Hello,

Ok, I need some advice...

How can I mend my broken heart when I see the person who broke it every day? I work with them in a very small office, side by side and I have to say its taking everything I have to go to work in the morning. Used to live with them too (now back with family). I thought he was the one.

I am looking for a new job, but not having much luck at the mo.

I've made some fab new friends from the forum, but i'm still really unhappy as I have to face it every day and can't move on!

My aunt says the best way to get over someone is to get under someone... you have to love her.... but its not that easy.

Help!

Kill the other person and defile their corpse, that should help.

mmm tempting?? but I was hoping for some helpful advice..

Send a giant bunch of flowers to yourself at work.

You get the flowers and he will be tortured wanting to know who sent them.

It all sounds very sad. I hope you are OK.

If you can afford it, jump ship and leave work now. Leave it all behind you and move on. Things will get better in time.

This must be an awful situation for you to find yourself in. Not really sure what additional advice to give you - I think that you finding another job soonish would help you get over him - are you on talking terms with him still? If so, has he talked about looking for another job? I can imagine that the atmosphere at work is tense to say the least.

I know it might be hard but try and put on a brave front - try not to let him see that this situation is getting to you - be confident, lively and talkative etc - that's what I would do anyway.

Time is a great healer - good luck and let us know how you get on. :smile:

Why should you leave ?
Get him sacked by putting porn on his PC then grassing him up.

Thanks Deavon,

I'm ok out of work, but feel desperate when I have to get up to come to work or when it comes to Sunday evening.

I hate feeling like this coz i'm usually full of beans, but not at the mo.

Unfortunately I can't leave work without having another job to go to.

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
Hello,

Ok, I need some advice...

How can I mend my broken heart when I see the person who broke it every day? I work with them in a very small office, side by side and I have to say its taking everything I have to go to work in the morning. Used to live with them too (now back with family). I thought he was the one.

I am looking for a new job, but not having much luck at the mo.

I've made some fab new friends from the forum, but i'm still really unhappy as I have to face it every day and can't move on!

My aunt says the best way to get over someone is to get under someone... you have to love her.... but its not that easy.

Help!
I was in the same situation a few years ago. I got another job, moved back home for a while then rented a flat with new friends I had made. Lets say I never looked back.
The irony is I am married now with two children and know my ex's new partner.
I'm very fortunate to have moved on.
Look at it in a different light and that everything on it's way to you is new and exciting, then it soon will be.
Plus...............Time.

I'm trying to put a brave face on, but its really hard.

He won't leave and yes we are on talking terms, but thats hard too. I just want to love him and cuddle him. Its not just the relationship, I've lost his friendship too and I hate it.

I am trying to look forward and I'm busy looking for a new job. I know you are all right when you say time is a great healer.

I know It'l be easier when I get a new job, theres just nothing around at the mo - that I wanna do anyway!

Bloody hearts - who'd ave em!

x

What's the barrier in getting a new job? If it's just money, then take a drop in salary - if a new job pays less, well look at the lack of stress as a non-financial benefit.

If it's hard finding a better or same job, then make sure you aren't turning good opportunities away just because it would take you away from your safe routine (and the fella in question). There's no shame in taking a sideways career step, or changing directions altogether - new starts all round!

You've got to find alternative work ASAP. While you're seeing him frequently, you're not giving your wounds time to heal. I guess you already know this though.

Have you thought about revenge? That's always good for helping me sort my feelings out. Before reading any further, can I offer a word of caution? Don't do anything illegal, but make life as uncomfortable as possible for him. Then he might be the one looking for alternative work!

In you situation I'd possible start by starting a rumour around the office that he didn't 'measure up'. Even if it's not true, all men get a bit paranoid about this.

Then of course, there's the classic, 'I've been to the 'clinic', I really think you should go too'; that can be a real winner.

Do you have any 'entertaining' photos? Post them to his Mom / boss / friends in the rugby team. Always good for a laugh.

Finally, while you are still seeing him, make yourself a list of do's and dont's. Things you need to consider for this list are

Always look your absolute best when you're going to e around him.
Never ask him how he is.
If he pays you a compliment, never say thank you.
If he tells you someone in his family has died, don't say 'I'm sorry', just say 'Oh'.
Never, ever feel sorry for him.

You get the idea! Good luck anyway!

K x

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
I am trying to look forward and I'm busy looking for a new job. I know you are all right when you say time is a great healer.

I know It'l be easier when I get a new job, theres just nothing around at the mo - that I wanna do anyway!

Bloody hearts - who'd ave em!

x

I took a terrible job, with terrible pay just to move away quickly (he was my boss)
Things soon turned around and turned out better than ever.

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
I'm trying to put a brave face on, but its really hard.

He won't leave and yes we are on talking terms, but thats hard too. I just want to love him and cuddle him. Its not just the relationship, I've lost his friendship too and I hate it.

