Hi people

Well, it's been a while since I've submitted anything so here goes.

This is my attempt at something resembling a ghost story. I got the idea from an Akercocke song where part way through you can hear footsteps that sound, to me, like they're on cobbles.

I've read this in public a couple of times and it's been quite well received, so I thought I'd put it forward for your pleasure and comments.

So here goes:

http://www.communitynet.org.uk/SFStoryArchive/1214914009.doc

Nice one Leviathan, that is my type of poetry.
I’ve only one comment to add, without going into the usual poetic jargon, is try to keep your lines a bit more uniform, example your last verse…..

Heard on the wind and as quickly fading in to space,
The only detail that will ever be remembered of these streets are the footsteps in the forgotten marketplace.

To make it flow better….

Heard on the wind and quickly fading into space,
The echo of footsteps, in the forgotten marketplace.

A cracking job, keep them coming. :thumbsup:

Nice one Leviathan, that is my type of poetry.
I’ve only one comment to add, without going into the usual poetic jargon, is try to keep your lines a bit more uniform, example your last verse…..

Heard on the wind and as quickly fading in to space,
The only detail that will ever be remembered of these streets are the footsteps in the forgotten marketplace.

To make it flow better….

Heard on the wind and quickly fading into space,
The echo of footsteps, in the forgotten marketplace.

A cracking job, keep them coming. :thumbsup:

Ah, well, my reason for this was to give it a long lingering end. Sort of as if you were leaving the marketplace and having one long last look. Didn't want it to end abruptly.

But cheers for the comment, and I'm glad you liked it. Will get more up as soon as possible. :)