Why are men so horrible to women?

Nope im not the same, u just looking past the good guys.

Yup. I'm in total agreement, Adaline.

You're not a bad dude magnet are you, Hels? Some women are prone to it. My brother seems to choose the worst bitches imaginable every single time, and every single time they screw him up. He seems attracted by something in their make-up. Everyone else around him tells him he's going out with another disaster-in-waiting, but he seems totally blind to the clues.

But no, we're not all ********, Hels. Don't give up hope.

Originally posted by Ant
My brother seems to choose the worst bitches imaginable every single time, and every single time they screw him up. He seems attracted by something in their make-up. Everyone else around him tells him he's going out with another disaster-in-waiting, but he seems totally blind to the clues.

Sounds familiar, glad I'm not the only one!

Hels, it's human nature, everyone is a complete and utter *******, you just don't always see it in action. :wink:

I don't mind someone telling me the truth, but I hate people lying to me.

God I am so ****** off! You've probably already guessed.

Er, righto then. I get a feeling there's another half of the story which would equal the bastardness out a bit here.

Married men are the worst of the lot!

Ahem. I hope that's a late-night joke. Fingers get burnt when they play with fire and all that.

Originally posted by Hels
Well, this guy said he would text me later and didnt'. He said he would call round to see me, then turned his mobile off. How much of a ******* is that?

I don't mind someone telling me the truth, but I hate people lying to me.

why do men say one thing and then do another?

hes playing the treat em mean and keep em keen routine ive done it myself a couple of times maybe hes testing you for some reason:suspect:

I think Panda is right here. The 'Treat 'em mean' strategy is one employed by both sexes, but perhaps more so by men. It is a dangerous strategy, in my view, and can backfire very easily. I've never done it myself. I've always thought that men are incredibly fortunate that women find us attractive in the first place.

Originally posted by Hels
Well, this guy said he would text me later and didnt'. He said he would call round to see me, then turned his mobile off. How much of a ******* is that?

I don't mind someone telling me the truth, but I hate people lying to me.

why do men say one thing and then do another?

To me, 'being a *******' equates to phsyical or verbal abuse or other unpleasantnesses.

This seems to drop in to the category of being an idiot.

Just get over him and walk away.

Joe

Your wandering into the wonderfull world of biggotry here - just cos one man treats you in a crappy way you can't really apply that to 50 percent of the human race. Some people will 'play' you whether out of insecurity, for power or simply because they are '********' but it happens just as much by women as by men and the important thing to note it is SOME people not ALL people!

So.... you're calling thjis guy cos he didn't text you back and didn't call round?
So he's not beaten you up, he's not cheated on you and he's not gambled away his and your life savings.

Tell me... is this over-reaction the cause of the time of the month perhaps :P

And on another note, you saying married men are the worst... from that I'm assuming (maybe wrongly) you're seeing a married man?
If so then you're right.. he is a basterd... but not to you... to his wife.

Get over it hels and get some perspective on life!

Originally posted by Hels
Why are men so horrible to women? Why do they say one thing then do another? Are you all the same?

Yawn.

Originally posted by Hels
Why are men so horrible to women? Why do they say one thing then do another?

Because, deep down, women wouldn't really want it any other way?

oh god not another f****** male bashing thread

Originally posted by Hels
Well, this guy said he would text me later and didnt'. He said he would call round to see me, then turned his mobile off. How much of a ******* is that?

I don't mind someone telling me the truth, but I hate people lying to me.

why do men say one thing and then do another?

That is a bit crap. But I feel offended that I've just been labelled a ******* for something that I didn't do! I'm sure quite a few of the other men whose fault this wasn't feel similar.

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Tell me... is this over-reaction the cause of the time of the month perhaps :P!

I was with you all the way there DaB, there you had to put in this typical cheap (man) shot didn't you? Spoiled your argument totally.

Now if you'd said "time of the night after tooo many glasses of wine" I would probably have been nodding my head and thinking yes :P

Hels, woman do this sort of thing too you know, just not as often and not as blatantly maybe ... but we do, and most of the time it's just because we can. On a more heartening note, anything could have happened to prevent him calling you. I was supposed to call someone myself last night but I was out with you guys and it totally went out of my mind. Give him a break, there may be a good excuse coming your way.