I was in exactly the same situation as this very recently; you have got to move yourself away from him! Don't show weakness, and don't EVER feel sorry for him if you hurt him in the process!

Originally posted by bonny
I took a terrible job, with terrible pay just to move away quickly (he was my boss)
Things soon turned around and turned out better than ever.

failing all this.....

sprinkle cress seeds on his carpet and add water!

then watch it grow.

prawns in curtain linings.

Although it's better to just leave it all behind.

The job thing -

I don't want to take a pay cut coz I'm looking to buy a house, so can't afford too.

I love what I'm doing too - Project Manager and Quality Manager, so I want to stay in this kinda area - thats why job hunting is being a mare.

I'm gonna try ure points Kristian - looking fab and being distant etc.

Blimey, I pity anyone involved with you two!! You are wicked (but highly amusing)!! :o

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
The job thing -

I don't want to take a pay cut coz I'm looking to buy a house, so can't afford too.

I love what I'm doing too - Project Manager and Quality Manager, so I want to stay in this kinda area - thats why job hunting is being a mare.

I'm gonna try ure points Kristian - looking fab and being distant etc.

Never been described as 'looking fab and distant' before; thanks, I'll add that to my description on my dating profile! :D

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
Thanks Deavon,

I'm ok out of work, but feel desperate when I have to get up to come to work or when it comes to Sunday evening.

I hate feeling like this coz i'm usually full of beans, but not at the mo.

Unfortunately I can't leave work without having another job to go to.

I know it's not an easy thing, but I'd suggest you leave work asap. It sounds to me like you're running the risk of developing depression, and believe me, you do NOT want to risk that. I was in a job I absolutely HATED and dreaded going in to work every day, but I stuck it out for the length of the contract. Looking back now, I know I should have got the h*** out for my health's sake - and to be honest, your situation sounds a lot more difficult than mine.

On a lighter note, take your aunt's advice - I think she's quite right! :o :thumbsup:

Good luck

StarSparkle

Originally posted by feargal
Blimey, I pity anyone involved with you two!! You are wicked (but highly amusing)!! :o

Revege is no game Fergie; you know my motto: 'If you dump by the sword, you die by the sword'. Well that's a tad grandiose, perhaps 'You dump by the sword, you feel miserable, frightened and hopefully think twice before crossing me again' would be better! :D

Originally posted by feargal
Blimey, I pity anyone involved with you two!! You are wicked (but highly amusing)!! :o

yes, my husband behaves himself for fear of reprisal!!!
:D

if it is that bad - you need to get away, far away. I agree with StarSparkle.

I went to america working and travelling for 4 months after i had my heart broken and when i came back i had nothing. I started from scratch with a new job and a new housemates and now i really love my life. I've met so many new people who i love to bits (hello all!!) and i 'm having such fun. I had to change my life to get over him but i'm glad i did it because now i'm me!!

I know you want to get your house and love your job but for the sake of your health and sanity - get out. Walk into a temp agency, get something to keep you going for now, go travelling, sort yourself out and return fresh, new and a happier person.

Above all remember this : it will get better. I promise.

I know you are right re. leaving my job, but I can't until I find somat else to move to. I may consider the travelling thing - I love America, so may do some investigation there.

x

Take this as a fantastic opportunity to radically reorganise your life!
Sit down and give some long and hard thought to where you are, who you are and where you are going. Is this where you want to be, is this who you want to be? If you can conceive of something better, go for it. Start planning, small steps and all that. Getting from A (here and now) to B (where you want to be) might mean going through x, y and z but each step will take you closer. Want to go traveling? Sod the USA-too easy! Set yourself a challenge. Get a TEFL certificate and go teaching in Brazil or Thailand. I guarantee you'll shed your old self in a matter of months and the new you, forged out of your actions, will be the real you.
Go on, get on google, do a search for TEFL qualifications and get the ball rolling.
Drop us a line in 6 months telling us how ace it's all been!

Go on - aim really high in your job search! I know loads of people who have got their dream job by talking themselves up (whilst secretly pooping themselves at their lack of actual qualifications for the job!)

Brucies Babe, the answer is simple.

You pm me, we arrange a tryst, you fall for me, we are halfway there with our sign names, and Robert's ya dad's brother.

Sorted

Thanks Bruce, but I guess u maybe right...

A fabulous man coming to whisk me off my feet is possibly what the Dr ordered

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
A fabulous man coming to whisk me off my feet is possibly what the Dr ordered

Now where did I leave my Bike :huh:

Dee :heyhey:

Hey u,

Its u, Duff and Sian that have kept me sane.

xx

Originally posted by BruciesBabe
Its u, Duff and Sian that have kept me sane.

I do apologise for that :suspect:

Keep smiling come Saturday :thumbsup:

I'll defo be there on Sat, we'll have to sort out details nearer the time.

Having been a somewhat similar situation - I'm not sure you do get over it though it does get less intense with time. While some hideous revenge scheme may feel good to at the moment if you do it you will almost certainly regret it and for a long time.

