Like most of my writing :rolleyes: I'm just interested to know if you can read it and understand it or if the lack of real structure makes it difficult to follow. Obviously my own judgement is clouded because it means something to me.

Poem removed - because of a certain person possibly seeing it... thanks Halibut for your response :D

It's clearly heartfelt and meaningful to you. As a fan of poetry, I'm afraid it does very little for me.
There's an excellent book by Steven Fry called 'The ode less travelled' which will tell you all you need to know about writing better stuff. He tale's you through the various forms and gives you exercises to do in a very accessible and occasionally very witty fashion. I'd highly recommend it.

Thanks halibut

At present, I just don't have time to study anything else :lol: I did actually study poetry at A level but to be honest it never really clicked and if I try to follow any rules, I lose the actual meaning of the poem.

Maybe in the future when I have more time I'll take a look at the book. Thanks for the recommendation.

Thanks halibut

At present, I just don't have time to study anything else :lol: I did actually study poetry at A level but to be honest it never really clicked and if I try to follow any rules, I lose the actual meaning of the poem.

Maybe in the future when I have more time I'll take a look at the book. Thanks for the recommendation.

You're welcome Lotti. Oddly, although it seems unlikely, writing within a framework of rules ( i.e. a Haiku is three lines of 5,7 and 5 syllables) can be quite liberating - it kind of forces you into making your meanings very clear.

Road-side Super Snipe
Hiss passing cars. Coffee steams
Bloater paste, silent stars

(this one deviates slightly as it goes 5, 7, 6 , but I like it. A Super Snipe was a car made by Humber, by the way. Big old things with quite comfy interiors and leather seats)

Fish paste, silent stars
rather than
Bloater paste, silent stars

would give the right number of syllables.

Fish paste, silent stars
rather than
Bloater paste, silent stars

would give the right number of syllables.

So it would, thanks Hopman. I'm rather fond of the word 'bloater' though. Maybe

Bloater paste, cold stars.

Decisions, decisions.......

Bloater paste, silence.