Jabberwocky
14-07-2008, 09:54
I bathe daily because Im a good and clean little boy who likes to keep his orifices clean, I also shave daily now because in recent months Ive become a bit of a nancy, and this is all well and good, but theres a smoke alarm inserted into the ceiling in the hallway outside the bathroom door.
Now, I like to use a lot of smellies, I have aftershave, deodorant and crap like that in ample amounts in the bathroom, and In recent weeks, once Ive finished my ABLUTIONS (Posh or what?) and walked into the hallway, I get half way down the stairs when the alarms start shrilling.
The sound is ear-piercing and I have extremely sensitive hearing so I immediately lose my rag and pick on anyone within a three mile radius of me and that pretty much ruins my day.
Aparrantly the microscopic particles of deodorant hit the sensor of the alarm and set it off, it thinks its smoke, and that sets the alarm off.
Trouble is, my OH is five feet two and Im five feet six so its a bloody stretch to press the button on the alarm to stop its bloody howling, and by the time I get back up the stairs, muttering and swearing to myself and stand on tip toes to press the little button, half the neighbourhood is out to see what the racket is all about.
Then theres the alarms reluctance to stop, I have to stand there for about five minutes with my finger on the button pushing like mad as my achilles tendons start to scream at the 17 and a half stones of Jabberwock balancing on them and eventually they give way for a second and my finger slips off the button...
That means I have to stand there for ANOTHER five minutes until the howling ceases.
I COULD stand on a little stool that we use for standing on to change lightbulbs but the alarm is right on the edge of the stairs, and although Im only about six inches higher on the stool, looking down a three-flight stair well looks like peeking off the top of Blackpool tower.
Erm...
I forgot what the point of all this is now... Ill be back later to continue my waffle...
Now, I like to use a lot of smellies, I have aftershave, deodorant and crap like that in ample amounts in the bathroom, and In recent weeks, once Ive finished my ABLUTIONS (Posh or what?) and walked into the hallway, I get half way down the stairs when the alarms start shrilling.
The sound is ear-piercing and I have extremely sensitive hearing so I immediately lose my rag and pick on anyone within a three mile radius of me and that pretty much ruins my day.
Aparrantly the microscopic particles of deodorant hit the sensor of the alarm and set it off, it thinks its smoke, and that sets the alarm off.
Trouble is, my OH is five feet two and Im five feet six so its a bloody stretch to press the button on the alarm to stop its bloody howling, and by the time I get back up the stairs, muttering and swearing to myself and stand on tip toes to press the little button, half the neighbourhood is out to see what the racket is all about.
Then theres the alarms reluctance to stop, I have to stand there for about five minutes with my finger on the button pushing like mad as my achilles tendons start to scream at the 17 and a half stones of Jabberwock balancing on them and eventually they give way for a second and my finger slips off the button...
That means I have to stand there for ANOTHER five minutes until the howling ceases.
I COULD stand on a little stool that we use for standing on to change lightbulbs but the alarm is right on the edge of the stairs, and although Im only about six inches higher on the stool, looking down a three-flight stair well looks like peeking off the top of Blackpool tower.
Erm...
I forgot what the point of all this is now... Ill be back later to continue my waffle...