Goes off to make more tea and think how "sorry I didn't call you cos I was having such a good time with other people, I totally forget all about you" can be made to sound a little more palatable to the forgotten one ;)

Men are not ********! This is a really unfair thread! The only way a man will treat you bad is if you let him. And you shouldn't make a man calling you so important that it makes you all upset. Do not wait by the phone, girl! You should be thinking 'good, i'm glad he didnt call me cos I really dont have time at the moment because I'm busy with my hobby/career/friends/huge bottle of wine/partying the night away/voluntary work/family - then when the right one does come along you will know he is the right one, because he will be worth giving up some of your precious time for, and you'll also know that if he treats you bad you'll just be able to walk away from him to an equally thrilling single life :)

Originally posted by rubydazzler
I was with you all the way there DaB, there you had to put in this typical cheap (man) shot didn't you? Spoiled your argument totally.

Now if you'd said "time of the night after tooo many glasses of wine" I would probably have been nodding my head and thinking yes :P

Hels, woman do this sort of thing too you know, just not as often and not as blatantly maybe ... but we do, and most of the time it's just because we can. On a more heartening note, anything could have happened to prevent him calling you. I was supposed to call someone myself last night but I was out with you guys and it totally went out of my mind. Give him a break, there may be a good excuse coming your way.

Goes off to make more tea and think how "sorry I didn't call you cos I was having such a good time with other people, I totally forget all about you" can be made to sound a little more palatable to the forgotten one ;)
Cheap shot? I take it the smilie didn't mean anything to you Ruby the little tongue smilie? You know... it looks like this :P
It means tongue in cheek.

If my comment offends you... well that's your problem not mine I'm afraid.
As it happens (and really you should know this) the time of the month for women can make some very hormonal causing some to make rash and un-thoughtout judgements. Hels post could have easily been one and my comment is perfectly valid (whether you agree or not).

It doesn't ruin may argument, it adds a little humour and factual based information to the debate to be perfectly frank. :D

didn't we cover this nonesense topic just last week?

here's the link (http://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/showthread.php?s=&threadid=35861&highlight=men).

But, but white, middle class males (and even better if they are fat and/or ugly) are the only people left to discriminate against / rant about, so if we cleared up the ranting threads everything would just get unbearably civilised!

(N.B. tongue firmly in at least one cheek here :P :P )

Hi Hels - it was nice to meet up with you at Trippets Wine Bar this week, and to make your acquaintance. I enjoyed your company.

But do I assume that you won't be speaking to me again now that you've decided to label me a ******* (just because I am male)?

I feel really offended. Hope you reconsider your attitude.

Red

why are women calculating bitches?

Originally posted by ZEDEX48K
why are women calculating bitches?


this is why after years of emotional abuse from f***wit men i have come to the conclusion that if you can't beat em join em!! I am cold and calculating :D

Originally posted by Hels
Why are men so horrible to women? Why do they say one thing then do another? Are you all the same?

No !!! I'm not, don't make sweeping statements !!!No !!! I'm not, don't make sweeping statements !!! - Red

In my opinion theres nothing worse than people who winge about how horrible their partners are to them but don't do anything about it. As Trisha once said "if you lie down with doormat written on your forehead why be surprised when someone walks all over you!". I know kids can make it more complicated but if there arent any then just move on!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by halevan
[B]No !!! I'm not, don't make sweeping statements !!!red

[QUOTE]Originally posted by halevan
[B]No !!! I'm not, don't make sweeping statements !!!

Originally posted by halevan
[QUOTE]Originally posted by halevan
[B]No !!! I'm not, don't make sweeping statements !!!

Come on Albert spit it out :D

So basically you're trying to see a married man, yet it's only HIM that's the ******? Don't you think you're being a bit of a "******" yourself from the point of view of his wife? Also, if you insist on seeing somebody who's already attached, bearing in mind how they obviously don't respect their current partner is it any wonder they don't respect you either? Do you really expect any sympathy?

Originally posted by kathythebean
In my opinion theres nothing worse than people who winge about how horrible their partners are to them but don't do anything about it. As Trisha once said "if you lie down with doormat written on your forehead why be surprised when someone walks all over you!". I know kids can make it more complicated but if there arent any then just move on!

And the simple fact is that it's not gender specific. As we have covered several times, people can be nasty, mean and selfish. It's an unfortunate fact of life.