The best you can do is get out ASAP - as a project manager you should have no problem finding another job as good ones are always in short supply.

Whatever happens good luck and I hope you get some good sticking plaster soon (can I recomend chocolate and a good "all men are b*stards night!)

Well I certainly sympathies with you, I find myself in a very similar position to you my husband walked out on me just 3 weeks ago after nearly 21 years of marriage, his words I have had enough and my life is a mess I hate my Job blah blah, I showed no sign of emotion when he left and have put on a brave face every time he has come to pick up our youngest son while wanting to kill him for being so damn selfish :mad:, there is no way he is going to get me down :).

Take a good look at your life, ask yourself what you want and where you want to be, its better that you do this now than find yourself in my position 40 years old and about to start my life over again.

If i were you i would go on a sunshine holiday with some mates come back with a fantastic tan, get a new hair cut, have your nails done, get some new clothes for work. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends start leading a single life again (wish i could) and then go back to work after 2 weeks off and make him wish he was still with you, be confident and don't change your job - why should you. Show him what he's missing out on make this a new beginning. Just like the visa advert where she goes to her mates wedding and he's blown away with her.

Only my view but that's what i would do. You only get one shot in life it's soon over and you should make the most of it. Best of luck.

Originally posted by girty
If i were you i would go on a sunshine holiday with some mates come back with a fantastic tan, get a new hair cut, have your nails done, get some new clothes for work. Go out and enjoy yourself with your friends start leading a single life again (wish i could) and then go back to work after 2 weeks off and make him wish he was still with you, be confident and don't change your job - why should you. Show him what he's missing out on make this a new beginning. Just like the visa advert where she goes to her mates wedding and he's blown away with her.

Only my view but that's what i would do. You only get one shot in life it's soon over and you should make the most of it. Best of luck.

Couldn't agree more! Good Luck!

Although I agree with you, I can't stay here, at my current job. I can't move on with my life at the mo.

In that case BB do what you need to do and I hope you find another job - without taking a pay cut.

Doesn't mean though that you can't do a bit of what girty (<is that your real name or a bit of rhyming slang?!) suggests.

When you're in that situation yeah its important to sort out your head and make some changes in your life...but dont forget to treat yourself often and make yourself feel special!

Bit of rhyming there for you!!

How about taking a massive step and doing something totally different like training to be an air hostess or holiday rep. That should certainly take your mind off him!

Get yourself out and about with friends who care for you, have a really good night, let your hair down and slag off all the men who are selfish b**tards.

Whatever happens good luck and I hope you get some good sticking plaster soon (can I recomend chocolate and a good "all men are b*stards night!)

Jobwise, put an ad with your credentials on the jobs wanted page on the forum, I'm sure there are sites where you can post your CV who'd be glad to snap up someone like you.

You can do this, you will get over him and this time next year, you'll be laughing about how upset you were over this stupid bloke.

All of us only get so many trips around the sun, before our time is up and you've got many many more to come.

I think there has been some great advice on here. Make a new start, stick with good friends and realise how much you've got to look forward to. Also don't look at it as running away from any problems; you've simply decided to move on to the next point in you own personel journey.



[Hippy blood runs through my viens ya know!]

Really sorry to hear about your circumstances BruciesBabe.

I think Dr Neil is right where you might not expect the wound to ever entirely heal.

Sparkle made some good points also among others.

Nice to hear that you are not having to deal with it all on your own.

However you go on to deal with this hurdle, revenge, bitterness and showboating around the office are certainly not the way of making yourself feel any better about yourself.

You seem to like the forum, thats a good start :thumbsup:

BruciesBabe ... take your auntie's advice ;) and girty's too!

If you enjoy the job you're doing now - put all thoughts of revenge out of your head, laugh and smile just as though you really mean it, date hot men, pretend you're having a lot of fun ... pretty soon - you'll find you're not pretending.

It's always worked for me :banana:

If you don't enjoy the job anyway ... well sort out what it is you really want and head for the light ...superpie is right - we only have one shot ... might as well make it a good one!

Have you tried screaming 'don't leave me!' whilst hanging on to his trouser leg for several hours- I know its a long shot and didn't work for me!
But on the up side the restraining order runs out in 6 years where i will be allowed back into Rhyl town centre. Women!!

Thanks for all the advice guys - I think the first thing I need to do is leave my job. I am so unhappy here at the mo, so that needs to be my first step.

As I've said I've made some good friends from here (the forum) and that has helped a lot.

I'll be out on the raz on Sat night with Deej and Duff etc, so that'l keep me cheery.

Thanks again.

x

why not come to trippet's tonight as well?


:banana:

Always go out with my aunt and unc on a Wed, for a pizza, then a pub quiz - its tradition!

Thanx for the offer those Ruby. I'll hopefully be at the SF meet on Sun though - depending how hungover I am from the random Sat nite!

x