hey.ok so there is this guy i like who i know used to like me as he works with my mate emma,he was going to ask me out but then i didnt see him for about a year,now he is with someone but has recently been saying he wants to finish with her and he isnt happy etc.they live together so it would be a big thing for them to finish coincidentally he began saying to emma that he was un happy around the time i bumped in to him again.i only see him once a week in the pub straight from work on a fri so we are both always driving therefore are never drunk.....any ideas on how i can let him know i am interested without causing trouble between hin and his girlfriend?Cheers Amy x:help:

I'd suggest inserting the occasional full stop into sentences. That way, he'll be able to take a breath and, perhaps, reflect upon the situation. Commas are good also, they slow things down. I'm not sure how grammatically valid it is to drop in a dash - you know, like these two - but it also helps to, well, make it all a little easier to digest. But then, I am old, so what do I know? Take it easy, Tiger. That's my advice to you. Respeck, innit. Lord Snooty.

I think you've given enough information in your post for him to guess at your identity. So if he's a member - problem solved! :D

If not suggest he joins the forum and then he'll see your post ... :)

On the other hand - maybe his partner is already a member? ooooohhhh, let's hope not .... :rolleyes:

Don't tell him he smells of cheese and onion crisps? Get to know him a little better, why would you need to be drunk? Personally i don't think he is unhappy just because he has seen some girl he was once going to ask out a year ago. IMO don't be interested in a man that is attached it will ALWAYS cause trouble. However.. if he does become single the way to let him know is to speak to him. And er good luck, i wouldn't listen to me either but then not listening to me got me where i am today.

lord snooty......no need thanks very much for your helpful and charming advice.Forgive my poor grammer and lack of punctuality.:(

Thanks leddi,i wouldnt tell him he smells of cheese and onion crisps!its one of my favourite quotes of shameless on tv!thankyou again :)

Ruby dazzler i dont think he or his girlfriend will be members as we are from nottingham and as far as i know they have no connections with sheffield!hope not anyways otherwise i have just been as subtle as a brick!A x

Originally posted by dilly
lord snooty......no need thanks very much for your helpful and charming advice.Forgive my poor grammer and lack of punctuality.:(

Surely that's 'punctuation', but hey ho. Bless you, my child and good luck.

Would wait and see how things go for them first,that way no one could say you split them up.

Start a conversation with him, ask how work has been, is he giong on holiday etc; general chat. Once you've been chatting for a bit you could say something like " you know i thought we would get together at one bit, cause i had a soft spot for you.", hey presto! take it from there.


Happy Hunting.:thumbsup:

How about trying not to think about getting involved with this guy whilst he's still with someone?
Why not let him decide that he wants to finish with his current partner before he lines the next one up (which may be you)?

I'd suggest you dont even consider starting an affair either.
(Which Im not saying you are). Once you've started something like that...it could be difficult to get out of and meanwhile he may decide to stay with his current partner. Both women lose and the guy is v happy cos he's getting attention home and away.

Just my humble opinion of course (and not from experience before someone asks!)

Originally posted by LordSnooty
Surely that's 'punctuation', but hey ho. Bless you, my child and good luck.

No, but can't you see it? A new daytime TV gameshow 'Punctuality' - where contestants battle to spot the greengrocer apostrophe in a nail-biting race against the clock. Its got it all, drama, grammar. I'm on edge just thinking about it.

surely a game called puntuality will have contestants battling to turn up somewhere on time?

dave

Hi Dilly,

At the risk of pulling this thread back on topic.... :)

I'd try and keep life as simple as possible here. The guy is still with his partner and although you may feel that they're on last orders at the last chance saloon there's always teh opportunity that they may make it up.

If you start trying to chat this guy up he may feel that he has somewhere to jump to in the event of a split. If he's someone who doesn't like the idea of being partnerless for a while, you may be the perfect rebound love with all that that entails.

And at the risk of sounding callous - you say he was going to ask you out but you didn't see him for a year? Well, we have telephones, letters, e-mails, busses, trains, aeroplanes, smoke-signals.... Just check WHY he didn't ask you out.

Joe

If he's truly unhappy with his live-in girlfriend, then it's up to him to sort out his relationship with her. He may just be having the grumps with his girlfriend at the moment, but to my mind, the fact that he actually lives with her is a form of commitment.
But like threecolours, I suggest you steer clear and let him sort out what he wants to do without getting yourself or your friends involved. If it turns out messy, you don't want to be getting blamed for it all by his girlfriend who would understandably be extremely miffed with him, you and your friends.
Find yourself someone who's free to have a relationship with you without it involving or hurting anyone else.

He's involved with someone else - you know that - so leave well alone!

How would you feel if you were the girlfriend?

If it's not going to work out between them, then that's for them to decide. If you are around once he is 'free' then fine, let him know you're available and if he's interested he may come to you. But babe, get a life! Get out there and meet lots of other people. Don't cheapen yourself by being too available, you will regret it in the end.

There is absolutely no need to get involved with someone who is already in a relationship. Get some self control. Let's face it, if he ends up having a fling with you and dumping his girlfriend he will probably do exactly the same to you 12 months down the line.

Sound advice from threecolours & Hels... I would agree with them both... Wait till this guy is a free agent and is totally available before making moves no matter how subtle...

Affairs are not a good thing... Once trust is broken its very hard to repair... :nono:

I'm a believer too in 'what goes around comes around!'

Dave, I bow to your superiour gameshow. But before I leave the studio....
Dilly, attached blokes - however happily or unhappily attached - should really come with warning stickers.
Also, if you did manage to bag him and your relationship started faltering you'd be looking over your shoulder the whole time wondering who was going to take him off you, knowing he was capable of it.

