the new accountant was employed and for several years and did his job well.
He communicated by sign language with the Godfather’s chief enforcer, who had a brother who was similarly afflicted.
Then a cousin of the Godfather came back from America where he was studying finance.
The Godfather gave him a job as the accountant’s assistant.
He started to find certain holes in the boss’s accounts, the further he delved the more money was found to be missing.
The Godfather ordered the chief enforcer to bring the accountant to him.
‘Now aska him what he hasa done with the missing money’ he said to his chief.
The enforcer signed the question, the accountant signed back.
‘He says, he knows nothing’ said the chief
The Godfather pointed at his throat and made a slitting gesture, ‘Tell him that if he doesn’t tell me now, tomorrow he sleeps with the fishes’
The chief signed once more to the accountant, telling him the bad news.
The accountant signed back ‘The money all 12 million euros, and 5 million US dollars is hidden in the wine cellar, behind the big vat’
The Godfather said ‘Whadda he say?’
The chief had the briefest of smiles before saying ,‘ He said you ainta gotta da guts to kill anyone’
[Best told in an Italian accent and a mouth full of cotton wool]
The Godfather asked one of his minions to find him a new accountant as the last one was ‘sleeping with the fishes’, for certain inaccuracies.
‘I know of one fantastico accountant’ said his chief enforcer ‘He calculatesa everything ina his head, no needa for da ledgers’.
‘ OK’ said the Godfather, ‘ Offer him da job’ . ‘One small a problem, he isa deaf and a dumb’ said his chief
‘ So? ' said the Don 'Hear no evil, speaka no evil, as long he can do the accounts I’m a happy’
So the new accountant was employed and for several years and did his job well.
He communicated by sign language with the Godfather’s chief enforcer, who had a brother who was similarly afflicted.
Then a cousin of the Godfather came back from America where he was studying finance.
The Godfather gave him a job as the accountant’s assistant.
He started to find certain holes in the boss’s accounts, the further he delved the more money was found to be missing.
The Godfather ordered the chief enforcer to bring the accountant to him.
‘Now aska him what he hasa done with the missing money’ he said to his chief.
The enforcer signed the question, the accountant signed back.
‘He says, he knows nothing’ said the chief
The Godfather pointed at his throat and made a slitting gesture, ‘Tell him that if he doesn’t tell me now, tomorrow he sleeps with the fishes’
The chief signed once more to the accountant, telling him the bad news.
The accountant signed back ‘The money all 12 million euros, and 5 million US dollars is hidden in the wine cellar, behind the big vat’
The Godfather said ‘Whadda he say?’
The chief had the briefest of smiles before saying ,‘ He said you ainta gotta da guts to kill anyone’