I will give hels the benefit of the doubt though. After all she had been in trippets drinking lots of wine. I have made some embarrassingly sweeping statements when under the influence.

Originally posted by t020
So basically you're trying to see a married man, yet it's only HIM that's the ******? Don't you think you're being a bit of a "******" yourself from the point of view of his wife? Also, if you insist on seeing somebody who's already attached, bearing in mind how they obviously don't respect their current partner is it any wonder they don't respect you either? Do you really expect any sympathy?

Very well said t020, I agree with you 100% on that :thumbsup:

Originally posted by Andy78
And the simple fact is that it's not gender specific. As we have covered several times, people can be nasty, mean and selfish. It's an unfortunate fact of life.

I will give hels the benefit of the doubt though. After all she had been in trippets drinking lots of wine. I have made some embarrassingly sweeping statements when under the influence.

I completely agree with you andy, in fact, I changed my original post after rereading it from "I can't stand women who winge about their boyfriends" to "I can't stand people who winge about their partners" for that very reason.

Also, Hels honey, I wasn't slagging you off, just saying, forget about him and go do something that makes you really happy instead :) Best of luck to you chick x

Have PM'd you Hels.

What is everyone thinking, of course all us blokes are complete b**tards :help:

Originally posted by venger
What is everyone thinking, of course all us blokes are complete b**tards :help:

I know, I'm not sure why we feel compelled to try and deny it. In particular I like the like 'yeah, most men are ********, but some of us are different'. I don't know how men keep a straight face with that one. 'We're not all like that' Yes we are, and everyone knows it, it's time to quit the act.

We're all insecure, extremely selfish, and like to play games, and aren't as thoughtful as we should be, and are usually messed up. We hate the fact that who we are with has been with other men before us, and we're childish. We can still be nice sometimes, but we need incentive.

At least we tend to say what we mean, unlike women.

Originally posted by Snook
I know, I'm not sure why we feel compelled to try and deny it. In particular I like the like 'yeah, most men are ********, but some of us are different'. I don't know how men keep a straight face with that one. 'We're not all like that' Yes we are, and everyone knows it, it's time to quit the act.

We're all insecure, and like to play games, and aren't as thoughtful as we should be, and are usually messed up. We can still be nice sometimes, but we need incentive.

At least we tend to say what we mean, unlike women.

Unfortunately, I cannot visualise what it is like to be a man from someone else's perspective. I can whole heartedly say from my male perspective that I disagree with you. In fact, I'd like to point out that you can in no way categorise other people based on the way that you may act. Nor can you assume that all of our thought processes work in the same way as yours.

If you are going to make such bold statements, I suggest you get some solid evidence to back up your claims.

Originally posted by Andy78
Unfortunately, I cannot visualise what it is like to be a man from someone else's perspective. I can whole heartedly say from my male perspective that I disagree with you. In fact, I'd like to point out that you can in no way categorise other people based on the way that you may act. Nor can you assume that all of our thought processes work in the same way as yours.

No, you are, of course, right. I cannot speak for all men. I will admit that there MAY be some men out there who would never do anything that would lead them to be labeled a *******.

I've yet to meet one though. I admit to doing things that would have me labeled as such, and I know that all my friends are the same.

I too used to think I was different, that I'm not like all men... but one day I thought about the way I acted and realised I was just like those other men that I scorned for being so mean. Maybe not to the same degree, but I still do the same things.

Originally posted by Snook
No, you are, of course, right. I cannot speak for all men. I will admit that there MAY be some men out there who would never do anything that would lead them to be labeled a *******.

I've yet to meet one though. I admit to doing things that would have me labeled as such, and I know that all my friends are the same.

I too used to think I was different, that I'm not like all men... but one day I thought about the way I acted and realised I was just like those other men that I scorned for being so mean. Maybe not to the same degree, but I still do the same things.

I think everyone does things at some point in their lives that can be viewed as unsavoury. Bit, I think it's a little harsh to label someone a ******* generally because of the odd, one off event that is out of character.

