Well the exams are over. The exams were a nightmare. My daughter nearly missed one exam but her teacher phoned up and I shoved her in a taxi and she made it with about 10 seconds to spare. Now we are waiting for the results on the 14th Aug and I'm walking on egg shells. She says she thinks she hasn't done well enough. I don't know whether it's true. I say well both your Dad and I had to do resits not end of world. Not the right thing to say. I say I don't think she will have done so badly. Not the right thing to say. Talk to her learning support, they contact University. University says we wouldn't offer you a place if we didn't want you. She cheers up a little. But now we're back to her worrying and me worrying. It's worse than when I was doing the exams and I've got 2 more children to go.

I can offer advice from the child's perspective - nothing you can say will be right!

I know that doesn't seem very helpful, but I was such a little madam as a teenager that my mother and I hardly spoke at all for several years. Eventually she just gave up on trying to appease me (quite right too) and said in so many words that as far as she was concerned, my exam results didn't matter a single bit.

No one thinks they've done well enough, ever - and I speak as someone who did comparatively very well indeed. The panic and the fear that you could have done just that BIT more revision is ever present until the day the results come through, and nothing will change that.

I'd say the best course of action is try and take her mind off it if at all possible - does she have a job, a good social life etc?

yes we are the same waiting is awful but we mention them as little as possible and both myself and my kids have birthday brfore they arrive so we are trying to concentrate on that

She looked for a job but they either didn't answer or told her she needed to be over 18. Her friends are on holiday or working or emigrated. So she sits at the computer talking to friends on MSN alone in her little cave. Managed to tempt her out to the cinema a couple of times but she retreats back again. I don't mention it except when she cries or rants about it. Suggested she go into town and buy some new clothes in the sales, me paying but she wouldn't go. It's her birthday just after the results but she doesn't want to talk about that either. She didn't want to go on holiday with us, says she wants to try coping on her own, got Granny primed if there's an emergency but don't want to leave her. But she does have to learn to cope and she is pretty capable. Maybe it will help. You want to show you care but if you get too heavy that's trouble too. I just want my fun bouncy daughter back, not this growly bear.

Gosh duckweed I think your daughter and I have a lot in common. I refused to go on holiday too at the same time, told them I'd be fine at home alone (and I was, bar forgetting to water the garden over a heatwave and killing a fair proportion of it!).

It really sounds to me like you're doing the best you can...she will come out of it, even if it takes a while, and 14th August is not THAT far off. Best of luck :)

Results out. One subject had no grade. Other subjects and A and a B. Trouble is that ungraded subject was the vital one. Go to college and find exam board had not added the year befores results. Turns out she has an E. She could have taken up the second offer but decides she wants to do a different degree so now we have to find what Universities are doing the courses she wants with the right entry requirements and reading each Universities course description. And we've got nine days to do it all in. So here am I checking Ucas for what courses are available and then checking it against entry requirements for each uni and typing out lists of those that correlate. Why isn't there an easier way of doing it? Still I don't want her making a snap decision but I'm tired now. I hope she can decide soon so we can make the applications. Why does everything have to be decided so fast? You've got this poor student in an emotional state because her grades weren't quite right and before she's recovered from the shock having to make life changing decisions. In another three years I could be going through all this again with my middle child. I think I'll preorder the tranquillisers.