I disagree with the general concensus here.

You have no responsibility towards his current g/f - if he isn't happy that relationship will end, and if you happen to be the trigger, so what?

The 'you'd be looking over your shoulder' arguement is spurious - it takes no account of this fella's feelings, his situation or anything. If he's willing to end his current relationship to be with you, that tells you no more than that he is unhappy currently and thinks he'd be happy with you. No more, no less.

And, to get back to the original question, I suggest you just come straight out and tell him. Whatever you do, don't wait to see what happens. You only see him once a week - get in there before someone else does!

Originally posted by RichF
The 'you'd be looking over your shoulder' arguement is spurious - it takes no account of this fella's feelings, his situation or anything. If he's willing to end his current relationship to be with you, that tells you no more than that he is unhappy currently and thinks he'd be happy with you. No more, no less.


At the risk of being in a small minority here, I agree with RichF. (Speaking in general terms - I don't want to comment on a specific case).

If a couple are fully committed to each other and truly happy in their relationship, there is no-one else on earth who could break them up. I agree with RichF 100% that 'if he's willing to end his current relationship to be with you, that tells you no more than that he is unhappy currently and thinks he'd be happy with you'.

And he is prepared to turn his life upside down to achieve that.

(If there are children involved, then obviously the situation is different - the feelings of the couple concerned are then not the only factor).

Unfortunately, life is not always as straightforward as we would like :(

StarSparkle

Originally posted by StarSparkle
If there are children involved, then obviously the situation is different - the feelings of the couple concerned are then not the only factor

Staying together "for the children" can, in the long run, cause the children more harm than losing one parent.

Originally posted by nick2
Staying together "for the children" can, in the long run, cause the children more harm than losing one parent.

I agree with you totally, Nick2.

I meant that the situation becomes much more complicated when children are involved, and that the couple's feelings about each other may no longer be the most important factor.

Clearly, if the husband and wife hate each other/are violent, etc then that's not a good environment to brings kids up in.

StarSparkle

It is true that soemtimes an affair can be the trigger someone to end an unhappy relationship, I have seen this happen a couple of times - it makes the attached person realise what they really already know and gives them the motivation to do something about it. I am not condoning affairs, not at all, i have been on the wrong end of one.

What ever you do decide to do be really careful. Do you just really like this guy and want fun or do you love him and think he could be the one? The answer to that question could help you decide what you need to do.

But there again... what if he see's you as a way out of his troubled relationship... He may or could see you as a stepping stone...

Dont let yourself get used... by someone who could be looking for an easy way out...

Grass isnt always greener on the other side... as he may well learn!

If he really likes you, he'll finish with his girlfriend and ask you out. If you can't wait that long then butt in on their relationship so he ends it with her and then you'll be happy at least...

Ive been there and done that and by my response you can tell how bitter i am, please don't take any offense im just telling it straight, how i see it.

So this guy liked you a year ago and wanted to ask you out (but didn't). In the meantime, he's got over you - met someone else and moved in with her - didn't take him long to get over you and move on then eh?

And now decided he's unhappy and wants to end it :gag:

If he is unhappy and wants to end it then that is up to him, but what I am saying is by all means let him know if you fancy him, but for your own sake do not start a relationship with him until he has ended his existing relationship - otherwise he may just decide he can have his cake and eat it - and you'll be the one feeling used.

If the two of you like each and really hit it off then it will happen without you pushing things too quickly.

just to let everyone know....we are now together.He left his girlfriend and we are very happy been together since fri 13 th of may

congratulations :)

Friday 13th eh ! :D

yeah i know!bumped in to him outside the chippy after the pub.His mrs was away and 2 days later he finished with her and moved out :)

Originally posted by dilly
I need help pulling a guy, please help!

You certainly picked the right time of year for it.

Glad it all worked out.

read my post blind date and be VERY careful if you go on faceparty-you have been warned

Originally posted by LordSnooty
I'd suggest inserting the occasional full stop into sentences. That way, he'll be able to take a breath and, perhaps, reflect upon the situation. Commas are good also, they slow things down. I'm not sure how grammatically valid it is to drop in a dash - you know, like these two - but it also helps to, well, make it all a little easier to digest. But then, I am old, so what do I know? Take it easy, Tiger. That's my advice to you. Respeck, innit. Lord Snooty.

Have a day off mate

Originally posted by Lucky_13
Have a day off mate

Sadly, LordSnooty has taken more than a day off, he has had to leave the Forum entirely, owing to real life commitments.

He made many valuable and witty contributions to the Forum, including the above posting, and he's very much missed. :(

Remind me, who are you?

StarSparkle

hi im lucky been around for a while cos it kills a bit of time at work. Nice to meet you

just to let everyone know....were still together, move in together in a lovely new house and and have a big sparkler on my finger!:)
amy x

Wey Hey the meal ticket is secured, good luck:cool:

At least some stories have a happy ending.

But most stories don't have an ending, and this sounds like a new beginning.

booked our wedding today :)

booked our wedding today :)

Congratulations, but won't Steve Gerrard be devastated?

I agree with Joe, other than that can he do any work on your salon - perhaps for a free haircut - just an idea!

booked our wedding today :)
Congratulations! :)

Congratulations, but won't Steve Gerrard be devastated?


lol, probably, i am sure he will get over me in time!;)

It's so lovely to have updates that are happy dilly- thank you for letting us know.

Congratulations to both of you.