Originally posted by kathythebean
Men are not ********! This is a really unfair thread! The only way a man will treat you bad is if you let him. And you shouldn't make a man calling you so important that it makes you all upset. Do not wait by the phone, girl! You should be thinking 'good, i'm glad he didnt call me cos I really dont have time at the moment because I'm busy with my hobby/career/friends/huge bottle of wine/partying the night away/voluntary work/family - then when the right one does come along you will know he is the right one, because he will be worth giving up some of your precious time for, and you'll also know that if he treats you bad you'll just be able to walk away from him to an equally thrilling single life :)

Beautifully put! Hels respect and love yourself...you don't need a man, especially not one who treats you badly. Walk away girl, nobody has the right to disrespect you.

Originally posted by Lucy_Smith
Beautifully put! Hels respect and love yourself...you don't need a man, especially not one who treats you badly. Walk away girl, nobody has the right to disrespect you.

Nobody has the right to disrespect the man's wife either, so howcome "Hels" is doing this anyway?

Originally posted by t020
Nobody has the right to disrespect the man's wife either, so howcome "Hels" is doing this anyway?

Possibly a case of: It's ok for me to give it out but heaven forbid I should have to take it in any way, shape or form. Me me me me me me me me ...... God save us all.

One thing I don't understand about men and I have to say wish I could do is the following..

How can they walk away from a relaionship and disregard their feelings so easily?

I really wish I could do it.

we can only ever talk from experience and of all the men in my life right now i know all have been unfaithful at some point during current or past relationships whereas its only one or two girls that i know that have done the same. I don't know for a fact if this is reflective of society as a whole but you can see why women such as myself have such a low opinion of men.

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
One thing I don't understand about men and I have to say wish I could do is the following..

How can they walk away from a relaionship and disregard their feelings so easily?

I really wish I could do it.

are you referring to sex?

Probably because women link it closely with the feeling of love, whereas men don't make such a strong link between the two. Maybe it's something to do with our brains not communicating across the two hemisphere's as efficiently (although that's just wild speculation on my part).

Originally posted by Lurch
Sounds familiar, glad I'm not the only one!

Hels, it's human nature, everyone is a complete and utter *******, you just don't always see it in action. :wink:

Unfortunately, I think Lurch is right here - however nice some one is on the surface, deep down we're all selfish creatures. When the need arises, virtually all of us are ruthlessly determined our genes are the ones that will survive. We are all the descendants of the winners in the evolution game - ie the most ruthless - it's literally 'in our genes'.

Men just tend to be more blatant in not being afraid to display this ruthlessness.

This does not excuse or justify someone behaving like a *******, or make such behaviour acceptable in any way - it merely explains it.

StarSparkle :( - clearly not having a good week!

I think she was referring to relationships in general.
If I'm right in the way I understood it, Bruciesbabe thinks that men seem to find it easier walking out of relationships (i.e when two people have been seeing, going out with, engaged to each other) for more than just a date or two, more so than women.

I personally dont think this is accurate (from my point of view anyway) it can work both ways just as equally.

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
One thing I don't understand about men and I have to say wish I could do is the following..

How can they walk away from a relaionship and disregard their feelings so easily?

I really wish I could do it.

Funnily enough from my sample group of friends which is pretty much an even split of male/female. I have found that the men seem to hold on to things for longer, quite often years. I know last time I got hurt it took me a good 2 years to level out and be myself again. I think the women seem to be more upset on the outside for a shorter period of time, whereas the men seem to hold a lot under the surface for much longer.

Originally posted by Lee1979
we can only ever talk from experience and of all the men in my life right now i know all have been unfaithful at some point during current or past relationships whereas its only one or two girls that i know that have done the same. I don't know for a fact if this is reflective of society as a whole but you can see why women such as myself have such a low opinion of men.

In my experience I have found this to be the opposite. However, I accept that my experience is not a valid reflection of society as a whole. I come back to what I said earlier; people can be nasty regardless of gender. Over the years, I have identified such people within my circle of acquaintances and disregarded their friendship. I now know who I consider to be trustworthy and keep them as the friends I value the most.

In my experience its pretty much equal in the being a Ba*****d Stakes. Both male and female can behave this way.

Some of my female friends are behaving in the most devious way behind their partners backs so don't get caught where as the men seem to be not as devious so get found out then called a B*****d.

I am lucky enough to have a decent bloke and I am sure there are some amongst the Forum members and I do think it's a shame to have another man bashing thread. If we are not careful girls we could end up with a woman bashing thread.

Lets just agree like in all things there are good and bad in all kinds. :thumbsup:

True - you could just as easily ask "why are all women devious, manipulative, lying, gold digging k*ck teases"?

