View Full Version : Twins forced to go to seperate schools... over my dead body!


Zebra
29-06-2008, 23:02
I've heard of various cases like this and I must admit to being very concerned for our girls.
We live in an area which currently has over 250 new houses in a smallish village area and the plans for a further 200 have just been agreed. This is undoubtedly creating a bit of a problem for the local schools and nurseries who between them have modest facilities.
I've read extensively on the pros and cons of seperating twins and the event stages it normally happens and for us, it will happen over my dead body until the girls decide for themselves.
Close twins can find it especialy traumatic to be seperated from the one person who is usually in eyesight or earshot all day, everyday. Some can be troubled by the lack of proximity, some by the idea of being alone. Some just like the comfort of their sibling. Most twins become complementary to one another and no matter how much you foster independence upon them, much the same as any other siblings, they are different people with strengths and weaknesses but whom have had their entire lives affected by the other. If one cannot walk the other brings toys, if one cannot speak sufficiently, the other asks for their drink for them. One will normally have the leader role and one the follower though both can be as strong in character/personality/ability as the other, it will present in different ways. Their pairing to them is normal.
Our twins greet each other as if seperated for a week when we take them out for a few hours seperately. If one wakes earlier than the other there is much kissing and hugging done when the missing twin finally awakes. Spending a whole day apart would leave them bereft, no matter how much they fight over the purple cup, the meowing cat toy or the best potty.
I wouldn't mind them being in different classes, though that wouldn't happen as the local facilities are all single classes. I'd prefer them to be in the same class but not sit together, for now. If and when they decide they'd like to change things, then I'll do what I can, but until then, no way Jose!
I know of twins who were happy together until secondary school at which time they decided to go to seperate schools, but it ws their decision and one which their parents respected. That's my ideal.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1030283/Twins-sent-different-primary-schools-mile-apart-council-refuses-consider-special-bond.html

Bonny
29-06-2008, 23:50
What a ridiculous scenario! It's wholly unreasonable to expect a parent to take two children of the same age to two different schools - as she says - she can't be in two places at once.

mary70
30-06-2008, 07:04
i know of a parent that has children in different primary schools due to lack of space not the same year group though and it has been a nightmare for her, she takes one first one week and leaves that child in the reception and then takes the other and then swaps the next week and she has done this for a few years now totally unaceptable

em2007
30-06-2008, 07:15
i was at school with twin boys and they were in seperate classes. they never had any problems with it and were still as close as ever out of school, but 'shared' each others friends. i can only remember this at junior school, not sure about primary.

but i don't know if this was decided by the boys, or parents or school. noone should make them split up and seperate schools is just ridiculous!! you know your children best and you know how they're going to react in certain situations. a school day is quite long for someone so little, and even if they start together and you change your mind when they're older i'm sure it wouldn't be that hard to give them seperate classes later on.

personally if it was me, i'd want them in the same class but i'd have a word with the teacher so they can make sure when they do little group activities, that they're not always together. at least that way, they're on their own, making their own friends but not apart for a whole day at a time, they can get back together near enough anytime they like.

honeyb35
30-06-2008, 09:38
i'm going to have 3 kids at different primary schools in a couple of years, and I'm dreading it!
I dont think any child should be forced to go to a different school from their siblings though (whether twins or not). I went to a primary school with my older sister and younger brother and wouldnt have had it any other way.
Twins have been with each other since conception, its natural to keep them together, until they are old enough to decide otherwise