The simple answer is they aren't and all men aren't paragons of wonderfullness either - welcome to the wonderfull world of being human!

Why are there so many topics like this?? Yawn.

We are not all the same, women! Get over yourselves!

Think I must be in a bad mood today, ignore me if you must. I've not had much sleep.

I can see the discusssion has moved on since I left it this morning but I am still going to use my right of reply to DaB... and then I'll take a scroll and catch up with it ...

Originally posted by DaBouncer
Cheap shot? I take it the smilie didn't mean anything to you Ruby the little tongue smilie? You know... it looks like this :P
It means tongue in cheek.
If my comment offends you... well that's your problem not mine I'm afraid. As it happens (and really you should know this) the time of the month for women can make some very hormonal causing some to make rash and un-thoughtout judgements. Hels post could have easily been one and my comment is perfectly valid (whether you agree or not). It doesn't ruin may argument, it adds a little humour and factual based information to the debate to be perfectly frank. :D

You can say whatever you like about your own thoughts on your comments. As you say, I'm still free to make a judgment about them and whether they are factual and/or humorous or merely sexist.

I did notice the :P yes, and it's a device commonly used by people who want to make a disparaging comment and then say they meant it jokingly or tongue in cheek.

IMO, a comment like yours about women generally makes about as much sense as the orginal question. I could equally say that men make rash and "unthoughtout" judgments every day of the month - caused by their excess of testosterone. But I won't :P

Originally posted by rubydazzler
I can see the discusssion has moved on since I left it this morning but I am still going to use my right of reply to DaB... and then I'll take a scroll and catch up with it ...



You can say whatever you like about your own thoughts on your comments. As you say, I'm still free to make a judgment about them and whether they are factual and/or humorous or merely sexist.

I did notice the :P yes, and it's a device commonly used by people who want to make a disparaging comment and then say they meant it jokingly or tongue in cheek.

IMO, a comment like yours about women generally makes about as much sense as the orginal question. I could equally say that men make rash and "unthoughtout" judgments every day of the month - caused by their excess of testosterone. But I won't :P

You may be right... but where is my comment is based on fact and yours is just to try and gain some recognition (i.e. save face).

To be fair... I couldn't give a monkeys... people will after all make up their own mind!

Originally posted by DaBouncer
You may be right... but where is my comment is based on fact and yours is just to try and gain some recognition (i.e. save face).To be fair... I couldn't give a monkeys... people will after all make up their own mind!

loving it!!! :P

Originally posted by rubydazzler
loving it!!! :P
Me too :P

I too know men and women who are clingy, who hold onto things too long after they have broken up with people, who suffer broken hearts for years after their exes have moved on.

And I know men and women who sleep around, don't take care of people's feelings, think they're the best person in the world etc etc.

Its not a gender thing its a personality thing.

Originally posted by t020
Nobody has the right to disrespect the man's wife either, so howcome "Hels" is doing this anyway?

Totally agree with you...I would never get involved with anybody in a relationship, on the basis that if they can do that to their partner then they can do it to you as well! But hey, some people may be deluded that they are the special "one" when in fact they are just a string of people the certain person in question is playing. But Hels hasn't really explicitly stated this person is married so I didn't want to be too judgemental, but if he is the only sympathy I really have is with this poor guy's wife.

But as Kathy has so nicely put, this isn't a man thing, it's a personality thing. Some people have no morals and mess their partners around terribly, but I have met just as many women as men who do this.

:blush: :blush: :blush: :blush:

Firstly, I am really really sorry to all the people I offended with my thread/posts.

Some of you are so right - I'd had a bit too much to drink and yes, it is that time of the month!!!

It was something and nothing that got blown out of all proportion and I'm not actually having a relationship with anyone (married or single)!

I have some fab friends, male and female and once again can only apologise - guess the drinks are on me at the next meet - if I dare show my face ...

:)

Originally posted by Hels
Some of you are so right - I'd had a bit too much to drink and yes, it is that time of the month!!!

In your ****ing face Ruby!

Sorry to gloat Hels.
The apology is well recieved and fully appreciated. I apologise if I got the wrong end of the stick about the marriage thing.

We'll just put it down to experience and move on... after all... we're only human :D

PS... come down to VIP tonight with your mates and I'll pop you all on the guest list for nowt if you fancy some good music with a great crown of people.

A woman I work with got an e-mail today, and part of it read:

"If you want a committed man, look in a mental home"

Says it all really....lol

:P

Can I just say that in my defence, my post was not a criticism of men, I just think its a different way of coping.

Although I have been burned with every man I have had a relationship with, I beleive its just that I've been unlucky - although I have learned alot.

There are as many lovely men and women out there as there are unlovely ones.

x

Can I say that some men also suffer from PMT - otherwise known as Pre-match Tension!!! :hihi:

That is so true dawny1. Its actually quite enertaining to watch!

Why are men so horrible to women ?
I suppose because it's so easy to be , in most cases.
Most women I've met , are instinctively little "nest builders ". Their lives tend to centre round the home and lots of them are always nagging their menfolk to put up a shelf or dig the garden. What is one of the lowest status , lowest paid jobs in the world ? Cleaning ! .Yet lots of women love scrubbing and dusting as if their little lives depended on it. A lot don't like going out to pubs .....etc.....as it's a threat to the Nest and the money could be better spent on some "nice new curtains ".
Few women know how to discuss anything. If , for example you are discussing the state of transport in City X , they're apt to say , "Well , I travelled to Z one day last week and it was a perfect journey . " They tend to personalise everything.
Not every woman is like the above examples but if you are , well , that is why your Saint-like husband sometimes loses it and is "really , really horrible " to you.

Abit late on this thread but it i thought i might aswell share my experiances, mainly bad but i suppose love hurts sometimes.

I was in a long distance relationship a few years back with a lady from london, we spent what time we could together.

I drove down to be with her every other weekend and made a 110% effort to please her and make sure we were both ok with our relationship etc.

Gradually my work load began to increase meaning i was doing alot more travelling during the week and was left pretty much tired on the weekends, yet i still made the effort to drive and be with her.

To cut a long story short she went cold on me and texted me explaining she had some family issues and for me to respect her wishes and give her space and time and for me not to contact her. I found it strange but i loved her and trusted her 100%... so i did just that....... weeks turned into a month and i was really worried about her, could it have been a loss of a parent etc?

Soon i realised it was over and i just couldnt get my head around the idea that she did it by text without reason! I would never ever do that to anybody let alone the one i loved.

It took me awhile to get over what had happened and me being a sensitive guy it didnt help.

I soon realised it wasnt to be and that it was never really a fair relationship.

A year after we split (well me being dumped) i got a text off her saying that her love for me had never died and that she would explain soon, obviously was alittle confused and in a nother bothered mood, after all this was a year after she ended it....i honestly had moved on and gotten over what had happened, well what she did to me basically.

She then tells me the samething again when i asked questions like why etc? she just texted me and said not to contact her blah blah blah .... what a physco!

Anyway this really killed what confidence i had with women and made me even more shy than i was before.

I also have been going through some family problems at home with my parents as their marridge has failed (arranged muslim marridge)..... its a long story which i may explain some other time, this was a real low point in my life.... just felt very alone at times and kept asking myself why oh why or if i had done something wrong perhaps.

Right thats what happened then....... ive had a few dates inbetween and had another "love" relationship until AGAIN i kind of got dumped by text! she thought she had feelings for me but changed her mind.... how much more hurt can one man take?

I now know ive not done anything wrong as ive been told most that women would love to be with a guy like me, or so im told.

I dont really have any bad points that spring to mind..... except maybe i cant cook...... up for learning anyway so its not a big point.

Towards the end of 2004 family issues got worse and i just got fed up with all the hassle and i decided to bite the bullit and move out.

I dont know how but ive mananged to buy my own place but ive done it, and moved in this feb. :)

It feels lonely at times but im sure i`ll get used to it..... doesnt take much to keep the place clean etc

I took a 10 month break from my job from Jan 2004 and worked at the family shops and just taking life at a slower pace.

Went back into my old Job as a EPOS engineer beginning of this year and at the moment im coping well.

But i find that when women hurt my heart it really does effect my life... work, the way i feel about myself... confidence etc.

Im not saying women are horrible but it works both ways.... men and women can hurt each other just as equally....

Love hurts! what more can i say?

I took my first "real" big step to start a social life by joining up here and going out to meets.

Everybody is wonderful and i like to think we get on well.
Im naturally a outgoing person so dont really have trouble.
Its helped me become less shy and build up my confidence.

So now im back on my feet..... home, career, feeling alot beter within myself im on the search for the lady of my dreams....

Lets hope its not another heartbreaker!

I know that i would never intensionally hurt a lady no matter who they are and what they have done.... i wouldnt get involved with somebody if i didnt feel anything towards them.
Looking for something longterm rather than the one night stand.

Maybe thats why men hurt women? because they have been hurt in the past and feel they can do or act the same to somehow justify their hurt?

Phew....... i think thats enough for this post....

Riz

i have to say Riz .. I think it's really brave of you to open your heart to us like this. Don't be discouraged, for every few people that hurt you there is another one would never do anything bad ... that one person more than makes up for the "horrible" people.

Having said that, I don't really believe that most people in a relationship are "horrible or nasty". If the feelings are there, nothing can keep you apart and if they're not both sexes can be just as unfeeling and uncaring in the way they end things or the way they treat you.

I've been dumped and I've been the dumper ... but as the dumper I've always tried to let him down lightly and not always been honest about why. I think we owe that to the person we're splitting up with, but I have had men just vanish on me in the past and that's hard to fathom ...

I think the worst mistake anyone can make when ending a relationship is to think that they can make up a reason that will hurt someone less than the truth.

The trouble is, you can see through the lie straight away, so then you are hurt twice, first by not knowing what went wrong or you have done wrong and second by knowing that you have been lied to.

And don't try and justify it to yourself by thinking "all men are ********" (or women if you are a man, or whatever if you are of a different orientation)

I can see your point Yoda .. but who was it who said in a very loud voice in some film or other ...

"The truth? You can't HANDLE the truth!"

Ok we all know that when someone says to you "Look, honestly, it's not you, it's ME" that they really mean it's you ... but I prefer to be lied to .... ok?

So if anyone watching this is ever in a position to dump me ... be nice ok? please lie ... :P

I think men and women can be equally heartless/thoughtless - as others have said earlier in the thread, it's not a question of gender but of personality.

StarSparkle

Originally posted by StarSparkle
it's not a question of gender but of personality.

very much so!

(cant be arsed with big arguement lol...i think that bit sums it up well)

Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?


A: They can't stand seeing a man have a good time.

Originally posted by StarSparkle
Unfortunately, I think Lurch is right here - however nice some one is on the surface, deep down we're all selfish creatures. When the need arises, virtually all of us are ruthlessly determined our genes are the ones that will survive. We are all the descendants of the winners in the evolution game - ie the most ruthless - it's literally 'in our genes'.

Men just tend to be more blatant in not being afraid to display this ruthlessness.

This does not excuse or justify someone behaving like a *******, or make such behaviour acceptable in any way - it merely explains it.

StarSparkle :( - clearly not having a good week!

Originally posted by StarSparkle
I think men and women can be equally heartless/thoughtless - as others have said earlier in the thread, it's not a question of gender but of personality.

StarSparkle

Yep !

Oh dear! I must have been on a real downer when I wrote that first posting :( - I do apologise for being so bleak

Please ignore that posting of mine :|

StarSparkle

women are more horrible to men - Men tend to use physical violence which is usually over in minutes, whereas women use phychological torment that lasts years.

Find me one man who could sustain anything longer than one weekend and I'll show you a liar!

As a non-violent type I can't even resort to the usual male route - it's hopeless:(

Oh dear, maybe I shouldn't have asked about the next meet in the Devonshire Cat. :wink:

Take it easy. Sometimes you feel more for someone than they feel for you. Might be a bit crappy but its the way things are. If he's not that bothered he probably won't text or call. Oh well, if he doesn't do that why should you be bothered?

Am I bothered? Do I look like I'm bothered? Am I bothered?

Vicky:wink:

I`m not horrible to women...... does that help?

Riz :)

It would be nice to actually meet someone! Lately I've become really shy when it comes to asking women out, I just choke up and can't think of a thing to say (which is never usually the case!)

But my experience is once you have someone that you care and love, you'll have your arguments and disagreements but to intentially harm them is just plain wrong.

There are guys out there that are decent fella's - don't give up hope!

Ive been through this, was told by her she loved me and i loved her... blah blah blah then se suddenly realises she doesnt love me... hurts me and thats it...

Life goes on... im getting out more and building my confidence up slowly.

Hang in there, it will get better as time passes.

Riz

:o:o:o SS!! You never swear do you?

Who's SS?

If you're referring to me, yes, of course I do!

Not as much as you seem to though... :suspect:

StarSparkle

Who's SS?

If you're referring to me, yes, of course I do!

Not as much as you seem to though... :suspect:

StarSparkle

now THAT is an impressive satellite delay!

now THAT is an impressive satellite delay!

The Mods were as quick as lightning this evening - but not QUITE quick enough! :P

Mr Kiddick does like his little 'jokes'

StarSparkle

Why are men so horrible to women?

because society does not value women, in the way that it values men and women do little to challenge this....essentially buying into cultural sterotypes.

if women started respecting each other, the rest of the world would follow.

because society does not value women, in the way that it values men and women do little to challenge this....essentially buying into cultural sterotypes.

if women started respecting each other, the rest of the world would follow.

Sorry to say, but there is a lot of truth in this. :(

Women are far too divided amongst ourselves, and it's just so easy for men to play 'divide and conquer'.

StarSparkle

Why are men so horrible to women?

probably because you let them, if you didn't stand for it you wouldn't be asking this question. If he's giving you greif just ask if he'd like to see his mum / sister treated the same way

Why are men so horrible to women?

They aren't

because society does not value women, in the way that it values men ...
Really?
I get the opposite feeling.... that (particularly young) men are generally considered almost disposible. 'women and children first' and all that.

Yes... men are all horrible. We do nothing but treat women like crap and nothing gives us great pleasure. A bit of a generalisation, I treat people how I would like to be treated. Could argue that all women are horrible cos I have been treat like crap recently, but I know that's not the case.

in what context?

I think it;s the type of man, i have never had a fella who has been horrible to me, only had horribleness (is that a word lol) from strangers and other road users....

think trouble is that when you have been in the situation (as either male or female )where the opposite sex has treated you very badly its hard not to believe they are all not the same, even though in your heart you know there is good and bad in both.

I think men can be very insensitive and unaware that they are being so upsetting. And then they wonder why you don't talk to them, but it's because they're so impatient and abrupt.

and people are all so scared of making a fool of themselves that some times things are never talked about so misunderstandings become magnified, results in hurt all round.

I think men can be very insensitive and unaware that they are being so upsetting. And then they wonder why you don't talk to them, but it's because they're so impatient and abrupt.

Not a bad post for a girl, but shouldn't you be doing the housework instead of posting on here? Hubby's tea won't cook itself you know!

Don't worry, I'm typing one handed on a laptop with the other chained to the oven.

Not a bad post for a girl, but shouldn't you be doing the housework instead of posting on here? Hubby's tea won't cook itself you know!

:love: You need to Marry me you have such a way with words ....

:love: You need to Marry me you have such a way with words ....

But he's not nearly patronising enough - the proper term is "girlie", not "girl" :hihi:

:love: You need to Marry me you have such a way with words ....

My silver tongue has pleasured many a lady......;)

But he's not nearly patronising enough - the proper term is "girlie", not "girl" :hihi:

Actually 'young lady' is the most patronising term!

"Actually 'young lady' is the most patronising term!"

How about "my dear girl"? Especially when said by a politician to a forty something radio interviewer for example?

I think women think men are horrible because women only bother with the horrible men. The nice guys are on the shelf as "not manly enough" and have to train themselves to be a bit less nice.

Dear girl is bad.

How about wench? Or woman said in a derrogatory way. I HATE that.

Dear girl is bad.

How about wench? Or woman said in a derrogatory way. I HATE that.

Useful post from a bit of skirt, there. Wonder if her bloke told her what to put?

Useful post from a bit of skirt, there. Wonder if her bloke told her what to put?She should get a job in a pub - then we could call her "serving wench" :hihi:

myself i can't stand "bird" as a term for woman

myself i can't stand "bird" as a term for woman

Or "broad." Unless Frank Sinatra says it, and he can't because he's dead.

[QUOTE=Code13;2790284]"Actually 'young lady' is the most patronising term!" ....QUOTE]

Not when you're 55 it ain't! Then it's just plain bleddy sarcasm :hihi:

Useful post from a bit of skirt, there. Wonder if her bloke told her what to put?

Surely he'd have been too busy telling her to get back into the kitchen? :hihi: